Can I Have Your Daughter`s Hand? Mad:)Take

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Alex Queef PooPlunger,

Will you let me plungebutt your rectal reamer? Ever since I have laid my left nut on Vergina, I have bungspelunked madly in love with her. I wish that she will be the dog dick of my duck vag and that someday we will be dicklicking happily ever after. I have a big brown bear as a/an fluffer that pays $69 each month. I promise to salad toss Vergina with kindness and respect.

Sincerely,
RumpPumper Phil McCrackin

http://www.madglibs.com/

... aaaaaand ..... GO!!!

Dear butt buddy,
I am having a(n) spunky time at camp. The counselour is assy and the food is jizzy. I met Spunk Dog and we became farty friends. Unfortunately, Spunk Dog is fucky and I splooged my colon so we couldn`t go yogurt chucking like everybody else. I need more dildos and a fuckstick sharpener, so please hornily snowball more when you dry hump back.

Your cum dumpster,
assy mcgee

The Walmart Difference Mad:)Take

Come fist at WALMART, where you`ll receive quick discounts on all of your favorite brand name ass beads. Our slippery and stretching associates are there to fuck you 69 hours a day. Here you will find sideways prices on the bung blasters you need. pocket pussies for the moms, rubber fists for the kids and all the latest electronics for the cumcatchers. So come on down to your squishy assfaggotty WALMART where the cock horfers come first.

Date Night
 
On Fuckday I invited my dildo to dinner at the men's room stall.  The Fudge Tunnels were performing there that night!
One of the players played a cummy vibrator; weird, right?  While our waiter anally sat us at our table, the person next to
us spunkily got out of their seat and blumpkined.  I decided to order the prostate tickler; have you ever had that before?
My date decided to have some AIDS; yuck!  While eating, I glanced around the room and saw Popeye, a giant crusty cumrag,
who seemed to really enjoy his assfruit.

I went to go and pay for my date but I couldn't find any money, so I paid in ass pummellers.  I felt embarrassed, so we rushed outside.
I pulled over a taxi and the ride was goatseish.  He was a horrible driver; we almost crashed 69 times!  After we finally arrived home I Hitlered
my girlfriend goodnight and said, "Goodbye; and how's your mom's spunk tunnel?"

Once upon a time, high on a mountaintop, in a house made of moldy cum, there lived a little girl named Princess Pussyfart, and her grandmother Queen Douchejuice. They were very happy there - they ate Roast bowl of dicks every day for lunch, played Penisbutt on the weekends, and generally enjoyed life very much. But then one day they noticed a weird smell coming from the canyon below. It smelled like stinky pussy flambe, and it was slowly driving them nuts. So Queen Douchejuice told the girl to go down and check it out. Princess Pussyfart jumped on her Pissed off condom and flew down to the very bottom of the canyon, where an ancient evil creature named Ron Jeremy appeared before her and said, "How dare you disturb me in my tenement?! Now make me laugh or I will turn you to stone!""Okay," said Princess Pussyfart, "A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, why the long face?" But this joke was pretty terrible, and Ron Jeremy did not laugh. Just as the evil creature was about to turn Princess Pussyfart to stone, the little girl had an idea. "I've got another one," she said. "It's a knock-knock joke. You start it." "Knock knock," growled Ron Jeremy. "Who's there?" said Princess Pussyfart. But Ron Jeremy had no idea who was there. In fact, the creature was so perplexed by this that it exploded into evil pixie dust right there on the spot. Princess Pussyfart returned home to Queen Douchejuice and they lived happily ever after. Oh yeah, and the smell stopped by the way.

The end.

I need to do more of these ...

Are you using software to generate those?

http://www.madglibs.com/

Runaway Bride Proposal
Look, I guarantee there`ll be Sperm Soaked times. I guarantee that at some random Pickle-Tickler, 69 or both of us is gonna want to get out of this CumDumpster.  But I also guarantee that if I don`t ask you to be Anal-Abrasive, I`ll be Feltching it for the rest of my Man-Vag's life, because I know, deep in my Gooch, you`re the Butt-Piratey Rompin' Rectal Ranger for me.

Damn, we were drunk that night!

Damn, we were drunk that night!

Wait, who?

I'm guessing Melissa and I (at that point in time) ...