innuendo
I'll volunteer to be your first.
You mean you want to be slapped around? Cool, I guess it can be sort of a turn on in certain circumstances.
I've smacked a bitch, but to be fair she smacked me first.
Exactfuckingly, she hit me in the face with a magazine first.
Although that was in response to me pouring my cup of coffee on her side of the bed.
I did it so she would have to sleep on the couch instead of me.
But it gets more interesting at this point because I jump up and round the bed to face her.
Now I certainly have no intention of hurting her in any way physical but I wanted her to understand I could if I wanted.
I reached out quickly and just barely slapped her on the cheek. She said something like "you can't do that" so I did it again.
Simple male domination tactic, agreed.
She pushed me back and started out the door, I grabbed her arm and she pulled, and because I was behind the door at this point the door closed between us. In the process she got a small bruise on her head, a completely accidental impact with the door jamb and I got my thumb caught in the door as she then pulled it shut behind her. She had no marks whatsoever from my slaps. And this is important because I was only slapping her in a playful manner to start with.
Cops come, she has a tiny bruise so I'm the bad guy. Never mind that my thumbnail fell off less than two days later in lockup. I never had a chance to balance out her tiny bruise with my injury but that was not the point of the prosecution.
Their only agenda was to find me guilty and nullify my constitutional rights.You always have to plead no contest because otherwise if you force a trial they give you two years for a first offense.
Plead no contest and they let you out today. See bolded text for explanation.