Two weeks ago, and very abruptly, my pubic region got attacked by a swarm of small, nodule-like bumps. There was no itching or discomfort associated with said bumps, until I started tearing them off, one-by-one. At first I thought maybe I just had a bad case of folliculitis or some weird rash. But it didn't go away, and the little nodule things scared me.
So I made an appointment at a local clinic, and met up with the doc bright and early this morning. You know it's going to be a great day when you have to describe to a female nurse that you have bumps around your dick, and that you have had unprotected sex multiple times over a period of time. Then it only gets better when you have your junk and the area around your junk groped by another man. Just the way I want to spend my days. There is nothing like the touch of a man in the morning.
It turns out I have something called Molloscum Contagiosum, which as the doctor put it is a "non-std std". It is usually transmittted from skin-to-skin contact, and in adults it's almost always spread via sexual activity. The doc said it should go away in 6 - 8 weeks and it doesn't affect anything other than the skin (it's a skin virus). It shouldn't have any long-term affects, but it is contagious while the bumps exist, so I will have to remain celibate for a period of time. (SHIT!) As I was laying back on the exam chair, and I hear the doctor say "Molloscum" my mind went numb, and I didn't hear another word coming out of his mouth for the next 5 minutes. I was in utter fear, never having heard that term before and not knowing what it was or how it was going to affect my life. He could tell I was completely blanked out, because he said "I see you're a little out of it" and had to re-tell me all the information he was giving me as I floated about in my mind, literally drowing in fear. Then he brought in a liquid nitrogen can and froze/burned off the last two I had remaining. (I'd torn off about 8 of them).
So it's not as bad as it could have been. Either Sasha or Dylan and I could have been singing "Row, row, row your boat..." together.
Yes, I did tell my FWB today, because honesty is cool. I must have gotten it from her, with the time frame that I gave the doctor and the average incubation period of the virus. She is disappointed that we won't be able to act out the schoolgirl/teacher fetish that both of us have. I think all guys have a schoolgirl fetish, but when she told me the other night that she has a teacher fetish... wow, just wow. Please little fuckers, go away quickly! She's going to make an appointment and do her sexual health screening too, which we should have both done from the get-go.
Anyway I'll find out the results of my other tests (HIV,etc) in two weeks.
I'll see you guys then. Unless I have HIV, in which case...
I failed my first STD exam.