"Hey, do you want to see something swell?"
That is totally creepy! Why don't you start out with simple things like whats your name, what do you do for a living, what are your interests, etc. Try to find a common bond. If she seems cool ask for her #, call her, ask her out on a date, see how it goes, then kiss and see where it goes. I wouldn't start out with sexual innuendos... but I'm also not a guy so what do I know.
The swell thing was a joke. Another good one: "Hey, do you own a chicken farm?" Girl: "No, why?" "Because you're pretty good at raising cocks."
Dude, the venue didn't seem right for the bull crap chitchat. I mean we were both drinking, and dancing to the beats in the air. How could I, without feeling completely douchey, strike up a normal conversation - "Hey, what do you do? Blah blah blah" - in the middle of her pushing back on my dong. No digits for me this time.
But hey guys, I picked "J" up at a concert if you don't remember. But she came up to me and started talking to me first. Then I closed the deal by holding her close to me, getting her digits and setting up a date right then for the Ice Cube concert the following weekend. OH yeah! And SHE bought ME a few beers and drove to my car. Nice. I didn't offer to buy her a drink, so after 20 minutes or so, she offered me one... then two. Her interest level in me was obviously higher than mine was in her. (Still is)
So my problem is I just cannot say the first words. I just don't know what the fuck to say. But as soon as "J" started talking to me, I was completely at ease and had no problems asking her for her number or on a date.
Same sort of thing in speech class. I worry about that shit for weeks before the actual speech, and get sweaty, and shaky right before the speech, but when I actually start the speech it's smooth sailing.