The saga continues...

I'm glad I woke up with all my teeth and my penis intact. My earlobes hurt fiercely.

Last night I went out to some SxSw festivities, and ended up at this old Salvation Army building where some sick and twisted electronica was being spun. I was fairly stupid, and texted "J" to see what she was up to. She was downtown and had been drinking for hours already. I was drinking my Lonestar and had a Pabst ready for her when she got to the venue.

The place was bleeding hipster. Austin is so "fucking hip" when SxSw is here.

Anyway, she snuck in a bottle of orange rum and we drank the whole fucking bottle in like 45 minutes. I didn't really know what to expect would happen when I saw her. I ended up driving her to my place instead of back to her car at her friend's house.

I don't remember getting home, nor really much of anything after that until this morning. We had more beers apparently because all the booze in my fridge is gone, and empty bottles aplenty. I think I must have puked in the sinkk, because there was some half-digested taco cabana chip pieces on the counter this morning.

Also, I see no condoms or condom packaging anywhere, but the lube is out. I hope she didn't try to extract revenge on me by getting her knocked up or something. I'm not too worried, because I probably had the worst whiskey dick on the planet last night, and can't blow inside anyway! Talk about an airtight insurance policy.

But check it out. She fucked me up bad. My back/neck feels bent out of shape, and I have bruises, scratches, scrapes, and scabs all over. She didn't even apologize this morning when I drove her to her car. She did offer to buy me some cover up makeup though. Thoughtful. She also kept saying "this wasn't supposed to happen" like 5 times this morning. Whatever it's not like she tried to stop me from coming back to my place.



And, I guess I'm back for now.

You know, I saw this:

Last post on Today at 03:09:17 PM
in The brutality of an angr... by bagman

... in the board header and IMMEDIATELY said to my friend on the phone, "Dude, I've gotta go, man ...", hung up on him, and here I sit ...

wtf kyle. just wtf.

*shrugs*

but seriously, are you gonna continue to stick it to her or what?

Call the cops and have that bitch arrested.

If you don't have random bruises & cuts that you cannot remember it was not a good night of drinking and/or drunk fuckin'.

Call the cops and have that bitch arrested.

Or just handcuff her to the bedpost yourself ...

maybe it was some really rough sex, and you've just knocked her up.

Dunno if I'm going to continue sticking her. She is coming over tomorrow to make brunch, and then on Monday she is leaving the country (going to Zambia - yes, as in Africa!) for two weeks. I don't really see myself with her. I wasn't that attracted to her last night - there were just so many other cuter girls running around. But it's kind of like I am lazy and it's a sure-thing, so I don't try anything else. 

Fuckin' a she must have chewed on my earlobes last night like they were calamari.

But speaking of cute girls. Guess WHAT you guys!!? In about two hours I will be meeting up with the super cute, "other" Sasha at a show downtown. We've been messaging back and forth and she gave me her phone number on Friday. She sounds super nice, and is uber-cute. (I never had any dates with her set up previously - "our" Sasha was lying I think when she said she told the other Sasha about me.) On my own, I started talking with her.

I am excited!

She's cute, but not "super cute", nor "uber-cute" ...

PS: Ask her if she does anal ...

It took me the longest time to realize this picture was of your upper back/shoulder.
It looks exactly like a chick's stomach with an innie belly button and a tattoo. I thought this was supposed to be used to judge if she looked knocked up.


I wouldn't completely give up on this "J" chick. She seems playful. Reminds me of a girl I once dated whose bedroom model was Sharon Stone's character from Basic Instinct. I had to hide the ice picks when she spent the night. But yeah as far as "J" goes, you told her what's up so if she wants to get her heart broken, that's her trip. I'd keep with her till the next piece was a sure thing. Speaking of which, good luck with Sasha 2. She's a doll. Obviously there are no pictures of "J" to use as counterfoil, but Sasha 2 looks hotter than "J" sounds... however you want to interpret that.

you're a fucking bastard for drink-driving. Sort your goddam shit out, retard.

you're a fucking bastard for drink-driving. Sort your goddam shit out, retard.

2nded

that's gross, duder.

I meant to mention that too.

Well, I am a serious fuck up - I should have called a cab, and I know that. But please, let's get past that.

So I'm sitting her scratching my head and my balls; dumbfounded. Ok, so like I said I've been e-mailing back and forth with this cute Sasha for a couple of weeks. She gives me her number on Friday and we start texting. We were going to meet up Friday night - she texted me where she was about midnight, but by that time "J" and I were already at the Salvation Army place, getting our drink on. Today we were going to meet up at the Explosions in the Sky show (See http://loaded-gun.com/index.php?topic=111.0 for a sample of their work), and then she bails -- she got lost trying to find the place and then went home.

That's cool though, I enjoyed the show and my jumbo corn dog slathered with mustard.

Then about an hour ago she texts me again saying she is going to this bar, and telling me I should come over. I tell her I might, but traffic is terrible with SxSw... then she replied that she knows, and her boyfriend is heading into town from Ft. Worth now, and she's dreading dealing with traffic. Huh? I guess our Sasha wasn't lying about that part.

I never said she was prettier than me.  She has braces, weighs 99lbs, and has no tits.  You could flip her over and pretend she was a twelve year old boy if you so wished.  Anyway, I talked to her today because Kyle wanted me to.  I thought she broke up with this guy, who is a lot like Kyle actually, but she didn't.  I think I may have convinced her to give you a shot, but she is still thinking about it.  I lied and told her you were a lawyer, young girls are gold diggers.  If you get a shot with her ROLL WITH THE LIE KYLE IT'S YOUR ONLY HOPE!

That's gay. What's gayer is I when told her I was just going to stay home, and she says she was looking forward to meeting me. Why? I mean I don't look forward to meeting people of the opposite sex, unless I am looking for a hook up/sex/etc. Obviously she's not if she has a boyfriend, right?

I need to get the straight dope from our Sasha. 13chemicals where the fuck are you?

I was getting sober.  ANYWAY... I told my friend Noelle to talk to lil Sash, because I can't stand her.  I figured since gossip travels fast here Noelle would've talked to her.  I'm lazy, sorry.  Honestly Kyle you don't have a shot with her.  She would probably blow you, but is it worth it?  You could have her "boyfriend" find out about it and get your ass beat.  Or you could take her out a few times, drop a few hundred dollars and then she would drop you.  Just find another girl Kyle, and don't take ten years to do it please.

Well do you have any other cool, cute friends/acquaintances that are single?

I'd keep with her till the next piece was a sure thing. Speaking of which, good luck with Sasha 2. She's a doll. Obviously there are no pictures of "J" to use as counterfoil, but Sasha 2 looks hotter than "J" sounds... however you want to interpret that.

We've already linked to the TSi thread where there's pics ...
Do we have to do it again?

I was getting sober.  ANYWAY... I told my friend Noelle to talk to lil Sash, because I can't stand her.  I figured since gossip travels fast here Noelle would've talked to her.  I'm lazy, sorry.  Honestly Kyle you don't have a shot with her.  She would probably blow you, but is it worth it?  You could have her "boyfriend" find out about it and get your ass beat.  Or you could take her out a few times, drop a few hundred dollars and then she would drop you.  Just find another girl Kyle, and don't take ten years to do it please.

I actually agree wholeheartedly with you ...

Well do you have any other cool, cute friends/acquaintances that are single?

I'm thinking you need to stay out of the "Sasha Circle", dude ...
Just my $.02 ...

I'd keep with her till the next piece was a sure thing. Speaking of which, good luck with Sasha 2. She's a doll. Obviously there are no pictures of "J" to use as counterfoil, but Sasha 2 looks hotter than "J" sounds... however you want to interpret that.

We've already linked to the TSi thread where there's pics ...
Do we have to do it again?

Oh I didn't realize that was "J". If I recall there were two chicks in that thread, though. I'll have to go back and reread it when I work up the curiosity.

Well do you have any other cool, cute friends/acquaintances that are single?

I would argue that for there to be OTHER cool, cute friends, this girl would have had to have been cool and cute in the first place.  And, honestly, I think your memory is playing tricks on you.

edit:  and with her ditching you, that's certainly not cool.  ditchers are NEVER cool.

on a separate note:

you should be smarter about bringing girls home with you that you've partially broken up with.

Remember:  http://loaded-gun.com/index.php?topic=31.msg1050#msg1050

Bed romps that end in scratches & bruises are always good times IMO.

Good job baggy, too bad you don't remember the details. Just look for a new girl and keep her on the side until then. Don't see her more than once a week though after she gets back from her trip. I can't believe she's letting you string her along like this. "J" seems a bit silly.

Just find another girl Kyle, and don't take ten years to do it please.

motion seconded by dave and passed by me

forget her, kyle, we've taken a vote and she's been vetoed.

wait Sasha 2 or J has been vetoed? I agree about Sasha2, but I say string J along until a new FB is found or until J gets to the point that she bites his dick off in a drunken rampage.

psychopathetic and dave agree with sasha1 that shasha2 is out of reach.
they veto sasha2
nobody but you and I have said anything much about J in this thread, but a bunch of people said kyle should have had another one lined up before ditching J.
I think there's a consensus for keeping J.

This is so ridiculous.

Why is it ridiculous???

Like we have anything better to do... pssshhh

I'm going against the "keeping J" thing.
1)  He's doing her harm, psychologically.
2)  She's doing him harm, physically.

That's not a good combination.  It can lead to bad things.

addendum:  i'm also going against the trying for S2 thing.  Because she's young and bitchy.

He told her from the get go that he just wanted to be fuck buddies. But then she fucking tells him that they have been "dating for 4 months"?? What, is she crazy? She's doing it to herself, he was upfront but she isn't being protective of her feelings.