You sound like bagman!

I am glad I am single and don't have to deal with things like gifts and anniversaries and people sleeping in the same bed as me. Barf

Maybe I do need a sedative. Please send some my way.

the only thing more retarded than celebrating a 1 month anniversary...
wait I got nothing.

how old is your girlfriend? give us some details about her to help the brainstorming sesh.

Let's say she's pretty young. She may or may not be in her early 20s. But actually one of her friends is helping me out now so I probably got it covered. These two are like best friends so she knows what's what.

Let's say she's pretty young. She may or may not be in her early 20s. She also may or may not be in her early teens.

Fixed.

Let's say she's pretty young. She may or may not be in her early 20s. She also may or may not be in her early teens. She also may or may not be a rotting corpse in my basement, dead from being skinned alive, every orifice of her decomposing body filled to the brim with my warm semen.

Fixed.

Fixed.

And who the fuck takes a corpse to a show?? You are sick, Doormouse. Sick I tell you!!

Whoa, working some rough chuckles there, Tricky.

i really liked the "filled to the brim with my warm semen" part

lyrical, yo

Now that that's settled, what shall I do for my gf's birthday? It's in 2 weeks so I have some time to plan. She's kind of juvenile, but I think she'd be pissed if I just blew off her birthday.

I like how your ideas so far completely involve you changing her.

Maybe you should get her a can of Lysol or some perfume? Corpses can start to smell pretty bad.

i would think reanimation would be a better gift for a corpse.

Wait, so you're a step-mom hip?

i would think reanimation would be a better gift for a corpse.

cremation.

reanimated corpses are angry as hell.

get her a bowling ball, it worked for Homer Simpson and it will work for you

i would think reanimation would be a better gift for a corpse.

cremation.

reanimated corpses are angry as hell.

that explains it!
tricky, you hate men and kids and committment because you're a zombie!

i am a zombie, didn't you see the picture?

Oh man! If you had no skin I'd totally fill every orifice with warm semen.

Wait, so you're a step-mom hip?

i don't see no ring on this finger.

So he hasnt stuck it up your pooper?

clearly you didn't catch my rule about XLs going in there.

not even the tip?

*dirty picture removed*

One could always work up to the XL's ...

Ow

I'm just saying ...
There's people that fist each other up to the elbow ...
You just can't do that out-of-the-box ...
heh ...

http://www.efukt.com/2419_Prolapsical_Resistance.html

http://www.efukt.com/2419_Prolapsical_Resistance.html

;_;

anyone stupid enough to click that link gets everything they deserve.

http://www.efukt.com/2419_Prolapsical_Resistance.html

Two reasons I won't be clicking that link.

Wait, so you're a step-mom hip?

i don't see no ring on this finger.

WHAT HAS HE DONE FOR YOU LATELY?!?!

Wait, so you're a step-mom hip?

i don't see no ring on this finger.

WHAT HAS HE DONE FOR YOU LATELY?!?!

hahaha

gotta have a j-o-b if you wanna be with meeeeee

My friend says that I'm the busiest person he knows without a job ...