o hai my elderly compatriots (is that a word?) I just wanna let you know that I found my perfect match.  She is coming to be with me in April.  Already has bus tickets all the way from Orange, California to be with shitty old me.  We will probably get really fucking high and start a band together, most likely.  So what grotesque creature has Danzig nabbed?  Let's take a look.





I'm really fucking in love :3

Dreadyteensluts.com

Is this band to be called "Burning Nigger"? This girl looks to have a touch of mulatto to her.

Zoomie:  Thank fuck she's not a slut or a nympho at all!  Seriously, I'm not settling down with any sluts, but I also don't want a prude, and she is in that perfect inbetween area.

Mosh:  A touch?  More like she IS mulatto.  She's half french, a quarter Brazillian, a quarter black, and 100% sexy as fuq.  dfkviohweo;nw4kltbnl she drives me crazy.  Look at this beautiful bitch:




She was drunk and she still looks gorgeous when she's drunk.  Gahd I can't wait til April.  Yeah she's no nigger thankfully.  Just a doom metal girl and a stoner that likes being lazy and playing video games, perfect <3 <3 <3

Oh and I'm not quite sure about the band name yet.  Gotta think about it.  She's gonna make a fucking fly bassist.

Don't worry; I've got this ....
How old is she and why is she moving to Maine; Cali's a little more "happenin'"; you know?

She's cute!

Don't worry; I've got this ....
How old is she and why is she moving to Maine; Cali's a little more "happenin'"; you know?

lol, "Hold on I got this" XD ...in other words, "Hold on, I know the proper questions to ask in order to properly break Dylan's soul and publicly mock him."

She is 20, and she is moving to Maine in order to start a new life with me and marry me.  She is as in love with me as I am with her.  Believe it or not, she's constantly telling me how much she loves me and doesn't deserve me.  Just today she told me again how it would be an honor for her to marry me.  I've already asked her and she already said "I do".  I know, she's completely fucking crazy XD ...actually, she has really low self esteem so you better believe I am gonna take full advantage of using my charm on my dream girl with low self esteem.  In terms of true love, compatibility, and my luck when it comes to the entire situation, I've hit the fucking jackpot.  We have followed each other for a while but we only started talking in January and I already have gotten her to buy nonrefundable one way tickets to me and get engaged to me. 

Bitches, you forget I actually have skills...maybe not to pay the bills, but definitely to land my perfect chill-ass stoner wife.

Actually, "I got this" meant to just ask and to NOT 'publicly mock' you ...
IOW, I figured I'd do instead of some of the others here getting to it first ...

You know what; I wish you the best ...
I've got NOTHING to say about this otherwise ...

Wait ....
.............
....................
.........................

Yep, nothing ...
(... not even the obvious)

Actually, "I got this" meant to just ask and to NOT 'publicly mock' you ...
IOW, I figured I'd do instead of some of the others here getting to it first ...

You know what; I wish you the best ...
I've got NOTHING to say about this otherwise ...

Wait ....
.............
....................
.........................

Yep, nothing ...
(... not even the obvious)

B'awww, thanks thrashypoo, you are too kind :'3 ...but no, it's ok, I'm curious about the obvious joke now, go for it.  I promise I'll try not to cry too hard.

What could possibly go wrong?

But, yeah, she is cute.

Have you pressed the flesh with this broad in person or is this a purely electronic lovey-dovey/Skypefucking/textual relationship?

What could possibly go wrong?

But, yeah, she is cute.

Have you pressed the flesh with this broad in person or is this a purely electronic lovey-dovey/Skypefucking/textual relationship?

Well if you actually knew the details and how extremely similar our personalities are (both INFP's, for one), you might be surprised how little I think COULD go wrong and how much faith I have in this, especially when compared to past experiences of mine.  It's actually kinda crazy to me how perfect it all seems.  I've never had zero doubts about a relationship in my life.

...and no, it's all been online (and yes, we have video chatted) because she lives in the other corner of the USA, and like I said she is coming here by bus in April, for the first time.

Woohoo, I had a cutie like that when I was young, but I cut her loose because I had big plans. Hahahahaha plans, what a waste of a lifetime that became.

Lets all hoist one for the lad!

Well, other than jobs, money and living arrangements when married, etc ...
... and I assume she either has HPV or she's going to Gardisil it; either way, it's cool

... they're just the simple, easy questions one would naturally have/ask that know you; that's all

Haven't we gone over this? Doesn't pretty much everyone have HPV?

Well, other than jobs, money and living arrangements when married, etc ...
... and I assume she either has HPV or she's going to Gardisil it; either way, it's cool

... they're just the simple, easy questions one would naturally have/ask that know you; that's all

She's had one boyfriend.  She's clean.  My HPV is gone.  Both of us are clean w00t

Haven't we gone over this? Doesn't pretty much everyone have HPV?

Yeah I'm pretty sure it's like a majority of the population now.  It's more common than not.  It still fucking sucks though.

I only have one question, and it doesn't come from where you think.

Are your funeral arrangements made and prepaid?

You selling plots off of the land in WV to raise enough money to own it?

Yes yes and yes all those things are required and you guys suck.

I only have one question, and it doesn't come from where you think.

Are your funeral arrangements made and prepaid?

Oh we don't care what happens after we die, zoomie XD ...we don't plan on dying anytime soon.

Zoomie XD is way better than Zoomie Regular Strength.

Niiiice ...

I had a question, however, I can't fucking remember it ...

Hey, you need me to make sure she's a real person?  I live out this way; I can verify if she's Amanda-esque for you, dude.

Lukey is back! Yay Lukey!

We demand updates!

We demand updates!

Yes Lucas! Tell us what you've been doing every day for the past year. Take your time and tell us everything. We have lots of time because DANZIG WAS MURDERED  BY THAT DREADY GIRL AND WAS DUMPED IN A LAKE IN MAINE AND WILL NEVER BE FOUND!!!

So... What's up?

I think you just covered that ...

.... wait; huh?

Pop rocks rule.

That is all.

Pop Rocks hahaha are so 1980

No, "Mikey" being dead because of them is ...

woots! i r happy for you guys.

She seems like a really rad chic.. and uber hawt so win!

Odd fact; I had Pop Rocks just today ...

You are odd. Nerds are surprisingly good though.

I love Nerds ...
I had those the other day too ...

So is Dylan dead or what???

Also.... do Nerds still come in those plastic nerd shaped containers???

Uhm, I know of the 2-sided boxes they come in ...

Ahh okay. I thought they would still do those plastic containers., They were fucking awesome.



Paper boxes suck beans.

Yeah, I miss those old boxes ...
(Something I'd never imagined I'd say; EVER!)

I wonder why they stopped making them??? Maybe because you have to eat the candy out of their asses?

Need I REALLY have to comment on that aspect of "nerds"?

So is Dylan dead or what???

Naw.. i talked to him a few days ago.

...and?

...and?

Beuler?
Beuler?

Beuler?
Beuler?

Where the fuck is Joygasm and Commie today?

Those gals added some real value to the board.

I talked to Joy about 3 months ago ...
... she seems aight

Omg hi!.. i often forget this place is around. 

i feel like the red headed step child here.. you guys circle jerk over shit i know nothing about because i've been mia for years. 

I wonder how many times dylan has found his "perfect match" in life..

 

You still mad at me Miss Bobbie?

I talked w/Joy 2 weeks ago; she's fine ...

Commie is married as of, well, 2017, I think, and TOTALLY cougaring it up!