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if you really wanna impress someone... write their full name on the side of the police station


I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. (Read 50989 times)
Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #30 on: April 04, 2009, 10:01:45 PM
Pepper Spray ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #31 on: April 04, 2009, 11:17:26 PM
Also, I think I might give my rubber cock to her as a going away present. She'd probably like that.

This is the worst idea in the thread.

THE.  WORST.  IDEA.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #32 on: April 04, 2009, 11:18:33 PM
You've fucked this situation beyond repair.

She's clearly emotionally invested and so are you, to some extent. There's no way out now without being an asshole, so your best bet is to be the least dishonest asshole possible.

Be honest about being a complete emotional retard (literally), and that you're effectively a 16 year old kid when it comes to all this stuff, and that things are progressing a little fast for you.

That said, the LAST thing you should do is make out that since she's your first, you're uncomfortable with her being your "only", and that you wanna dip your quill in some other inkpots, so to speak. This may be the truth, but in this particular case the absolute truth won't do anything but make her feel like a complete piece of useless shit who's not worth anything and might as well just die.

Clearly that's not how you want her to feel, so don't let on that you like her OK but think you can do better, because it's never nice to feel that used.

I've quoted Si here (and made his text more readable!) because this is the best advice so far.

Let me ask you some questions, so I can understand your perception of yourself:
Do you think you are good in bed?
Do you think you are good at relationships?
Do you think you are a good person?
Do you think you approach situations with common sense and a mature vision?
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #33 on: April 04, 2009, 11:36:11 PM
Also, I think I might give my rubber cock to her as a going away present. She'd probably like that.

This is the worst idea in the thread.

THE.  WORST.  IDEA.

It's funny that you guys can never really tell if I am serious or not.

Answers to the ?s
1. Based on on what "J" tells me, I am good. But based on my level of experience, other girls may not agree. I need more experience, with other women, to answer that question. Myself, I feel much more confident than I did before, but want to test my confidence with other women. Like tricky.
2. No. I actually feel totally uncomfortable. Hopefully because I am just not used to relationships, and not due to some weird my mom-divorced-my dad when I was 2 and brought me up a single mother until I was 8, then the step-dad entered the picture and they had a difficult and twisted marriage, dr. drew "it's always based in childhood" prescription.
3. Actually, I do. That shows in the fact that I am worried about hurting "J"'s feelings. Contrary to my message-board disguise, I can empathize.
4. Sometimes.




Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #34 on: April 04, 2009, 11:38:32 PM
Also, I think I might give my rubber cock to her as a going away present. She'd probably like that.

This is the worst idea in the thread.
Also, I think I might give my rubber cock to her as a going away present. She'd probably like that.

...unless tricky can prove to me she wants it more.


Uhm, NOT a good idea ...
DP'ing her with it IS ...

Best Idea ...

After this:

The minute she gets back just stuff it in her ass without warning ...
Then, after a slight apology, do it again ...

OR

You could, like, totally coke out for a few days ...

... according to Sam Kinison, these work like charms!


EDIT: TYPO


« Last Edit: April 04, 2009, 11:40:20 PM by Thrash »
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #35 on: April 04, 2009, 11:42:57 PM
It's funny that you guys can never really tell if I am serious or not.

it's funny that the only things you think are funny are things you originate.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #36 on: April 04, 2009, 11:44:57 PM
He's Andy Kaufman?
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #37 on: April 04, 2009, 11:47:17 PM
1. Based on on what "J" tells me, I am good. But based on my level of experience, other girls may not agree. I need more experience, with other women, to answer that question. Myself, I feel much more confident than I did before, but want to test my confidence with other women. Like tricky.

In your opinion, are you better or worse in bed than you expected to be?

2. No. I actually feel totally uncomfortable. Hopefully because I am just not used to relationships, and not due to some weird my mom-divorced-my dad when I was 2 and brought me up a single mother until I was 8, then the step-dad entered the picture and they had a difficult and twisted marriage, dr. drew "it's always based in childhood" prescription.

Is J at all aware of this situation?
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #38 on: April 04, 2009, 11:47:29 PM
3. Actually, I do. That shows in the fact that I am worried about hurting "J"'s feelings. Contrary to my message-board disguise, I can empathize.

Counterintuitively, a good person probably would not have kissed and told so much.  I'm just pointing this out objectively, not implying that you're a BAD person.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #39 on: April 04, 2009, 11:48:25 PM



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #40 on: April 04, 2009, 11:52:53 PM
Myself, I feel much more confident than I did before, but want to test my confidence with other women. Like tricky.

I'm wet.
« Last Edit: April 04, 2009, 11:53:14 PM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #41 on: April 04, 2009, 11:54:49 PM
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #42 on: April 04, 2009, 11:55:19 PM
Why don't you just say, "I think we are better as friends and not girlfriend and boyfriend." Then say, "I love hanging out with you, but I don't think we should take the sexual relationship any further."  THEN you make plans to hang out a week later and you flake out.  Then you re-make plans and flake out again.  The open-ended break-up is always the best.  Because you don't look like a jerk, you just look like a flakey friend. DIg?!



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #43 on: April 05, 2009, 12:00:01 AM
Why don't you just say, "I think we are better as friends and not girlfriend and boyfriend." Then say, "I love hanging out with you, but I don't think we should take the sexual relationship any further."  THEN you make plans to hang out a week later and you flake out.  Then you re-make plans and flake out again.  The open-ended break-up is always the best.  Because you don't look like a jerk, you just look like a flakey friend. DIg?!

Wow life makes so much more sense now. Thanks Sasha!
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #44 on: April 05, 2009, 12:01:15 AM
3. Actually, I do. That shows in the fact that I am worried about hurting "J"'s feelings. Contrary to my message-board disguise, I can empathize.

Counterintuitively, a good person probably would not have kissed and told so much.  I'm just pointing this out objectively, not implying that you're a BAD person.

I don't believe that being an exhibitionist is necessarily bad and/or evil. Funny, I never really knew I've always had this little thing inside me. After that encounter when I was at "J"s place and she started going at me on the couch, with her 3 other roommates there, and I was totally excited and thrilled, I started to understand. Looking back I should have known before now. Many years ago (I posted about it on the original L-G) I had an hour long make out session on a bench at night in front of the capitol. People walked by, and I liked it. The same girl, then beat me off in the parking lot of an iHop, with people walking by and anybody could just look in the windows. (Until they fogged up) "J" and I both took pisses out in public behind the Alamo Drafthouse a few weeks ago... of course I was very drunk that time. I've also fantasized about bending a girl over the hood of my car and having sex, right out in daylight so people driving by could be like wtf! Haha.

So posting on boards, has also fed this "exhibitionist" thing of mine I guess...



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #45 on: April 05, 2009, 12:01:35 AM

3. Actually, I do. That shows in the fact that I am worried about hurting "J"'s feelings. Contrary to my message-board disguise, I can empathize.


while we all appreciate you keeping us updated as to your relationship and sexual status, maybe you should be a little more gentlemanly and... not. there is not another person here who goes into such detail, publicly, about their sexual activities or on the shortcomings of their partner.

and everyone here has had more relationships... nay, more relationships that were more successful than the one you're dealing with right now. i think there might be something of a correlation there. exes are fair game, for sure. but if you want to keep someone around, don't go telling all your current business to everyone. just for future reference. unless, of course, the other half knows about it. how embarrassing would it be for her if all of this was brought to light? and who would she blame? not me, not dave, not sasha or luke. just you.

so don't go around saying you're a good person and you care about how she feels because if she knew about all of this i think she would disagree.
cream filling for hollow victories



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #46 on: April 05, 2009, 12:02:31 AM
You're welcome!

I lost Kyle's number so I am telling him now to go to Red Scoot Inn tonight because it will be full of skinny as shit hipster girls, plus I will be there.  I'll let you be my wingman Kyle,  I'll be Maverick and you can be the Ice-Man.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #47 on: April 05, 2009, 12:03:44 AM
Why don't you just say, "I think we are better as friends and not girlfriend and boyfriend." Then say, "I love hanging out with you, but I don't think we should take the sexual relationship any further."  THEN you make plans to hang out a week later and you flake out.  Then you re-make plans and flake out again.  The open-ended break-up is always the best.  Because you don't look like a jerk, you just look like a flakey friend. DIg?!

Thanks!



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #48 on: April 05, 2009, 12:07:37 AM
Myself, I feel much more confident than I did before, but want to test my confidence with other women. Like tricky.

I'm wet.


I'm about to be.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #49 on: April 05, 2009, 12:10:47 AM
« Last Edit: April 05, 2009, 12:11:00 AM by tricky »
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #50 on: April 05, 2009, 12:12:14 AM
Why don't you just say, "I think we are better as friends and not girlfriend and boyfriend." Then say, "I love hanging out with you, but I don't think we should take the sexual relationship any further."  THEN you make plans to hang out a week later and you flake out.  Then you re-make plans and flake out again.  The open-ended break-up is always the best.  Because you don't look like a jerk, you just look like a flakey friend. DIg?!

No No No No Noooooo, you dont give him advice that might actually work! I'm looking forward to reading all the sordid details of this train that is obviously hurtling towards trainwreck!



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #51 on: April 05, 2009, 12:14:22 AM
 I'll let you be my wingman Kyle,  I'll be Maverick and you can be the Ice-Man.

Oh god, NPH moment: "Have you met Ted?"



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #52 on: April 05, 2009, 12:17:02 AM
I think I'm taking Sasha up on her offer! Now I have something to do on this previously-retarded, Saturday evening.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #53 on: April 05, 2009, 12:22:46 AM
Do it; I would ...

Wow, Sasha's REALLY coming through here ...

Hold me, Mosh ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #54 on: April 05, 2009, 12:25:14 AM
Wow, Sasha's REALLY coming through here ...

make a list of things sasha is good at, and ending relationships will be on it.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #55 on: April 05, 2009, 12:26:10 AM
*nods*
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #56 on: April 05, 2009, 12:34:45 AM
Have fun tonight, see you tomorrow!

I think no matter what you do with J, you're going to fuck it up.

I don't know even the basics of your non-sexual relationship with her, but here's my advice based on your responses above:
1)  Be humble and self-deprecating.  This is your fault, so act like it.
2)  Don't try to use humor or wit to soften the blow.  Breakups aren't funny.
3)  Don't talk about the physical aspects of the relationship.  It's irrelevant.
4)  Lie, if necessary, to let her save face.  If you REALLY care, you'll take the hit.

And, most importantly, don't ask for our advice and then not follow it.  You do that a lot.
Like yours.  Only different.



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #57 on: April 05, 2009, 12:36:20 AM
Eitje is right! Listen to him. He's like smart & stuff. Unlike the rest of us fucktards.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #58 on: April 05, 2009, 12:37:01 AM
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: I need help breaking it off, but not breaking her heart. Reply #59 on: April 05, 2009, 12:37:58 AM


I will.

PS: You're not a fucktard.