I thought you already did.

1-
Best present I ever received consisted of:
1 bottle Irish whiskey
1 book (Tropic of Cancer)
1 long-legged young lady in lingerie
1 large scented candle
1 night kinky, drunken sex

Do this and you will hear no complaints unless he is a closeted homosexual or otherwise worthless.

2-
Krsna, fuck you.

Seriously, the Chrysler was a luxury car. It didn't matter how fast I drove, it always felt like you were going slow.

Or did you forget when I almost got us all killed coming back from Baltimore because I came around a bend in I-95 pushing 100?

Fuck, I miss that car...

Balor, you are a true friend.

I don't remember ever going that fast. I do remember doing like 45 in the left lane the whole way and getting the funniest dirty looks tinged with incredulity I've ever seen displayed. I think you almost killed us because you were changing the Flogging Molly CD, not because of excessive speed.

BTW - Thank you for not killing us that day.

AND that Makers Mark you gave me for my 30th birthday is one of my best gifts ever, I've been meaning to tell you that. A truly great gesture.

The best birthday present I ever received is when my at the time asshole boyfriend took me to San Diego for a weekend, then as soon as we got back home he takes off with his friedns like he couldn't wait to get the fuck away from me.

Oh, did I say that?

I'm thinking "how does that situation fit into Lucas' never break the law stance?".

I mean, if you go the speed of traffic you break the law by speeding. If you do the speed limit you break the law by impeding traffic.

I think the proper answer is to use teleportation. Am I right?

The proper answer is to go the speed limit, and stay out of any lane with someone going faster than you.  In other words, pay attention while you drive!

hay guys it's my berfdey tomorrow. what you gettin' me?

What do you want?

Balor, you are a true friend.

AND that Makers Mark you gave me for my 30th birthday is one of my best gifts ever, I've been meaning to tell you that. A truly great gesture.

It's true; he and I talked about this on Saturday night ...
... I was actually impressed myself

hay guys it's my berfdey tomorrow. what you gettin' me?

What do you want?

that is the question of the day, innit?

i really don't know. apparently i'm very hard to buy for. i'm not really into material shit. i always just want to hang out and eat a good meal or see a movie or something. i'd rather spend time than money.

She wants a picture of your cock Lucas.

Duh.

yeah, or THAT

well, i HAVE a picture of my cock now.
i just need to get up the nerve to send it out.

hahahaha post that shit so bagman can get an eye full!

OMG TRICKY ONE OF THEM TOOK THE BAIT

OMG TRICKY ONE OF THEM TOOK THE BAIT

I can't believe it!

We rule.

i really don't know. apparently i'm very hard to buy for. i'm not really into material shit. i always just want to hang out and eat a good meal or see a movie or something. i'd rather spend time than money.

could i get you something online, like something for LJ?  I don't know how internet economies work.

hahahaha post that shit so bagman can get an eye full!

there is absolutely no way i'm posting anything publicly that kyle can archive for the next 15 years.

I do remember doing like 45 in the left lane the whole way and getting the funniest dirty looks tinged with incredulity I've ever seen displayed. I think you almost killed us because you were changing the Flogging Molly CD, not because of excessive speed.

 Separate incident. I'm talking about when we came around the bend and there was a traffic jam a couple hundred yards ahead, and we only stopped about a sparrow's ass from the last car's rear because the Chrysler had comedy brakes.

 Yes, I do like to go slow sometimes. The simple fact of the matter is, I drive whatever speed I damn well please to at the time.

 Also, sometimes I go flying off the road without warning to tear around fields recklessly. Ask Carolyn.


 I'm glad you enjoyed the bourbon. The last time I gave someone booze for an Occasion, they first tried to light it on fire (being sufficiently intoxicated to mistake it for fireworks). When that failed they then proceeded to piss away half the hundred-odd-dollar bottle making jello shots.

I actually just winced and made some sort of funny wincy noise. My co-workers are looking at me a little funny but oh my god that's just fucking awful. Jello shots?

Man, that's fucking bullshit.

What a tool.

i really don't know. apparently i'm very hard to buy for. i'm not really into material shit. i always just want to hang out and eat a good meal or see a movie or something. i'd rather spend time than money.

could i get you something online, like something for LJ?  I don't know how internet economies work.

it's so nice of you to offer but to be honest... there really isn't much that i want that i can't get for myself. thanks, though.

Do you like my Wang?

Ahhh, the gift that keeps on giving ...
... provided it's not over 1988!

If I'd been quicker, I'd have suggested Katie get him a 3way.

presents given as of 10:58am 4/1/09:

(1) kickass blowjob, followed by awesome morning sex

-heading to providence ri soon to get falafel on thayer street
-will probably give him his gifts at this point: a jar of gourmet rosemary infused sea salt and a bottle of rosemary infused extra virgin olive oil (I hand picked and pressed the rosemary leaves for that)
-then we pick up his son and head to dave and busters

I think this day will be a total success.

P.s. My mom picked up the macallen 12 for him

I think this day will be a total success.

I say you get her a three way.

Now that that's settled, what shall I do for my gf's birthday? It's in 2 weeks so I have some time to plan. She's kind of juvenile, but I think she'd be pissed if I just blew off her birthday. She's planning some big party. Would it be totally tasteless just to burn her some good music? Her taste in music is pretty sad.

Hot Topic giftcard!

Or, you could submit some naked pictures of her to Suicide Girls, then she can become a Suicide Girl. Then you say, "Happy Birthday honey! This is your gift." Then you show her the naked pictures of her that are on Suicide Girls.

Or, you could take her to San Diego for a weekend, and then when you get back home ditch her for your friends ASAP.

uh oh...  brook needs a sedative.

Hot Topic giftcard!

I don't want to encourage the juvenile behavior.

Would it be too little to just supply beer for her party? That's really not very specific to her at all. Hmm. I mean I could just take her out to a show or something that's what I did for our 1 month. We went to dinner and then a show. I wouldn't have normally done anything, but she kept bringing up how 1 month was coming up so I figured it must mean something to her. Silly chicks.