Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!
General Category => Sex/Gossip => Topic started by: bagman on August 15, 2009, 01:20:30 AM
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Two weeks ago, and very abruptly, my pubic region got attacked by a swarm of small, nodule-like bumps. There was no itching or discomfort associated with said bumps, until I started tearing them off, one-by-one. At first I thought maybe I just had a bad case of folliculitis or some weird rash. But it didn't go away, and the little nodule things scared me.
So I made an appointment at a local clinic, and met up with the doc bright and early this morning. You know it's going to be a great day when you have to describe to a female nurse that you have bumps around your dick, and that you have had unprotected sex multiple times over a period of time. Then it only gets better when you have your junk and the area around your junk groped by another man. Just the way I want to spend my days. There is nothing like the touch of a man in the morning.
It turns out I have something called Molloscum Contagiosum, which as the doctor put it is a "non-std std". It is usually transmittted from skin-to-skin contact, and in adults it's almost always spread via sexual activity. The doc said it should go away in 6 - 8 weeks and it doesn't affect anything other than the skin (it's a skin virus). It shouldn't have any long-term affects, but it is contagious while the bumps exist, so I will have to remain celibate for a period of time. (SHIT!) As I was laying back on the exam chair, and I hear the doctor say "Molloscum" my mind went numb, and I didn't hear another word coming out of his mouth for the next 5 minutes. I was in utter fear, never having heard that term before and not knowing what it was or how it was going to affect my life. He could tell I was completely blanked out, because he said "I see you're a little out of it" and had to re-tell me all the information he was giving me as I floated about in my mind, literally drowing in fear. Then he brought in a liquid nitrogen can and froze/burned off the last two I had remaining. (I'd torn off about 8 of them).
So it's not as bad as it could have been. Either Sasha or Dylan and I could have been singing "Row, row, row your boat..." together.
Yes, I did tell my FWB today, because honesty is cool. I must have gotten it from her, with the time frame that I gave the doctor and the average incubation period of the virus. She is disappointed that we won't be able to act out the schoolgirl/teacher fetish that both of us have. I think all guys have a schoolgirl fetish, but when she told me the other night that she has a teacher fetish... wow, just wow. Please little fuckers, go away quickly! She's going to make an appointment and do her sexual health screening too, which we should have both done from the get-go.
Anyway I'll find out the results of my other tests (HIV,etc) in two weeks.
I'll see you guys then. Unless I have HIV, in which case...
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Dude, wrap your junk.
Yeah, it aint as good, but til you learn about another person completely, keep that shit wrapped.
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The only thing is, wrapping wouldn't have saved him from this...
Unless they make a WADER/SwimTrunk version of condoms that i've never seen!
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You havent seen pics of him... a standard rubber covers 3/4 of his torso.
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I engage frequently in as much unprotected sex as I want. It's great.
I've also been in a relationship with my SO for almost four years. We've both been extensively tested and are both free from anything the other wouldn't want.
If it all ended tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow I was out looking for some strange...?
I'D BE OUT "ON THE MARKET" WITH A FULL PACK OF CONDOMS AND WOULDN'T EVEN CONSIDER HAVING UNPROTECTED SEX WITH ANYONE, FOR ANY REASON.
Wrap that shit the fuck up, yo. Seriously!
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Fuck that shit, you only live once Kyle. Get as many STDs as you can.
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Collect the set!
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FTW!
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I'm kinda pleased that as drunk as I got last night I was still preaching safe sex. Go me!
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/me swoons
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First of all this is a misleading topic. Second, you got an STI not an STD (so don't say you failed an std exam). Also, you don't fuck shady enough people to get HIV so don't joke around about it.
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Do we know this as fact?
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You planning on fucking him?
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How about, uhm, FUCK YOU!
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You planning on fucking him?
Fuuuucccccck no!
Please, continue fucking shady girls off of Craigslist Kyle.
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Heh ...
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Thank Christ, I have none of these bumps on my cock itself or my scrotum. But I am a little worried because I've spent significant time researching this and some people have it for months and even years.
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Yea, it's called herpes then.
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You planning on fucking him?
Fuuuucccccck no!
Please, continue fucking shady girls off of Craigslist Kyle.
That wasnt aimed at you...
How about, uhm, FUCK YOU!
bwahahahahahah... that's the response...
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Also, you don't fuck shady enough people to get HIV so don't joke around about it.
You are kidding, right?
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Man, we're not on a third world island here. In America if you're not fucking IV drug users I really don't think you have too much to worry about as far as HIV is concerned.
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Also, if you're taking a load in the asshole.
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Welcome back BAGMAN
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Told you to wrap that shit MONTHS ago. This time you got something unavoidable by fucking some nameless skank.
Next time you'll get something avoidable and we'll laugh at you and tell stories about it around the campfire for YEARS after (like we did last night).
Regardless, you gets no pity.
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Thanks Geek! (Whether or not you were being facetious).
Well, I've been on a reckless path for months now. Sleeping a lot more than usual, depressed; everything is so gray and dull, nothing sounds exciting. So having this happen isn't all that surprising to me. I am just so bored 90% of the time. It seems like a never-ending slump of sorts.
Oh, and my cloned dong, may actually be put to good use! Haha. A couple of months ago I told her about me cloning my penis, and showed it to her the next morning. She grabbed it and thought it was awesome but that the vibrator when turned on seemed too fast/hard. Anyway, since she can't get the actual thing for a while I offered her (semi jokingly) my cloned dick to keep her company during these difficult times.
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You should invest in a fucking machine.
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Such a gentleman...
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For him or her?
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i actually meant it
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kyle - you need to quit your job and do something else. Like finish school etc.
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kyle - you need to quit your job and do something else. Like have unprotected sex with a shit ton of CL sluts and make a documentary about it for our sick enjoyment.
Fixed
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I thought no REAL women, only spambots, existed on CL?
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kyle - you need to quit your job and do something else. Like have unprotected sex with a shit ton of CL sluts and make a documentary about it for our sick enjoyment.
Fixed
thx
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kyle - you need to quit your job and do something else. Like have unprotected sex with a shit ton of CL sluts and make a documentary about it for our sick enjoyment.
Fixed
This.
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For him or her?
Have you noticed that almost every toy/machine is unisex ?
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Kyle will never finish school since he only has a semester left. Sitting in a cubicle eating fast food for the last 6 years has made him lazy and stupid.
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Well that sounds pretty shitty dude.
Evaluate your life make sure you are making the right decisions (something tells me this is probably not the case).
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Told you he was pretty smart.
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The wrong decisions can be a lot of fun, though.
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The boy ain't ready for strippers.
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I wonder how many times a week Kyle hangs out with his new fuck buddy. If she has left tampons at your house Kyle she's your girlfriend, not your fuck buddy. Be careful. Remember what happened with the cute tubby chola.
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Whoa, just ....
Whoa ...
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I am keeping a keen eye on my girl. She hasn't left anything over here yet. At first it was 2 -3 times a month, and more recently (within the past month) it's been about twice a week. (Of course, until my bumps cropped up.)
But good news!! Today these fucking things are a LOT less red, and look like they may be shrinking! BOO YA to my bad ass immune system. Piece of shit virus.
She said she's going to make an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get birth control and get her self checked out. Can you guys believe I've been getting ass, for nearly 8 months exactly?? (12/23/08).
Anyway, I am thinking about setting up my weight bench to pass the time by working out instead of sleeping. And Sasha, you are totally right on the lazy and stupid thing. Fast food is so easy and addicting. Sometimes about an hour after I eat a burger and fries from this local burger joint , I get really pissy and depressed for no apparent reason. So many chemicals, so little time.
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Go for a jog or cycle and then do some lifting. You'll feel great.
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and learn to cook. You'd be amazed at how much more awesome food you can make for $15 than you can buy at a shitty diner for $15
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Or just take up WoW and order a large pizza. Whichever!
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This guy who is 5'2" is obsessed with me, thanks to my exboyfriend, and he lifts weights and looks like Gimli from Lord of the Rings.
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I hear Dwarven Beard gives you a +2 bonus to all rolls related to Sneak and Rough Sex.
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No thanks.
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You know you wanna slap them 4" off the ground balls...
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This guy who is 5'2" is obsessed with me, thanks to my exboyfriend, and he lifts weights and looks like Gimli from Lord of the Rings.
Tell him you wanna toss him off.
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He's one of the many men who has offered duckets for such a service.
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Step 1: Steal underpants
Step 2: ?
Step 3: Profit
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My shit's looking much better, but last weekend I went ahead and ordered some of this, which has really good reviews everywhere. It has Iodine in it, so I should use it sparingly, but PLEASE GOD let it speed the process up.
(http://pics.drugstore.com/prodimg/141119/200.jpg)
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i'm so sorry ~ THIS:
flightless bird, american mouth (Twilight Soundtrack) w lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FddRcJwlT4&feature=PlayList&p=728FDD20018C3C8B&index=13&playnext=14&playnext_from=PL#normal)
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Kyle- You need to stop obsessing and buying shit off of the internet. I have learned of so many homepathic things to get rid of Herpes and none of them really speed up the healing process. I have also read about topical creams via the internet, all a waste of money. The only thing that works sadly is Valtrex. I've been not sleeping and binge drinking since I am depressed, so I think I'm having an outbreak for the first time in a couple of years. I always know when I'm getting one from the flu-like symptoms and black blood period that lasts for a day. Yum-O!
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Man, I can't imagine why people wouldn't want to contract herpes.
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the flu-like symptoms and black blood period that lasts for a day. Yum-O!
You are so fucking hawt...
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i'm so sorry ~ THIS:
flightless bird, american mouth (Twilight Soundtrack) w lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FddRcJwlT4&feature=PlayList&p=728FDD20018C3C8B&index=13&playnext=14&playnext_from=PL#normal)
I haven't wathed the video, but is that a Renault 4?
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Si I tried to look I really tried but the music was torturing my ears I had to stop.
EDIT: Tulip asked why I didn't just turn down the volume. Oh well, live and learn...
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EDIT: Tulip asked why I didn't just turn down the volume. Oh well, live and learn...
We've always known that she was the brains of that operation.
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Just as Arthur is the brains of yours.
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He IS incredibly smart.
But not NEARLY as bitchy as tulip can be.
...is it okay to burn her? I'm not sure anyone's ever tried.
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She called you a fucker and walked out of the room.
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I think I'm okay.
Do you hear any shotgun shells being loaded in the next room?
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On topic:
(http://imgsrv.923krock.com/image/wfny3/UserFiles/Image/news_images/candy-dots.jpg)
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I think I'm okay.
Do you hear any shotgun shells being loaded in the next room?
My Rossi is a single shot and she never hits with the first round so you're ok. You just better hope she never learns to load black powder in the .50...
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Actually Sasha, this Zymaderm is working big time! It's drying the bumps out and they're going away faster!
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Actually Sasha, this Zymaderm is working big time! It's drying the bumps out and they're going away faster!
http://www.treat-molluscum.com/zymaderm.htm (http://www.treat-molluscum.com/zymaderm.htm)
It seems to work better on children than on adults.
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Wait, who's fucking kids again?
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To be truly scientific, you'd need to apply it to only half of the bumps.
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Ahhh, good point ...
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I wasn't having an outbreak afterall, sorry to disappoint.... it was just my regular period.
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I just found out that my fwb has tried anal (only once), and didn't like it. I have this gross feeling in my chest/stomach area now. I don't know if it's because now I'm afraid I won't be able to get into her butt, or because she let some other dude try to get into that butt.
I'm serious... I don't feel well.
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Oh my god, you're in love.
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You need to find out howthe anal happened. Did she work up to it or did the guy just plow in. This is VERY important.
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it's not important. What is important is that her mental blocks to it have gone, and you have an avenue to riding the chocolate trail
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Sasha, I was a little afraid of that feeling I got. I definitely don't love her, but what if that bad feeling stems from me not wanting to ever have had her end up with some other cock in her anus. Like that shit is MINE. I shouldn't even think that. Ugh. Same sort of feeling when what's his face in Clerks learns about his girl sucking 36 dicks, I guess.
Now, every time I fuck her, I'm going to be thinking about how she was plowed in the rear-end. Her asshole is just going to be winking and laughing at me.
Homeless, I did. I asked her if she was surprised by it or what and she said that no, the guy said "Hey you wanna try anal" and she said "sure!" (yes, with enthusiasm) And apparently she didn't like it at all. She says she thinks that is why their relationship "didn't work out."
Maybe the dude didn't get lubbed up, or start with a finger and gentle start gaping it wider... who knows. But if it's as easy as asking her if she wants to try things hahaha, that's pretty awesome.
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You now have a real excuse to go buy some sex toys. Make sure you tell her that you wont be going from fingers/toys to cock in the same night. I find that works rather well.
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Sasha, I was a little afraid of that feeling I got. I definitely don't love her, but what if that bad feeling stems from me not wanting to ever have had her end up with some other cock in her anus. Like that shit is MINE. I shouldn't even think that. Ugh. Same sort of feeling when what's his face in Clerks learns about his girl sucking 36 dicks, I guess.
Two questions:
1) Would you care if she had (non-anal) sex with some random dude tonight?
2) Would she care if you had sex with some random girl tonight?
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Why does it seem to go from SIMPLY SEX to something else in a blink of an eye. Is it POSSIBLE to even have a REAL FWB or do they always evolve into something else beyond that?
Honestly, I would care if she fucked another random guy tonight. I am laying claim to that vagina while we are having sex. I want an exclusivity clause, though we have not talked about exclusivity outright. On the other hand, if I did find out she was having sex with other random guys, I wouldn't have a hard time saying adios. Yes, I would lose the sex, but knowing how easy the whole Craigslist thing is, I wouldn't remain without it for long.
Yes, I believe she would care if I had sex with another random girl tonight. She's making an appointment at Planned Parenthood to get her sexual health screening done, (as I have done - so we both know), and she's getting birth control. Me having sex with other girls would through question marks into the equation, and our sexual health.
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If there's no emotion, you're not in a relationship. If you're not in a relationship, you have no exclusive claim on that person.
Check your ego at the door next time you talk to her about it. It's hard but you're on a fast road to nowhere if you can't have an open conversation about this without worrying about how it affects your pimping self.
It took me years of being an egotistical fool to figure that out. First girl I dated after making the mental leap lasted 6 months, before that it wouldn't have lasted 6 weeks. The next lass I dated after that I married.
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And the one after that?
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He hasn't actually met your mum yet.
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www.craigslist.com (http://www.craigslist.com)
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How can you claim that girl as yours if she is just your friend with benefits. I know that if I had a friend with benefits he wouldn't be my only one, and if he has a problem with that I just say "see ya." You need to get over it and let her have sex with whoever SHE wants, because I think you are lucky to be having sex.
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You need to get over it and let her have sex with whoever you want
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He wants her to have sex with you, Sasha...
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All it takes is ONE fucking typo....
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you gotta read that shit.
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I think I learned my lesson.
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FWB = No Exclusivity Clause
Sorry, those are the rules ...
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Fucking bagman.
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Yeah dude, he totally stole your "shit growing on my junk" thunder.
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IKR! Bastard.
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(http://www.advancedpt.com/graphics/congratulations.jpg)
I got a call from the doctor's office today, and all my tests came back negative. Not this time HIV, not this time.
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Congrats baggy, I also want to confirm that you are dating this chick.
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And by "this chick" she means your girlfriend.
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Actually I meant wife!
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Good job Kyle. I went to the std clinic today and took an HIV test, but it doesn't really mean shit until you've waited three months after the last time you had contact with someone.
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Guess you're never getting a definitive result then.
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don't be a dork wrap your pork.
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Sash, she's getting her test, so I only have to wait another few weeks. No sense in me testing AGAIN in 3 months if her results comes back negative, and she's not getting dicked by another dude. Unlike your one-night stands, she's stuck around and we've talked about tests and shit. She said her last one was about 7 months ago, and between that time and when she met me (~4 months ago), she hadn't had sex with anybody else. We chatted or whatever via text and she said she hasn't had sex with anybody else while having it with me either.
Oh and btw. I think we ARE dating. Going to see a movie tonight, with obviously no sex occurring afterward because my bumps haven't completely cleared away, and I will probably end up paying for the movie/food.
*shakes head*
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wow Kyle, you're just like a real 15 year old now
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ZING!
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It felt so awkward to me. Making the feeling worse, we ending up watching Paper Heart. About a chick who doesn't think she can love anybody or that anybody would love her.
Paper Heart - Trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewisKyyuF78#ws-normal)
I'm stressed out.
EDIT: I guess I might also add that she was looking stunning this evening... don't know if she changed something up with her look (I couldn't pinpoint it if so) of if she just was warm and fuzzy and had a glow about her. She's a number one stunna. HOT.
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she had to look good if she was gonna get laid after you said goodnight dude.
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Bagman has a girlfriend!
I don't know what your girlfriends name is, but for this example I'll call her Sue.
Next time you introduce her to someone, say, "Bob, this is my girlfriend Sue. Sue, this is my friend Bob."
The end.
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She needs a more imaginative name. I'm thinking Hannah Monhandjob.
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She needs a more imaginative name. I'm thinking Hannah Monhandjob HAND-duh M-a-handjob.
Fixed!
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she was looking stunning this evening... don't know if she changed something up with her look
Nah, you're just falling in love.
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Can't help falling in love- UB40 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MxmthbKZYU#noexternalembed-normal)
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How about KyleDriver?
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I'm going to need a picture of this chic to make sure she's a for real gal and not just a cardboard cut out of pink crayon.
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She texted me cute little notes today. Aw. Great.
Bad, bad fucking news. Three more bumps came up today. Two of them were on the base of my penis, and the other one up in the mons area where the others are. WHY ARE YOU SHITTING ON ME GOD? I have been changing my sheets a few times a week, changing my towels frequently, not picking or scratching, putting the Zymaderm on nightly after my shower, and for ASGJASRKL:TGWERAGTWhgklag all of this I get 3 MORE? jhioho;ghohjiodgjkl'
I tore the two off the base of my penis off. Fuck this shit.
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All those years you made fun of me for having herpes, and now you have it. This is too good!
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HAHAHAHAHA!
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W00t!
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This gets better and better with each day!
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It can take up to 13 months for your immune system to fight it off completely, Kyle, and until then, even if no sores are apparent, it may still come back or be transmitted to another.
So, have fun with that.
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All those years you made fun of me for having herpes, and now you have it. This is too good!
You're just jealous that my problem is temporary.
Enjoy your lifelong companionship, and say hello to the little fellers for me when they stop by to harass you!
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Dear Kyle,
(http://www.crimethinc.com/tools/posters/gender_big.gif)
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Dear Nick,
For every poem written for some emo, transgendered loser, I rub one out.
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All those years you made fun of me for having herpes, and now you have it. This is too good!
You're just jealous that my problem is temporary.
Enjoy your lifelong companionship, and say hello to the little fellers for me when they stop by to harass you!
They stop by every five years or more. Have fun with your daily dilemma.
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WOWZRZ!..!.
BEST.BANTR.EVAR!!!>;;!!!
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All those years you made fun of me for having herpes, and now you have it. This is too good!
Jesus Christ am i the only one on the board that doesn't have an std?
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No.
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Does she want one?
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No but Kyle wants to give her one.
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and she's not getting dicked by another dude.
she just was warm and fuzzy and had a glow about her
Hmm...
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Uh.
I met her mother last night.
Srsly.
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wow Kyle, you're just like a real 15 year old now
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Hahaha!
Jesus Christ am i the only one on the board that doesn't have an std?
Thankfully not.
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Dear Kyle,
(http://www.crimethinc.com/tools/posters/gender_big.gif)
I so wanna stab you in the neck right now ...
All those years you made fun of me for having herpes, and now you have it. This is too good!
Jesus Christ am i the only one on the board that doesn't have an std?
I'm the only other ...
Let's do anal!!!
and she's not getting dicked by another dude.
she just was warm and fuzzy and had a glow about her
Hmm...
Hmm...
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Bagman, can I design your girlfriend's/ soon-to-be fiancee's wedding dress?
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Hahaha. Funny.
I'm going to be in denial of my situation, just like I was with virgin-slayer. It might be time to break it off soon... she's getting too close to me.
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This just in from the future... On a news teaser Bagman's neighbors describe how he was such a nice guy, real quiet, but a bit of a loner, and how surprised they are. Full story at 10.
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Why don't you ask the girl to be your girlfriend? Why would it be such a bad thing for you to have a girlfriend? Why are you so commitment-phobic? If she's hot, a good lay, fun to be around, sweet, nice, etc, then WHY THE FUCK NOT?
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Why don't you ask the girl to be your girlfriend? Why would it be such a bad thing for you to have a girlfriend? Why are you so commitment-phobic? If she's hot, a good lay, fun to be around, sweet, nice, and hasn't dumped you despite the crap growing on your junk, then WHY THE FUCK NOT?
Because he's such a stud he needs to go pick up a few more STDs from random bitches.
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This just in from the future... On a news teaser Bagman's neighbors describe how he was such a nice guy, real quiet, but a bit of a loner, and how surprised they are. Full story at 10.
That's why.
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This just in from the future... On a news teaser Bagman's neighbors describe about the awful stench that his cat hording caused. Animal rescue gets involved. Full story at 10.
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What was that post 10 years ago, from the future, that found him living in a single-wide in the outback, his Acura all rusted out, living on bad pizza, regretting his poor choices?
I love it when prophecies come true...
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Next time you introduce her to someone, say, "Bob, this is my girlfriend Sue. Sue, this is my friend Bob."
HEY, THAT WAS MY IDEA.
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You're just jealous that my problem is temporary.
As Molloscum Contagiosum is a virus, your problem is not temporary. :D
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Yes, it was indeed your idea. It is a brilliant one that bagman should probably use.
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I thought you knew science? What kind of dumbass thinks just because something is a virus that it isn't temporary? Do you still have the chicken pox you got as a kid?
Molloscum certainly likes to overstay it's welcome, but it does go away eventually... as I stated earlier in the thread.
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I thought you knew science? What kind of dumbass thinks just because something is a virus that it isn't temporary? Do you still have the chicken pox you got as a kid?
Yes, you do still have some chicken pox viruses floating around in your system from when you were a kid. You also have newer chicken pox viruses from other people spreading it to you through daily contact, plus some mutants from the original childhood illness.
What keeps you alive is the constant vigilance of your immune system. This is why diseases which attack your immune system (such as HIV) rarely kill a person directly; such a disease disables your body's ability to defend against many of the things which have come to reside in it (or will come to reside in it through daily contact) over time.
Molloscum certainly likes to overstay it's welcome, but it does go away eventually... as I stated earlier in the thread.
Do you imagine that when there are no symptoms of a disease, that you cannot catch said disease from a carrier?
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For all practical intents and purposes, it goes away. You no longer show any symptoms, and you can no longer infect others.
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i never new that
so the fact that I get bad bacterial ear infections twice every summer here means I'm just susceptible to those bacterium in the heat and not that my ears were not cured last time?
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For all practical intents and purposes, it goes away. You no longer show any symptoms, and you can no longer infect others.
So, are you conceding that I am not COMPLETELY ignorant of biological science, and that I'm merely splitting a hair finer than you chose to do?
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I'm curious of the bacteria side because I have an infection right now, which hurts like hell and I stayed at home today
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As Molloscum Contagiosum is a virus, your problem is not temporary.
This is what you originally stated. It is wrong. The problem is temporary.
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Unless he gets the notorious G.R.I.D.S.
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so the fact that I get bad bacterial ear infections twice every summer here means I'm just susceptible to those bacterium in the heat and not that my ears were not cured last time?
Until we hear back from Wozz, I'll have to defer to his absolute and incomprehensible brilliance where it comes to biology. :)
My guess would be that it's both: environmental conditions which foster bacterial growth, and dormant/resident bacterial colonies which have not quite been eradicated by your immune system. As the bacteria mutate through natural selection (and gamma rays, from your late night mad scientry), they eventually stumble across a genetic combination which does something a little different, for which your body is not prepared. then, bam! ear infection, until your body (with the help of some antibiotics, i assume) can figure out how to deal with the new mutants!
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As Molloscum Contagiosum is a virus, your problem is not temporary.
This is what you originally stated. It is wrong. The problem is temporary.
You're defining "problem" as "symptom". I'm defining "problem" as "infection".
He will no longer be infectious, but he will still be infected.
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Yes, but like the thin man trapped inside of you, it will be impotent... to effect any change in it's environment.
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Yes, but like the thin man trapped inside of you, it will be impotent... to effect any change in it's environment.
So, are you conceding that I am not COMPLETELY ignorant of biological science, and that I'm merely splitting a hair finer than you chose to do?
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Look, jackass:
Billy goes to a doctor, and the doctor says to him, "Oh, that's molloscum, it's only temporary."
Sandra goes to another doctor, and that doctor says to her, "Oh, that's molloscum, and you will have it forever."
Which doctor do you think is more likely to have complaints filed against him, and a possible civil suit, for distressing his patients in order to indulge his fucking OCD?
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this can only be resolved one way, hot-dog eating contest
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Holy shit, even I don't have to prove myself right about everything all of the time.
P.S. Nick:
Feed a cold; starve a fever.
-
Holy shit, even I don't have to prove myself right about everything all of the time.
Hey but this is LG, where you're always right, even if you're wrong, and the other guy is always wrong, even if he's right.
-
Which doctor do you think is more likely to have complaints filed against him, and a possible civil suit, for distressing his patients in order to indulge his fucking OCD?
Irrelevant, since I'm not a doctor, and content of this forum is not medical advice.
Nice strawman argument, though. It goes well with your ad hominem earlier, rounding out your basic set of logical fallacies for the evening.
-
I'm just shaking my head right now ...
Why, Baggie; why?
-
R2, perhaps you should let the wookie win once in a while...
-
the wookie
Danzig?
-
I don't judge.
-
I think Kyle should just suck it up and ask Andie to the prom.
(http://snarkerati.com/movie-news/files/2008/07/prettyinpink_l.jpg)
-
(http://www.ugo.com/movies/john-hughes-totally-awesome-losers/images/entries/farmer-ted.jpg)
-
Kyle in 20 years:
(http://images.allmoviephoto.com/2001_Ghost_World/steve_buscemi_ghost_world_001.jpg)
Except that guy got to bang Thora Birch...
-
I think Kyle should just suck it up and ask Andie to the prom.
(http://snarkerati.com/movie-news/files/2008/07/prettyinpink_l.jpg)
I just want to say I always hated that stupid dress she made.
-
same. lets be best friends
-
I've never seen Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club. Go me!
-
HUGHES HERETIC!
But have you seen Ghost World?
-
When a redhead wears pink it tends to look as if she's clothed herself in her own asshole.
-
same. lets be best friends
<3 BFF
HUGHES HERETIC!
But have you seen Ghost World?
Yes!
-
HUGHES HERETIC!
But have you seen Ghost World?
Of course. Buscemi is awesome!
-
HUGHES HERETIC!
But have you seen Ghost World?
Of course. Buscemi is awesome!
So were Thora Birch's tits. And she was quite the chubby little morsel in that movie...
-
When a redhead wears pink it tends to look as if she's clothed herself in her own asshole.
Please write a fashion tips book, with nothing but quips like this.
Oh yeah, and please use the word arsehole instead of asshole.
-
I'm scratching my head at which word you had to go back and spell correctly in that last post.
-
I'm scratching my head at which word you had to go back and spell correctly in that last post.
arsehole
tip
-
I edited it to add the arsehole part.
-
I've never seen Sixteen Candles or The Breakfast Club. Go me!
-
Arsehole is a good word.
-
Arsehole is a good word.
You're probably the sexiest woman alive.
-
I found the definitive source of my molloscum outbreak. She went to the doc on Monday to get tested for HIV, and mentioned to her doc that I have molloscum. Her doctor did a thorough pussy-area search and found a single tiny bump that appears to be molloscum. :-\
She feels bad. Oh well. Bad things happen to good people.
-
...good people and bagman.
-
wah hahah ahaha aha ha.
-
Sounds like you weren't the first to "win" the craigslist lottery on her, then.
-
Hahahaha oh man.
-
Wait.... wait..... so you didn't just assume she gave it to you? You've only had sex with two people in your whole life and you didn't sit there, for ten seconds, and come to the conclusion that she gave it to you?
-
I think it's 3 people now. 4 if you include Kyle.
-
...and your hand.
-
I have ten bucks that say he had sex with HomelessJoe.
The fake one.
-
But wait, does Kyle have to add lesions to his dick clone now?
-
(http://www.balloontwisting.co.uk/shop/images/RedSharpie.png)
-
gahahahahahaahahaha
-
Obviously I thought it was this chick who gave it to me, but she said she hasn't seen any bumps anywhere around her pubic region. Well that changed when she told her doctor I had molloscum and the doc combed through her pubes, and found a bump, which she thought all along was an aggravated hair follicle and thus didn't bother telling me about said bump.
I'm definitely not naive enough to think this was the FIRST time the girl replied to a Craigslist ad for some hot sex. Shrugs -- don't matter to me, unless she's been fucking some other dude in addition to me the past few months. She hasn't, so she says.
Also, I love posting pictures of my cock, so please continue to give me reason's to do so!
-
Score. My gal is super cool, and not uptight at all. We went to this local porn shop called the Megaplexxx tonight (if you recall "J" and I went here for Valentine's Day and she didn't like it -- she was all weirded out), and she was totally at ease. We were looking at all the toys, and proceeded to check out the VAST collection of DVDs (and even some Blu-ray porn). We laughed at the midget porn, the amputee and foot fetish porn, the preggers and then started getting horny as fuck looking at the backs of the "Grandma likes to fuck" videos.
Anyway, guess what? GUESS THE FUCK WHAT? I bought her a clone-a-pussy!!!!!! HAHA it was a fucking sign. I showed it to her online a couple of weeks ago and had no idea they had any IN STORE at the local porn shop. As soon as we saw it we knew she had to try it out.
:)
Pictures may or may not be posted after the mold has been created.
-
There are guidelines about image size.
-
If the pussy in question is comfortable with Bagman's dick, I doubt a lifesize picture would stretch our bandwidth too much.
-
I'd have room to spare on my cellphone screen, I'm sure.
-
combed through her pubes
Eww!
-
I like the idea of a clone a vag. If you're not in the mood you can just throw it at the guy and say, "this should be quite like the original."
-
Do you remember that wind up toy from the Megaplexxx I got you back in high school, that was a dude fucking a sheep? I guess I was 18... you were 17. I remember bringing it to Ms. Seymore's math class and winding it up on my desk haha -- I don't think you were in that class, it must have been me just playing with it before I gave it to you.
I've been severely disappointed the past few times I have gone that they no longer have wind up toys like that.
-
www.lillianvernon.com (http://www.lillianvernon.com)
a wind up toy that was a dude fucking a sheep
And why would you get that for 13Chems and not underclass???
-
combed through her pubes
Eww!
It depends upon how vast they are ...
-
Not really.
-
www.lillianvernon.com (http://www.lillianvernon.com)
a wind up toy that was a dude fucking a sheep
And why would you get that for 13Chems and not underclass???
I think someone stole that from me. GOD you remember everything Kyle. I think I have killed too many brain cells.
-
A little less mystery for you guys.
(http://img34.imageshack.us/img34/355/img1240zc.jpg)
-
?
-
thanks for clearing it up
-
That could be a picture of anyone off of anyone's computer from anywhere.
-
Oh it most certainly could.
It could also have been taken with my Canon Digital Rebel, at Wild Basin Preserve today.
Check this crazy cactus out too -- we were wondering if it the holes in it were naturally eaten out by insects or if somebody poked them in it. It's almost too uncanny to be so face-like.
(http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/1631/img1242m.jpg)
Another random shot I took of the preserve.
(http://img30.imageshack.us/img30/8646/img1239v.jpg)
I'm glad I took my camera -- I enjoy photography, and need to do more of it. I spent $600 on the fucking camera like two years ago and haven't used it nearly as much as I would like to have.
-
Yes Kyle. Those two triangular holes, very defined like the eyes of a jack o lantern, occurred naturally.
-
$600? You need to learn how to use your $600 camera, because those photos looks like the were taken with a cell phone.
-
yeah man, these are over exposed.
-
unprotected sex is like sex with hitler. (http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/video/2009/sep/08/aids-ad-hitler-germany)
NB: youtube has removed the videos so you'll just have to look at the link on the website.
-
So this weekend we're going to get her pussy cloned. This'll be fun and amusing. I wonder if the more aroused you are and the more stimulated your clit is the deeper the indention in the molding, and the more pronounced the clit is on the finished product. I would have to go with probably...
Also, I forgot to mention one thing about the other night -- we were talking about fetishes again, and I could tell she wasn't giving up some dark fantasy that she had during the discussion. Finally after a big of tug-of-war I toppled her over. She said she used to have big time rape fantasies. She said I should buy a fake gun. I got really serious (mind you this discussion is at the restaurant we were at, but you also know my thoughts on exhibitionism) and said "Get on the bed and spreading your fucking legs or I'm going to kill you." Hahaha she thought it was awesome.
Who knows... but in all seriousness I think I would feel like even more of a weirdo than I already feel like, if I pretended to rape her.
-
what
-
It is very common.
-
That's some greasy hair.
-
That's some greasy hair.
I wondered about the hair, but then I figured maybe I was just a little inexperienced with hair/white girls.
-
Oh you know, she doesn't shower often. I like the oily, smelly ones.
~100 degree weather, hiking down to the bottom of that basin and back up, tends to cause some sweaty/greasyness.
-
Hey man, you don't need to explain yourself or your woman to me. Chill, Winston.
-
Yes we don't care what your next communicable disease will be...
We only know it will happen and wait with great abandon for the announcement.
-
I like the idea of a clone a vag. If you're not in the mood you can just throw it at the guy and say, "this should be quite like the original."
The problem with that is once the guy realizes it's easier to fuck the clone than put up with a girl's bullshit, you'll be finding yourself relegated to household chores and the occasional "sup?" in passing in the hallway.
-
Hahahaha!
-
qtbx
-
How come all the shit talking people do to me is in the quotebox? I need to do something about this.
-
I've rather had enough of seeing my own words up there. I feel like my personality split, and a tiny piece of it wandered off and is now instant messaging me from a homeless shelter in Kansas City.
-
I've rather had enough of seeing my own words up there. I feel like my personality split, and a tiny piece of it wandered off and is now instant messaging me from a homeless shelter in Kansas City.
quotebox!
just kidding.
-
Just kidding!
Judy Grimes; Travel update. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMWB1Qo6QX0#ws-normal)
-
So this weekend we're going to get her pussy cloned. This'll be fun and amusing. I wonder if the more aroused you are and the more stimulated your clit is the deeper the indention in the molding, and the more pronounced the clit is on the finished product. I would have to go with probably...
Also, I forgot to mention one thing about the other night -- we were talking about fetishes again, and I could tell she wasn't giving up some dark fantasy that she had during the discussion. Finally after a big of tug-of-war I toppled her over. She said she used to have big time rape fantasies. She said I should buy a fake gun. I got really serious (mind you this discussion is at the restaurant we were at, but you also know my thoughts on exhibitionism) and said "Get on the bed and spreading your fucking legs or I'm going to kill you." Hahaha she thought it was awesome.
Who knows... but in all seriousness I think I would feel like even more of a weirdo than I already feel like, if I pretended to rape her.
Rape night was a success!
-
No cloned pussy yet. I forgot to ask her to bring it over last night. We had a great time yesterday, and last night. :)
She got her results back from the STD tests and everything is negative. Sweet! As I said in another thread my Molloscum has been gone a little over two weeks, and all I have left are a few (4) red spots/scars from where I tore the things off.
Last night we came back to my place and had a lot of fun. She fucked herself with my cloned cock while I masturbated. The smile on her face was priceless... she said she loves seeing guys jerk off. When I blew my load, it was a fucking geyser and covered her chest. She was like "WOW that was a lot of cum!"
Also, we figured out that fucking herself with the rubber cock isn't easy. It has to be well lubed up to work - I guess the rubber against skin is not too condusive.
-
Now to a DP with yourselves ...
-
This just gets grosser and grosser.
-
Yeah ...
I can't wait to see what's next ...
-
Hearing about Kyle's sex life in the early stages while he was still confused about "where the hole was", was funny. Now it's gotten dull. I don't care that his ugly girlfriend can't get wet enough to take his fake cock. Cheeseburgers not giving you enough energy to keep that stamina up Kyle? You have to get her to have sex with your cock double?
-
No, I'm trying to be responsible about my medical problem. I haven't had a bump in a little over two weeks, but I want to make absolutely sure that it's gone. I don't want to ping-pong this shit back-and-forth to each other. So I'm waiting another two weeks, until October before we fuck. So for now, she's getting the next-best-thing and that is my cock stunt double.
FYI - she's A+ hot and definitely hotter than you, Sasha. Of course you guys will get to see her pretty cloned pussy shortly.
Also,
*Rubbing hands together*
Guys, I wasn't even going to throw this out there until the time is right, but I am working on something that is going to blow the pictures of my cloned-cock, and then my real-cock with "love homeless-joe" written on it, out of the water.
What I have planned will be talked about for the rest of your lives. Oh man. You all will just have to remain wet with anticipation until the time is right.
Still working on this.
-
FYI - she's A+ hot and definitely hotter than you, Sasha.
prove it
-
Still working on this.
Not interested in a video of you doing your chick.
By thr way, when do we get to go on a double-date? :)
-
I like the idea of a clone a vag. If you're not in the mood you can just throw it at the guy and say, "this should be quite like the original."
The problem with that is once the guy realizes it's easier to fuck the clone than put up with a girl's bullshit, you'll be finding yourself relegated to household chores and the occasional "sup?" in passing in the hallway.
After fucking my high quality faux-vag (which I named Hayden when I was tweaked out of my head....after Hayden Panettiere, of course), it's actually so fucking similar to a real vag when I apply warming lube that I actually feel I got a piece of my soul back after contracting my virulent friend. Fuck chicks, all I need is Hayden.
No cloned pussy yet. I forgot to ask her to bring it over last night. We had a great time yesterday, and last night. :)
She got her results back from the STD tests and everything is negative. Sweet! As I said in another thread my Molloscum has been gone a little over two weeks, and all I have left are a few (4) red spots/scars from where I tore the things off.
Last night we came back to my place and had a lot of fun. She fucked herself with my cloned cock while I masturbated. The smile on her face was priceless... she said she loves seeing guys jerk off. When I blew my load, it was a fucking geyser and covered her chest. She was like "WOW that was a lot of cum!"
Also, we figured out that fucking herself with the rubber cock isn't easy. It has to be well lubed up to work - I guess the rubber against skin is not too condusive.
Thank you for ruining my already low sex drive.
-
Oh yeah, and this is all I need to think of when I close my eyes and I'm really perfectly fine:
(http://www.rochardsbunnyranch.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/hayden-panettiere-super_tongue.jpg)
-
Dude she's pretty bleh.
-
YOUR MOM IS PRETTY BLEH.
-
She's got pretty feet though...
(http://www.mrnudes.com/baby-lonx/hayden-panettiere/hayden-panettiere_15.jpg)
-
She's got pretty everything.
(http://i265.photobucket.com/albums/ii215/autorblogdelatele/Hayden/Hayden-Panettiere-BikiniCollage-1.jpg)
-
Including 7 twin sisters!
-
Zing!
-
No shape whatsoever.
-
No shape whatsoever.
Assuming you are referring to the shape of a cock under her pants?
Fag.
She's hot.
-
One of the few times I'll agree with Kyle.
-
After fucking my high quality faux-vag (which I named Hayden when I was tweaked out of my head....after Hayden Panettiere, of course), it's actually so fucking similar to a real vag when I apply warming lube that I actually feel I got a piece of my soul back after contracting my virulent friend. Fuck chicks, all I need is Hayden.
Which one's this; my friend has fucked 'em all in his quest to either
1) avoid women for a (long) while
2) get satisfaction while he is actually in the closet
or
3) realize he's a dork with no game and couldn't get a woman if he tried 'cause he looks like Doctor Sinister on The Flintstones
... he says they are all shit and are nothing like the real thing, however, It's not been incentive for him to at least get a fuckbuddy
You fucking closeted homos ...
-
Dylan, why don't you just go all the way.
(http://www.westwoodpres.org/students/uploads/2009/04/lars2.jpg)
-
After fucking my high quality faux-vag (which I named Hayden when I was tweaked out of my head....after Hayden Panettiere, of course), it's actually so fucking similar to a real vag when I apply warming lube that I actually feel I got a piece of my soul back after contracting my virulent friend. Fuck chicks, all I need is Hayden.
Which one's this; my friend has fucked 'em all in his quest to either
1) avoid women for a (long) while
2) get satisfaction while he is actually in the closet
or
3) realize he's a dork with no game and couldn't get a woman if he tried 'cause he looks like Doctor Sinister on The Flintstones
... he says they are all shit and are nothing like the real thing, however, It's not been incentive for him to at least get a fuckbuddy
You fucking closeted homos ...
I actually forget the brand but it was the most expensive one down from the fleshlight.
-
Hmmm, I'll ask him; he's probably fucked it before ...
I know he's tried a FleshLight ...
I don't remember what he thought of it ...
-
Ok, so I got the first present in (I am not going to share with you all the rest of them because they aren't that interesting) for my lady friend.
It's a DVD -- can anybody guess what DVD?
(http://img269.imageshack.us/img269/2863/dvdj.jpg)
Hint:
(http://students.cup.edu/sac9223/Jerry_Seinfeld.jpg)
-
Jewish Handjobs Part 2?
-
Bee Movie?
-
gifts?? yeah, shes your girlfriend.
-
gifts?? yeah, shes your girlfriend.
not necessarily. remember costa rica?
-
oh yeah. that was weird. and screamed "i'm desperate".
-
Kyle's bought his partner one more thing this year than I've bought mine.
If you exclude rent, utilities and food that is.
-
Yeah, I'm conceding on the boy/girl friend thing. We still haven't talked about it, but she's calling me hun and I'm calling her sweets n shit now after this past weekend hanging out over 24hours.
Lame fucking guessers. Why do you think I would ask about the DVD in the SEX forum? When we were at the porno shop buying the Clone-A-Pussy we looked through their porn movies. We saw this hilarious looking (from the cover) Seinfeld XXX porn and she said we should rent it one day. (They didn't have it on sale). Then, last weekend she mentioned it again after the topic of masturbating and porn came up, and she said she was actually going to try and buy it.
Well... she doesn't have to! Her birthday is next week, and haha she will love it.
Seinfeld XXX Parody (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0PDNpP6OBlg#ws-normal)
Why do I sort of feel like De Niro, in Taxi Driver though?
Also, I'm part trashy AND classy. I am thinking of taking her to this place: http://austinist.com/2009/08/06/south_austins_olivia_in_bon_appetit.php (http://austinist.com/2009/08/06/south_austins_olivia_in_bon_appetit.php) voted among Bon Appetit's (the magazine) Top 10 Best New Restaurants in America.
-
Dude, that's funny ...
Thanks for conceding ....
It means a lot to Tricky ...
-
According to Lucky (and quotebox) you're supposed to buy her a piece of jewelry with the word "cumbucket" inscribed on it.
Soon.
-
that Sienfeld thing looks funny.
-
Yeah, Kyle; rip me a copy of it ...
-
That is the worst gift ever.
-
That's what your mom said about you after someone told her that children are gifts from God.
-
That is the worst gift ever.
Yeah, if it's not a Chanel necklace, it's dog shit.
-
No, seriously, I want a rip of it ...
I'll PM you the address ...
I thought it was extremely funny in the YouTube ad ...
-
Well I don't ever get gifts so I guess you win Kyle. WAIT! I did actually receive a gift from Luke recently, a fan. It was a simple gift that served a household purpose. Nothing says things are completely platonic like an ionic fan.
-
Hmm ...
-
I did actually receive a gift from Luke recently, a fan. It was a simple gift that served a household purpose. Nothing says things are completely platonic like an ionic fan.
I don't think it's ionic.
What does that say?
-
That is the worst gift ever.
Yeah, if it's not a Chanel necklace, it's dog shit.
-
I did actually receive a gift from Luke recently, a fan. It was a simple gift that served a household purpose. Nothing says things are completely platonic like an ionic fan.
I don't think it's ionic.
What does that say?
Maybe it was an ironic fan...
-
I like the way she smells. We went to this festival called the Pecan Street Festival today, walked around and got damn sweaty, and then went back to my place. I get instant wood smelling her on my bed.
I guess I understand the pheromone thing... and why chicks like wearing their dude's clothes.
-
Do I have to link to that thread again, man?
-
You do every time you post!
-
It's not that thread, is it?
I thought the linked one was ...
Fuck, now I have to go and look ...
-
Dam, somebody got Thrash to click his own link.
-
"No clickie Thrashie linkie"?
-
The wise old man on the sea once said that...
-
*nods*
Figured I'd actually take someone else's advice for once ...
-
Sex. Sex. Sex. Finally. I told you come October it's ON, and 10/1 IT WAS ON. Took her to her out for her b-day dinner, wined and dined, opened presents including the Seinfeld porn which of course we popped in immediately and it is pretty damn funny but we fast forwarded through a lot. There's no need for over two hours of porn AND an extra BONUS dvd. For foreplay I made her orgasm so intensely she just laid there in an exhausted lump, after I went down on her. Blahb laa blah I am exhausted myself. algaaiohoiahahdw34tw
SEX
-
W4rd ...
-
..Burt W4rd.
-
I wish I had sex last night but I didn't because I'm not allowed until next Wednesday.
-
Sex. Sex. Sex. Finally. I told you come October it's ON, and 10/1 IT WAS ON. Took her to her out for her b-day dinner, wined and dined, opened presents including the Seinfeld porn which of course we popped in immediately and it is pretty damn funny but we fast forwarded through a lot. There's no need for over two hours of porn AND an extra BONUS dvd. For foreplay I made her orgasm so intensely she just laid there in an exhausted lump, after I went down on her. Blahb laa blah I am exhausted myself. algaaiohoiahahdw34tw
SEX
Ha ha!
You waited 28 years for that shit you douchebag!
-
please tell me it's sexier when i post my sexual antics than when baggie does.
-
please tell me it's sexier when i post my sexual antics than when baggie does.
yep.
-
attn: baggie
she could be faking it. getting wet, writhing, moaning, all of it-- it all could be an act. i don't care how confident you are that your girls' orgasms are legit. talk to any sexually active woman here. not that we'd ever be in the position to, but we'd totally expect to fake it with a nearly 30 y/o dude who just lost his V.
-
no, hip, she isn't faking anything. he's a KILLER in bed, and that's all there is to it.
haven't you been paying attention?!
-
I've been paying attention and now my mind is deformed.
-
Sasha, we need for you to fuck Kyle and report back to us on his sexual prowess.
Come on baby, take one for the team.
-
You would need to sweep the room for cams first.
-
They could do it at randomly selected hotel room of her choosing.
-
They should do it at randomly selected hotel room of her choosing.
-
Either way somebody ends up in the trunk.
-
I think that's why she pretends to barf whenever he talks about getting some. She wants him.
-
13 chems, I agree with krsna. You need to take one for the team and give a full report back. Just turn the lights out and put on some loud music... you dont have to kiss him either
-
But just for our entertainment, you should wait until you're active.
-
Listen. I'm a short, skinny, barely-average looking guy, who doesn't flash his money around to women, and for some reason these women keep coming back to me. I'm just as confused as you all are. I completely expected to be terrible in the sack for a long time, until I built confidence and got better. Well, it didn't take that long for the confidence building.
The women I have been with this year have had incredible orgasms with me, one, saying no other guy has ever made her cum during intercourse before and literally gushing on my chest whenever she rode me cowgirl, and the second having orgasms from breast-stimulation only and easily from el finger-fucking and me eating her out. She has not had one ever during intercourse, but I am literally working some angles to get it done. I think my bony pubic bone is a god-send, which I have said before.
I didn't tell the de-virginator, that I was a virgin until over 2 months after we'd been having sex. So why bother faking orgasms and "fake gushing" with an average-joe shmoe? To make me feel better? If at all, she would have known after getting to know me that if she'd told me she wasn't getting orgasms, I'd work on it like a mother. I lack motivation in many aspects of my life, but getting my girl to orgasm is not one of them. My current gal had no clue about my sexual history (nor I about hers) for the first few months. Yet again, she kept coming back and telling me "GOD that feels incredible", etc. Last night after I left her gasping for breath on the couch, she said she usually didn't like guys eating her out, but I was amazing at it and she said her orgasm was unbelievable. I could tell while I was doing it... I could barely catch a breath and she pushed my head down hard into her snatch.
I understand women fake orgasms, but why fake them to me when there are so many other dudes out there for these women that could give them "real" orgasms. I don't get that part.
They smiled, blushed and talked with me without averting their eyes when giving me the various comments I have gotten over the past 10 months. If they darted their eyes around or fidgeted or whatever the hell else while telling me I give them amazing orgasms, I would be inclined to think they are faking it.
But hey, I'm going to keep doing what I am doing. I am getting sex, whether or not she is faking it or not. She can just pretend to keep liking it and keep coming over and fucking me again, and wasting all her energy on faking orgasms instead of actually have real orgasms, with guys that can give her real ones.
I got something, and I don't even know what it is but I know work ethic is a big part of it.
-
You're still going to wind up in a single-wide in the desert...
-
Why can't he fuck another dude? His dick isn't big enough for me.
-
Kyle, you shouldn't talk with your women. After fucking them you watch Sportscenter. Clear?
-
or you could deflate her and put her back in the box like nick does...
-
either way, conversing with them is a waste of your soon-to-be-a-millionaire time
-
she usually didn't like guys eating her out[/img]
thats either a boldface lie, or she never had anything worthwhile.
-
Kyle, you shouldn't talk with your women. After fucking them you watch Sportscenter. Clear?
Remember, I don't have cable anymore.
-
Where in the fuck is that old "Vote 'Yes' On 28" pic when I need it?
-
(http://i234.photobucket.com/albums/ee61/ughnews/2001LG_011-1.jpg)
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she usually didn't like guys eating her out[/img]
thats either a boldface lie, or she never had anything worthwhile.
Not necessarily. Leah's a total freak and she's really not that into it. So weird.
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Not freaky enough to tell you you aren't doing it right.
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Eh, could be.
Or maybe she's just so freaky that she doesn't appreciate being treated "nicely" as much as she likes being roughly used.
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An ex of mine wasn't into it either. Not giving or receiving. Thankfully that shit's over.
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My roommate refuses to tell her boyfriend why she won't suck his cock. It's because it's too small to make it enjoyable. If she isn't gagging on it, it isn't worth doing..... Agreed.
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So, he's got money then?
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Hahaha, yea. He pays for everything since she is broke.
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Why the fuck am I tossing and turning and now posting on a damn message board at 4am. We had the talk; I finally brought it up. It only took nearly 5.5 months.
After last Thursday when she told me about the random guy who wanted her phone number in the elevator, I was a little jealous. First time I'd felt that way with her. The conversation started off with me talking about all the creepy things I have found on people's home pcs while cleaning them up, etc. I asked if she'd had any naked photos of her, blah blah. It escalated fairly quickly to one night stands somehow, and she said she has "probably" had 3 or 4. Plus at least two guys before the one night stands, a relatively long-term boyfriend (1yr) and me. I didn't really ask for her sexual history, (only the one night stands) and she divulged the rest on her own. So whatever, what's happened in the past happened in the past. Conversation continues...
... and I tell her how I felt when she told me about the guy wanting her phone number. I bring up how we haven't talked about exclusivity, and then she says she didn't think I really was looking for a relationship, because of how I ended it with "J" after she blew up at me about the whole relationship/dating thing. She thought I "wasn't a guy into exclusive relationships" and said she thought I didn't care one way or the other. So I said, ya know, fair enough and that I do care. I asked her what she thought of the feelings I felt when she told me about the dude wanting her number. She said it is touching that I feel that way, but also surprising. I told her the feelings surprised myself, because they did. I told her I care for her, and she said she cares for me too. Then to break the serious conversation I sighed and said "Sweet so we're exclusive! That was easy!" obviously not meaning it as serious. Then I said all kidding aside, I want us to be exclusive. She fumbled, and I grumbled. She said she "sort of" has a fear of commitment, but immediately followed with "but I'm not saying I want to go out and fuck and date a bunch of guys or even any other guys" but that she is afraid of getting hurt and whatever. She said "All of my relationships have failed. {laughter} Obviously."
Blah blah. Then we started talking about other things like birth control and whatever else, shit and kind of just ignored it for the rest of the conversation. Anyway I'm actually getting tired now.
So, who knows. I'm going to lay off for a couple of days and not contact her. See what ends up happening.
I do have a slightly tight chest, so it is affecting me a bit. Not like it used to, but it still doesn't feel good. Meh. Next week is my birthday, and she was planning on taking me out. We'll see what happens.
Another life lesson for the bagman. There have been MANY in the past year.
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She said "All of my relationships have failed."
you can turn this girl around!
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srsly though - just be nice to her and give it time.
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As Keats would write to get a girl:
"I cannot exist without you - I am forgetful of every thing but seeing you again - my Life seems to stop there - I see no further. You have absorb'd me. I have a sensation at the present moment as though I was dissolving - I should be exquisitely miserable without the hope of soon seeing you. I should be afraid to separate myself far from you. My sweet *insert name here*, will your heart never change?"
Why don't you just copy and paste that stuff above to her via email? Knowing how my ovaries swoon over it, I'm sure hers will too.
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The future's so bright, Kyle's gotta wear shades...
But then...
(http://kaweahoaks.com/html/mantis_cannibal03.jpg)
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Half sunk a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command...
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Not freaky enough to tell you you aren't doing it right.
i really don't think that's it.
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She said she "sort of" has a fear of commitment, but immediately followed with "but I'm not saying I want to go out and fuck and date a bunch of guys or even any other guys" but that she is afraid of getting hurt and whatever. She said "All of my relationships have failed. {laughter} Obviously."
This sounds terribly familiar.
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Word.
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That's your plan?
YES, that's his plan!
Dude, he has dated SEVERAL girls, and had sex with SOME of them! He knows what he's doing, so back the fuck off!
I'll tell you what - when you've walked a mile in his shoes and lived his ~3-to-5-girls-in-one-year lifestyle, come right back with your advice on how to deal with ladies!
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see, that's what sarcasm looks like when I use it. more exclaimation points.
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thanks, that cleared it up for me
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I'd say we created a monster but I think FHM is responsible for this gobshite.
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I hate all of this, because I understand NONE of it. "This" being emotions and relationships. That is why I like being alone frequently, and often find myself daydreaming about being alone on the moon. Sometimes I miss being a virgin, because things were so simple then.
I guess I wanted to back away for a few days, for myself. I need distance after getting my thoughts out there. Is that so wrong? But it didn't happen anyway. She texted me all day, more than she has ever before. It's cool she wants to talk, but this is what I was afraid of. I don't want her to be overbearingly attached now that I gave the "green light". I would like us to stay similar to what we were before, but now we know we are exclusive. She does her own things, I do mine, and we do things together but not every day. I need to learn more about this concept of give-and-take.
Anyway, she's really sick - 101.8 fever, and sore throat. Which doesn't bode well for me. I woke up with a slightly sore throat.
Either Sasha gave me swine flu when I finished the bit of whiskey up in the bottle she'd been drinking, or Ian brought some incurable Ozzy flu with him down here.
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you guys will figure it out, just don't spout any of that last post to her for the next 3 months.
Also, it's OK to ignore texts for a few hours and say you were busy
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Don't blame your slutty girlfriend giving you swine flu on me.
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Gawd what a bunch of whiney faggots, it's not that bad, right Burn... we did this already.
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This bagfagmanery must cease. I say we start the "bagman getting his rocks off in Japan" campaign.
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$100 and a trip to Ueno. Problem solved.
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I'm not paying for anything more than a $5 ruffie.
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for him?
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(http://www.kotulas.com/wcsstore/KOTStore/images/icons/low-price-guarantee.gif)
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What kind of quality do you get for $100?
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Quite a bit - this (http://this) will set you back $60 for an hour.
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Quite a bit - this (http://this) will set you back $60 for an hour. [url]http://i-moga.com/ginza/nami/01.jpg[/this] maybe $130
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fairly drunk, eh nick?
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the link to a $60 whore is broken.
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sorry, I'll fix them later.
Japan has it's shit organized, yo. There's a huge online directory of slaaaaahts for you to browse through. Tens of thousands of 'em
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Listen. I'm a short, skinny, barely-average looking guy, who doesn't flash his money around to women, and for some reason these women keep coming back to me. I'm just as confused as you all are. I completely expected to be terrible in the sack for a long time, until I built confidence and got better. Well, it didn't take that long for the confidence building.
The women I have been with this year have had incredible orgasms with me, one, saying no other guy has ever made her cum during intercourse before and literally gushing on my chest whenever she rode me cowgirl, and the second having orgasms from breast-stimulation only and easily from el finger-fucking and me eating her out. She has not had one ever during intercourse, but I am literally working some angles to get it done. I think my bony pubic bone is a god-send, which I have said before.
Drake - Best I Ever Had (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hb0KowdtK6Y#ws-normal)
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how come his girl's team gets their asses kicked? he should've busted out his gat and popped caps in all those green-costumed bitches' domes.
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great song. and I'm yet to listen to it without mute on
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There was a game?
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That guy was in Degrassi, his char got shot I think and he ended up in a wheelchair.
I only watched season 6 I think and in that he had srz problems trying to get it up to fuck his gf.
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... oh, and now that yer "exclusive", press her for anal!
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I would think he would get less anal if he was exclusive.
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I dunno; it seems my girl is "holding out", we went over this ....
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I don't think you are ever going to get anal from this girl. Give up the dream my friend.
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Never, you can't tell ME that you love and then NOT do it with me ...
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that is, in fact, the merriam-webster definition of "tease".
how many promises has any man heard in his life to that effect?
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Knowing what I know about her, and how we've progressed, she's "holding out" ...
It's just my gut feeling ...
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Hating women isnt really a good starting point for gut instincts about women.
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It's not a starting point. It's a result, Einstein.
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HOW MUCH FOR THE LITTLE GIRL!
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It's not a starting point. It's a result, Einstein.
The forced/learned corruption of opinions; infects conclusions.
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We all draw conclusions based on life experience.
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Kyle.
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I draw all of my conclusions from internet experiences.
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Dave
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Hahaha!
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I draw all of my conclusions from my adamantine personal opinion.
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See, Zoomie gets it ...
I guess I can explain it in detail, if necessary ...
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it's never funny when it has to be 'splained
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Three trips to the altar: $125,000
Two divorces: $45,000
Getting your buddies to drive you past her house while you moon her HOUSE and throw beer cans on her front lawn: PRICELESS.
This is WHY I understand.
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If you're in here tonight and you have never contemplated murder... you've never been divorced.
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Let's just say that, as a result, I'm not gonna have a very happy birthday ....
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That is why I don't think I would ever get married..... because I can't afford it.
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I have other reasons ...
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Green card?
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That too ...