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Anyone ready Fmylife.com?(Read 8477 times)
Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #90 on: January 16, 2010, 01:44:31 AM
This happened to a friend of mine, actually:
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Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

I know someone that happened to, actually, only it was her mother and aunt switching roles. She only found out when she was 50-something and her "mother" died.

This just SUX ...

David, my son?  Yeah, well, he's also my little bro, 'cuz my folks adopted him.  To the world, at large, I was nothing but an UNfit Mother.

What is just too sad?  I wasn't that UnFit ~ I WAS, however, that UNrich, and couldn't even afford myself.

Well, all anyway ...


I think about that.  About if we just had everything we needed, how cool and easy it would all be.

Too bad I'm not the guy in charge ...



On ANOTHER Note:

Good GOD, Dave!  Do You LIVE at FML???  I've been there, several times, and I NEVER find the gold you do!
« Last Edit: January 16, 2010, 01:46:26 AM by arielle.looney »
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Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #91 on: January 16, 2010, 02:36:50 PM
I only look at the "highest rated" ...
Most other stuff blows dog dick ....
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #92 on: February 12, 2010, 09:22:39 PM
These are SO both me:

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Today, I was letting my boyfriend of 4 years tie me up and do stuff to me. After finishing on my face, he then left. My parents had to untie me. FML

Quote
Today, after confessing my love for my best friend, he looked at me and said "I'm not feeling it. But does this mean we can have sex?" FML
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #93 on: February 12, 2010, 09:25:10 PM
So many of these fit Dylan:
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Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

Quote
Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML
« Last Edit: February 12, 2010, 09:26:34 PM by Thrash »
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #94 on: July 30, 2010, 07:08:55 PM
There's an APP for that afterall!
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Today, I was texting my crush. I tried to say, "I need a nap," but my iPhone changed it to "I need anal." I sent it. FML
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #95 on: July 31, 2010, 06:08:33 AM
*watches Dave run right out to pick up an iPhone...*



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #96 on: July 31, 2010, 11:21:50 AM
Doesn't Dave's phone automatically broadcast an "I NEED ANAL" text message every three hours already?



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #97 on: July 31, 2010, 12:17:34 PM
Yep, to his entire contact list.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #98 on: July 31, 2010, 01:57:58 PM
That's called Grinder app.



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #99 on: July 31, 2010, 03:53:47 PM
Hahahaha ...
Thanks ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #100 on: December 16, 2011, 01:19:54 AM
Hahahaha!

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Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #101 on: January 09, 2014, 02:22:30 PM
* Thrash nods *
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Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #102 on: November 13, 2015, 03:29:50 PM
Quote
Today, my boyfriend told me that he doesn't know why I think deepthroating is so uncomfortable. To prove his point, he grabbed my dildo and effortlessly slid it down his throat. FML
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Anyone ready Fmylife.com? Reply #103 on: November 14, 2015, 11:01:55 AM
Quote
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML

BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')