because looking for my idea of a decent roommate never pans out the way i hope, i'm looking to find a total piece of shit human being to answer my ad this time. just maybe s/he will:

1. not steal money or stuff from me and my family
2. clean up after himself
3. not be a functioning alcoholic
4. not be a chainsmoker and leave butts all over my deck
5. not move out after 3 months

my current flatmate is leaving in two weeks because he got a great job offer in nyc. this is a totally acceptable reason for leaving (and in his defense, he never stole anything from me or my family) but now i'm fucked again, going into the slow season at work. any of you people looking to move to the beach? throw a winter wetsuit and booties on and the swimming's great through to the spring! and although there have been quite a few great whites hanging out in the waters lately, i'm sure any of you could handle them. also: i often like to waltz around the apartment in my favorite outfit, a bra and panties.

please send replies/inquiries to:

hip
c/o loaded-gun.com

Who wants to put this on CL ?

Done and done.

I also added that being over 40, unshaven, unwashed and a registered sex offender were acceptable qualities...

(total piece of shit human being)


1. will not steal money or stuff from me and my family
2. will clean up after himself
...3. is a functioning alcoholic...
...4. is a chainsmoker...
5. will not move out after 3 months

Well, three outta five ain't bad. Can't be there till early November tho...

What about a regular-type alcoholic? Is the functioning part the problem?

3&4 have been issues due to: random psycho crazy drunken outbursts resulting in damage of property and noise complaints, and cigarettes being either smoked inside the apartment or when outside, the butts get thrown all over the deck and shared yard area. an ashtray is a quick fix to this problem, unless you are one of my last two roommates who never grasped the concept.

burny: if you are looking for a change, this could be it! my lease extends through september '10, when i am leaving, but my landlord would probably be willing to extend it to and for any roommate i may have at that time who wanted to stay longer. $500+ util. 

I would love go! Let me just ask my wife

No hip. That would not be funtional if hell was raised. What part of California?

My roommate is a complete flake who owes me hundreds of dollars and doesn't clean up after herself.  You completely described her in your five point list actually.  Anyhoo, how about you move down here and rent from me.  $400/mo

No hip. That would not be funtional if hell was raised. What part of California?

wrong coast, my man.  She's in the Mass, I believe.

Isn't she in P-Town on the cape?

you wish i was, sucking the toes of all the lipstick lesbians at the vixen.

i'm on cape cod, about half an hour from provincetown. as for moving to austin: my boyfriend would want us to move there in a heartbeat if it weren't for his son living in rhode island with his mom. this is why a move to providence is on the horizon. just have to figure out the roommate situation until september of next year so i can better afford my move when it happens.

sucking the toes of all the lipstick lesbians at the vixen.

Pics please.

East Coast is better than west anyway... but Austin is, well, Austin. I have more fun there than I did in Europe. It's all going to come down to jobs I guess. I think I may be able to pull some security work at Room 710 (which could turn into a bartending job me hopes) maybe Trophy's too during shows, and a friend of mine is trying to get me on at Joe's, if I dont have to clean myself up too much... That's a small start, but probably not enough for car payment (308, ins 100+ after it goes up from the wreck) AND rent yet, which is why I was going to stay in the car for a month or so... Cape Cod is very appealing, but a long shot unless they're paying really well up there. Economy gone to shit in Mass hip?

Room 710 just closed

Oh fuck!

I don't mean to make light, Burny, but I think I found your song:

Reverend Horton Heat - Galaxie 500

Room 710 just closed

Room 710 just closed

Well crap.

Oh fuck!

I don't mean to make light, Burny, but I think I found your song:

HA! Thats fucking great. The Reverend is one of Texas' favorite sons too.

The Murder City Devils have a good song about living in your car, I'll have to find it.

HA! Thats fucking great. The Reverend is one of Texas' favorite sons too.

The Murder City Devils have a good song about living in your car, I'll have to find it.

The Reverend is awesome! We saw him and Nekromantix this year in Reno, kickass show.

And re: songs about living in cars, there's always the UK Subs...

UK Subs - I Live In A Car & Warhead

One thing: GG ALLIN!!!