Verdad.

but you're absolutely not allowed to care about her in the way that would make you take late night phone calls from her where you listen to her prattle on about her shitty life...

...because you're not a flaming homosexual...

...are you?

Right on Krsna

Heres a fun story for everyone thats sort of on topic.

I caught my boyfriend of 5 years cheating on me with the town whore. No tears or anything, I just dumped him and moved on (Some of you might actually remember this!). 6 months after the fact he contacts me, apologizes, wants to be friends.
Whatever. I'll scream at you for a bit and forgive you. So I did.
Well sure enough he comes to me a year or so into the relationship because he thinks she's been cheating on him, and sure enough, she was. He asked how he should dump her.

I asked: Does she do anal?
The answer: Yes.

Do her 9in the ass, but dont finish. Make her suck your dick, then give her a facial.
When she tries to kiss you, tell her thats nasty, only dirty whores who cheat take it in the face.
Then dump her.

Chad, this worked wonders. I think you should try it.

You are way too cool to your exes girlfriend.

past backstory about my relationship itt: 1 / 2

She came to visit me this weekend.  We went out Saturday night and had about 4 martinis a piece and started airing some grievances.

Long story short, I told her she had been acting super insecure lately and that I didn't feel like I could trust her 100%.  She told me that between the formal dance I took her to in April and the time I visited her in Brooklyn in May she fucked one of her female friend's guy friends.  Which means I had reasons to be upset at how weird she was acting, and pretty much all of you guys on this entire forum were right that she was screwing around on me.

Last November when we were fighting pretty substantially and the relationship was on the rocks I know she had fucked around then and that we had thought about splitting, but we agreed to hold it together and she specifically wanted the relationship no longer to be an open one.  I honored that, but she didn't.  That means she has screwed around on me 3 times now just in the past year.  The first two I forgave because we had agreed that we would be open to the idea of seeing other people if the long distance relationship was too strained.  This third one I don't know how I can humanly forgive, especially considering she literally did it a week or two after I took her out on the nicest date in the history of our 4.5-yr relationship.

I'm at a high point in my life.  I've improved my own personal situation in the last year so much that it makes my head spin.  I wear suits to work, make twice as much money as I did this time last year, my school is practically paying me to attend, I have my own car, my own place, I pay my own way for everything.

I have given this woman a ton of my life, and I just don't know what to do.  I'm sure I could do better at this point, and I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust her again equally, it seems borderline unhealthy to continue this on.  Even if I broke it off with her though I'd still care about her.

Fuck man.

Dude A is to B as

"I wear suits to work, make twice as much money as I did this time last year, my school is practically paying me to attend, I have my own car, my own place, I pay my own way for everything." is to "she specifically wanted the relationship no longer to be an open one."

Dude, cut this harpy loose. She wants to have her dick and eat it, too.

Speaking from a cheating whores perspective, I would have to say that Lothar is right.  If your ex lets you get away with fucking other guys you aren't going to stop doing it.  Also, you may get mad at her and tell her fuck off but I know you aren't going to leave her.  It's kind of like suicide.  You don't write a letter to the world if you are just going to do it.

Sometimes Brook says shit that really, REALLY actually makes sense. Good job, Brook.

thanks. now lick my twat.

*turns on his cunnilingus machine*

It also seconds as an ice cream licking machine.

You are way too cool to your exes girlfriend.

For a long time, you were totally right.
Now I only speak to this one (mentioned above). The rest are kaput. Either I fucked the relationship up, or they did. Either way, we are exs for a reason so I cut contact because youre right, its like suicide.

*nods*

Kill her. Everything is resolved!

Except for the post traumatic stress, prison time, and derailment of a promising career.

.......Details, man... Details..

Speaking from a cheating whore's perspective, I would have to say that Lothar is right.  If your ex lets you get away with fucking other guys you aren't going to stop doing it.

Agreed. With very few exceptions, "let's see how we do with an open relationship" actually means "I'm gonna go on a dick-(or pussy)-crazy-rampage, then still use you as an emotional crutch, while you sit and patiently wait for me to decide we're exclusive again, at which point I'm still gonna fuck around on you cuz wtf are you gonna do about it, Mr.-(or Mrs.)-whipped-as-fuck?"

A guy I went to school with... his girlfriend asked him to change to an open relationship so he fucked her sister.

...and if that's not FTW, I don't know what is

FTWOAW

Speaking from a cheating whore's perspective, I would have to say that Lothar is right.  If your ex lets you get away with fucking other guys you aren't going to stop doing it.

Agreed. With very few exceptions, "let's see how we do with an open relationship" actually means "I'm gonna go on a dick-(or pussy)-crazy-rampage, then still use you as an emotional crutch, while you sit and patiently wait for me to decide we're exclusive again, at which point I'm still gonna fuck around on you cuz wtf are you gonna do about it, Mr.-(or Mrs.)-whipped-as-fuck?"

So right.

A guy I went to school with... his girlfriend asked him to change to an open relationship so he fucked her sister.

...and if that's not FTW, I don't know what is

AWESOME! He shoulda fucked her mom too.

wow. Now Im not sure whats better. Your vomit in mouth story, or that

Just put an explosion at the end like you usually do...

wow. Now Im not sure whats better. Your vomit in mouth story, or that

Wait, who's vomit in mouth story?

An explosion makes every story better!

Nick has a great one.... but with your reaction it appears you might too!!! DO YOU?!

I don't have a vomit in mouth story, that's why I wanted to know who had one.

What's Nick's?

I want nick to tell it, since it IS his, but if he doesnt Ill share. Ill even add an explosion for who might find that interesting (Myself)

And me.

I ended it.

Goin' out drinkin' tonight.

Will buy cab instead of potential DUI.

Good for you. Be safe, lets party in a week. Be there in one piece

What Geek said.

Hey man, good job. Enjoy your new freedom.

I ended it.

Goin' out drinkin' tonight.

Will buy cab instead of potential DUI.

Go Chad!

I ended it.

Goin' out drinkin' tonight.

Will buy cab instead of potential DUI.

Good work, man.

Now go out and enjoy the fuckin sunshine. You're free.

Actually, speaking of, I might have to make a trip to Baltimore anyways Zooms... I aint met Chad or Chewy yet...