>>I know how to masturbate. <<
Don't we all!
I was pretty messed up when I did those. I've never been able to perform in front of people. Almost like a paralyzing fear of ridicule. I have never done Karaoke in my life. But I'm so old now, it doesn't matter. And my cheap mic which came with the sound blaster sound card I ordered for my new 80286 way back in the day seems to work pretty well.
I'll do a couple more if allowed. Maybe I'll even do a whole song or two.
But don't get excited, I only know old songs.