Coffee, I love you. You're like Viagra for old men to me. You make me into superman.

I like you dark roast, Colombian or French. Milk is for hacks, and sugar has no place within your oily black goodness.
Some days you taste like cigarette butts and you know you're completely undrinkable in "instant" or any of these damned fruit-flavored formats, but I forgive you even then because I know that when you are great you really are something great.

You make me a new man every morning. Thank you.

I wonder, does anyone else have any coffee preferences or am I the only one sludging up my insides every morning?

I love coffee, but I don't drink it that often.  I prefer to keep my stimulant tolerance low.

I love coffee, but I don't drink it that often.  I prefer to keep my stimulant tolerance low.

if you drink cofee you have less of a chance of SHUTTING THE FUCK UP

I love coffee. I have two cups during the weekdays usually. I like it with sugar and creamer and flavored syrup and all that shit. I am allergic to milk so I like that hazelnut flavored coffee creamer that is milk-free. Soy lattes are the best.

People just don't get my love of coffee. I say "I love coffee" and they are all "oh, I never realy got into drinking coffee". Or, "I drink it once in a while." Well, I'm fucking addicted and I like it!

Hazelnut is a product of the devil

The worst is ginger. My parents bought me a big thing of gingerbread-flavored coffee for Christmas. Oh I finished it, but every gulp was a struggle. It's like drinking curry flavored coffee or one of these asshole coffees with licorice flavoring. I like my coffee tasting the way god intended it - brown.

The worst is ginger.

I'm sure you don't hate ginger more than Zoomie's parents do/did.

Lick me, Tubby.

Ok pay attention. Get a  Moka Pot. Not  drip that's for the morning cup. Not a french press, that's for Kansas City Faggots. A Moka Pot. Sometimes called a Cafeterra Espresso. Bialetti makes a nice one but IMUSA is identical and cheaper. Less than $12 on eBay including shipping. If it's just for you, you only need the three serving. A serving is about 4 ounces. I have a double, sometimes a triple around 3pm each day. I use a one serving for hiking.

Get good coffee MADE for espresso. Pilon is the best I've found (it's from Cuban beans), though Goya is pretty good too. Medaglia D'oro is not worth the $9 per pound when Pilon is like $2.99. But I have only found Pilon in FL and on the web.

Level the grounds in the basket. Don't pack them. When if starts to brew, reduce the heat to the lowest setting. You want the boiling water forced through the grounds slowly to get all the flavor.

Use canned, sweetened condensed milk, Turkish/Cuban style. No other sweetener is required.

Sip loudly and hold on, you're gonna get a hell of a late afternoon ride.

And don't fuck on me until you've tried it. Seriously, it's better than speed and healthier than Red Bull.

Kyle, when I get to TX I'll make you a cup, I promise you'll love it. Then I'm gonna give you a total beat down so you'll stop acting like a post-virginal arrogant asshole. This is what pussy does to you.

I drink lots of soda but I've never enjoyed coffee.  It's not the taste at all, I don't find that disagreeable, I just don't like hot beverages at all.  Iced coffee is alright, but nothing really spectacular.

Yeah I have a sensitive mouth. I have to wait till it's just above room temperature to drink it. I'm wary of soda, though. I have a buddy who literally gave himself an ulcer by drinking too much coke. He was so hooked on caffeine he would put down one to two 2-litre sodas a day. Really fucked himself up.

Zoomie, what you describe sounds delicious. Well, everything after the "Lick me, Tubby" anyway.

Lick me, Tubby.

I'm sure that's definitely not the first time you said that.

I'm completely sure it's not even the first time I've said it to you.

Yeah I have a sensitive mouth. I have to wait till it's just above room temperature to drink it. I'm wary of soda, though. I have a buddy who literally gave himself an ulcer by drinking too much coke. He was so hooked on caffeine he would put down one to two 2-litre sodas a day. Really fucked himself up.

Zoomie, what you describe sounds delicious. Well, everything after the "Lick me, Tubby" anyway.

I have a pretty poor stomach (not ulcerous, but still) and I'm pretty sure a lot of it could be attributed to similar degree to soda consumption.  I've been drinking soda every day for the past 15 years.  Certainly not two liters or four liters a day, but definitely ~1-1.5 liters/36-48oz/3-4 cans a day I would guess is pretty average for me.

At some point the benefits of it (taste, artificially heightened state of energy) will be outweighed by the cons (like any number of health problems), but it seems pretty negligibly tame as far as vices go.

It pisses me off that I can't order a plain coffee anymore. Everything is tall/late/soy/flat/frappa/cappa/mocha/cream/vente....

When I'm in western countries I like to fuck with idiot Baristas who think they're performing something more artistic than pouring hot liquid into a cup.

Me: Give me a coffee please
Barista: What, sorry?
Me: Coffee, in a cup
Barista: Our menu is above the counter sir...
Me: That's good, I'll have a coffee
Barista: Uh, American blend or house blend
Me: Coffee, in a cup. Regular.
Barista: Regular size, sir?
Me: Regular coffee
Barista: What flavor?
Me: Regular, just a plain coffee, don't forget the cup
Barista: That is called a tall black, sir..
Me: Good. I'll have one of those, then
Barista: What size would you like
Me: Normal cup size.
Barista: We offer regular, tall, vente and grande
Me: Regular is a normal coffee mug?
Barista: Yes sir
Me: OK.
Barista: Would you like sugar or milk with that?
Me: No thanks
Barista: Would you like an extra shot of coffee or perhaps some soy milk or hazlenut?
Me: No thanks
Barista: So one regular tall black coffee
Me: In a regular cup
Barista: ...... will that be all sir?
Me (if I'm in a really nasty mood): Can I change my order to a grande soy latte to go? Throw in one of those cookies while you're at it, thanks. Here's my point card which is full, so this is on you guys, right? Cheers mate, thanks very much.

I make a better cup of coffee than Starfucks for about 2 cents on the dollar.

Fuck em.

I'd rather drink Guiness.

It pisses me off that I can't order a plain coffee anymore. Everything is tall/late/soy/flat/frappa/cappa/mocha/cream/vente....

When I'm in western countries I like to fuck with idiot Baristas who think they're performing something more artistic than pouring hot liquid into a cup.

Me: Give me a coffee please
Barista: What, sorry?
Me: Coffee, in a cup
Barista: Our menu is above the counter sir...
Me: That's good, I'll have a coffee
Barista: Uh, American blend or house blend
Me: Coffee, in a cup. Regular.
Barista: Regular size, sir?
Me: Regular coffee
Barista: What flavor?
Me: Regular, just a plain coffee, don't forget the cup
Barista: That is called a tall black, sir..
Me: Good. I'll have one of those, then
Barista: What size would you like
Me: Normal cup size.
Barista: We offer regular, tall, vente and grande
Me: Regular is a normal coffee mug?
Barista: Yes sir
Me: OK.
Barista: Would you like sugar or milk with that?
Me: No thanks
Barista: Would you like an extra shot of coffee or perhaps some soy milk or hazlenut?
Me: No thanks
Barista: So one regular tall black coffee
Me: In a regular cup
Barista: ...... will that be all sir?
Me (if I'm in a really nasty mood): Can I change my order to a grande soy latte to go? Throw in one of those cookies while you're at it, thanks. Here's my point card which is full, so this is on you guys, right? Cheers mate, thanks very much.

Oh that's good. Thanks for the early morning laugh.

Especially effective when I'm traveling in America with my rocking Kiwi twang.

I'd rather drink Guinness.

Coffee makes me jittery and I get all 28-days later-like. I can down a plain, black coffee or iced mocha when it beckons to me.

Frankly I think the idea of drinking coffee for energy is a joke when there are amphetamines available.  Now taste is a different story.......mmmmmm, dunkin donuts brand (whole bean, ground at home) with cream and sugar.  Good shit.

I drink coffee to wake up in the morning not to chase down gazelles or transform into Techno Viking (although that would be pretty fucking cool). Amphetamines may be more potent, but they're a bit much...
As far as taste goes, I agree it's important, but as far as I can see that's pretty much the best reason [/i]not[/i] to muddle it all up with sugar and milk. If I want a milkshake I'll go to the DQ.

I drink coffee to wake up in the morning not to chase down gazelles or transform into Techno Viking (although that would be pretty fucking cool). Amphetamines may be more potent, but they're a bit much...
As far as taste goes, I agree it's important, but as far as I can see that's pretty much the best reason [/i]not[/i] to muddle it all up with sugar and milk. If I want a milkshake I'll go to the DQ.

Well it doesn't necessarily have to be "a bit much" if you, for example, were to take a therapeutic dose (likely just one capsule) of any time released prescription amphetamine.  Try that and then tell me caffeine is better.  There is a world of difference between taking a therapeutic dose of amphetamine and popping a hand full of pills.

I look at coffee like I do chocolate.  They both have a delicious flavor but are very bitter and not that pleasant alone (in my opinion).  And just like I don't understand the appeal of dark chocolate, I don't understand the appeal of coffee without cream and sugar.  Milk chocolate and coffee with cream and sugar FTW.

Ask a white crackwhore the appeal of dark chocolate.

And just like I don't understand the appeal of dark chocolate

That's because you are retarded.
I can agree with bagman on one thing, Guinness is awesome.

Ok Guiness is not awesome.

Guiness is better than coffee, but that's about it.

Yeah yeah, I understand the blasphemy I have just commited, being Irish and all. But I am Protestant.

Guinness is awesome and Fuck You

The Guinness is pretty damn good.

I was Dr Kaffeine !

There was a drive by poster at A-S for a short while who I wanted to fuck with so I ferreted out his real identity and then found he sometimes used that name on another board. So I stole it and used it against him at A-S. He was completely taken by surprise and got supper pissed off. I even stole the sig he had used with it, *Coffee is Food*.

That was sort of fun.

Yeah, I really like coffee too, never start the day without it.

Ok Guiness is not awesome.

Guiness is better than coffee.

I am Protestant.

Those are probably the only three offensive things an Irishman could say to me. I can't believe you said them all in one post. It's so over.

Dang.... I did that all in ONE post?

I know. Normally it would take you two or three days to reach that level of offense. You've put a knife through my heart, Ian.

Through my fucking heart...

They should offer caffeinated Guinness.

And just like I don't understand the appeal of dark chocolate

That's because you are retarded.
I can agree with bagman on one thing, Guinness is awesome.

I'd rather be retarded than look retarded.  And Guinness is like drinking sewage.

You are retarded and you look retarded. So there!

I know. Normally it would take you two or three days to reach that level of offense. You've put a knife through my heart, Ian.

Through my fucking heart...

I'll see if I can smuggle some Coopers with me in October... just for you.

Alrighty then!

You are retarded and you look retarded. So there!

I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you (probably due to being covered with hobo jizz), so 

Guinness > coffee.

The St. James's Gate Storehouse was fucking awesome!

When I worked two jobs the past year, the only thing that got me through the first 3 hours of every morning was a tall can of:  Red Bull, Full Throttle, or Amp Energy Drink.  Truly these are the lubricant of the modern economy.

I dunno if its available in the US, but the beverage of choice along those lines here is a Kiwi drink called V.

Beats the shit out of Red Bull.

I've had V in England. Good stuff!

I dunno if its available in the US, but the beverage of choice along those lines here is a Kiwi drink called V.

Beats the shit out of Red Bull.

V huh?

Drinking energy drinks is ridiculous.  Most taste like sour asshole and they are expensive as fuck.  You're better off getting caffeine pills which cost a fraction of the price and buying a drink that actually tastes good.  Let's say an energy drink costs about $3, and you take $3 and decided to buy any other (better tasting) average priced drink in the cooler and used the rest of the money on generic caffeine pills to put in your drink and drank that at work.  Well you wouldn't be getting much work done because you put about 15 200mg caffeine pills in your drink and fucking OD'd cuz it's like drinking 15 energy drinks at once.  Think about that if you buy energy drinks often.  You're wasting tons of cash when you could just go to a pharmacy and buy a 60 count bottle for 7 bucks.

I dunno if its available in the US, but the beverage of choice along those lines here is a Kiwi drink called V.

Beats the shit out of Red Bull.

Real Red Bull beats the shit out of this American shit. Now even Canada has switched to this carbonated bullshit, but nothing beats the original formulation. It was one of the few energy drinks that did not taste - to use Danzig's term - like sour asshole. The best was that there were some 20-30 ingredients written in Thai and then 4 for the English side: Sugar, Water, Artificial flavours, Vitamin C. As if anyone believed that. Funny how I drink this Vitamin C concoction and somehow magically stay up all night. Placebo?

The only energy drink that really got me going, though was that Bawls Guarana stuff. Man. I drank one before getting on an 8-hour greyhound trip and then had another one with lunch. Fuck. I was like a caged animal.

V!

LOL,  "Tru-Blood"

The only energy drink that really got me going, though was that Bawls Guarana stuff. Man. I drank one before getting on an 8-hour greyhound trip and then had another one with lunch. Fuck. I was like a caged animal.

Guarana is a fruit out of Brazil, I think.  They pronounce it "gwar-ah-NAH".
And it's pretty good.  but yes, strong.

Guarana is a fruit out of Brazil, I think.  They pronounce it "GWAR-ah-NAH".

I am drinking some coffee right now. Good stuff.

Man, coffee is the bomb.

I too can't stand those energy drinks. They taste like a 10 year old crushed up a roll of smarties and mixed them with some water.

I can't drink coffee.  It makes me lose my focus.

Red Bull tastes like "Strawberry" sour punch straws.

I like to chug a Red Bull just before I start a workout.

I mix Red Bull and Sprite to get through late-night deploys.

Carefully balanced, two cans of redbull and two liters of Sprite can get me from 11pm to 7am with only a little edge, and a ton of focus to be able to pick out launch defects.

I like to chug a Red Bull just before I start a workout.

I hope you use sugar-free Red Bull, otherwise you might be hurting the total impact of your workout.

I don't play that sugar-free shit. And I also don't work out only to burn calories. My main objectives are getting stronger and fitter. I don't mind having a bit of a belly if I can kick someone's ass or fuck for hours.

Sugar free is bullshit.

Tastes like ass, and probably is worse for you than sugar anyways.

I didn't sleep last night.  Not sure why, just couldn't.  I think I maybe am a little too high strung and possibly need to cut back on my caffeine consumption a little bit.  Should sleep well tonight anyways.  Wrote a paper this morning in lieu of sleeping.  Pretty solid overall.

I had the equivalent of 4 cups of coffee today. Christ. I probably won't sleep well tonight.

4 cups? Man I do that in one sitting immediately out of bed just so I can have the energy to make myself my 2 pre-activity "good morning" cups. I need to either A)cut back or B)Go the Danzig route.

Man, a few years back I used to drink at least a pot a day.

With about six diet cokes.

4 cups is a pot for me. I have a small pot...

I have an espresso most morning at work. That is the single bonus of being in a French firm

4 cups is a pot for me. I have a small pot...

I have the same one! But in mine 2 "cups" actally only fills up my normal sized coffee mug.

Man, a few years back I used to drink at least a pot a day.

Nothing to do with coffee, but in Victoria a 285ml glass of beer is referred to as a pot.

A 450ml glass is a schooner.

I dont know why. It is just that way.

why would you even be ordering beers in those quantities??

where I'm from, you order in units of 1L, commonly known as a jug. When I was at varsity I would drink 4-5 and crawl home on my eyeballs

450 ml is just under 16 ounces, so that one makes sense. I'm stumped at the 285 ml glass. It's kinda like the glass they give you to pour your bottle of beer into at restaurants, but why would you order a 9 oz beer?

I bet you did. That's a lot!

A 450ml glass is a schooner.

It's not a schooner, it's a sailboat.

pansy

450 ml is just under 16 ounces, so that one makes sense. I'm stumped at the 285 ml glass. It's kinda like the glass they give you to pour your bottle of beer into at restaurants, but why would you order a 9 oz beer?

In Cologne, the local custom is 200ml glasses. The idea is that you have a dude constantly walking around with a tray of full glasses, and when he sees a and empty glass he automatically replaces it. Customer thinks he's not drinking much, but before you know it you've sunk 4 litres of the stuff.

Or at least I did.

Jugs here are 1.2 litres. And they come with the same results as Nick's jug consumption.

fuck your drunk thread niggaz! i'm in diz bitch now!

Experimental evidence that Siko is smart:
http://www.humankinetics.com/IJSNEM/viewarticle.cfm?jid=X3bL8v6LX2jC2x8vX8fU7sjhX3gW7zLxX3vC73tFX7uE32YnX&aid=16911&site=X3bL8v6LX2jC2x8vX8fU7sjhX3gW7zLxX3vC73tFX7uE32YnX

The results suggest that caffeine ingestion is associated with a moderate hypoalgesic effect during high-intensity cycling in college-age men who are low or high habitual caffeine consumers...

I can't drink coffee.  It makes me lose my focus.

You drank my coffee and loved it, bitch.

Red Bull makes me want to puke.

>>They should offer caffeinated Guinness.<<

Buzz Beer! The Horndogs favorite brew.

I can't drink coffee.  It makes me lose my focus.

You drank my coffee and loved it, bitch.

And how focused was I?!

Laserlike?

I busted out an energy drink at like 10pm.  So it's like almost 5am and I'm still wired.  At least I'm getting some homework done.

That's not caffeine.
Energy drinks belong in the ephedrine thread.