I work for a Philadelphia university's health system doing lame tech stuff. Moving PCs and installing PC and printers, installing software applications, etc. Pretty gay for someone who has over ten years experience in network admin, database admin, and software development (C, Perl, PHP, ColdFusion, Javascript, SQL, Transact-SQL, etc). But sometimes you get to see some cool shit.

One day I was installing some software on some perfusion machines (heart and lung machines) for the Chief of Perfusion. We had to go into an OR to perform the install on one of the machines while it was in use for open heart surgery. I get all scrubbed up and we go in and I'm doing the install when the guy I'm with says, "Hey, you ever see somebody's heart?" I say no, and he asks if I want to see one, and I'm all like "Hell yeah".

He asks the doctors if I can take a look, and they say sure, but wait a minute because they're closing up. I'm standing there while they're using the cuatery iron and I'm getting a face full of burning flesh fumes for a little bit, then they reach into his rib cage and pull the dude's gaping chest wound open and they're all like, "Ha ha! Hey man, you ever see anything like that before!"

It was pretty wild being like 2 feet away from a living person who's sliced wide open and seeing their heart beating away in front of your face. It was also pretty wild how the doctors were totally into showing it off.

So far that's my coolest experience here.

it would've been cooler if you had reached into the chest cavity, ripped the heart out and just sunk your teeth into it while it was still beating. i bet those cocky doctors have never seen anything like that.

Yeah, well, after we left the OR the guy I was with started telling me how cool it was the first time the doctors let him hold somebody's heart. I wouldn't want to fuck up the chance at getting to do that.

sank? i clearly haven't had my V8 today.

it would've been cooler if you had reached into the chest cavity, ripped the heart out and just sunk your teeth into it while it was still beating. i bet those cocky doctors have never seen anything like that.

That's the hardest internet ROFL I had in a while.

sank? i clearly haven't had my V8 today.

The amount of salt in those things is disgusting.

yes, and i don't drink it for that reason.
it was a play on their lame ad campaigns.

In St Francis' trauma center one shift I got to manually beat a heart for 10 minutes with my bare (well, gloved) hands while also holding a stab wound on it closed at the same time ...

I love(d) being a paramedic/trauma nurse ...

I never get to do cool stuff like that in my very lame line of work.

We're more likely to see traders hold up somebody's life savings and say "see that?" and then flush it all down the toilet

I wish.

The wont let me into head office.

Probably better that way.

They won't suspect you when you inject that virus that sends the fractions of a penny to your Swiss bank account ...

shhhh...

that's been running for 10 years now...

It actually explains a lot ...

well, the coolest thing i've ever seen in MY job is gigabytes of unencrypted customer data open to dozens of people that are trusted to do the right thing.

The coolest thing I saw at my work was a pair of pantyhose.

The uncoolest thing is seeing my coworker pinch his nipples because he thinks it's funny. Sick.

Yeah, well, after we left the OR the guy I was with started telling me how cool it was the first time the doctors let him hold somebody's heart. I wouldn't want to fuck up the chance at getting to do that.

See, I'd freak myself out about it before I even got the chance to do that. It's like babies, everyone with a baby is always like "Oh do you wanna hold him/her?" And I never do. Cuz no fucking way am I gonna be the guy who dropped your fucking baby.

no fucking way am I gonna be the guy who dropped your fucking baby.

Right.

It's a pity we cant see the future, because you'd be able to see if dropping a baby would be beneficial to it down the track...

We're more likely to see traders hold up somebody's life savings and say "see that?" and then flush it all down the toilet

Southpark - And It's Gone

That is how a lot of the people in finance think

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

I wish you wouldn't lie. I have seen the pornos.

I'm obviously working for the wrong people. 

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

I wish you wouldn't lie. I have seen the pornos.

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

I wish you wouldn't lie. I have seen the pornos.

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

I wish you wouldn't lie. I have wanked to the pornos.

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

I wish you wouldn't lie. I have participated in the making of the pornos.

hahaha...

I like how you guys carefully booted me out of that quote chain.

Being a maid has no perks.  Oh wait I was happy when I noticed that someone had already cleaned the toilets.

I wish you wouldn't lie. I have participated in the making of the blumpkin pornos.