To celebrate the purchase of my new kitchen and Zoomie's install let's post our favorite recipes.

Chicken Picatta

What you'll need:

1 Can of Low Sodium Chicken Stock
A Few Chicken breasts, fillet, pounded tender
SOme flour in a bowl
Smart Balance Lite Butter
Some lemons
French Basil, sliced thin
olive oil
A squiggly pasta or small shells

Wet the chicken with water, toss in flour and cook in a pan of heated olive oil. Cook until the outside starts to brown. Be warned, fillets get dry easily.

Remove and drain on a paper towel

boil water for pasta with some olive oil and throw pasta in when ready, drain and set aside

In the same pan dump the chicken stock, 1/2cup of the smart balance butter and 2 tbs of flour, keep stirring.

Throw chicken in when you see the consistency is right. Shouldn't be runny, shouldn't be goopey. Just a nice sauce.

Once the chicken reheats (2 or so minutes) serve over pasta

Instant delicious.

Please share yours

......I boil rice in a bag.

"Hi, we're serving dinner. Our selections tonight are chicken piccata or seafood gumbo..."

"Piccata? Piccata! Picattattatatta!"

"Does the gumbo have corn in it?"

"I am Cornholio! I need picatta for my bunghole!"

"You'll have to wait your turn sir."

"Are you threatening me? My bunghole will not wait!"

Beavis and Butthead vaya cornholio

all i know how to cook is pureed baby food.

My boss is trying to teach me to cook... I hate it.

My boss is trying to teach me to cook... I hate it.

when i read that i thought it said my boss is trying to teach me the cock.

It wouldn't be that far of a stretch.

My boss is trying to teach me to cook... I hate it.

when i read that i thought it said my boss is trying to teach me the cock.

Either you're as horny as me or you're just getting to know me rather well. 

ever since I figured out it's the quickest route to a girl's vagina I've made sure I'm a passable cook


Vegetarian Lasagna

Veges:
Tomatoes
Spinach
Zucchini
Mushrooms
Olives
Onions
Garlic
Eggplant

Other:
Lasagna Sheets
Olive Oil
Basil
Salt & Pepper
Cottage Cheese
Feta Cheese
Hard Cheddar Cheese (optional)

1. Cut up and steam the veges (except onion, garlic, olives and half your mushrooms) for a few minutes until mostly cooked. Put aside

2. Dice and lightly fry onion and garlic, add diced tomatoes and the rest of your mushrooms and simmer down to a regular pasta sauce. Add salt, pepper and basil to taste. Throw in some of your olives too.

3. Layer repeatedly in your baking pan until you run out: Lasagna sheets, pasta mix, steamed vegetables, cottage & a little feta cheese. On the top layer add some hard cheddar because it browns well, the rest of your olives, feta & cottage cheese. Be liberal with basil and pepper. Bake at 180 deg(c) for 20-30 minutes depending on your pan size. Serve with red wine at room temperature, a really simple green salad and some good bread if you have some. The wine doesn't have to be amazing, it's there to compliment the food,  but it should also remove any last objections in her mind so try to spend at least $15 on a bottle of Merlot if you're unsure.


Note to beginners: It's important to prepare your bedroom before your guest arrives. Make sure your dirty laundry is at least dumped in the wash room and the window in your bedroom has been open for a while. To avoid carpet burn ensure a clear path from your door to your bed and remove any clutter from your bed beforehand. Foreplay should not be necessary after the first 2-3 bites.

The best thing I make from scratch is buttermilk pie.

HEY, I SHOULD BRING SOME TO THE BBQ!
But I'd have to make it before hand...  or once I'm there?

BBQ? Are you fuckers holding out on a Southern girl??
Oh yeah, eitje theres a BBQ festival in NYC while you're here. But I'm sure they have those in TX all the time... but I like BBQ.

TOAST WITH PEANUT BUTTER:
ingredients:
bread
peanut butter

Toast bread.
Remove bread from toaster. Slather on peanut butter as desired. Enjoy with some coffee.

BBQ? Are you fuckers holding out on a Southern girl??

Do you want to come to Philadelphia?
I'm not inviting you, I'm just curious.

Oh that's where this BBQ is. No.

When I cook, I usually use 6 drops of Essence of Terror, and 5 drops of Sinister Sauce...

That sounds hot & awesome!

Buttermilk Pie sounds great Lucas, but I think something like that might actually kill me, and probably Geek too  We're both very lactose intolerant.

I made a very simple meal last night, vegetarian burritos.

1 Box of Goya Rice and Beans
1 Ripe Avacodo
Salsa
Cheddar Cheese
Tortillas

Lay out your tortilla and scoop some rice and beans and chunks of avacodo onto it. Top with salsa and cheese. Roll that fucker up and eat it.

well, that sucks.  it's pretty much all i know how to make.

my mom is extremely lactose intolerant (not hospital-worthy, but close) and she can eat buttermilk pie.

since it becomes a custard, maybe the stuff that's bad for you is broken down?

well, that sucks.  it's pretty much all i know how to make.

my mom is extremely lactose intolerant (not hospital-worthy, but close) and she can eat buttermilk pie.

since it becomes a custard, maybe the stuff that's bad for you is broken down?

What are the ingredients?

6 drops of Essence of Terror, and 5 drops of Sinister Sauce...

What are the ingredients?

buttermilk, sugar, eggs, flour + pie shell + heat until custard

I could give it a try.

Are you registered to produce chemical or biological weapons?

re: buttermilk pie

whole buttermilk:
"Serving Size: 1 cup (240ml); Calories: 150, Total Fat: 8g, Carbs: 11g, Protein: 9g"

from australia's better health website:

• Drink full fat milk because the fats slow the journey of the milk through the intestines and allow the lactase enzymes more time to break down the sugars.
  
• Have moderate amounts of dairy foods. Most people can tolerate the amount of lactose found in:
  - Half a cup of full cream milk
  
• Use heated milk products like evaporated milk; they seem to be better tolerated because the heating process breaks down some of the lactose to glucose and galactose.
  

and my favorite...

• Have soy foods; they are lactose free, a good source of calcium and a good substitute for milk or milk products.
  

On Easter I had macaroni and cheese made with evaporated milk. Not fun. I think Australia's web site is full of shit.

wouldn't be surprised in the least.

well, i'll make it, and you can take a bite.  if you're not dead 2 hours later, you can try more.
it gets better when it's colder!

When I cook, I usually use 6 drops of Essence of Terror, and 5 drops of Sinister Sauce...

Is that what you call your semen? Sinister sauce??

Mac & cheese with soymilk is good stuff. I wonder what would happen if you tried to make this buttermilk pie with soymilk.

last week i made chocolate chip cake with pecans and the week before i made peanut butter cookies with chocolate chips.

i haven't decided what to bake this week. i like to surprise the mail man with fresh and fattening baked goods.