Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!
General Category => Discontempt => Topic started by: mosh on March 10, 2009, 07:18:33 AM
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'Ninja' kangaroo terrorises family in bedMarch 10, 2009 - 2:16PM
Not a bird, or a plane, but a kangaroo has crashed through the bedroom window of a Canberra family's home before terrorising its unsuspecting occupants.
The family, from the suburb of Garran in Canberra's south, were awoken in the early hours of Sunday morning when their pet dog began barking from the garden.
Moments later, a kangaroo burst through a three-metre high window of the house's master bedroom and onto the bed where Beat Ettlin, his partner Verity Beman and their nine-year-old daughter Beatrix lay.
"My initial thought when I was half awake was: it's a lunatic ninja coming through the window," Mr Ettlin told The Associated Press.
"It seems about as likely as a kangaroo breaking in."
While the family took refuge under the blankets, the injured animal proceeded to jump on top of them, gouging holes in the furniture and smearing blood all over the walls.
The next thing Mr Ettlin heard was his 10-year-old son Leighton screaming from his bed: "There's a 'roo in my room!'"
"I thought, this can be really dangerous for the whole family now," the 42-year-old said.
A chef, originally from the Swiss city of Stans, Mr Ettlin followed the thrashing and bleeding two metre tall marsupial and wrestled it into a headlock before dragging it down the hallway and out the front door.
Left wearing just his shredded underpants and with scratch marks on his leg and buttocks, Mr Ettlin described himself as "lucky".
"I had just my Bonds undies on. I felt vulnerable," he said.
As quickly as it had come, the kangaroo vanished into a nearby reserve and the family reported the intrusion to police and wildlife authorities.
Ms Beman praised her husband's courage and said she didn't know many men who would go head-to-head with a kangaroo.
"I think he's a hero, a hero in Bonds undies," she said.
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"My initial thought when I was half awake was: it's a lunatic ninja coming through the window," Mr Ettlin told The Associated Press.
Oh yeah, I've heard about those Aussie ninjas terroizing everyone.....??? The first thing that pops into this persons mind when something breaks through the window is that it's a ninja? Not a burglar, or a bird, or something that exists in modern day?
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Man that's great! I need me some Bond undies. What a plug!
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That guy should have tore the roo's scrote off and made a change purse out of it.
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Love it, Bonds Undies
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http://www.mlive.com/northwestadvance/index.ssf/2008/12/whitetailed_deer_surprises_stu.html (http://www.mlive.com/northwestadvance/index.ssf/2008/12/whitetailed_deer_surprises_stu.html)
from the article:
"I was reading "City of Embers" to the class when all of the sudden something came crashing through the window," she said. "I yelled for the kids to get down and get out of the classroom and they got out into the hall and closed the door behind them."
Administrative Assistant Patti Aldred was in her office in the main office when the deer came through the window down the hall.
"I wasn't sure if a bomb had gone off it was so loud, or if a car had gone through the side of the building the windows in my office shook so much," she said. Aldred said she didn't have much time to react before several students came running into the office shouting that there was a deer in their classroom.
The buck smashed around in the room for perhaps a minute, Venlet said. While it was in the room it overturned desks and chairs, cracked one of the room's two fish tanks and did other minor damage, even breaking off three points from its antlers, before exiting the room through the same window it entered.
the deer don't fuck around up here. they are taking back their land by force. the native americans ought to take a page of the this deer's book.
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Is this like a funny ad for Bonds undies or something?
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I'm wearing Bonds right now.
They hold my scrote just right, the perfect superhero garb for fighting rouge kangaroo's.
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Mosh, sunrise would consider you to be un-australian.
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I'm wearing Bonds right now.
They hold my scrote just right, the perfect superhero garb for fighting rouge kangaroo's.
kangarogues.
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Mosh, sunrise would consider you to be un-australian.
Which one's Sunrise? Koch and Doyle? Or the other 2? I forget.
I'd nail Melissa Doyle, tho. I'd make her wear my Bonds on her head while I nailed her.
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Mosh, sunrise would consider you to be un-australian.
Which one's Sunrise? Koch and Doyle? Or the other 2? I forget.
I'd nail Melissa Doyle, tho. I'd make her wear my Bonds on her head while I nailed her.
K and D.
id go for the news reader, Natalie Bar
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I'd make her wear my Bonds on her head while I nailed her.
This is inspired. I'm doing that next time I'm with woman. I'm going to buy some Bonds specifically for the occasion.
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This is inspired. I'm doing that next time I'm with woman. I'm going to buy some Bonds specifically for the occasion.
Communist !
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Nice rack but she looks mannish. And I bet she has a really annoying accent.
(http://www.rawrimages.com/MelissaDoyle-rawrimages-002.JPG/MelissaDoyle-rawrimages-002-full.jpg)
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Dont all Aussies have annoying accents?
My personal favourite is Sandra Sully. That be a sweet piece of trim.
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Dont all Aussies have annoying accents?
Not you Ian... never you...
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Mosh - Is the brand power woman in your top 5 ?
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You have no idea how badly I want to punch Sally Williams in the face with sharpend brass knuckles.
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Seems she does make one of your top 5 lists.
why the hate.
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Because I hate the products she pushes, and I hate her empty smile. She's so vapid that if someone farted at her, she'd simply dissapate.
But most of all I hate her because she was the originator of Brand Power ads.
And before you ask, I hate all those other infomercially type ads with the other vapid talking head types.
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hating annoying people is OK man, it's OK
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I didnt know those adds were her fault.
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Yeah, I think she took Rosemary Margen's tired wornout formula and breathed fresh annoyance and putridness into it.
I think you probably guessed by now I dont watch much TV.
SBS on a Saturday evening is about as much as I can stand.
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I didn't even think to guess.
Sat night for prototype this or are you just talking about the t and a later on.
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Iron Chef and RockWiz...
Julia Zamiro is hotness.
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(http://images.theage.com.au/ftage/ffximage/2008/10/17/Julia_Zemiro_070321114719353_wideweb__300x375.jpg)
(http://music.ninemsn.com.au/img/promo/special/bestof2007/juliazemiro.jpg)
(http://www.theage.com.au/ffximage/2006/12/06/zemiro_wideweb__470x356,0.jpg)
I'm not feelin' it, man ...
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Nah, man, you gotta see her work a room.
Tis awesome.
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Like, as in a gangbang?
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Well she's French, so maybe.
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W3rd ...