It pisses me off that I can't order a plain coffee anymore. Everything is tall/late/soy/flat/frappa/cappa/mocha/cream/vente....
When I'm in western countries I like to fuck with idiot Baristas who think they're performing something more artistic than pouring hot liquid into a cup.
Me: Give me a coffee please
Barista: What, sorry?
Me: Coffee, in a cup
Barista: Our menu is above the counter sir...
Me: That's good, I'll have a coffee
Barista: Uh, American blend or house blend
Me: Coffee, in a cup. Regular.
Barista: Regular size, sir?
Me: Regular coffee
Barista: What flavor?
Me: Regular, just a plain coffee, don't forget the cup
Barista: That is called a tall black, sir..
Me: Good. I'll have one of those, then
Barista: What size would you like
Me: Normal cup size.
Barista: We offer regular, tall, vente and grande
Me: Regular is a normal coffee mug?
Barista: Yes sir
Me: OK.
Barista: Would you like sugar or milk with that?
Me: No thanks
Barista: Would you like an extra shot of coffee or perhaps some soy milk or hazlenut?
Me: No thanks
Barista: So one regular tall black coffee
Me: In a regular cup
Barista: ...... will that be all sir?
Me (if I'm in a really nasty mood): Can I change my order to a grande soy latte to go? Throw in one of those cookies while you're at it, thanks. Here's my point card which is full, so this is on you guys, right? Cheers mate, thanks very much.
« Last Edit: March 05, 2009, 04:38:56 AM by underclass »
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Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.