soon to be 35y/o man.
practical, but likes nice things. rarely lives to excess.
loves his acura. keeps it very clean.
loves hand and foot massages.
loves sexing.
fan of xgames, and not pro sports.
chef, but has everything he could possibly need that *i* can think of. no longer cooks professionally.

please help. birthday begins in less than 14 hours.

Some fancy shaving cream perhaps? A massage bar from Lush that you can use on him? New shoes?

Fuck if I know.

find a car detailing place close by and buy him a gift certificate for a full service wash/wax/vacuum.

This is a place in Texas:
http://washtub.com/

I don't know where you live, or else I'd help you search.  However, you could probably just use google:
<city name> full service wash detail

then, give him a blowjob while he waits for his car to get cleaned!

Eitje's suggestion is a great one.

If he drinks at a top shelf bottle of his favorite poison would be a great gift.

Does he eat meat? If there's a real market anywhere nearby you could see if you can get your hands on some actual dry aged steak. That stuff is great.

he insists on detailing it himself. he has some weird air-blowing tool at his house, and a shopvac. and i see enjoyment on his face while doing it all.

not a big drinker. likes beer, but right now has a fridge full of beer given to him by a long trail ale rep at a food show we went to recently. likes good scotch but not enough for me to think that's the best way to go on this.

meat - yes, and that's a pretty good idea. i'd honestly rather take him to an awesome high end restaurant, but i'm sort of broke, and would rather give him something more tangible, or that would last longer than two hours.

also, he's a sometimes stoner. already got him a really nice bowl for christmas. not into the idea of getting him another weed-related gift so soon.

get yourself some (more) hot-ass costumes to wear at bed-time



</obligatory pic request>

I was thinking that too! hot lingerie. but then it'd almost be more of a gift for yourself than a gift for him.

he insists on detailing it himself. he has some weird air-blowing tool at his house, and a shopvac. and i see enjoyment on his face while doing it all.

not a big drinker. likes beer, but right now has a fridge full of beer given to him by a long trail ale rep at a food show we went to recently. likes good scotch but not enough for me to think that's the best way to go on this.

meat - yes, and that's a pretty good idea. i'd honestly rather take him to an awesome high end restaurant, but i'm sort of broke, and would rather give him something more tangible, or that would last longer than two hours.

also, he's a sometimes stoner. already got him a really nice bowl for christmas. not into the idea of getting him another weed-related gift so soon.

As a 35 year old man I can tell you that I'd like a terrific bottle of Scotch or a great meal a lot more than some cologne or department store trinket, but I realize that not everybody might feel that way.

Its a shame that Bauchos Brazilian Steakhouse is all the way in Manchester NH. If it wasn't for the three hour ride each way I'd say to go there. Brazilian steakhouses usually have a pretty kick ass salad bar, fantastic meats, and unbelieveable service. Plus, it's only 27 bucks per person at Bauchos, which is a bargain.

With less than 14 hours to go it's definitely too late to get that Ben and Jerry's package sent to him.

I was thinking that too! hot lingerie. but then it'd almost be more of a gift for yourself than a gift for him.

it's a gift for all.

Or just me if you want to PM me, including everyone else is a token gesture and we all know it

I was thinking that too! hot lingerie. but then it'd almost be more of a gift for yourself than a gift for him.

Don't you read Cosmo? Lingerie is a gift for us, that's why it can be a poor gift for us to give to you.

With less than 14 hours to go it's definitely too late to get that Ben and Jerry's package sent to him.

that's around the top of my list of all-time favorite birthday presents

re: lingerie

i am more into wearing little cute cotton panties/panty sets for him. he likes that.

Has he recently mentioned anything he needs in casual conversation.

"That's nice"
"I could really use one of those"
etc.

you said "fan of xgames"

does he like to actually do any of that stuff?  maybe some equipment for said activities?
or if he doesn't like to do any of that stuff -- an xbox360 and that new skate game

i'm not sure

With less than 14 hours to go it's definitely too late to get that Ben and Jerry's package sent to him.

that's around the top of my list of all-time favorite birthday presents

You can't go wrong with Ben & Jerry's

As a 35 year old man I can tell you that I'd like a terrific bottle of Scotch or a great meal a lot more than some cologne or department store trinket, but I realize that not everybody might feel that way.

Yeah a nice bottle of liquor is definitely a fine gift. The stuff can be cached for ages and it just gets better. I'm terribly fond of Tokaj gifts. I have 7 bottles now chilling in storage. I only open this shit up for momentous occasions.
Also let's all keep in mind that as a 35-year-old man, provided you tell him Happy Birthday and act lovingly toward him and such, he's not going to care much that you didn't get him a gift. I mean this won't ruin his birthday party. He won't send everyone home without their door-prizes.

It's tough to figure out something to get someone when they seem to have everything they want and need.

If it wasn't so late in the game, I'd just say "ask him".  Frankly, I'm impossible to buy gifts for.

For Christmas, my ex got one of these for me:
http://www.carchip.com/Products/8226.asp

I was sceptical at first, but it's turned out to be great.  if he loves his car, he'll probably really like getting readouts from his car.  It's really neat to see engine performance alongside speed, so that I'm able to mentally track what was happening around me as well as inside my car.

I don't know where you'd pick one up nearby you, and it's probably more expensive than you were thinking.  But it was a great, simple gift for a car/computer dude.

It's tough to figure out something to get someone when they seem to have everything they want and need.

If it wasn't so late in the game, I'd just say "ask him".  Frankly, I'm impossible to buy gifts for.

For Christmas, my ex got one of these for me:
http://www.carchip.com/Products/8226.asp

I was sceptical at first, but it's turned out to be great.  if he loves his car, he'll probably really like getting readouts from his car.  It's really neat to see engine performance alongside speed, so that I'm able to mentally track what was happening around me as well as inside my car.

I don't know where you'd pick one up nearby you, and it's probably more expensive than you were thinking.  But it was a great, simple gift for a car/computer dude.

But what if it tells you that your car performs most efficently at 10 miles over the speed limit?

WHAT THEN LUCAS? WHAT THEN???

For Christmas, my ex got one of these for me:

Dude, my exes spit on me.

For Christmas, my ex got one of these for me:

Dude, my exes spit on me.

well, she was a girlfriend at the time.  we haven't spoken in over a month.

if he ever plays a game, it's cod4 or left for dead. he has a skateboard, surfboard, umm that's all but that's all he does for that stuff. he sort of wants/needs a watch. his broke recently and isn't fixable. i know he wants to save and buy a really nice one when he can afford it, and doesn't mind waiting. no way can i afford a nice watch. see how everything is a bad idea? im stressing. he planned the most awesome night in the city for me on my birthday this month. i just wish i was in a more creative zone at the moment to think of something nice to do for him. he does love him some macallen 12yr...

tomorrow night i AM planning on taking him and his son to dave and busters in providence. the three of us can play video games and eat unhealthy food. i figured it was a fun way to involve his little boy on his birthday.

EITJE: what krsna said
KRSNA: stop mind raping me

But what if it tells you that your car performs most efficently at 10 miles over the speed limit?

WHAT THEN LUCAS? WHAT THEN???

Good question, Eric.  I'm glad you asked.

Performing efficiently is a good thing, but breaking the law is a bad thing.  In any moral, ethical, or legal situation, you should ALWAYS choose to be on the side of what's right morally, ethically, or legally.

That's how you live an efficient LIFE, Eric.

no way can i afford a nice watch. see how everything is a bad idea? im stressing.

a nice bulova timepiece shouldn't be more than $200.

@Katie: D&B with his son sounds like a good time, I'll bet he loves it  

@Lucas: You and Balor should have a "see who can drive the slowest in the left hand lane" contest. My money's on Balor.

@Katie: D&B with his son sounds like a good time, I'll bet he loves it  

@Lucas: You and Balor should have a "see who can drive the slowest in the left hand lane" contest. My money's on Balor.

Texas has laws about impeding traffic, so you're not supposed to be in the left hand lane going slower than traffic in that lane (even if they're speeding and you're not).

Where's shut up shut up when you need him?

tomorrow night i AM planning on taking him and his son to dave and busters in providence. the three of us can play video games and eat unhealthy food. i figured it was a fun way to involve his little boy on his birthday.

And here I thought you said you weren't a mom.
that's kind of you to include the kid though

Texas has laws about impeding traffic, so you're not supposed to be in the left hand lane going slower than traffic in that lane (even if they're speeding and you're not).

Good call. What were you thinking krsna?

I'm thinking "how does that situation fit into Lucas' never break the law stance?".

I mean, if you go the speed of traffic you break the law by speeding. If you do the speed limit you break the law by impeding traffic.

I think the proper answer is to use teleportation. Am I right?

hay guys it's my berfdey tomorrow. what you gettin' me?

It's not my job to fuck you on your birthday.

It's not my job to fuck you on your birthday.

are you insinuating that it is someone's job to fuck me on my birthday?

i have got to find this person.