I think about how much I used to be able to put away (and how much i did put away), and it amazes me that I did not become Shane McGowan.
Man, I put away too fuckin' much. Despite putting away less than I'm inclined to, cuz of being aware that I can/do put away way too fuckin' much.
Sometimes I feel like I'd love to quit drinking almost entirely, but I still love drinking and have yet to get to the point where quitting seems like the best plan of action. Sure, with the amount of time I spend working out, and with how generally healthily I eat, if I were to not drink, I could be pretty fucking fit, but then what? I could live a life of deprivation and be of sound body, but I'd be depriving my mind (or at least my mind's desire to branch off from the world of sobriety) and belly of the pleasures that make life a pretty fuckin' nice gig.
As usual I remain torn, and will wake up tomorrow in a state of being fat, but strong. Fit, but often pretty lazy. Energized in healthy ways, but also enthusiastiac about having a few drinks and chilling the fuck out and feeling like I've earned it, despite basically just perpetuating the cycle.
And this all sounds sorta like I'm feeling sorry for myself, right? Wrong. I love my live, am fairly satisfied with my level of fitness, and don't give much of a fuck about how I look. I could be a helluva lot worse off.