I'm getting drug tested for my new job tomorrow.  I'm sick of all you drug using degenerates having fun and all that shit.

So seriously what do I need to know to pass this thing?

Your dad's urine.

drink more and smoke not at all?

Yeah, the surefire way is to not smoke for a while.

I think it's funny that it's easier to get away with recreational use of much harder drugs than weed when it comes to drug testing.  Marijuana can be detected up to a month after use, depending on various factors.  Most other drugs aren't picked up more than a few days after use, so if you decided to snort some coke on a Thursday night then went to a drug test on Monday morning, odds are in your favor because you're towards the tail end of detection time.

So seriously what do I need to know to pass this thing?

The answer to all of the questions is P.

If you're an occasional weed smoker you can pass a test within a few days if you just drink like 8-10 glasses of water a day. Most chain drugstores also sell take at home test for around $20. You can always test yourself and see where you stand.

Nah I hadn't smoked any weed since a new year's eve party.  I'm sure everything is clean.

drink more and smoke not at all?

This is clearly the answer.

Get a job where they don't care what you do so long as you don't do it on company time?

Don't smoke weed.

I'm getting drug tested for my new job tomorrow.  I'm sick of all you drug using degenerates having fun and all that shit.

So seriously what do I need to know to pass this thing?

Well for one stop being a drug using degenerate and put down that crack stem.
Next step is go steal (or buy, your choice loser) some Niacin from wallyworld.
Get out 10 pills and crush them up into a fine dust. Get a gallon of water and mix well.
And I mean mix damn well until you can't see the particles anymore.
If you just take 10 pills you'll have a lot of bad reactions fast.
Start drinking, no need to chug, but finish that shit. Than continue drinking water, the rest of the day.
You'll itch, turn a little red, burn a bit, and some. But its worth it to knock out all the shit in your system.
Works fast, and is easy to obtain. Otherwise use fake piss called "Magnum" you can obtain at headshops.
I used that while I was on probation these past 6 months but no need now that I'm off.
Now get to it son. Oh, and this forum owns.