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Quote from: Thrash
Meanwhile, here's a little something about giraffes;
If you're having a great time, you're having a hoot, if it's a really, really good time it's possible that you can have two hoots, or, a duahoot ... Most of the time the most you'll get after a hoot is a hoot and a half, which, most should know, is called a "giraffe", so, if you're slightly beyond a hoot, yet not quite to a duahoot, you, my friend, are a giraffe!
... it makes sense, right?


Fucking on the bathroom counter(Read 30731 times)
Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #30 on: March 30, 2009, 09:35:53 PM
Agreed. Time to move on.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #31 on: March 30, 2009, 10:01:56 PM
Bend her over the bathroom counter first.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #32 on: March 30, 2009, 10:14:22 PM
on your way out the door
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #33 on: March 31, 2009, 01:40:42 AM
hahahaha thanks girls. That's the reaction I was looking for.

Umm I did have a follow up that would have made it more obvious that I was just kidding. But that was about ten hours ago and I can't remember the punch line now.

Sorry, I didn't mean to offend any of you.
« Last Edit: March 31, 2009, 02:38:52 AM by Tru »
Reality; A shared narrative we all agree to believe.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #34 on: March 31, 2009, 01:46:47 AM
I feel you, Kyle ...
I just think that you're putting the cart before the horse ...
No one, including her, is saying "marry her" ...

I think you're running from something that's NOT necessarily following you through the woods at night ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #35 on: March 31, 2009, 01:52:23 AM
What more do you need than somebody to appreciate your racist jokes?



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #36 on: March 31, 2009, 02:12:41 AM
Shut it, niglet ...

heh ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #37 on: March 31, 2009, 03:19:18 AM
What's better than me being me? WEEEEEEE!!!!
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #38 on: March 31, 2009, 03:21:43 AM
Quote from: WhateverJohnny's name is, Profaust, I think
What?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #39 on: March 31, 2009, 04:02:45 AM
What more do you need than somebody to appreciate your racist jokes?

EXACTLY!

I time my best racist comments for when Danni with snort something out of her nose. That's true love.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #40 on: March 31, 2009, 04:19:31 AM
Mosh: I read your posts with an Aussie accent.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #41 on: March 31, 2009, 05:56:34 AM
I read yours with Jack Black's accent
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #42 on: March 31, 2009, 06:10:43 AM
Awesome.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #43 on: March 31, 2009, 10:47:48 AM
I read yours with Jack Black's accent

lol!
Go to these sites, and don't forget to tell your friends!
KimboFever.com
MyWebTrash.com
d00dj00sux0r.com



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #44 on: March 31, 2009, 02:32:42 PM
I read yours your face-melting posts with Jack Black's accent

School of Rock'd.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #45 on: March 31, 2009, 02:36:04 PM
I lean over and start kissing her. About 5 minutes we were raring to go. My wood trying to burst through my pants and her pussy sopping on my hand. We head from the couch into my room and gently take each other's clothes off. I like the gentle part ... usually we almost tear each other apart. This was more sensual. She heads to the bathroom and grabs a condom, and puts it on. We fuck. and fuck. I love it, actually more than night sex. First time having sex during the daytime. She doesn't bite and I don't smack her ass. It's hot and sensual. She drenches my stomach, groin and bed. I feel wet all on the sides of me. She laughs because my belly-button is filled with her cum. A reservoir of female juice. While she's on top, I get right on the verge of nutting and she moves positions and I lose it. FUCK!!
He walks into the bathroom, comes up behind me and whispers some very sweet nothings in my ear. Kisses me hard and after a few minutes of pawing and making out, I end up bent forward over the marble countertop, holding the edge for support, and he lifted my skirt and pulled my panties down to my knees and fucked me so soooo good, right there. It's great with the mirror in front of you like that. Every bounce, every thrust, catching eachothers eye here and there, watching yourself fuck or be fucked. Super hot. We were late for our reservation.
It's funny what detail people go into recounting their bodily functions when it comes to sex. It's only sex though. Nobody explains how they positioned their legs for this super large shit the other day or exactly how they ate a delicious slice of cheesecake. I mean it's just weird. Like why would any reader be any more interested in the fact that kyle's bellybutton was filed with a love-puddle or that katie was holding the edge of the countertop for support than they would be if I shared the fact that I wash my chest before my back in the shower or that I sleep on my stomach facing right.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #46 on: March 31, 2009, 02:54:09 PM
Ever since I broke my collarbone, I seem to have lost the ability to sleep comfortably on my stomach. I only ever sleep on my back or on my side now.

And I tend to go face, hair, shoulders/arms, chest/stomach, back, armpits, crotch, legs, feet, ass when I shower.

ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #47 on: March 31, 2009, 03:08:21 PM
Right now I am sitting in a chair at my desk, slightly hunched over (I have bad posture), right hand on mouse, left hand typing, right leg crossed over left leg. Firmly grasping onto the desk as my coworker rams... just kidding.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #48 on: March 31, 2009, 03:25:27 PM
I welcome sex details with any of the girls.......not baggy though.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #49 on: March 31, 2009, 04:14:08 PM
Mosh: I read your posts with an Aussie accent.

I still hear yours as Cartman from time to time ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #50 on: March 31, 2009, 04:22:53 PM
Right now I am sitting in a chair at my desk, slightly hunched over (I have bad posture), right hand on mouse, left hand typing, right leg crossed over left leg. Firmly grasping onto the desk as my coworker rams...

that was awesome!
for a second, i pictured your co-worker that talks to herself in that situation.  :P
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #51 on: March 31, 2009, 04:34:43 PM
And I tend to go face, hair, shoulders/arms, chest/stomach, back, armpits, crotch, legs, feet, ass when I shower.

When I first get into the shower in the mornings, I left to water run over my body.  Usually it's pretty hot water, and so it warms up my toes and fingers as I make sure that at least I'm all wet before I get soaped up.

Then, I take a small dollop of shampoo - usually no bigger than the space between my life line & love line - and rub it into my hair, starting from the front and working the suds back.  With the excess shampoo suds, I normally do a quick scrub under the arms, and then wash the soap off my hands and armpits.

Following that, I left the shampoo "soak" on my hair, and i begin scrubbing with body soap.  I think I start with my left shoulder, go down the arm, back around to cross the chest and belly, and then up to the right shoulder and down the arm.

By this point, the left side has already been patially rinsed, so I put down the soap, do some upper body scrubbing, and then proceed to rinse out my shampoo as well as all of the upper body soap.  Every few days, I'll do a lower body soaping too; it's just very hard for a tall guy to suds his own legs.

After my shower, I pick up my towel and dry my hair first.  I proceed from there down the neck, down the left shoulder and arm, then the right shoulder and arm.  From this point, it's generally an exercise in removing water from top to bottom on my body, so that there is no part with drips on it once I'm done.

Doorm, I think the reason no one describes things to this level of detail for normal things is because no one wants to try to emulate the way you wash and dry yourself.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #52 on: March 31, 2009, 04:59:55 PM
I lean over and start kissing her. About 5 minutes we were raring to go. My wood trying to burst through my pants and her pussy sopping on my hand. We head from the couch into my room and gently take each other's clothes off. I like the gentle part ... usually we almost tear each other apart. This was more sensual. She heads to the bathroom and grabs a condom, and puts it on. We fuck. and fuck. I love it, actually more than night sex. First time having sex during the daytime. She doesn't bite and I don't smack her ass. It's hot and sensual. She drenches my stomach, groin and bed. I feel wet all on the sides of me. She laughs because my belly-button is filled with her cum. A reservoir of female juice. While she's on top, I get right on the verge of nutting and she moves positions and I lose it. FUCK!!
He walks into the bathroom, comes up behind me and whispers some very sweet nothings in my ear. Kisses me hard and after a few minutes of pawing and making out, I end up bent forward over the marble countertop, holding the edge for support, and he lifted my skirt and pulled my panties down to my knees and fucked me so soooo good, right there. It's great with the mirror in front of you like that. Every bounce, every thrust, catching eachothers eye here and there, watching yourself fuck or be fucked. Super hot. We were late for our reservation.
It's funny what detail people go into recounting their bodily functions when it comes to sex. It's only sex though. Nobody explains how they positioned their legs for this super large shit the other day or exactly how they ate a delicious slice of cheesecake. I mean it's just weird. Like why would any reader be any more interested in the fact that kyle's bellybutton was filed with a love-puddle or that katie was holding the edge of the countertop for support than they would be if I shared the fact that I wash my chest before my back in the shower or that I sleep on my stomach facing right.

i guess you missed katie's post about eating peanut butter.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #53 on: March 31, 2009, 05:01:11 PM
When I first get into the shower in the mornings, I left to water run over my body.  Usually it's pretty hot water, and so it warms up my toes and fingers as I make sure that at least I'm all wet before I get soaped up.

Then, I take a small dollop of shampoo - usually no bigger than the space between my life line & love line - and rub it into my hair, starting from the front and working the suds back.  With the excess shampoo suds, I normally do a quick scrub under the arms, and then wash the soap off my hands and armpits.

Following that, I left the shampoo "soak" on my hair, and i begin scrubbing with body soap.  I think I start with my left shoulder, go down the arm, back around to cross the chest and belly, and then up to the right shoulder and down the arm.

By this point, the left side has already been patially rinsed, so I put down the soap, do some upper body scrubbing, and then proceed to rinse out my shampoo as well as all of the upper body soap.  Every few days, I'll do a lower body soaping too; it's just very hard for a tall guy to suds his own legs.

After my shower, I pick up my towel and dry my hair first.  I proceed from there down the neck, down the left shoulder and arm, then the right shoulder and arm.  From this point, it's generally an exercise in removing water from top to bottom on my body, so that there is no part with drips on it once I'm done.


I don't understand. Can you take some pictures to help me get a clearer understanding of this process?
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #54 on: March 31, 2009, 05:06:47 PM
maybe a "How To" video on youtube?
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #55 on: March 31, 2009, 05:30:58 PM
Even better!
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #56 on: March 31, 2009, 06:01:25 PM
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #57 on: March 31, 2009, 07:05:55 PM
 When the water has reached the appropriate temperature, I step into the shower. Closing my eyes I let the heat wash over me until I no longer feel it burn. I spend the next fifteen minutes slowly dragging a razor across my scalp, "with the grain" as they say, until not a hair stands upon my head. I proceed to lather my muscular, somewhat hirsute body, beginning with my hard chest and shoulders, working my way across my broad back, and down my sinewy, lightly scarred, and somewhat tattooed arms. This done I proceed to scrub vigorously, harshly, with a roughly-textured wash cloth. I go through a similar process for my lean abdomen and powerful legs and buttocks. At last I lather my generative organs, and on a juvenile lark twist my hips back and forth rapidly. The slapping sound of my manhood swinging back and forth against my own pelvis as soap suds are flung everywhere amuses me on a primitive level. Rinsing off, my ablution is all but complete. Last, but certainly not least, I slam my face, with eyes wide open against a blanks spot on the shower wall. Letting my left hand catch the resulting blood flow, I use my right index finger to add another figure to my on going recreation of the Bayeux Tapestry. One day I shall reveal to Christie what real art is, and take his fraudulent empire right out of his soft and complacent hands.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #58 on: March 31, 2009, 07:31:47 PM
That was sort of Easton Ellis-esque.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Fucking on the bathroom counter Reply #59 on: March 31, 2009, 07:35:21 PM
Don't go murderin' anyone now, balor.
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon