She gets back from her Africa trip on Tuesday. I was actually hoping that she'd forget about it me while on her vacation, but as always God denies my prayers. She sent me an e-mail last Wednesday:

Hi! Just got back from the most AMAZING two day safari into Botswana.   It's really incredible here.  All the people are really nice, the nicest, Happiest people I've met.  Keep Tuesday the seventh open for me.  I will text you when I get back, lets do  dinner that night.

I never responded to her e-mail, because I have definitely made my decision that I do not want to see her again. Unfortunately, she must have thought I didn't see her last e-mail because she just sent me another one this morning.

...I have tons of pictures to show you when I get back. Do you want dinner Tuesday night? If so, what?...and back to the casa around 4 so I can go grocery shopping before starting dinner...

Hope you've had a good past week and a half. Did you ever get your tickets to Tokyo? When are you going?

She is totally bent on cooking me dinner and then fucking me the DAY she gets back. I have to man up and just say enough is enough. I don't have the same feelings for her that she has for me, and it's time for both of us to move on. She is very sensitive about the whole situation because apparently her last boyfriend (of 3 months) didn't want to commit to her either, and then ended up getting a girlfriend like two weeks later. Pretty blatant there, casa nova. I don't want to fall into the same trap. Doubtful I will meet a girl in two weeks that I deem girlfriend material, but stranger things have happened.

Bottom line is that I need help. What can I do that will inflict the minimal about of hurt on "J"? Obviously no matter what I do she will be hurt, but I don't want to go in there with a butcher knife and carve her heart out or anything. I have never had to do this before. Earlier this year I went out with this girl twice, and she too was ga ga over me. I left after the second date not setting up a third, and she texted me all throughout the week and kept inviting me over to her house to cook me dinner, watch football, etc. I finally just wrote her an e-mail that I was not interested in going out on another date with her, because the chemistry wasn't there. But that was only two dates. This is... 4 months. E-mail isn't going to cut it.

It's funny, of all the CL girls I have gone out with over the past year, I could have had sex with 4 of them. ("J" I did not meet on CL) I even slept in "G"s bed and my erection was against her ass all night, but we didn't have sex. That was because I didn't try anything. I was too nice. In the morning she made me coffee and told me "You need to be more aggressive Kyle." The reason I didn't have sex with these girls before, was inside me. Not because women didn't want to have it with me. I was just so afraid, at being a 27/28 year old virgin. Remember the story of me almost walking out on "J" and not having sex at all, that night I was no longer a virgin? The fear just crippled me. Luckily as I opened her front door, something carnal took over me, and I ended up having sex.

So now that that whole virgin fear is behind me, if I can line up some dates with CL women, I think I'll fair much better in the sex department.



Anyway.

Suggestions on how to politely and lightly tell "J" that I am no longer interested in seeing her? 

Please!

Dude, for the 1000th time ...
... LINE UP THE NEXT ONE BEFORE YOU CHUCK THE FUCK-CHICK!

Oh, and leave her number in this thread ...
I like women that flat-out INSIST they won't do anal; I dig the challenge (and usually prevail) ...

No.

I am done feeling bad inside about this whole situation. I have managed with my hand just fine these past two weeks.

Breaking it off with her will give me the motivation I need to go and find another woman. As long as she is hanging around, and I have easy access to sex, why would I even bother looking elsewhere? I have barely put any effort into looking. I mean shit, Sasha is having to write personal ads for me. So I'm done, man.

 

 Ignore Thrash.

 Dumping someone right after having been separated from each other is harsh, but the fucking betrayal of "lining up" the next fling while still with them is total dog shit.

Morals are subjective. I'm going to go with it's only dog shit if she finds out.

As for how to break up with this J chick: Breaking up with someone and coming off looking like a good friend is hard fucking work. It's extremely fact-specific and I doubt anybody here can help you very much since you're the only one who really knows her. If there are no mitigating circumstances and you really have just been using her then be prepared to get blasted by this chick and take it like a man. That'll be the kindest to her. Let her hate you. If you don't care about her then dig into one of her own insecurities and destroy her while looking like a prince. I think that's pretty low, but to each their own.

The minute she gets back just stuff it in her ass without warning ...
Then, after a slight apology, do it again ...

OR

You could, like, totally coke out for a few days ...

... according to Sam Kinison, these work like charms!


EDIT: TYPO

Morals are subjective to the amoral.

Morals are subjective to the amoral.

Lol so true.

You've fucked this situation beyond repair. She's clearly emotionally invested and so are you, to some extent. There's no way out now without being an asshole, so your best bet is to be the least dishonest asshole possible. Be honest about being a complete emotional retard (literally), and that you're effectively a 16 year old kid when it comes to all this stuff, and that things are progressing a little fast for you. That said, the LAST thing you should do is make out that since she's your first, you're uncomfortable with her being your "only", and that you wanna dip your quill in some other inkpots, so to speak. This may be the truth, but in this particular case the absolute truth won't do anything but make her feel like a complete piece of useless shit who's not worth anything and might as well just die. Clearly that's not how you want her to feel, so don't let on that you like her OK but think you can do better, because it's never nice to feel that used.

ugh if you can't break up with someone you say you're not-dating then maybe you shouldn't not-date anyone.

Whoa ...
That was ...
WOW, Sarah ...

Whoa ...
That was ...
WOW, Sarah ...

hahaha, stfu dave.

I've never fucking done this before. Jesus.

Actually, I meant that as a compliment, Sarah ...

Kyle, we know this ...
Sam Kinison has never steered anyone wrong ...

Use the classic It's not you, it's me line.

They love to hear that. Espescially via text message. You dont want getting beat up again, right?

Hit on her mom/cousin/sister/brother/dog ...

Also, I think I might give my rubber cock to her as a going away present. She'd probably like that.

...unless tricky can prove to me she wants it more.

Ohhhh thats a good one too Dave...

Or he could try "Sorry J, but I am gay."

Also, I think I might give my rubber cock to her as a going away present. She'd probably like that.

...unless tricky can prove to me she wants it more.

Uhm, NOT a good idea ...
DP'ing her with it IS ...

"

Ohhhh thats a good one too Dave...

Or he could try "Sorry J, but I am gay."

Hmm, I think Kinson'ing her is better ...

Kinison's dead... let it go.

But his advice lives on ...

So does Muhammad's, doesn't mean we should live by it.

I disagree ...

Since I only know what you have mentioned in these threads and have only paid attention to about 40% of that information (as abundant as it is), my only question remains:

Since this girl has done just about everything under the sun imaginable to make you happy, what exactly is it you find so appalling about her that you want to pull an arch-dick move like breaking it off after separation.  I don't even care how you do it, or have anything invested in either of your feelings whatsoever, but from an objective view, I cannot see why you would want to breakup with her in the first place, unless there is something you haven't told us.

Since I only know what you have mentioned in these threads and have only paid attention to about 40% of that information (as abundant as it is), my only question remains:

Since this girl has done just about everything under the sun imaginable to make you happy, what exactly is it you find so appalling about her that you want to pull an arch-dick move like breaking it off after separation.  I don't even care how you do it, or have anything invested in either of your feelings whatsoever, but from an objective view, I cannot see why you would want to breakup with her in the first place, unless there is something you haven't told us.

I still don't fully get it either ...
But it's fun to offer commentary ...

Bagman's the only one who really gets it. That's why its his ass she'll be stomping.

Advice regarding your penile dildo:
When you tell her you're breaking up with her she's liable to grab the nearest thing to hand, which in this case will just so happen to be your 15 cm pink rubber cock, and she'll proceed to beat poor old bagman to death with it. With breakups like this that's seen as a nice way to go. Now, that, is why you man up and pay the piper when you owe.