my sister in law is a raging pain in the ass whose latest offense is that she's woven herself and her stupid, unwanted opinion into and around a little argument my mother and i had a few weeks ago. i'm highly irritated, and seriously offended by a few things she's said to mutual friends outside the family, which is simply not okay.

i've recently learned of some supposed shadiness from this girl's life before she moved here and married my brother. this brings me to the point. i want to find out what her mysterious past is all about, and i don't really want to pay for one of those online people-info-search sites. any suggestions?

My suggestion is change the thread title to 'Want Information'.

Email all of her information to bagman.

Ask your brother about it.

Email all of her information to bagman.

Email all of her information to bagman.

or, give me her info, i'm pretty good at internet sleuthing.

Ask your brother about it.

i tried, as did his best friend (my current roomie, who is more like a brother to me than my own at times). brother basically says he's not sure of much about her past, and despite the unresolved (did i say: SERIOUSLY SHADY) shit that just didn't add up from the very beginning, he decided then not to push it and not to ask her to clear everything up with explanations, and love who he saw in her and build from there.

that's all well and good for him, but this shady stuff of hers may or may not include a prior marriage and other child from said marriage, all stuff that would've happened before she moved to massachusetts from texas. hearing the possibility of this raises all sorts of questions for me that makes me worried for my little niece's future.

With that extra info, I say you shouldnt be posting anymore about it in public.

What does this have to do with you and your mom? Or is this just revenge?

my mom and i, who are normally quite close, had an argument a few weeks back where she was incredibly upset over something not-so-life-or-death, but i very strongly disagreed with her point of view and in expressing that fact to her, only served to make her more upset and subsequently hang up on me in a fit. we hadn't spoken until today, but over the last few weeks i've heard that my sister in-law, who was completely uninvolved in both the coversation and the context thereof) has been harassing my roommate to pump me for info about the fight, or to tell me to "grow up and stop being so childish", when 1. She doesn't know what i actually said to my mother (MY mother, i wish to remind her), and 2. to which roommate/bro's best buddy replies by repeatedly asking her to leave him out of it. she hasn't respected this request one bit. She's said some other highly offensive things about me since the discussion i had with my mother. the other night over a few drinks, my roommate asked me to vault up some information he wanted to tell me, and i obliged (in the vault, as in do not repeat any of this to my family). it had to do with his ex-girlfriend finding some info about her having a whole family life before moving here, that she has never told us, but denied (sort of, it's difficult to explain) to my brother.

basically, if there is any truth to the rumors about her past, i wanna know.
  

Check for Texas missing persons...or missing criminals.

sounds like she has an ego and some emotional issues... give people like that enough rope and she'll hang herself. Hopefully she doesn't do any damage in the meantime.

Also, your brother should be defending you

He could be protecting her secret. For all anybody knows she was an abused spouse whos child died of sids. ~shrug.

say that were the case. upsetting or not, why would you hide and lie about such things to your new hsband and his family? Mind you, at 26 she's renounced her own family. it's all as though she's running away from some bad secrets.

I was not aware she had lied to R.

 .. where im heading with my thoughts....he's seriously protecting her..lying to others about it. (her past and whatnot). I really dont know.

You need to really plan this one out. Dont even bother to tell fam about what you want to do. Even if you have discussed it with them. jUst yeah. nm. I can so many ways the fam could split (you, R, parents) if you get/do this wrong.

I hope somebody has sent you a pm on where to start. Births, Deaths and Marriages would be my starting point.

also the names registry, or wherever people can change names

In the US you can change your name just by, uh, changing your name. Legally changing it is optional.

Cripes, i don't know where to start...

If what happened was so hurtful to her that she just could NOT have to speak of it to (basically) strangers, at the very beginning, and got caught in an immininently forgivable "white lie,"

you are SO going to be left with (absolutely ROTTEN) egg all over your face...

On her horning in on your mom, well, if you haven't talked to your mom in 2 weeks or so, maybe your mom got lonesome?

Also, a lot depends on what the original argument was about as to whether your bro is right or wrong in not supporting you.  (i.e., your bro is a Christian, who feels strongly about Pro-Life, and your argument with your mom was that you told her you were pregnant, she sort of freaked, you reassured her that you would be having an abortion, not a grandchild, and she blew a gasket ~ and your bro just doesn't agree with your decision.  Like that.)

It also occurs to me that you may not want something this personal just "out there," in an open forum.

Mosh?  Did you ever make your super-secret-uber-hide-out forum?  NOW might be a good time to share it with the older membership...

Sometimes you have to embrace the past and let it go.  Maybe she had a shitty past.  Can she not start new without you wanting to dig into her past?  Maybe she's an annoying bitch because of trauma she endured over the loss of a child from a previous marriage, who knows?

Id like my Aunt to be sus.


No matter what way I type it; it comes out sounding odd.

it sounds like you're from Invegargill and talking about a female sibling

I'm gonna side with Sasha. Unless you think she murdered someone or is a con artist, probably best to let it be.

Sorry katie, but I dont care.

hahaha

i haven't discussed this with anyone but my boyfriend, who agreed it's suspicious, as is her style of how fast they got married and had a baby and how she now seems to always have a way of egging on rifts between my folks and i wheneer there's a difference of opinion. she also hasn't worked at her part-time job since she got pregnant, and my neice's 1st birthday is this month. she's happy as a pig in shit to mooch off my parents' groceries, let my brother work his ass off to try to support her dr.pepper+fried chicken habit (i mentioned she's from houston?), and essentially have my parents raise and coddle that baby because she talks and acts as though she expects the baby to sit around being quiet and entertaining herself. then to me she will proclaim that she plans on living at my parents' house for the next six or seven years, you know, so the second baby she plans on having will have started school by then, and until that time, my mom can continue to act as a live-in babysitter and my parents' fridge will keep them all fed.

 i have tried to form ANY kind of bond with this girl, despite our huge personality and morality differences. not once has my phone rang by her number. and you people may not get this about me, but i am THE girl anyone i know would first look to to take care of their children of any age. I absolutely love children, and i'm extremely good with them. Never once have i ever given this girl even the slightest indication that i would mistreat the baby in any way. so the thing that pushed me over the edge was that she told my roommate she didn't want me at the house (again, it's my folks' house, where my high school bedroom still exists) and she doesn't want me around the baby. the baby absolutely lights up at the mere sight of me, and i love to make her giggle her little head off. she has expressed jealousy of my connection with the baby, but in all honesty, i've not once seen the girl even smile at that child. she's always got a miserable expression and her attitude about the whole thing is worse. not my baby, not my life, but there's only so much i can really just stand by watching her do things i think are destructive to that child. keeping her up til all different hours waiting for my brother to get home so she doesn't have to e the one to put the baby down because it gets to the point where the baby is screaming bloody murder when she's involved. visiting my restaurant and letting the eleven month old eat an entire basket of french fries and not packing fucking baby food.

the best part is how patronizing she is towards me. i generally stay mum and ignore it, because as she tells me how i need to grow up and get my life together, all i have to do is think of hers to remind myself she's a stunted fucking moron. but there's the baby... i wonder if my brother feels trapped in the marriage. i'm most worried that if she's so quck to say she doesn't want me to be around the baby (godmother katie, by the way) what's to stop her from taking off with the baby if she and my brother have issues?     

and you people may not get this about me, but i am THE girl anyone i know would first look to to take care of their children of any age. I absolutely love children,

This is the reason i am taking a slightly more serious attitude with this thread.

i wonder if my brother feels trapped in the marriage

and that's where I was going next. He may know things you dont and doesnt want to increase the risk by pushing (talking about it with others) it.


Does he still have that gentle giant thing going on ?

so the thing that pushed me over the edge was that she told my roommate she didn't want me at the house (again, it's my folks' house, where my high school bedroom still exists) and she doesn't want me around the baby.

OK I think that would get to me too. This kind of quasi-brood parasitism is pretty vile.

I take it back. Garrote the bitch with the piano wire in the servants' quarters and let us wash our hands of this low-rent gypsy-grifter.

Sounds like he married my ex-wife.

I just had to do it.

PM me the names you know of, and I'll look into it/see if my friend will run NCIC with it ...