×

Quote from: (_)_)===D
... and then I would have been all like "Ha! In my face biotch!" to my self.


Bad, shitty, horrible movies(Read 4671 times)
Bad, shitty, horrible movies on: March 10, 2009, 07:50:23 PM
The antithesis to danzig's thread.

The worst movies I have seen:
1. Feast 2 (didn't see Feast 1). I hung my head in shame for the writers/ director/ actors of this piece o' shit when I was watching it.
2. Coffee & Cigarettes (walked out of this one)
« Last Edit: March 10, 2009, 07:52:17 PM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #1 on: March 10, 2009, 07:51:57 PM
The antithesis to danzig's thread.

The worst movies I have seen:
1. Feast 2 (didn't see Feast 1). I hung my head in shame for the writers of this piece o' shit when I was watching it.
2. Coffee & Ciggarettes (walked out on this one)

Coffee & Cigarettes had a few boring segments but I actually really enjoyed it other than that.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #2 on: March 10, 2009, 07:53:41 PM
I liked the White Stripes and the Bill Murray/ Jza/ Rza parts but that was about it.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #3 on: March 10, 2009, 07:57:01 PM
The Happening
Anything made for the SciFi Channel.
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #4 on: March 10, 2009, 08:00:32 PM
Pearl Harbor

and

Bicentennial Man - The tone of the film was spot on for how I imagined as a child, just couldnt accept having the bot look like Robin Williams.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #5 on: March 10, 2009, 08:50:02 PM
I watched the first 4 minutes of Dumb and Dumberer and nearly threw the DVD out my window.
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #6 on: March 10, 2009, 09:21:35 PM
The antithesis to danzig's thread.

Actually, it was my thread.

All of the new Star Wars films filt this bill. A New Hope and Return of the Jedi also suck. There, I said it.
George Lucas couldnt have backed out a fetid steaming turd as vile as this shit if he'd been eating the wildest curry on the planet.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #7 on: March 10, 2009, 09:26:33 PM
All of the new Star Wars films filt this bill. A New Hope and Return of the Jedi also suck. There, I said it.
George Lucas couldnt have backed out a fetid steaming turd as vile as this shit if he'd been eating the wildest curry on the planet.

The cut scenes are nice in the new films. You know all those pretty shots of the main world whatever its called.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #8 on: March 10, 2009, 09:27:44 PM
Can I have a time frame here? 20th Century? This decade? What are we talking about? How can we possibly have a conversation about... Just kidding.

Like Danzig, I kind of liked Coffee & Cigarettes.

Bad movies? Man I have seen some real shit films, but they're almost so bad they're classics. Off the top of my head the worst 3 films I can think of are:
1)American Psycho 2 - Probably the all time worst movie I've ever seen
2)Slackers  - a very close second (NOTE: not "Slacker," the Linkletter film - I liked that)
3)Alone in the Dark - Uwe Boll at his finest



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #9 on: March 10, 2009, 09:40:29 PM
Actually, it was my thread.

Oops! Sorry. He sort of hijacked it and in my mind that led to me thinking he started it... ummm I'm dumb.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #10 on: March 11, 2009, 12:03:32 AM
The Happening
Anything made for the SciFi Channel.

Jesus christ, am I the only fucking person who enjoyed that movie?  I feel like everyone was expecting something more or different, and that they didn't get that the hammy acting was purposefully funny, and that they thought the plants and wind were supposed to be scary when it was more about the fact that they weren't even sure if that was it, and they assumed the underlying message was some lame environmental thing which I really didn't see it like that, and they just didn't really relax and enjoy it because they felt the need to rip it apart just because it was a Shamalan (sp?) film.........or more likely I'm just permanently brain damaged from all the drugs.

And Sci-Fi is the worst channel ever that has the potential to be one of the greatest.  Fucking assholes canceled MST3K.  Eh, at least there are RiffTrax.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #11 on: March 11, 2009, 12:08:29 AM
SciFi continually makes stupid movies about everything from bugs (Mansquito! and some shite about locusts) to cheap knockoffs of bad Stephen King movies like some werewolf thing that was on last night.
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #12 on: March 11, 2009, 12:12:27 AM
speaking of the environmental films, Eco Tarzan was one of the worst I ever saw.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #13 on: March 11, 2009, 12:37:25 AM
I love starwars, but didn't like the one with young Anakin.
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #14 on: March 11, 2009, 02:39:06 AM
The last movie I walked out of was X-Files this past summer.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #15 on: March 11, 2009, 02:59:20 AM
The Happening
Anything made for the SciFi Channel.

Jesus christ, am I the only fucking person who enjoyed that movie?  I feel like everyone was expecting something more or different, and that they didn't get that the hammy acting was purposefully funny, and that they thought the plants and wind were supposed to be scary when it was more about the fact that they weren't even sure if that was it, and they assumed the underlying message was some lame environmental thing which I really didn't see it like that, and they just didn't really relax and enjoy it because they felt the need to rip it apart just because it was a Shamalan (sp?) film.........or more likely I'm just permanently brain damaged from all the drugs.

And Sci-Fi is the worst channel ever that has the potential to be one of the greatest.  Fucking assholes canceled MST3K.  Eh, at least there are RiffTrax.

The Happening - Cliffnotes - By Thrash
1) Oh, no!  Something's happening!
2) Let's run!
3) It's happening here too!
4) Ok, it's stopped; carry on!
5) Oh, it's happening somewhere else ...
The End

There, I just saved you 2 hours of your life ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #16 on: March 11, 2009, 03:38:25 AM
I've never walked out of a film before. I'm way too cheap to do that. I also eat food I've dropped on the floor and ask the bar wenches to hold on a second and let me finish the last sip when I'm nursing the shit out of a beer at a non-dive bar.

The closest I may have come to walking out on a movie was Signs.

Off-topic, thus microprint ramble:
The closest I ever got to getting violent in a theater was when I saw The Godfather for the first time. I was with two pretty female friends of mine neither of who had seen the film either and we were on some sort of triple date (or 1.5 or whatever). This dumb fucker behind us was also on some kind of date with this idiot girl who kept freaking out and saying idiocy like that she couldn't watch certain scenes and "tell me when they're over." Ugh. Well this dude starts revealing large portions of the plot in a loud voice to settle her nerves. In the scene where Sonny gets gunned down at the traffic booth, I knew he was going to die seconds after he gets all riled up at the house because this fucker behind us leans over and loudly announces "the women might want to close their eyes for this part. He's gonna be shot to death in a few minutes" - actually trying to bring our group into his intended audience. I almost turned around right there and told him to shut his goddamned mouth, but in the end I just ignored it. Consequently, there was no threesome for me that night.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #17 on: March 11, 2009, 03:40:52 AM
Quote
The Happening - Cliffnotes - By Thrash
1) Oh, no!  Something's happening!
2) Let's run!
3) It's happening here too!
4) Ok, it's stopped; carry on!
5) Oh, it's happening somewhere else ...
The End

That reminds me of 28 days later, which I liked.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #18 on: March 11, 2009, 04:34:03 AM
The Happening - Cliffnotes - By Thrash
1) Oh, no!  Something's happening!
2) Let's run!
3) It's happening here too!
4) Ok, it's stopped; carry on!
5) Oh, it's happening somewhere else ...
The End

There, I just saved you 2 hours of your life ...

Yeah I have some cliffnotes also:
The Lord Of The Rings trilogy
1.  Midgets start walking with a ring
2.  Midgets keep walking...
3.  Midgets keep walking...
4.  Oh no! Evil things try to kill the midgets!
5.  Midgets keep walking...
6.  Midgets keep walking...
7.  Oh no! Evil things try to steal the ring!
8.  Midgets keep walking...
9.  Midgets keep walking...
10.  Oh no! Evil ring tries to make the midgets kill each other!
11.  Midgets keep walking...
12.  Midgets keep walking...
13.  Lead midget throws ring in volcano

There, I just save you 10 hours of your life, unless you watched the extended versions which include more walking.

14.  Lead Midget kills prostitutes with his fingernails then proceeds to eat them and feed the scraps to his wolves in a far superior movie.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #19 on: March 11, 2009, 05:07:13 AM
I got so fed up with the last hour of Return Of The King, I loudly started making gay jokes... I pissed a few nerd off, but it was amazing how many laughs I got.

I made racist jokes all the way through Matrix II & III... jesus, what a way to fuck up a franchise.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #20 on: March 11, 2009, 06:08:56 AM
It got a bit long there... hard to condense that thing though.
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #21 on: March 11, 2009, 08:54:10 AM
It got a bit long there... hard to condense that thing though.

I think I did it quite well.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #22 on: March 11, 2009, 09:11:30 AM
Terrible movie: An American Haunting.

Not only did I walk out of it 20 minutes in but I went to the customer service counter and said, "Look, that's got to be the worst movie ever made. We were only in there for 20 minutes, can I get some courtesy tickets for another movie?" and got two new tickets. I expected a hard time over it but didn't get any.

As for The Happening I watched it expecting the worst (and already knew it was the plants) and found that it wasn't as bad as I expected. In fact, I thought it was entertaining.

Movies made for the Sci Fi channel are the worst steaming piles of shit ever, and I always get suckerd in by the titles. Then after watching about 30 seconds I'm all like, "Goddamnit! They get me every time!" and go back to flipping through the channels.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #23 on: March 11, 2009, 09:15:36 AM
SBS here used to have a dude called Des Mangan hosting cult movies on a Monday night.

Some of the greatest worst movies I ever saw were during this time.

One Armed Boxer tops the list.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #24 on: March 11, 2009, 09:25:36 AM
channel 31 Bne - Schlock Treatment nee Trash Video , no longer on-air.

the store still lives.

http://www.trashvideo.com.au/index.htm

 



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #25 on: March 11, 2009, 12:00:10 PM
Consequently, there was no threesome for me that night.

Booooo
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #26 on: March 11, 2009, 12:43:19 PM
These were modern girls. My restraint was interpreted as a defect of manliness. At least that was the conclusion I came to while drinking myself to sleep.



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #27 on: March 11, 2009, 01:44:55 PM
As for The Happening I watched it expecting the worst (and already knew it was the plants) and found that it wasn't as bad as I expected. In fact, I thought it was entertaining.

Movies made for the Sci Fi channel are the worst steaming piles of shit ever, and I always get suckerd in by the titles. Then after watching about 30 seconds I'm all like, "Goddamnit! They get me every time!" and go back to flipping through the channels.

You never fail to be my hero and a huge homo at the same time. In fact, your Delta Tau Kai name is now Hemo.
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #28 on: March 11, 2009, 03:25:21 PM
Ha ha! Hemo.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Bad, shitty, horrible movies Reply #29 on: March 11, 2009, 03:30:47 PM
Is this the good movie or bad movie thread? I've lost track.

Still, if you're not interested in an earth shattering spoiler don't read the micro text below.



Danzig will die alone.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2009, 10:08:17 AM by krapsna »
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com