Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!

General Category => Discontempt => Topic started by: Drugmoth on January 19, 2010, 02:19:39 PM

Title: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Drugmoth on January 19, 2010, 02:19:39 PM
IN WATERVILLE, Sunday at 11:46 a.m., a theft was reported on Redington Street.

12:35 p.m., a burglary was reported on Main Street.

1:58 p.m., a shoplifter was reported at Wal-Mart.

2:19 p.m., a case involving criminal mischief was reported at the main dorm at Thomas College off West River Road.

3:46 p.m., the theft of a laptop computer was reported at Waterville Senior High School.

4:11 p.m., a theft was reported at The Home Depot.

8:52 p.m., juvenile offenses were reported on Sherwin Street.

9:36 p.m., excessive water was reported on the road on Mayflower Hill Drive.

10:04 p.m., a case involving threatening was reported at Appleton Apartments on Hathaway Street.

10:16 p.m., a case involving criminal mischief was reported on the Wal-Mart parking lot.

Monday at 12:25 a.m., a case involving criminal mischief was reported on West River Road.

10:11 a.m., a vehicle accident with personal injury was reported on Interstate 95 south, near Exit 130.

Fucking EXCITING.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: FAH-Q on January 19, 2010, 02:56:43 PM
You had a busy fucking day, man.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Drugmoth on January 19, 2010, 04:06:17 PM
Yeah, took a while.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Zoomie on January 19, 2010, 04:54:29 PM
9:36 p.m., excessive water was reported on the road on Mayflower Hill Drive.

This is a crime?

Anyway, I wish our police log was as benign. We had an entry team across the street serving warrants at 11:45pm last night. All of the police logs here are issued the following day in .pdf as press releases online. Looks like all the crime here is committed by tall, thin black males, except the teachers who get caught screwing their students. And they are relatively unattractive white females in their late 20s.

I gotta get out of here...
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Drugmoth on January 19, 2010, 05:11:31 PM
Come to Waterville!  Where excessive water in the road is a motherfucking crime.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Thrash on January 19, 2010, 05:30:28 PM
Take a look at Jacksonville's or even Philly's, or Detroit's ....
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: mosh on January 20, 2010, 01:58:28 AM
Shit, all we do here is beat the shit out of Indian students... it's the new national sports obsession!

I wish we had water all over the road.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: underclass on January 20, 2010, 04:33:17 AM
Or water period
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: mosh on January 20, 2010, 04:49:04 AM
ewww a water period....
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Drugmoth on January 20, 2010, 03:08:04 PM
Sounds better than a bloody period.  I vote YES on water periods.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Thrash on January 20, 2010, 05:44:22 PM
Gives yet another new meaning to the term "water sports" ...
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: mosh on January 21, 2010, 02:28:01 AM
so does extreme diarrhoea...
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: underclass on January 21, 2010, 02:38:49 AM
I was across the road from Chopper Read
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: underclass on January 21, 2010, 09:51:40 AM
Only foreigners, namely Chinese people, commit crimes in Japan
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: tricky on January 21, 2010, 01:07:36 PM
ewww a water period....

Fuck you for making me LOL at work.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: mosh on January 21, 2010, 08:11:13 PM
You're welcome.
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Thrash on January 21, 2010, 09:42:26 PM
You aren't allowed to laugh at work?
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: mosh on January 22, 2010, 04:54:02 AM
I was across the road from Chopper Read

Next time, we meet the ol' toecutter...
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: FAH-Q on January 23, 2010, 03:15:02 PM
Push me? Shove you! Oh yeah? Says who?!
Title: Re: Police log: Waterville!
Post by: Thrash on January 23, 2010, 03:18:20 PM
(http://www.popeyefreshfoods.com/images/brutus.gif)