I am feeling very anti-social today. Sometimes I wish I were on the moon. Solitary, and alone. Anyway, I told my little sexpot that I am not feeling up to spending time together tonight. I have an ambitious evening planned. Grab dinner at Taco Cabana in a few minutes, then drink my sixer of Amstel Light I got earlier, then proceed to drink some of my Plymouth Gin mixed with juice, and get as drunk as possible, sit in my boxers and play video games all night on my Xbox. I haven't played the thing in two years. Why not get drunk and play, right?

Ugh. I just get depressed sometimes and don't want to be near any people.

Why are you depressed?

Because he makes good money and lives in a happening town, obviously.

Well, he does, so I don't see whats to be so depressed about.

... other than the STD.

That is a good question.

If depression is genetic, I am screwed. Both my mother and father have severe depression. I hate seeing my mom on anti-depressants because it makes her so spacey. My dad, well I haven't heard from the guy in 4 years. He lives a very solitary life in the woods of Okeechobee Florida somewhere. So maybe I get it from them?

Also, I am sexually frustrated because of my molloscum and that doesn't help.

I turn down friends requests to hang out, fairly frequently.

I sleep a lot. Like on weekends until 2pm or 3pm usually. After work, I often lay down at like 7pm and nap until 10pm or something.

The chemicals in all the fast food I eat is probably not helping either.

The fact that I am almost 30 sucks my rubber cock too. In one month, I'll be 29. Ouch man, ouch.

Blah blah. DRINK TIME

I spent most of today on my bike looking for the remnants of the dozen or so plans for transforming St Louis from an industrial backwater to a cosmopolitan city between 1907 and today.

CT: I live in a post-industrial backwater with a lot of fucked up streetscapes on account of abandoned public works projects.

 I can't recall the name right now, but there's a planned city in California that is, to this day, populated by only a few thousand wary souls.


And if you really want to see a post-industrial backwater, try Youngstown, Ohio.

Dude, I've lived through shit you wouldn't credit, and have friends who have been so fucked at one time or another we could only laugh about it.

My advice is quit self-medicating yourself with a fucking depressant and go for a goddamn walk.

I turn down friends requests to hang out, fairly frequently.

I recommend to stop doing that. For me, lonliness can lead to mopeyness/ sadness, so I try to hang out with friends 2+ times a week.

The fact that I am almost 30 sucks my rubber cock too. In one month, I'll be 29. Ouch man, ouch.

Meh, you have no idea what youre talking about. Turning 30 was one of the best things ever to happen to me.

30 was a lot of fun for me, too. But so far, 32 has been the best year yet, in the past 12 anyway.

Well, I'm done with the decade of the 30's now. Would I do it again if I could? fuck yeah.

So far so good.

I'd tell you how great turning 30 was but it was so long ago that... what were we talking about?

Best thing about my 30s was that 20-something women would still date me.

15K cars? I suppose your auto prices are less since your fuel is 5 times ours...

15K cars? I suppose your auto prices are less since your fuel is 5 times ours...

They also be much, much smaller.

I spent most of today on my bike looking for the remnants of the dozen or so plans for transforming St Louis from an industrial backwater to a cosmopolitan city between 1907 and today.

CT: I live in a post-industrial backwater with a lot of fucked up streetscapes on account of abandoned public works projects.

 I can't recall the name right now, but there's a planned city in California that is, to this day, populated by only a few thousand wary souls.


And if you really want to see a post-industrial backwater, try Youngstown, Ohio.

I've seen it. And Detroit, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, and pretty much every other rust belt city. I didn't live in any of those other places, so perhaps I didn't become as sensitive to it, but St Louis seems to carry the weight of half attempted or failed civic improvements in a way that no other city does. The shit is just out there everywhere: streets change width for 2 blocks, the grid skews for a 4 square block subdivision on the site of an old factory or housing project, there are boulevards between major parks, but not connecting them.

It's hilarious and pathetic. I get off on it now as a historian. It will probably piss me off to no end in a few years when we abandon whatever I've become involved in attempting.

Dude, I've lived through shit you wouldn't credit, and have friends who have been so fucked at one time or another we could only laugh about it.

My advice is quit self-medicating yourself with a fucking depressant and go for a goddamn walk.

Great advice

Dude, I've lived through shit you wouldn't credit, and have friends who have been so fucked at one time or another we could only laugh about it.

My advice is quit self-medicating yourself with a fucking depressant and go for a goddamn walk.

Great advice

CNS depressants aren't the same thing as mood depressants, but yeah this is good advice.

Kyle, my advice is to not listen to angry losers who think they've lived, and live your life the way you see fit. If that means you tip a bottle now and then, please enjoy. There are things worse than dying. Like not living.

There are things worse than dying. Like not living.

Which begs the question, is Kyle truly living?

Are any of us?

That answer is up to the individual and I know I am.

For me, drinking made for funny stories, but very low lows.
angry, loser or not, I know that drinking out of sadness helps no one.

It's great for the liquor industry.

Dont you know I single-handedly brought the 90's economic bubble to the liquor industry?

It's not like he drinks every night... you know... like me.

And me!

But Kyle, the walk part is certainly sound advice. Or get a bike and go for a cycle. Or pick up those fucking weights you mentioned at some point (I think?). Work up a sweat, then go out and have a drink with friends. You'll feel way better.