It's the Government checking up on us...Quote from: underclassdave wrapped his router in foil so we're OKQuote from: ThrashIt's tru ...
dave wrapped his router in foil so we're OKQuote from: ThrashIt's tru ...
It's tru ...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
(562): tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will(714): and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
(315): MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!(315): AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!