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Quote from: banal
If the glove is thick enough I guess you wouldnt feel your hand. Though... It'd look like you were getting a handjob from Micky Mouse.


Fucking on the bathroom counter(Read 30730 times)
Fucking on the bathroom counter on: March 30, 2009, 03:29:11 AM
Thrash, since I did promise I'd give details about last weekend, here they are.

Where the fuck did I leave off... ah yes, the brutality on Friday night. So she left Saturday and I didn't hear from her until about 10am, Sunday. This was a planned get together (that Friday night was not), where she was going to come over and cook me homemade pizza. Anyway, she comes over and cooks up an amazing yeast-free pizza dough, pepporoni-and-black olive pizza. Buonissimo! Again, after our "talk" that Monday I still thought maybe Friday night was just a drunken fuck-fest and when she was sober she wouldn't fuck.

Wrong! I got up behind her while she was at the stove and noticed it didn't feel like she had any panties on under her little summer skirt thing. I lifted up her skirt and smiled, and she coyly said "What?" Dirty girl. We were going out to catch some last-minute SxSw shows and she was going pantyless??? Hmm. Ok. I wasn't actually as thrilled as you probably all thought I would have been - it was a pretty windy day.

We finish up the amazing pizza, and watch a bit of some stupid show on Discovery. I lean over and start kissing her. About 5 minutes we were raring to go. My wood trying to burst through my pants and her pussy sopping on my hand. We head from the couch into my room and gently take each other's clothes off. I like the gentle part ... usually we almost tear each other apart. This was more sensual. She heads to the bathroom and grabs a condom, and puts it on. We fuck. and fuck. I love it, actually more than night sex. First time having sex during the daytime. She doesn't bite and I don't smack her ass. It's hot and sensual. She drenches my stomach, groin and bed. I feel wet all on the sides of me. She laughs because my belly-button is filled with her cum. A reservoir of female juice. While she's on top, I get right on the verge of nutting and she moves positions and I lose it. FUCK!!

What a great idea! She suggests stroking me until I am just about to explode, and starts at it. When I am fairly close, but not quite close enough I tell her and she hops on and bounces. I lose it again. Sigh. I suggest we try one more time. She gets off, starts sucking over the condom and stroking. This time I don't tell her to get on until like literally 2 seconds until am I about to blow. Like a panther, she quickly slinks on top of my cock and bounces, once or twice. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!! Her pussy milks my cock dry. That was the longest orgasm I have ever had - probably 20 seconds or something. It was fantastic. I really liked how she sternly was saying "Cum Kyle. Cum" while she was bouncing. Yeow.

When she got off we looked at the condom and she exclaimed "Wow you really liked that"... I look down and my semen had expanded the tip of the condom so that some of it flowed out of the reservoir and down around the head. Jesus. What a load! No wonder it felt good. I'm going to continue eating my zinc tablets haha.

Well, we get cleaned up and head downtown. Of course while we are riding the elevator up from my parking garage to the lobby, one of our attorney's stepped in. Hahaha. She was pantyless, I still had marks all over my neck from her beating my ass that Friday, and we pretty much looked like we just fucked. It was awkward. She had to hold her skirt down the entire way we are walking to the bars. See some cool music and blah blah, end up at her friend's house who is throwing a bbq. That's when I had the Irish Car Bombs and Maker's Mark for the first time. Good stuff.

Wow, this is getting long. Long story - short. We get home and fuck again (first time I've had sex twice in a day). This is the normal crazy-wild sex, with ass slapping and her yelling "harder". She was completely drunk and I don't think I like her when she's drunk. She started the clawing shit and I had to tell her to cool it. She also told me to "hit her in the head" hahaha. After about an hour and a half my cock obviously couldn't go anymore. She was almost in a trance-like state just repeating the same set of phrases over and over and over and over. "Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me." "I need it. I need it. I need it. I need your big cock in me." It almost felt like I was getting raped. I was tired and she was drunk and I had to get up to go to work the next morning. I told her I needed a break. She wouldn't listen.

Wicked crazy girl. I get up and head to the bathroom and she follows. Somehow I manage a boner after she strokes me some more and I pick her up and put her on the bathroom counter and fuck the shit out of her. That's what I was an idiot and tried picking her up to fuck her while I was holding her. I did manage to get a couple of thrusts in and then my back started feeling twisted. So I set her back down quickly. By this time I just want her to leave. I tell her to get out of the bathroom, because I need to take a shower. Hop in the shower, and she keeps pulling the curtain back peeking her head in telling me to hurry up. I stay in there, hiding, for about 30 minutes. All is quiet.

Whew. She's asleep when I get out. I am exhausted and it's like 3am. God dammit. I fall asleep.

The next morning (Monday) we wake up a bit early. She puts her hand on my chest. I put my hand on top of hers and move her hand down to my cock area - morning wood is ready to go. She smiles and said "Forward aren't you?" And gives me a loving, BAD ASS morning blow job.

So. She seems pretty psycho. I kind of like the sex, and love the blow jobs, but I need to find a more stable woman.

Haha I managed to start 9 of those paragraphs with "W"s. I was trying for all of 'em, but ran out of words.




Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #1 on: March 30, 2009, 03:40:11 AM
Marry the girl.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #2 on: March 30, 2009, 04:40:30 AM
Yeah. Seriously.

Let's look at it objectively.

She lets you poke her fun bits with your ugly bits. She cooks for you. She does things like go commando when going out, and obviously would do pretty much any crazy shit you want her to...

She's obviously into you, you silly fuck...  Just because she aint the Prom Queen means she'll try harder.

Dumbass.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #3 on: March 30, 2009, 04:51:06 AM
that was tl dr but aint nothin wrong with pizza and bonin
Pour the wine, hold the grind, quarter to nine, let's go.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #4 on: March 30, 2009, 06:55:39 AM
Jesus, fuck.

1- Zinc is toxic if you take too much, so don't go taking double-doses.

2- You are not an Alpha Male Jesus Millionaire, and thus do not and will not get your pick of Fantasy Broads. Even if you were, the way you're treating this girl, considering the way she treats you, would still be worthy of a well and thorough slap upside the head. She cooks for you, she fucks you silly, she obviously adores you. If you cant man the fuck up and commit to her, quit stringing her along.  No matter how many times you make your lame-ass excuses about having told her you're too selfish and chickenshit to have a relationship with her, you are leading her on by continuing to see her.

 Do you think Angelina Jolie is going to pick your scrawny ass up at a bar and whisk you away to Hollywood? Even if she did, you know what? You'd still punk out on that too, once you saw she was just like every other human being:
Flawed.
Inconvenient.
Imperfect.
Human.

Angelina Jolie shits too, Kyle.

Angelina Jolie shits.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #5 on: March 30, 2009, 09:20:49 AM
Angelina Jolie shits too, Kyle.

Angelina Jolie shits.

Best quote ever.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #6 on: March 30, 2009, 10:13:55 AM
I've seen pictures of this girl man, when she finally figures it all out she's going to rip your cock off and shove it down your throat
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #7 on: March 30, 2009, 10:22:53 AM
Yeah man, you better be praying she never gets wind of this.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #8 on: March 30, 2009, 11:14:56 AM
Hottest bathroom sex: HOTEL bathroom sex. A really nice hotel. I'm getting dolled up to go to this restaurant, putting the finishing touches on my makeup and hair. He walks into the bathroom, comes up behind me and whispers some very sweet nothings in my ear. Kisses me hard and after a few minutes of pawing and making out, I end up bent forward over the marble countertop, holding the edge for support, and he lifts my skirt and pulls my panties down to my knees and fucks me so soooo good, right there. It's great with the mirror in front of you like that. Every bounce, every thrust, catching eachothers eye here and there, watching yourself fuck or be fucked. Super hot.


I still haven't seen a photo of this girl who was nice enough to give Kyle a morning blowjob.
« Last Edit: April 02, 2009, 02:14:46 PM by katie »



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #9 on: March 30, 2009, 11:53:23 AM
Last night I didn't have bathroom sex, but I did get a lapdance from a guy then returned the favor. It was hot. I was entertaining the idea of bathroom sex at that point but didn't want to hold up the bathroom for someone who may actually have needed to use the bathroom.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #10 on: March 30, 2009, 12:24:35 PM
Also I just saw this and thought of Kyle

http://tv.yahoo.com/show/28908/news/urn:newsml:tv.reuters.com:20090330:us_fox__ER:28527

Maybe you can go on this show, Kyle, and find a new BBW to fuck!
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #11 on: March 30, 2009, 02:20:34 PM
Yeah man, you better be praying she never gets wind of this.

right so here's hoping it's never posted about on a public forum.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #12 on: March 30, 2009, 02:28:27 PM
Psycho, trick and hip all seem to be whores to me. Is there any evidence to balance this argument out?
Reality; A shared narrative we all agree to believe.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #13 on: March 30, 2009, 02:38:54 PM
Enjoying interesting sexual exploits doesn't make a woman a whore.
Quote from: FB comment
Look dude, there's only one thing I like that starts with Hot Black Co- and it doesn't end in 'ffee'.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #14 on: March 30, 2009, 02:41:52 PM
i am not a whore, nor have i ever been.

i used to be pretty slutty but i've been faithful to my husband for many years now.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #15 on: March 30, 2009, 02:55:18 PM
I'm not a whore. I like to tease a lot. I like to pretend like I'm a slaaahhht but in reality I'm not.

I was in a monogomous relationship for 8 years for crying out loud!

Besides, who are you to go around pointing fingers and labeling whoever as such? At least I don't parade around flashing my junk to my neighbors.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2009, 03:02:50 PM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #16 on: March 30, 2009, 03:29:36 PM
Here's a rare lunch posting. (Went home for lunch.)

I had a long discussion with my step-dad last night, my best bud (Scientologist) and my boss. All of them, and you all are telling me I need to be honest with this girl and let her know we're done when she gets back from Zambia.

So, it's over. I'll tell her straight and honestly, I don't think we should continue seeing each other.






Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #17 on: March 30, 2009, 03:39:03 PM
You better line up some new pussy, stat! I live for these bagman sex updates. haha. They are like crack to me.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2009, 03:39:23 PM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #18 on: March 30, 2009, 03:43:41 PM
Bathroom sex is guaranteed hotness just because of it's spontaneous and / or sneaking around nature.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #19 on: March 30, 2009, 03:53:28 PM
Psycho, trick and hip all seem to be whores to me. Is there any evidence to balance this argument out?

what is your personal definition of a whore?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #20 on: March 30, 2009, 03:56:28 PM
i guess i'm just not really getting why kyle doesn't want to see her anymore... i mean, i think she's kinda cute in some of the pictures of her i've seen. i'd probably hit that. she seems to like crazy rough sex and i am on that level as well.

i don't like the drinking, though. if i were to start dating anyone they would have to be a non-drinker, non-smoker, and drug free.

wtf happened to me?
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #21 on: March 30, 2009, 04:03:40 PM
Psycho, trick and hip all seem to be whores to me. Is there any evidence to balance this argument out?

what is your personal definition of a whore?

Tru must be off his meds again. It's either that or sour grapes.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #22 on: March 30, 2009, 04:13:52 PM
i guess i'm just not really getting why kyle doesn't want to see her anymore... i mean, i think she's kinda cute in some of the pictures of her i've seen. i'd probably hit that. she seems to like crazy rough sex and i am on that level as well.

i don't like the drinking, though. if i were to start dating anyone they would have to be a non-drinker, non-smoker, and drug free.

wtf happened to me?

Kyle thinks he'll find something better which may or may not be the case, plus he's not into her smoking. At any rate, the way that this girl is all into him while he's not as much into her is really inflating his ego and if it becomes a long term relationship it's going to probably be a whole lot of her being treated badly.

It would be way easier to let the whole thing continue on than it would be to break it off, but in reality it's not fair to either of them. It's not fair to her because even if she is feeding into it nobody really deserves to be toyed with. It's also not fair to him because he lacks experience with relationships (let alone the sex) and may not fully realize that it's not always going to be this easy, that not every girl he has sex with is going to think he's the cat's ass. If he's going to have a successful relationship with anybody he needs the perspective that he just hasn't developed yet.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #23 on: March 30, 2009, 05:14:16 PM
stfu dr. phil

no, seriously, good points.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #24 on: March 30, 2009, 07:36:47 PM
Tru's definition of a whore is probably someone who enjoys sex and life more than him. Ie, most people
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #25 on: March 30, 2009, 07:41:21 PM
Ahh ok. Then a whore I am.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #26 on: March 30, 2009, 08:08:51 PM
It's hard to get it up with The C.I.A. watching.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #27 on: March 30, 2009, 08:36:45 PM
Yeah man, you better be praying she never gets wind of this.

*evil grin*

hehehehe........
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #28 on: March 30, 2009, 09:07:05 PM
Hey guys, bear with me here. Sometimes I purposefully avoid telling all sides of a story. Mainly because I like entertaining y'all with the good parts. Like tricky says, in doing it this way I turn you into crackwhores waiting for your next "fix".

I enjoy "J"s company, and obviously we're at that phase where we are pretty damn comfortable with each other. It takes me quite a while with anybody, be it a friend/potential fling/etc., to get really comfortable with being around somebody. She's fun, and funny. She laughs at my racist jokes and tells me hers. She's also incredibly giving, and not just to me. She works for a non-profit organization known worldwide, and is in Africa to help her best friend out there with some things. I have never in my life gotten to this level where I am super comfortable with a girl.

Now what I don't tell you all because it's just boring is that I tell her that I appreciate her and what she does for me all the time. After every meal she cooks, I make it a point to really let her know how I appreciate her cooking, and how fantastic the meal is. I literally thank her after every blowjob I've had. Meaning I say "thank you". Haha. She giggles and smiles. I am fucking thankful. I guess some of this adds to the complete picture, which obviously you all don't have.

I am 28 years old, never had a girlfriend, and never had pussy until mid Dec of last year. My boss always chides me for not having experienced things like a "real" breakup. I told him about Katie, the girl I took to Costa Rica that fucked the other guy while I was there (also the one who sold me a knife set hahaha). But we were never in a relationship. I thought I loved her, and she dare I say barely tolerated me. He's like dude, you have no idea what it is like to be crushed after being in a relationship with somebody for years and suddenly the other person wants to break it off. He's absolutely right. I have never felt that sort of pain. I also haven't ever felt the sort of joy one has one in a long-term committed relationship. This is the longest time I have dated any woman.

Krsna, I like your post earlier. To expound on it I am going to use an analogy I was thinking of earlier. You always hear about these poor folks who win the lottery and then within a matter of months they squander all of the money away and end up bankrupt, committing suicide, whatever, totally fucked. It actually seems to happen fairly frequently. I'm that guy who won the lottery. Keep up with me here and the analogy. For 28 years I was dirt poor and thus didn't ever learn how to manage money properly. Suddenly, in December I win the god damn lottery. Just out of nowhere, BAM! Holy shit, what the fuck do I do with this money? I have no fucking idea. Never had any previous experiences managing any kind of money, because I never had any. This is completely foreign to me, man. I'm learning through trial and error. If I squander it away, well luckily it's not the end of the world. I just learn a valuable life lesson.

Any fuckin' way, I do like "J", but don't feel ready for a real, committed relationship. For one, I have this deep fear that has only been fueled more by my best friend's story. Since I was about 21, people have been joking/chiding that the first girl I have sex with I'll probably end up marrying. I have fiercely denied this. Then check this out, my best friend was also a virgin until he was 25. Then he found a girl, they fucked, and they got married. He made a huge fucking mistake. She is so incredibally naggy/bitchy/whiney and just no fun at all to be around. Very unattractive in my eyes too. But he loves her. I think the only reason he did it (besides the fact that she is also a scientologist) is because she was the first girl he had sex with. That is not a reason to get married (at least for me).

I don't want to fall into the same trap.

Bottom line. I do have some feelings for "J" and I do care about her feelings, but I have not developed the "goo goo gaa gaa" mentality that I am super attracted to her, or want her to be mine, or whatever those feelings of attraction are. To me, it feels like we're friends, that just happen to fuck. Except now I know that she cares about me a lot. I don't have those same feelings - we're on different levels. I mean even that girl "R" that I went out with a some last year I had huge feelings for. It's weird. She wouldn't give me the time of day and I was incredibally hurt when she didn't call me, etc. and now with "J" I don't have those feelings at all.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #29 on: March 30, 2009, 09:31:17 PM
it happens, end it and move on. I've been in your place (not the 28 year old virgin bit, the dead-end relationship I let drift part) and trust me there's no upside. Eventually the sex will get boring, you'll be so disinterested
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #30 on: March 30, 2009, 09:35:53 PM
Agreed. Time to move on.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #31 on: March 30, 2009, 10:01:56 PM
Bend her over the bathroom counter first.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #32 on: March 30, 2009, 10:14:22 PM
on your way out the door
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #33 on: March 31, 2009, 01:40:42 AM
hahahaha thanks girls. That's the reaction I was looking for.

Umm I did have a follow up that would have made it more obvious that I was just kidding. But that was about ten hours ago and I can't remember the punch line now.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend any of you.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2009, 02:38:52 AM by Tru »
Reality; A shared narrative we all agree to believe.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #34 on: March 31, 2009, 01:46:47 AM
I feel you, Kyle ...
I just think that you're putting the cart before the horse ...
No one, including her, is saying "marry her" ...

I think you're running from something that's NOT necessarily following you through the woods at night ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #35 on: March 31, 2009, 01:52:23 AM
What more do you need than somebody to appreciate your racist jokes?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #36 on: March 31, 2009, 02:12:41 AM
Shut it, niglet ...

heh ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #37 on: March 31, 2009, 03:19:18 AM
What's better than me being me? WEEEEEEE!!!!
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #38 on: March 31, 2009, 03:21:43 AM
Quote from: WhateverJohnny's name is, Profaust, I think
What?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #39 on: March 31, 2009, 04:02:45 AM
What more do you need than somebody to appreciate your racist jokes?

EXACTLY!

I time my best racist comments for when Danni with snort something out of her nose. That's true love.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #40 on: March 31, 2009, 04:19:31 AM
Mosh: I read your posts with an Aussie accent.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #41 on: March 31, 2009, 05:56:34 AM
I read yours with Jack Black's accent
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #42 on: March 31, 2009, 06:10:43 AM
Awesome.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #43 on: March 31, 2009, 10:47:48 AM
I read yours with Jack Black's accent

lol!
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #44 on: March 31, 2009, 02:32:42 PM
I read yours your face-melting posts with Jack Black's accent

School of Rock'd.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #45 on: March 31, 2009, 02:36:04 PM
I lean over and start kissing her. About 5 minutes we were raring to go. My wood trying to burst through my pants and her pussy sopping on my hand. We head from the couch into my room and gently take each other's clothes off. I like the gentle part ... usually we almost tear each other apart. This was more sensual. She heads to the bathroom and grabs a condom, and puts it on. We fuck. and fuck. I love it, actually more than night sex. First time having sex during the daytime. She doesn't bite and I don't smack her ass. It's hot and sensual. She drenches my stomach, groin and bed. I feel wet all on the sides of me. She laughs because my belly-button is filled with her cum. A reservoir of female juice. While she's on top, I get right on the verge of nutting and she moves positions and I lose it. FUCK!!
He walks into the bathroom, comes up behind me and whispers some very sweet nothings in my ear. Kisses me hard and after a few minutes of pawing and making out, I end up bent forward over the marble countertop, holding the edge for support, and he lifted my skirt and pulled my panties down to my knees and fucked me so soooo good, right there. It's great with the mirror in front of you like that. Every bounce, every thrust, catching eachothers eye here and there, watching yourself fuck or be fucked. Super hot. We were late for our reservation.
It's funny what detail people go into recounting their bodily functions when it comes to sex. It's only sex though. Nobody explains how they positioned their legs for this super large shit the other day or exactly how they ate a delicious slice of cheesecake. I mean it's just weird. Like why would any reader be any more interested in the fact that kyle's bellybutton was filed with a love-puddle or that katie was holding the edge of the countertop for support than they would be if I shared the fact that I wash my chest before my back in the shower or that I sleep on my stomach facing right.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #46 on: March 31, 2009, 02:54:09 PM
Ever since I broke my collarbone, I seem to have lost the ability to sleep comfortably on my stomach. I only ever sleep on my back or on my side now.

And I tend to go face, hair, shoulders/arms, chest/stomach, back, armpits, crotch, legs, feet, ass when I shower.

ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #47 on: March 31, 2009, 03:08:21 PM
Right now I am sitting in a chair at my desk, slightly hunched over (I have bad posture), right hand on mouse, left hand typing, right leg crossed over left leg. Firmly grasping onto the desk as my coworker rams... just kidding.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #48 on: March 31, 2009, 03:25:27 PM
I welcome sex details with any of the girls.......not baggy though.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #49 on: March 31, 2009, 04:14:08 PM
Mosh: I read your posts with an Aussie accent.

I still hear yours as Cartman from time to time ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #50 on: March 31, 2009, 04:22:53 PM
Right now I am sitting in a chair at my desk, slightly hunched over (I have bad posture), right hand on mouse, left hand typing, right leg crossed over left leg. Firmly grasping onto the desk as my coworker rams...

that was awesome!
for a second, i pictured your co-worker that talks to herself in that situation.  :P
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #51 on: March 31, 2009, 04:34:43 PM
And I tend to go face, hair, shoulders/arms, chest/stomach, back, armpits, crotch, legs, feet, ass when I shower.

When I first get into the shower in the mornings, I left to water run over my body.  Usually it's pretty hot water, and so it warms up my toes and fingers as I make sure that at least I'm all wet before I get soaped up.

Then, I take a small dollop of shampoo - usually no bigger than the space between my life line & love line - and rub it into my hair, starting from the front and working the suds back.  With the excess shampoo suds, I normally do a quick scrub under the arms, and then wash the soap off my hands and armpits.

Following that, I left the shampoo "soak" on my hair, and i begin scrubbing with body soap.  I think I start with my left shoulder, go down the arm, back around to cross the chest and belly, and then up to the right shoulder and down the arm.

By this point, the left side has already been patially rinsed, so I put down the soap, do some upper body scrubbing, and then proceed to rinse out my shampoo as well as all of the upper body soap.  Every few days, I'll do a lower body soaping too; it's just very hard for a tall guy to suds his own legs.

After my shower, I pick up my towel and dry my hair first.  I proceed from there down the neck, down the left shoulder and arm, then the right shoulder and arm.  From this point, it's generally an exercise in removing water from top to bottom on my body, so that there is no part with drips on it once I'm done.

Doorm, I think the reason no one describes things to this level of detail for normal things is because no one wants to try to emulate the way you wash and dry yourself.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #52 on: March 31, 2009, 04:59:55 PM
I lean over and start kissing her. About 5 minutes we were raring to go. My wood trying to burst through my pants and her pussy sopping on my hand. We head from the couch into my room and gently take each other's clothes off. I like the gentle part ... usually we almost tear each other apart. This was more sensual. She heads to the bathroom and grabs a condom, and puts it on. We fuck. and fuck. I love it, actually more than night sex. First time having sex during the daytime. She doesn't bite and I don't smack her ass. It's hot and sensual. She drenches my stomach, groin and bed. I feel wet all on the sides of me. She laughs because my belly-button is filled with her cum. A reservoir of female juice. While she's on top, I get right on the verge of nutting and she moves positions and I lose it. FUCK!!
He walks into the bathroom, comes up behind me and whispers some very sweet nothings in my ear. Kisses me hard and after a few minutes of pawing and making out, I end up bent forward over the marble countertop, holding the edge for support, and he lifted my skirt and pulled my panties down to my knees and fucked me so soooo good, right there. It's great with the mirror in front of you like that. Every bounce, every thrust, catching eachothers eye here and there, watching yourself fuck or be fucked. Super hot. We were late for our reservation.
It's funny what detail people go into recounting their bodily functions when it comes to sex. It's only sex though. Nobody explains how they positioned their legs for this super large shit the other day or exactly how they ate a delicious slice of cheesecake. I mean it's just weird. Like why would any reader be any more interested in the fact that kyle's bellybutton was filed with a love-puddle or that katie was holding the edge of the countertop for support than they would be if I shared the fact that I wash my chest before my back in the shower or that I sleep on my stomach facing right.

i guess you missed katie's post about eating peanut butter.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #53 on: March 31, 2009, 05:01:11 PM
When I first get into the shower in the mornings, I left to water run over my body.  Usually it's pretty hot water, and so it warms up my toes and fingers as I make sure that at least I'm all wet before I get soaped up.

Then, I take a small dollop of shampoo - usually no bigger than the space between my life line & love line - and rub it into my hair, starting from the front and working the suds back.  With the excess shampoo suds, I normally do a quick scrub under the arms, and then wash the soap off my hands and armpits.

Following that, I left the shampoo "soak" on my hair, and i begin scrubbing with body soap.  I think I start with my left shoulder, go down the arm, back around to cross the chest and belly, and then up to the right shoulder and down the arm.

By this point, the left side has already been patially rinsed, so I put down the soap, do some upper body scrubbing, and then proceed to rinse out my shampoo as well as all of the upper body soap.  Every few days, I'll do a lower body soaping too; it's just very hard for a tall guy to suds his own legs.

After my shower, I pick up my towel and dry my hair first.  I proceed from there down the neck, down the left shoulder and arm, then the right shoulder and arm.  From this point, it's generally an exercise in removing water from top to bottom on my body, so that there is no part with drips on it once I'm done.


I don't understand. Can you take some pictures to help me get a clearer understanding of this process?
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #54 on: March 31, 2009, 05:06:47 PM
maybe a "How To" video on youtube?
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #55 on: March 31, 2009, 05:30:58 PM
Even better!
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #56 on: March 31, 2009, 06:01:25 PM
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #57 on: March 31, 2009, 07:05:55 PM
 When the water has reached the appropriate temperature, I step into the shower. Closing my eyes I let the heat wash over me until I no longer feel it burn. I spend the next fifteen minutes slowly dragging a razor across my scalp, "with the grain" as they say, until not a hair stands upon my head. I proceed to lather my muscular, somewhat hirsute body, beginning with my hard chest and shoulders, working my way across my broad back, and down my sinewy, lightly scarred, and somewhat tattooed arms. This done I proceed to scrub vigorously, harshly, with a roughly-textured wash cloth. I go through a similar process for my lean abdomen and powerful legs and buttocks. At last I lather my generative organs, and on a juvenile lark twist my hips back and forth rapidly. The slapping sound of my manhood swinging back and forth against my own pelvis as soap suds are flung everywhere amuses me on a primitive level. Rinsing off, my ablution is all but complete. Last, but certainly not least, I slam my face, with eyes wide open against a blanks spot on the shower wall. Letting my left hand catch the resulting blood flow, I use my right index finger to add another figure to my on going recreation of the Bayeux Tapestry. One day I shall reveal to Christie what real art is, and take his fraudulent empire right out of his soft and complacent hands.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #58 on: March 31, 2009, 07:31:47 PM
That was sort of Easton Ellis-esque.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #59 on: March 31, 2009, 07:35:21 PM
Don't go murderin' anyone now, balor.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #60 on: March 31, 2009, 07:47:57 PM
I slam my face, with eyes wide open against a blanks spot on the shower wall. Letting my left hand catch the resulting blood flow, I use my right index finger to add another figure to my on going recreation of the Bayeux Tapestry.

The way I picture this, you keep holding your head against the wall while the blood continues to drip into your left hand.  You're drawing your recreation out of the corner of your eye.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #61 on: March 31, 2009, 10:51:44 PM
i think having sex with balor would top the list of "most anxiety inducing things i've ever done"
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #62 on: April 01, 2009, 01:45:24 AM



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #63 on: April 01, 2009, 02:04:00 AM
Target acquired:

http://austin.craigslist.org/w4m/1098395942.html

I like how in each picture you get to see one of her distinct schizophrenic personalities.
Pour the wine, hold the grind, quarter to nine, let's go.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #64 on: April 01, 2009, 04:56:37 AM
Dusk had settled over the parking lot, and we were there to witness it - as always - on the weekends. These were the halcyon days of youth, wherein most were spent washing and re-washing the vintage '76 Chevy step-bed before squandering the remainder guzzling down rotgut whiskey in paper sacks in the lot. Sometimes we would catcall the summer girls, tan and supple and always in groups of threes in their compact cars, as they whizzed down the cruise route.

It was always the same: The girl behind the wheel was the hell-bent one, young and wild and never sure what would win out that evening; the piss or the vinegar. Ponytailed, they delighted in torturing the letter jacket crowd, whispering promises of finishing the job their hands began until they gauged the length of the issue before laughing and heading off to the next "conquest," never following through on their oaths.

The passenger was always the best friend, shyer than her companion but not as plain in appearance. Occasionally, faint glittering would appear from the King James cross that always adorned their necks, proof - in the old standard before trinkets like purity rings and Jesus bracelets - that their parents never had to worry about her giving up her virtue to the ugly wolves that pranced and waged make-believe combat with their companions, all in hopes of winning that elusive pound of flesh from some starry-eyed young thing with more desire than sense. She wore a little rouge, but never for concealment, which was the main reason her friend often wore collared shirts. Raven-haired, slightly freckled, she had no idea how much upheaval her world was in store for upon her moving away to attend some mid-level state college, and her first cup of frothy beer handed to her by some scoundrel in his backwards hat.

And finally, always riding the pine in the backseat, the anchor. The one who attempted to compensate for her girth by being loud and obnoxious. You could often hear her from our vantage point, laughing in a squeal and shouting louder than the radio, which always seemed to be blasting one Eagles song after another. She shopped at the same boutiques as her friends, but the world of skirts and halter tops was forever out of reach, so she opted for dark jeans and long-sleeved shirts, sometimes with a vest, all in some vain attempt to break up her outline like some sort of hormonal ghillie suit. Never realizing she was the "escape route," she tried to act like the driver, much to everyone's dismay.

It was their tenth or so lap when my friend Dave, a deviant who was training to become a coroner, retrieved a plush cat doll from the morass of his backseat and chucked it in their window as they sped past. Peals of playful screams rang out as the car squalled to a halt in the lot. The car gave a series of lurches as they leaped out, a small shudder to the left, followed by a similar one to the right, followed by large ones as the anchor attempted to extricate herself from her prison in the backseat.

The driver's smile melted away at the sight of her attackers, not the idiot boys in their rusted street cars but something else entirely, and slowly descended into a defensive smirk. "What the hell? You tryin to make me wreck?" dripped from her lips, already bored with the situation and scanning the horizon for a fresh kill.

"I don't think you have any problem slowing down," Dave replied, his gaze settling on the rear of the car, as with Herculean effort it finally regurgitated its final passenger.

"Besides, it's never bad to have more pussy."

Like a coliseum combatant realizing the lion was closing in, the driver tried to hatch a scheme to leave in the fastest manner possible while saving face. Their conversation was lost to me, though, as I busied myself with her friend. She never enjoyed the candy story machismo that her friend relished, and her guard actually seemed to lower here rather than increase.

"Hello, Kim," I said as she fidgeted with her necklace. Her eyes would drift to the ground as we made small talk. Eventually the anchor, fed up with being ignored, played her trump card. "I have to go home soon," she repeated, her voice sharp as the creases the straps on her flats dug into her feet. The driver pretended to roll her eyes in annoyance, saved by the bell around the anchor's neck.

"Guess we gotta go," she said, getting no satisfaction from Dave's bumbling attempts at innuendo.

"Let's go, Kim."

Kim shot me a glance. It was obvious she wanted to be freed from her role for a few hours, so I obliged. "Want to do a few laps around town?" I asked her. The driver, horrified at the prospect of having to spend time alone with the anchor, protested. "C'moooooooon," she pleaded, her veneer cracking for the first time. Kim was having none of it though, and agreed to join me.

As we crawled through town, we talked about the future. I'd always been one of those people guidance counselors wrote "has potential, but won't use it" about in their notes. I managed to squeak my way into the main state college, and she was headed to it's sister college, referred to as "Little Blue" for the student's loyalty to the larger institution. She was going to be a physician's assistant, I was going to be me. She was two weeks out of a relationship, one she was doomed to repeat at college until she finally outgrew the poor sod. I felt pity for her realizing that so much of her life revolved around the guy that she had scarce else to talk about.

"So, what are you looking for now?" I asked.

"A little closure, I guess."

"Closure's my specialty," I replied.

"Is that right?" she laughed.

"Well, that and bullshitting," I said, as I watched the needle on my gauge slowly climb into the red. When my father gave me the truck, he forgot to mention the temperature gauge on the engine had snapped off, which caused the thermostat to close, which caused my truck to overheat in the warmer months. To my surprise, she agreed to my feigned offhand suggestion to head out of town for a little while. I parked the truck on top of the hill overlooking our strip-mine of a town. Neither of us belonged there, but only one of us was destined to leave and stay gone.

Steve Earle and The Dukes quietly played on the radio as we talked about her ambitions, The Saviour occasionally glinting in the moonlight as if concerned about where all of this might be headed.

"You aren't really like those guys you hang out with," Kim said. "Why are you with them all of the time?"

I told her the truth. "They never ask me for anything."

She looked at me with something I took for envy. "I wish I had friends like that," she said.

"You will," I lied.

"I need a new start," she sighed. "A clean break."

"That's my specialty," I joked.

"Bullshit," she laughed.

At that moment, I leaned in and slid my hand up the side of her neck and kissed her still laughing lips. Startled, her gaze deepened, and the cross around her neck could not compete with the emerald glinting of her eyes. She grabbed the lapels of my jacket and pressed hard against me. I leaned into her, and we slowly lowered to the hard wooden planks that lined the bed of my truck.



Then I got all up in them guts.
Skybox, right up here in section La-Di-Dah.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #65 on: April 01, 2009, 05:34:20 AM
If that had a few more anuses, I'd have said Eddo wrote that
« Last Edit: April 01, 2009, 05:34:37 AM by Mosh »



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #66 on: April 01, 2009, 09:09:34 AM
It's funny what detail people go into recounting their bodily functions when it comes to sex. It's only sex though.

I read some non-SF Ray Bradbury short stories last night before bed, and I thought of this.  Bradbury - a good author in my opinion - did exactly what you said no one else does.

So, maybe it's just non-professional authors that only describe sex in detail!
« Last Edit: April 01, 2009, 09:09:55 AM by eitje »
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #67 on: April 01, 2009, 09:15:31 AM
Then I got all up in them guts. jizzed in my pants.

Good story, dude!
« Last Edit: April 01, 2009, 09:15:52 AM by eitje »
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #68 on: April 01, 2009, 09:48:04 AM
So, maybe it's just non-professional authors that only describe sex in detail!

Yeah of course. Just normal people. Didn't Whitman do a whole ode to the body in Leaves of Grass?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #69 on: April 01, 2009, 01:56:56 PM
Then I got all up in them guts. jizzed in my pants.

Good story, dude!

Oh my god-- lucas, that was hilarious.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #70 on: April 01, 2009, 02:22:45 PM
Don't go murderin' anyone now, balor.

Why not; he apparently knows how to wash the evidence away ...

Quote
It was their tenth or so lap when my friend Dave, a deviant who was training to become a coroner, retrieved a plush cat doll from the morass of his backseat and chucked it in their window as they sped past. Peals of playful screams rang out as the car squalled to a halt in the lot. The car gave a series of lurches as they leaped out, a small shudder to the left, followed by a similar one to the right, followed by large ones as the anchor attempted to extricate herself from her prison in the backseat.

It's like I was there ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #71 on: April 01, 2009, 02:32:49 PM
Target acquired:

http://austin.craigslist.org/w4m/1098395942.html

You know, SHE looks like you could talk her into anal ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #72 on: April 01, 2009, 02:47:07 PM
Then I got all up in them guts. jizzed in my pants.

Good story, dude!

Oh my god-- lucas, that was hilarious.

Skybox, right up here in section La-Di-Dah.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #73 on: April 01, 2009, 02:59:02 PM
oh don't be like that



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #74 on: April 01, 2009, 03:15:44 PM
But you missed the point!
Skybox, right up here in section La-Di-Dah.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #75 on: April 01, 2009, 03:50:48 PM
You may think I did. Either way, I laughed at Lucas' post, which was MY point.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #76 on: April 01, 2009, 05:07:04 PM
I don't think, I KNOW!
Skybox, right up here in section La-Di-Dah.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #77 on: April 01, 2009, 05:45:24 PM
Gaping Void!
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #78 on: April 01, 2009, 11:14:59 PM
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #79 on: April 02, 2009, 03:25:23 AM
It's not illegal in ALL of the 50 states ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #80 on: April 02, 2009, 06:11:42 AM
No, everythings legal in Alaska.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #81 on: April 02, 2009, 10:20:18 AM
That's how they get people to live there.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #82 on: April 02, 2009, 06:10:36 PM
It's really the only egde ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #83 on: April 02, 2009, 08:48:23 PM
It's really the only egde ...

That, and being the furthest away from Florida you can get without having to swim.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #84 on: April 03, 2009, 05:06:18 AM


"I'd like to take you to my apartment, lay you down in cold bath water, and fuck you like a dead body."  That was some guys pick up line to me once.

Wtf Kyle.  Why are you into girls that look like jap anime characters?

Wow.  The Austin personals are so sad.
http://austin.craigslist.org/m4w/1104713266.html




Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #85 on: April 03, 2009, 05:49:06 AM
This guys kind of cute, I'm going to write him. 

http://austin.craigslist.org/m4w/1103609285.html

I'm also going to put up a personal ad for kyle to see who replies.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2009, 05:59:48 AM by 13chemicals »



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #86 on: April 03, 2009, 06:15:53 AM



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #87 on: April 03, 2009, 06:56:19 AM
You should have transcribed the entire "hello my future girlfriend..." and put his picture up...
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #88 on: April 03, 2009, 07:26:17 AM
« Last Edit: April 03, 2009, 07:31:38 AM by Drugmoth »
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #89 on: April 03, 2009, 08:34:20 AM
"I'd like to take you to my apartment, lay you down in cold bath water, and fuck you like a dead body."  That was some guys pick up line to me once.

HEY, WHAT GIVES?

Do I go around telling people things you've said to me?!!?!
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #90 on: April 03, 2009, 03:40:57 PM
Nice ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #91 on: April 03, 2009, 07:44:25 PM
I am disappointed in your creativeness, Sash.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #92 on: April 03, 2009, 07:45:54 PM
I just got off to the original post in this thread. OMG it was awesome.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #93 on: April 03, 2009, 08:17:44 PM
I just got off to the original post in this thread. OMG it was awesome.

which part was your favorite?
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #94 on: April 03, 2009, 08:27:29 PM
This time I don't tell her to get on until like literally 2 seconds until am I about to blow. Like a panther, she quickly slinks on top of my cock and bounces, once or twice. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!! Her pussy milks my cock dry. That was the longest orgasm I have ever had - probably 20 seconds or something. It was fantastic. I really liked how she sternly was saying "Cum Kyle. Cum" while she was bouncing. Yeow.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #95 on: April 03, 2009, 08:33:05 PM
Well, I was about to walk out my door to go grab some food. But, I can honestly say I don't think my neighbors would be as delighted as tricky would be when introduced to my now, raging erection. (Thanks tricky.)

Dammit, I am hungry.

 



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #96 on: April 03, 2009, 08:38:00 PM
I wish I were your neighbor!
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #97 on: April 03, 2009, 10:16:17 PM
I was trying to be nice on the C-L thing.  You have gotten two responses.
1)
Hi there, I just read your Craigslist ad, you sound great, would you
be interested in a married woman ;) lol


------------------------------------------------------------------
this message was remailed to you via: pers-jndfz-1104900928@craigslist.org

2)HI :) Just found your posting in personals.. experimenting with this
to see how it works.. I will wait for u to email me back :)  I can
send a zip of some of my best pictures if u want.. IM female
blonde/good-looking/funny/curious!!


------------------------------------------------------------------
this message was remailed to you via: pers-jndfz-1104900928@craigslist.org



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #98 on: April 03, 2009, 10:18:21 PM
The guy who I wrote doesn't think I'm a real person...... burn?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #99 on: April 03, 2009, 10:20:58 PM
oh yeah, burn.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #100 on: April 03, 2009, 10:23:01 PM
 He looks kind of like a guy I beat up outside of a bar once.

 You don't want to date a guy who gets beat up outside of bars, do you?
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #101 on: April 03, 2009, 10:33:12 PM
I was trying to be nice on the C-L thing.  You have gotten two responses.
1)
Hi there, I just read your Craigslist ad, you sound great, would you
be interested in a married woman ;) lol


------------------------------------------------------------------
this message was remailed to you via: pers-jndfz-1104900928@craigslist.org

2)HI :) Just found your posting in personals.. experimenting with this
to see how it works.. I will wait for u to email me back :)  I can
send a zip of some of my best pictures if u want.. IM female
blonde/good-looking/funny/curious!!


------------------------------------------------------------------
this message was remailed to you via: pers-jndfz-1104900928@craigslist.org

Huh, no shit - two replies? With a simple little generic ad like that? Jesus Christ.

I mean you didn't even have to put in the fact that I have a car, my own place, and a job; it seems like 80 - 90% of the women on W4M have their standards so low, that that is all they ask for in a man.

Those replies are probably spam anyway.

Also, thanks for playing matchmaker.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #102 on: April 03, 2009, 10:37:01 PM
oh yeah, burn.

Actually no. It's nearly impossible to find an actual, real woman on the C-L. The spam is ridiculous.

Don't take it personally. The new thing in ads is to say something that a spambot wouldn't know. Like the temperature/weather/something that happened in the news today, etc.

I'm a pro at this shit. 15+ dates, with probably 10+ women last year.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #103 on: April 03, 2009, 10:37:11 PM
80 - 90% of the women on W4M have their standards so low

Well then they're perfect for you!
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #104 on: April 03, 2009, 10:49:26 PM
Yeah, I usually go icognito when replying to ads and don't really give out a lot of details at first. Girls like mystery, so I've heard - finding things out on their own. Only later do I piecemeal out facts like I work at a law firm, own a condo, am capable and responsible enough to take care of two cats, two plants and some brine shrimp (obviously animal lovers make them swoon hard), have enough dough to not have to worry about things, have tattoos, not tell them I am a virgin until a couple of months after we've been having sex already, ya know. I know I have a lot of things going for me, but I want them to find that out... in their own little ways.

I always love picking up a girl for the first time in the RX-8 hehe. (when the engine is fucking running) I just want to see their expression... I can pretty clearly tell a gold digger. From past experiences. Katie. Costa Rica. $thousands thrown to the wind.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2009, 02:13:45 AM by bagman »



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #105 on: April 03, 2009, 10:57:37 PM
http://austin.craigslist.org/cas/1106021805.html

In case it's flagged here it is:

Quote
Real Men Only apply - w4m - 26 (South Central)
Reply to: pers-79rej-1106021805@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-03, 6:33PM CDT


Hey guy's it's friday night and I've got nothing to do looking to suck some white cock through my gloryhole i am a big girl and we need lovin to it was a pretty day outside here in austin never sucked a white dick until last week and now i want more clean men need only apply emails without pic's = deleted

    * Location: South Central
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests





Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #106 on: April 03, 2009, 11:04:48 PM
Nice!
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #107 on: April 04, 2009, 02:17:02 AM
« Last Edit: April 04, 2009, 02:21:49 AM by bagman »



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #108 on: April 04, 2009, 03:24:40 AM
I can't read more than the first sentence or two of personal before I get bored.  That guy above btw is a sad beyond repair.  You got a couple more responses.  I finally got one with a picture....




Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #109 on: April 04, 2009, 03:42:47 AM
Quote from: 13chemicals link=topic=246.msg9638#msg9638
http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&ik=0249eccb47&view=att&th=1206f790e7f8e7e7&attid=0.1&disp=inline&zw

that's in your mail or something.  you need to post it somewhere else for us to see!
« Last Edit: April 04, 2009, 03:43:07 AM by eitje »
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #110 on: April 04, 2009, 04:45:27 AM
I wish I were your neighbor!




Meanwhile; so, you told her she was your first?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #111 on: April 04, 2009, 07:53:49 AM
gaddammit, kyle, sasha is gay now.

GAAAAAAAY.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #112 on: April 04, 2009, 12:59:03 PM
I'm a pro at this shit. 15+ dates, with probably 10+ women last year.

15+ dates, 10+ women, 0+ sex
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #113 on: April 04, 2009, 01:14:42 PM
10 + hotness
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #114 on: April 04, 2009, 04:58:01 PM
Quote
Meanwhile; so, you told her she was your first?

I did.

From http://thrashinc.com/e107_plugins/forum/forum_viewtopic.php?144330.140,

Quote
Today at the office I got a verbal beat-down by my boss and co-worker. I told them about barebacking and they were fucking pissed, and scared me into absolute submission. My boss told me a couple of weeks ago I better watch out because pussy makes dude's do stupid shit. Honestly, I didn't even think about the STD factor when she took the rubber off and we barebacked. Not nutting inside her was definitely on my mind, but my boss says pre-cum can actually get a chick pregnant too.

Anyway I was literally trembling after both of them karate- chopped me a new asshole with words. So I decided I HAD to have a conversation about this with her, TO-FUCKING-DAY.

So I asked her what she as doing for lunch, but she had a meeting. So I texted "Got some questions on my mind. I don't think it's smart to have unprotected sex w/out knowing more about each other. Kinda late in the game, but it wasn't really on my mind before. You have nothing to worry about, but I want to make sure I don't either."

Anyway I called her a bit ago and we had an adult discussion on the topic. I started it off telling her, "I meant it when I said you have nothing to worry about from me. You're the first girl I've had sex with." Yes, she now knows.

She basically was as chill and as matter-of-fact as I was when I told her and said "Oh, okay." She understood then why I am worried about the whole STD thing (and potential pregnancy issues) and immediately said that if we are going to continue to have sex, she'll go to the doctor and get tested for EVERYTHING. She says she has gotten tested in the past for the general things that the doctor can test you for, and she came out clean then and she takes Guardasil so there's no worry of HPV. (warts I guess) She also said she started her period two days ago so no worries about a fucking kiddo from any pre-cum.

Thursday night she's going to cook me dinner, and we'll see what happens - she may still be on her period.

Mello - in the past haven't you talked about period sex extensively? I think it was in my "classic" thread about the blanket I loaned the girl and she bled all over. Ew. Menstruation makes my stomach churn and burn.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #115 on: April 04, 2009, 06:35:36 PM
0/10 on Craigslist?

I don't think most guys could manage that if they were trying to not have sex.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #116 on: April 04, 2009, 08:13:37 PM
Sasha. Your dream dude.

Quote
Looking for Ms. Geek - 26 (North Austin)
Reply to: pers-pek4h-1106079221@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-04, 8:35AM CDT


This is a first for me so here goes. Im not a very outgoing so I dont get out much, and Im not good at just talking to people on the street. I enjoy games (video, pool, bowling, mini-golf), movies, books, and music. As I said im not very outgoing but Im game for what anyone else wants to do. Im considerate and Honest to a fault. Once I get to know someone and get to be friends then I can get to be pretty goofy.

Looking for a gal who enjoys some of the things I do, Dungeons and Dragons, Warhammer, Playing video games, and whatever you like to do. Geek stuff pretty much. In the end I would like to find Ms. The-One but im not holding my breath, Id actually be happy just finding another friend. Preferable from the 18-30 range

Reply if you want more detailed info.

    * Location: North Austin
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests




Somebody should make a thread with funny/lame/sick Craigslist postings.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #117 on: April 04, 2009, 08:34:58 PM
I thought we just did ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #118 on: April 04, 2009, 08:47:16 PM
Hahaha yes!
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #119 on: April 04, 2009, 09:01:40 PM
You know what, he'll get laid more often than baggy.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #120 on: April 04, 2009, 09:03:26 PM
Well, maybe this week ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #121 on: April 04, 2009, 09:16:40 PM
Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #122 on: April 04, 2009, 09:27:04 PM
I think this one's just looking for someone who won't beat her anymore ...

Quote
Hi :) I find it tricky to write these things. A few things you may (or may not) find interesting about me: I love to travel. My dog is one of my best friends. I am independent. I enjoy road trips, live music and good company. My family means the world to me. I am frugal. I'm not a good driver. I hate fast food. Dr Pepper is my favorite drink. I love to sing (but can't very well). I know a few words to every song but I don't know all the lyrics to one song. I memorize useless facts. I like to read. I remember dates. I pretty much remember everything. I hate to be mean but feel that sometimes it is necessary. I believe that you should forgive and forget. I will talk to anyone about anything. I clean a lot. Some would call me a neat freak. I can't spell. I want to learn to speak another language. I love to get mail and e-mail. I have never broken a bone and I've only had stitches twice, if you want I will show you my scars. If you would like to know more email me.

BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #123 on: April 04, 2009, 09:36:07 PM
Is that a tranny?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #124 on: April 04, 2009, 09:44:15 PM
I don't know ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #125 on: April 04, 2009, 10:07:03 PM
That's how they getcha...



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #126 on: April 04, 2009, 10:08:25 PM
Hmm, let's ask the expert ...

Hey, krapsna ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #127 on: April 04, 2009, 10:12:43 PM
That's a dude.

Damnit, where's Mosh to grab some suspected tranny packaged when you need confirmation?
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #128 on: April 04, 2009, 10:19:08 PM
Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

So, you're Bloodninja?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #129 on: April 04, 2009, 10:42:01 PM
That's a dude.

Damnit, where's Mosh to grab some suspected tranny packaged when you need confirmation?

I woulda asked him next, or, if you weren't around ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #130 on: April 04, 2009, 10:45:35 PM
I'd do it too... theres only one sure...



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #131 on: April 04, 2009, 11:36:42 PM
Awesome.

Quote
Rape Fantasy - w4m - 45 (North Austin)
Reply to: pers-rmxat-1107643796@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
Date: 2009-04-04, 10:02PM CDT


Would love for a perfect stranger to waltz into my unlocked house tonight and have their way with me...if I like your pic you will be the one to get my address! Can't wait to feel you inside of me!!

    * Location: North Austin
    * it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #132 on: April 04, 2009, 11:39:13 PM
And she's only 45 years old.

You go girl!



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #133 on: April 04, 2009, 11:44:24 PM
Hmmmm ....
I'd be weary of that one ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #134 on: April 04, 2009, 11:48:11 PM
that would be a good way to get revenge on someone you don't like.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #135 on: April 04, 2009, 11:59:42 PM
Sorry the pic link didn't work.  The girl who sent me her pic looked just like "J", that's the only reason I posted it, I thought it was funny because it was ironic! Nar-Nar



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #136 on: April 05, 2009, 12:03:05 AM
Just give us a link to the personal itself ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #137 on: April 05, 2009, 12:15:41 AM
Hmmmm ....
I'd be weary of that one ...

Yeah. me too, after I'd "raped" her 4 or 5 times.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #138 on: April 05, 2009, 12:18:35 AM
Do it with a tazer ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #139 on: April 05, 2009, 12:19:14 AM
Pfft... gotta be more rural... cattleprod.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #140 on: April 05, 2009, 12:21:44 AM
Yeah. me too, after I'd "raped" her 4 or 5 times.

And that's just the foreplay. Zing!
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #141 on: April 05, 2009, 12:22:38 AM
Foreplay?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #142 on: April 05, 2009, 12:24:33 AM
What's that, Ian?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #143 on: April 05, 2009, 12:28:00 AM
Dunno... some new age concept wank thing I think...



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #144 on: April 05, 2009, 12:29:50 AM
So, it's when I swing my balls into the fan when I'm getting that thing called a "blowjob"?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #145 on: April 05, 2009, 12:30:57 AM
So, it's when I swing my balls into the fan when I'm getting that thing called a "blowjob"?

no, i think that's called castration.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #146 on: April 05, 2009, 12:31:09 AM
Just fuck already, you two. And videotape it and post it here.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #147 on: April 05, 2009, 12:32:55 AM
You two above first ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #148 on: April 05, 2009, 12:34:14 AM
or all four of us together!



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #149 on: April 05, 2009, 12:34:41 AM
But Sarah and I don't have faggy sexual tension like you two. So that wouldn't make as much sense.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #150 on: April 05, 2009, 12:35:43 AM
But Sarah and I don't have faggy sexual tension like you two. So that wouldn't make as much sense.

well, i suppose that depends on who you ask.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #151 on: April 05, 2009, 12:37:50 AM
HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA ....

PWNED!!!
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #152 on: April 05, 2009, 12:41:13 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #153 on: April 05, 2009, 12:41:40 AM
I don't get it.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #154 on: April 05, 2009, 12:42:04 AM
I'm crying here, I'm laughing so hard!
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #155 on: April 05, 2009, 12:43:38 AM
yeah, i think i'm missing something too. oh well!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

(what)
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #156 on: April 05, 2009, 12:44:14 AM
QUOTED!
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #157 on: April 05, 2009, 01:04:57 AM
But Sarah and I don't have faggy sexual tension like you two. So that wouldn't make as much sense.

10,000th post!



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #158 on: April 05, 2009, 01:35:59 AM
W3rd ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #159 on: April 05, 2009, 01:37:05 AM
yeah, i think i'm missing something too. oh well!

HAHAHAHAHAHA

(what)

OMFG LOL ROFL !?!!!!!!111111111111111111111122222222222222222222222222221111111111212!

(what?)



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #160 on: April 05, 2009, 03:56:24 AM
LMFAo.

« Last Edit: April 05, 2009, 04:05:21 AM by bagman »



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #161 on: April 05, 2009, 12:12:22 PM
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #162 on: April 05, 2009, 12:19:34 PM
That is fucking sick.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #163 on: April 05, 2009, 12:20:58 PM
It's a lol picture, that means it's cute.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #164 on: April 05, 2009, 12:44:08 PM
Hahahah, SOOOOO CUTE!!!
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #165 on: April 05, 2009, 12:47:28 PM
hahaha LOL that's awesome! awww he is so cute! is that your dog??

(i mean none of this, except when I asked if it's your dog,
and what I meant was 'is that your cock')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #166 on: April 05, 2009, 12:50:54 PM
That is not cute OR awesome! What is wrong with you people?
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #167 on: April 05, 2009, 12:55:36 PM
Sadly it's not my dog, I just found the picture online  :'(
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #168 on: April 05, 2009, 01:00:19 PM
hahaha LOL that's awesome! awww he is so cute! is that your dog??

(i mean none of this, except when I asked if it's your dog,
and what I meant was 'is that your cock')

You've already seen my cock, can't you tell if that's it or not?
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #169 on: April 05, 2009, 01:02:15 PM
hahaha LOL that's awesome! awww he is so cute! is that your dog??

(i mean none of this, except when I asked if it's your dog,
and what I meant was 'is that your cock')

You've already seen my cock, can't you tell if that's it or not?

When you've seen so many, they all kind of blur together...?
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #170 on: April 05, 2009, 01:27:38 PM
Wow, how many have you seen(/gobbled)?
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #171 on: April 05, 2009, 02:21:33 PM
Wow, how many have you seen(/gobbled)?

This isn't a competition, Danzig, it's a burn on katie.  hoor!  :)

PS - you can still compete with her if you'd like, though.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #172 on: April 05, 2009, 06:50:17 PM
I doubt I'd ever win even if I wanted to.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #173 on: April 05, 2009, 09:02:05 PM
p.s to all the haters: i've only seen 7 penises up close and personal



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #174 on: April 05, 2009, 09:06:54 PM
Yeah cuz you're usually bent over a propane tank behind the gas station.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #175 on: April 05, 2009, 09:58:49 PM
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #176 on: April 06, 2009, 02:36:51 AM
"I'll tell you hwhat!"
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #177 on: April 06, 2009, 09:26:27 AM
It's not Katie's fault she doesn't recognize it. I dosed her with ruphies.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #178 on: April 06, 2009, 09:38:54 AM
p.s to all the haters: i've only seen 7 penises up close and personal

In a row?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #179 on: April 06, 2009, 09:49:30 AM
7 penises... stop lying. You saw at least 100 of them in that gangbang video you were in. Or were your eyes glued shut from all the bukkake?
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #180 on: April 06, 2009, 03:55:36 PM
Try not to suck any dick on the way out to the parking lot!
Pour the wine, hold the grind, quarter to nine, let's go.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #181 on: April 06, 2009, 05:19:54 PM
Clerks; the best reference for ANYTHING - EVER!
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #182 on: April 06, 2009, 05:44:57 PM
Clerks; The best reference for movies that suck.
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #183 on: April 07, 2009, 12:06:43 AM
clerks - hard to swallow for those who don't understand NJ



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #184 on: April 07, 2009, 12:45:01 AM
I love Clerks ...
I even have the 6 episodes of the cartoon ....

BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #185 on: April 07, 2009, 12:48:19 AM
yeah the cartoon's not bad



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #186 on: April 07, 2009, 01:47:05 AM
Quote
seen 7 penises

There are so many ways around that loophole
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #187 on: April 07, 2009, 01:55:44 AM
From our standpoint or ours?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #188 on: April 07, 2009, 06:01:35 PM
Or ours, even.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #189 on: April 08, 2009, 02:41:16 AM
Yeah, where was I going with that?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #190 on: April 08, 2009, 09:34:07 AM
From your standpoint or yours?
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #191 on: April 08, 2009, 06:57:04 PM
*head pops*
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')