I started out unfit, got way into exercise, got out of exercise, screwed up my back and now I'm unfit again. 2011 is hereby the year of exercise and getting my back straightened out because I'm too young for this shit. I worked way too fucking hard this year. Other people left and I picked up the slack. I picked up too much slack and people aren't letting me put it down again. Work made me miserable for 6 months. I couldn't sleep some nights. For my efforts I get a pay raise, a promotion and more work. It's a vicious cycle but most of the world is less fortunate. My wife is pregnant and all going well I will be father to a baby boy 6 weeks from now. We have done zero preparation for the imminent arrival. January is hereby the month of getting our shit together on the baby front. My wife starts businesses as a hobby, doesn't drink, is thrifty and loves to cook me Japanese food. We speak Japanese to each other because it's less confrontational and haven't had a fight in 4.5 years of being together. I pinch myself at my good fortune. If your partner is smarter than you and more driven then thank that person as often as you can and never criticize them for the occasional late night. I have a road map to being financially free by the end of 2014 and I hope I have the discipline to follow it but I probably don't. Ian got me high and fat. Many people got me drunk. I practiced really hard at baseball and got better. I didn't pick up a golf club in months and can barely hit the thing now. I'd love for you freaks to come back and do Japan 2.0. I eat a lot of organic food with a huge carbon footprint. My mother in law kicks my ass at table-tennis but I can beat that bitch at snooker. Work gave me an iPod touch for busting ass and my colleagues think I'm a dick for it. I'll give it to my brother. Australia trip for ashes was epic and financial freedom package was expanded to include live sport events. I hate gadgets and spend too much time with my iPhone. I just ordered a kindle and I'm going to be a dad in 6 weeks. Fuck.

OK but you may be sorry that you asked.

I'm a loser. This year I developed a long list of reasons why I want to take my own life, and I added to it before 10am most days. Nearly everything I started this year either died in progress or was snatched from my hands. I refused to accept defeat but ultimately, apathy has become my lifestyle. I want to turn that apathy into anonymity. I know, that's kind of a nonlinear statement and I've said it before. But trust me. Changes are on the horizon. I make no promises for 2011 other than self-preservation. But for those who care, it's enough.

Sorry to be a downer.

Overall, it's been an ok year.

I was getting really fit at the beginning of the year, broke my wrist, then put some of the weight back on.  Partied quite a bit through August, when a lot of people in the circle of people I hang out with in Baltimore stopped talking to each other for one reason or another.  That worked out fine for me though, because I stumbled into a serious relationship around that time with someone it seems like I'll be with for the long term - though will probably lead to me relaxing my desire to not get married before 35.  I worked a lot (way more than I wanted to), got a pretty good bonus + an iPad from my office.  Started back into the phd program but haven't done a lot - not too big of a deal, since it puts my student loans back into deferral and I come out $4K to the positive on the year after paying tuition.  I had hoped to get a lot more done, though, and have promised myself to work harder in the New Year - which should work out pretty well, as my paying job won't be quite as busy during the first quarter.  Started P90x on the recommendation of a friend recently and have already dropped back down 7 lbs - and I actually like the workouts way more than going to a gym.  Martial arts were disappointingly stagnant due to the broken wrist then being lazy and out of shape.  Didn't get into fighting with the Celts, either.  Financial goals are progressing nicely and seems I'm on track for most things I was considering in my 5 year plan.  I feel like that had it not been for the broken wrist derailing all of my physical goals and cutting into the time I could dedicate towards school, this might have been one of my best years ever.

Fuck 2010, I'm glad that fucking year is behind me.

It started alright, but by late January I knew it was going downhill fast.

It's only approriate that the year ended with me shivering in a hotel room in Befast fighting Swine Flu.

Over half way through 2011, and things are way, way better.

Doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin to quit smoking and lose weight after my little escapade witht he emergency room back last October.  I'd be all for it, but Wellbutrin's primary purpose is as an antidepressant, and those scare the shit out of me.  And it doesn't help that some online friends of mine that work in the medical community said that Wellbutrin is as hard to come off of as heroin.  Probably gonna do it anyway, though, soon as I get around to making another doctor's appointment.

I read a study recently where some people lost weight by eating only vegetables, fish and walking everywhere. I'm going to try that.

I typically just vape over smoking ...
Look into the Joye Ego-Tank system ...
Best $60 I've ever spent ...

Doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin to quit smoking and lose weight after my little escapade witht he emergency room back last October.  I'd be all for it, but Wellbutrin's primary purpose is as an antidepressant, and those scare the shit out of me.  And it doesn't help that some online friends of mine that work in the medical community said that Wellbutrin is as hard to come off of as heroin.  Probably gonna do it anyway, though, soon as I get around to making another doctor's appointment.

I've done Wellbutrin three times, and successfully quit smoking three times. The first two times I found it made me really jittery, the third time it was fine. I've been off cigs now since February 8th 2007, and don't intend to ever smoke again. Being able to breathe is nice.

I typically just vape over smoking ...
Look into the Joye Ego-Tank system ...
Best $60 I've ever spent ...

If you mean the electronic vapor thing Thrash, yeah I did that when I was in the physical therapy place, and it helped a little, but once I got out it was maybe two or three days before I went to go get a pack of Winstons.  My trouble is that I really LIKE smoking.  I like the flavor and texture, etc, and the fact that it calms me down and lets me focus.  I used to have bad anger issues before I started.  You think you've seen me angry and scattered?  You never saw me before I started smoking back in '95, when I used to smash shit and mangle my fists punching the walls.  After I started smoking, everyone - and I mean everyone - that knew me remarked on how much calmer I was.

John, I really LIKED smoking too. I didn't stop when it took my grandfather, then my sister, my grandmother, then my mother. Because I liked it. Then a year ago someone showed me a picture of my mother the week she died. She looked like the cryptkeeper. No, not kidding. Lost her hair and wasted away to nothing. I put it down and left it there.

The first step is deciding that life is more important than what you like. It has to be what you want. Continuing to live has to be the most important thing. Once you get to that point it's kind of easy.

Sorry, didn't mean to preach.

You're right, though. I still do love smoking. I guess I'm sort of lucky to still have weed to smoke, and also lucky that I didn't turn into one of those all-day stoner zombies. I smoke a little over a joint a day, I reckon, and I wake up every morning relatively free of lung butter.

You have to get the right one; the Ego-Tank is fucking awesome and all others pale in comparison!

Yeah but it's still a vape. No vape is ever going to give you the sensation of actual smoke in your lungs, all it's giving you is the nicotine. Seems pretty pointless to me - if you can quit the actual smoke part, why not quit the nicotine as well?

True.  I feel kinda stupid knowing the thing I'm puffing on is gonna be plugged into a USB port in a few hours.

I still light up on occasion whe drinking, but I feel like a dumbass the next day

The Ego-Tank IS just like smoking ...
That's the thing!

Except it's not, it can't possibly be, because it's not smoke.

I find the Marlboro and the tobacco flavors work quite well ...

I don't doubt it. But it's not smoke, is it?

Semantics ...
Actually, with the right system, I think it's better!

Doctor wants to put me on Wellbutrin to quit smoking and lose weight after my little escapade witht he emergency room back last October.  I'd be all for it, but Wellbutrin's primary purpose is as an antidepressant, and those scare the shit out of me.  And it doesn't help that some online friends of mine that work in the medical community said that Wellbutrin is as hard to come off of as heroin.  Probably gonna do it anyway, though, soon as I get around to making another doctor's appointment.

Wellbutrin is magical. Do it.

Oh, and, 2010 was mostly terrible. 2011 has been good so far.

Yeah, I've pretty much decided to go ahead and try it, next time I get the chance to make an appointment.  A friend of mine came by to visit and borrow an old router I had yesterday, and he said he sued to be on it and for him it was a "don't give a fuck" pill.  He didn't smoke because he didn't give a fuck about smoking.  He lost some weight because he didn't give a fuck about eating.  He said someone could have walked into the room and shot him in the face and not a single fuck would have been given that day.  He also said what everyone else has, that it affects everyone differently, so I'm at least going to try it for awhile.

It made me give just enough of a fuck that I didn't want to kill myself on a daily basis.

Oh, and, 2010 was mostly terrible. 2011 has been good so far.

It's because you've embraced anal once again; HURRAH!

It made me give just enough of a fuck that I didn't want to kill myself on a daily basis.

Yes. This.

I'm not gonna evem nother quoting myself; I know I'm right ...

2010 pretty much sucked. 2011 started out kinda shit, got REALLY shit, then improved vastly. 2012 has been mostly awesome.

Happy for you.

I think that's true for most of us, in general ...