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Quote from: 13chemicals
I DO NOT see the president as a nigger.  I see him as an extremely tan white man married to a nigger.


I just went on the most retarded date ever(Read 36308 times)
Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #60 on: March 28, 2009, 02:06:00 AM
i can come! sometimes it just takes a while. but with the time traveling abilities i'm sure that won't be a problem.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #61 on: March 28, 2009, 02:12:54 AM
Another detail thats missing is how long the dry hump lasted.
Quote from: FB comment
Look dude, there's only one thing I like that starts with Hot Black Co- and it doesn't end in 'ffee'.



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #62 on: March 28, 2009, 02:13:56 AM
Wait.......are we fucking dinosaurs?
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #63 on: March 28, 2009, 02:14:03 AM
When I travel back in time my ejaculation un-splatters and reconvenes to reverse enter my penis, flow into my balls, and evaporate.
Pour the wine, hold the grind, quarter to nine, let's go.



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #64 on: March 28, 2009, 02:24:19 AM
aaagh, you're like magics
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #65 on: March 28, 2009, 02:32:30 AM
*claps*
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #66 on: March 28, 2009, 12:14:24 PM
What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.

I fully agree.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #67 on: March 28, 2009, 12:20:46 PM
Did you scratch the stain after it dried to see if it left a stiff spot or not?
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #68 on: March 28, 2009, 03:21:51 PM
No.

This thread makes me wantr to shit out gold chains.

you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #69 on: March 28, 2009, 03:38:32 PM
are those the ones you've shit out so far?



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #70 on: March 28, 2009, 06:06:10 PM
This thread makes me want to cry.



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #71 on: March 28, 2009, 07:45:38 PM
Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Which means I'll hear it chinese whispers style. The guy had a purple monkey dishwasher.



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #72 on: March 29, 2009, 01:02:46 AM
i can come! sometimes it just takes a while. but with the time traveling abilities i'm sure that won't be a problem.

... and she's cute as heel (sounding) when she does!

What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.

I fully agree.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Well, it was a barter, was it not?
hahaha ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #73 on: March 29, 2009, 01:03:47 AM
shhh, dave! don't talk about me like that now, i'm somebody's mom!

 ::)
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #74 on: March 29, 2009, 01:27:43 AM
At my age, that's even hotter ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #75 on: March 29, 2009, 03:37:12 PM
Mr. Hump My Ass and Cum just texted me, "Hey whats up?"

WTF are you kidding me??? What a tool.
« Last Edit: March 29, 2009, 03:37:40 PM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #76 on: March 29, 2009, 03:42:32 PM
oh, c'mon. if you didn't scare him off with all that weird talk about fucking him in the ass he might be worth a second chance.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #77 on: March 29, 2009, 03:44:27 PM
Nope. He creeps me right the fuck out.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #78 on: March 29, 2009, 03:45:05 PM
well, that's a valid reason. for you, i mean.

i think i tend to gravitate towards the creepy guys.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #79 on: March 29, 2009, 03:48:57 PM
He creeps me out in a "one step away from date rape" kinda way.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #80 on: March 29, 2009, 04:12:40 PM
It's a fun fine line to walk ...

Mr. DRY-Hump My Ass and Cum just texted me, "Hey whats up?"

WTF are you kidding me??? What a tool.
I fixed that for you ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #81 on: March 29, 2009, 06:01:37 PM
Well did you reply?



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #82 on: March 30, 2009, 11:49:31 AM
I said "Not much." Then he replied and asked me what I did on Saturday. I didn't respond to that one.

It's very anticlimactic.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #83 on: March 31, 2009, 01:25:11 AM
W3rd ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #84 on: March 31, 2009, 03:23:50 AM
SKANK
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #85 on: March 31, 2009, 07:26:45 AM
DRUGGIE
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #86 on: March 31, 2009, 10:23:03 AM
If a guy can't handle my jokes, then he's not a guy I would want to hang out with anyways.

pun intended!
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #87 on: March 31, 2009, 02:08:09 PM
Well of course I know, if he got me naked he'd try his damndest to have sex with me but I wouldn't go for it anyways if I didn't want to.
I've never slept with a girl who I didn't nail the first night/first time I tried. Once they deny me sex I shut down that avenue of thought so I don't come off as creepy. There have been a few times I could tell one of these denier chicks wanted it later, but fuck that. I don't need to be jerked around. Now it's her turn to feel unwanted.

EDIT: OK there's a slight exception that's ahppened to me only once. The chick is allowed to change her mind the same night after denying me. That delights me.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2009, 02:09:53 PM by Doormouse »



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #88 on: March 31, 2009, 02:36:52 PM
Like I said, I felt that I was being pressured. It was a turn off. I don't know why I felt like I could give myself a chance to get into it, I should've just kicked him out. And I definitely don't want to go out with him again.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2009, 02:40:04 PM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever Reply #89 on: March 31, 2009, 02:47:27 PM
He was dry humping you and came?

Seriously. Especially with you telling him all kinds of stuff that clearly didn't turn him on. If he could still get himself off despite all that from just dry humping, the dude would probably last like 2.67 seconds if you actually screwed him.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.