×

Quote from: Thrash
Less tallkie, more bookie for suckie-assfuckie!


Friends with benefits no more(Read 32698 times)
Friends with benefits no more on: February 22, 2009, 12:16:34 AM
Um, so I am fairly certain I've pissed "J" off. I haven't talked to her, texted her, etc. since last weekend. Like I said in my last post on ThrashInc, the whole taking a shower together last Sunday and her leaving in one of my t-shirts things got me worried. So I want to let her know to back the fuck up some. Usually she texts me daily, but like I said I haven't heard a peep.

She e-mailed me an article on Tuesday about this meteor that flew by in Austin and was caught on camera, and she said we should go to west Texas to camp and watch a meteor shower sometime. She said she was going to look up the next time there is a meteor shower. I totally ignored that in my response and focused on the news story about the chimp defacing that lady early in the week. I think she is getting it. We need to knock this shit down a few notches. She keeps saying she'll come over and cook me dinner, that we need to meet for lunch during the week, go camping, travel Texas, etc. and I have never acknowledged any of those things. I just change the subject. It is a friends with benefits things, rather than a fuck buddy thing which I understand involves a little more than just fucking (I let her spend the night, and vice versa) and we go out to eat sometimes, but I don't want anymore than that with her.

It's Saturday night and she should be hopping up and down on my dick and screaming right about now, but is nowhere to be heard/seen.

There is no way in hell I am pussying out and calling/texting her. If she wants my dick she'll have to let me know. She's gonna chase me.

It's no sweat off my nutsac. I already texted "E" (the girl I took the my firm Christmas party - posted photos somewhere on thrashinc) and we're talking about hanging out. Plus that girl "L" who I met on HotOrNot last year, who it turned out was in my fucking finance class the entire semester and we didn't know it until near the end of class, is moving here to Austin. She got a state gig. Yeehaw. That means maybe I'll get a taste of her cute little ass.

But for now, it's back to Xvideos.com, Redtube.com, Youporn.com, Dansmovies.com, Mambamovies.com, and of course Throatpokers.com.

At least they make me cum... every time.
« Last Edit: February 22, 2009, 12:22:43 AM by bagman »



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #1 on: February 22, 2009, 03:07:54 AM
Pull your head out of your ass and call her.
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #2 on: February 22, 2009, 04:37:49 AM
She's fairly unattractive, overweight, smokes, and I know I can do better.

She was training wheels man, training wheels.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #3 on: February 22, 2009, 06:29:15 AM
Yeah, but you're listing girls you met on hotornot as your backup....
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #4 on: February 22, 2009, 11:20:26 AM
And here I thought hotornot was just a way to give people anonymous and therefor cruel ratings based on their picture. I guess it makes sense they'd parlay that into a dating site.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #5 on: February 22, 2009, 06:34:49 PM
Well now that I know my way around a pussy a little better and how to get a woman warmed up and aching for my thrusting dick stick, I'm sure it'll be easier to find my next lay.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #6 on: February 22, 2009, 08:01:20 PM
Well now that I know my way around a pussy a little better and how to get a woman warmed up and aching for my thrusting dick stick, I'm sure it'll be easier to find my next lay.

Just felt that this was worth repeating.
ever tried. ever failed. no matter. try again. fail again. fail better.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #7 on: February 23, 2009, 02:28:52 AM
Kyle, you're forgetting one thing; she was still slobbing your knob in the meantime ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #8 on: February 23, 2009, 07:21:33 AM
This entire affair (pun intended) reminds me of the story of the bulls.

An old bull and a young bull were standing on top of a hill, looking down on their herd of cows. The young bull said "Hey, let's run down there and fuck one of them cows!"

And the old bull said, "No. Let's walk down and fuck ALL of them."

Don't be the young bull.
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #9 on: February 23, 2009, 09:42:35 AM
Great story
Loaded-Gun.com - I don't know what the hell they are talking about or why they are even there. They don't make serious points and they don't joke, but they still manage to make a lot of posts somehow.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #10 on: February 25, 2009, 08:00:34 PM
Um, anyway she messaged me and I am heading over tonight. So GAME on!



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #11 on: February 26, 2009, 01:38:08 AM
W3rd ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #12 on: February 26, 2009, 09:31:25 AM
"He did it, now what?"

Buttsecks? 3-some? Coming while inside her?

Or did that happen yet? I read most of the bagman gets deflowered thread on the Thrash board but not all of it.
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #13 on: February 26, 2009, 10:33:33 AM
I don't think so ....
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #14 on: February 27, 2009, 06:34:54 AM
This entire affair (pun intended) reminds me of the story of the bulls.

An old bull and a young bull were standing on top of a hill, looking down on their herd of cows. The young bull said "Hey, let's run down there and fuck one of them cows!"

And the old bull said, "No. Let's walk down and fuck ALL of them."

Don't be the young bull.

You stole that from Robert Duvall.

Nice.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #15 on: February 27, 2009, 06:48:15 AM
You stole that from Robert Duvall.

Nice.
[

Mofo I stole nothing. I was telling that joke when Duvall was auditioning to be Brando's Consigliere...


« Last Edit: February 27, 2009, 06:53:41 AM by Zoomie »
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #16 on: February 27, 2009, 06:50:26 AM
I bet you never fucked it up like Sean Penn did either.
« Last Edit: February 27, 2009, 06:54:15 AM by Mosh »



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #17 on: February 27, 2009, 06:52:32 AM
So confused this morning...
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #18 on: February 27, 2009, 06:54:02 AM
Close enough. Bitch.
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #19 on: February 27, 2009, 06:55:09 AM
Damn you got in twice...

Man, I ought to give you a call...



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #20 on: February 27, 2009, 11:47:23 AM
Just give him a shout in the small cock thread ...
BOOYA, MOTHERFUCKER!!!

Quote from: bagman, 04-29-2002 04:35 PM
Haha I'm gonna get some punani soon ya fucks!

|)__/)
(='.'=) This is the signature bunny. He's hard-fucking-core!
('')_('')



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #21 on: February 28, 2009, 02:06:13 AM
Wednesday night was crazy. Little did I know, but being an exhibitionist is thrilling. I'll write up the scoop tomorrow. Tired.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #22 on: February 28, 2009, 02:46:44 PM
Well???
you treat me like a monologue ho



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #23 on: February 28, 2009, 07:41:51 PM
This girl, "J", worships my cock. She's used adjectives like, "beautiful" and "amazing" to describe it. Not that I am long dong silver or anything, but when I hit her slit with my Brad Pitt, she squirms and squirts, and tells me that I am fuckin' IT!

I love feeling her cum -- anytime she's on top, riding cowgirl, or one of my personal favorites - inverted missionary - she has fairly explosive orgasms. My chest ends up all warm and wet from her haha and I like it. Last time she was at my place she kept saying she wanted the neighbors to know how good I was. (She screamed so fucking loud ... I thought I may have gotten ear drum damage.) She's also said on every occasion, that I am the only guy who has ever made her cum while having sex. It's probably more about "fit" than "skills".

Anyway, so back to Wednesday.

First - a little background. She moved about 3 weeks ago from the apartment where she lived by herself, to a house with 3 other dudes living there. Dungeon and Dragon, LARPing motherfuckers. They are fairly scary. One is a 41 year old midget, overweight, Gandolf looking creep. He's not shy at all as you would expect most nerdy D&D/Magic the Gathering playboys to be. He's told her that he has a girlfriend in Oklahoma that he plays World of Warcraft with. He came out and talked with us a bit Wednesday while she was cooking me dinner, and was like "Oh I am SO sore. I started working out today at this gym and my personal trainer really put me through the paces." Hahahaha. Sure. Another roommate is named Kyle and he has a girlfriend in a wheelchair (parapalegic) and has seriously scared "J" by asking her questions about periods, ovulation, etc. in relation to his girlfriend in the chair. He also lives in a shack that has been "attached" to the back of the house. The third guy won't look me in the eye and won't even say hi. He IS the typical super-shy D&D dude. He's probably in his 30s and he lives in the converted garage. I made fun of her for days when she moved in. She's fucking crazy - she didn't even know this dudes, just replied to a Craigslist ad, met them, saw the house, and moved in.

Wednesday I head over and we hang in the kitchen while she cooks an awesome seafood and pasta meal. The roommates occasionaly walk by, and chit-chat a bit, but for the most part we are left alone. After we eat and drink some tasty Chardonnay, we head to the couch in the living room to watch Mythbusters. While we're sitting there she takes my belt off, reaches her hands in my pants, and starts tugging on my balls. Damn! I felt a little uncomfortable knowing any one of the 3 dudes could open their doors and walk by and see us. But I didn't say anything. She unzipped me and pulled my cock out and started stroking it... and being a little cockteasing cocksucker. Little suck here... stroke, suck. WHOOT. I whispered "You're a fucking dirty girl. What if one of your roommates comes out?" She's like "So?" hahaha that was pretty hot. Anyway so she's going at me and I'm loving it, and sure enough we hear the garage door open and close as the garage-dweller comes into the kitchen. Haha we spring into action and within 2 seconds I swear to God it looked like the entire time we had just been chilling in front of the tv having a drink. One second too slow and he would have seen my cock in her mouth/hand on THEIR couch haha. It was pretty exhilirating. She liked it too.

After that little scare we watched some more tv, I teased her, rubbing her pussy through her panties, and getting her to WANT me bad. I was whispering shit like "I want you" in her little ear, and whenever there was a commerical finding sexual things out of the completely non-sexual ads and telling her how I was going to fuck her right. 

Blah blah, about midnight we go into her room and shut the door. I had not brought a condom over, with the expectation that she would blow me, and I would return the favor, because I wasn't sure I wanted to fully fuck when the 41 year old's room was right across from hers. But that didn't last. She had an extra condom, put it on and we fucked hard. Her bed creaks so fucking much I know even the dude out in the garage was hearing it hahahaha. It was awesome. She cummed all over me. Unfortunately, I couldn't cum inside her again. But she beat me off.

It was fun. But, I didn't get more than 10 mins of sleep all night, and had to get to work early the next morning. I was really pissy all day. I already hate mornings.

She invited me to a party tonight at her friend's house. I have purposefully declined anything to do with meeting her friends. I just want to fuck her and eat her food that she cooks me. And sometimes go out to eat. So I was like "You mean the party in my pants?" Haha she laughed and said ok, "I guess all you want is a booty call tonight." I smiled ":p" (this was all via text). I didn't hear back from her -- dunno if I pissed her off or what. Have a feeling not. I have her wrapped around my cock. So tonight my neighbors will again, enjoy the screams of ecstasy as much as I will.

« Last Edit: February 28, 2009, 07:52:42 PM by bagman »



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #24 on: February 28, 2009, 08:10:54 PM
I'd be more worried about what was on that couch prior to you 2 than one of them walking in...



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #25 on: February 28, 2009, 08:29:56 PM
You do realize what an enormous creep you're being, right?

I mean, assuming there's any truth tho this at all, that these girls are real, etc.

Discretion is the better part of more than just valor, learn that or some day some woman is going to claw your fucking eyes out when she finds out what a little kiss-and-tell bullshit man you've been to her.

...if you ever move beyond the Craigslist League, that is.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #26 on: February 28, 2009, 08:50:52 PM
Been doing it for 10 years man; from that girl switchbladekitten on A-S that I got my fingers stinky with, until my first lay, and obviously beyond. My sex life (lack of for the better part of those 10 years) has been of keen interest to most everybody here. I just keep it real. You all know more than even my best, Scientologist friend, does.

Don't bother reading my shit if you aren't interested in it...

...and I can tell you're not. This girl, the one one deflowered me, I actually met in person at a concert in early December. She's not another Craigslist casual encounter. I posted about it on Thrashinc. It's only been one "girl" so far, not all "these girls".



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #27 on: February 28, 2009, 09:21:01 PM
Wait.....a friend with benefits isn't a friend who shares their drugs with you?

Wow, no wonder everyone was impressed when I said I was gonna go hook up with my "friend with benefits".
~
A pleasant man with a pleasant weapon



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #28 on: February 28, 2009, 09:21:20 PM
Being a cretin for ten years isn't exactly a stellar way to argue that being a cretin is the thing to do.

Neither is an appeal to authority based on the fact that people on the internet are amused by your arrested adolescence.

Hey, I've got an idea! Show this girl everything you've posted about her, every dirty little detail of her private proclivities hanging out there for Thrash and Zoomie to laugh at, for Tru and Danzig to breathe heavily to. See how well that goes over.

I realize I may come off as rather harsh, but seriously, you're better off growing out of this need-to-tell-all shit.
It's truly a shame I am no longer there to yell at girls to make out with you.



Re: Friends with benefits no more Reply #29 on: March 01, 2009, 01:42:03 AM
I realize I may come off as rather harsh, but seriously, you're better off growing out of this need-to-tell-all shit.

And then we'd only have Thrash's buttsex stories, Tricky's small cock stories and your drunken blather to entertain us. Variety...
No Nyarlathotep, no chaos...
KNOW NYARLATHOTEP, KNOW CHAOS!