Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!

General Category => Sex/Gossip => Topic started by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:24:00 AM

Title: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:24:00 AM
Maybe I'll tell you about it tomorrow when I'm not so tired.

A couple facts regarding this date: I feel really gross right now and I'm going to have to get my dress drycleaned because there's semen on it.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 27, 2009, 01:25:01 AM
iono. sounds like somebody had a pretty good time.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:25:51 AM
Nope. I feel disgusted.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 01:26:55 AM
Haha....Monica.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 27, 2009, 01:27:59 AM
way to go for the obvious joke, ziggy.

send him the bill for the dry cleaning. your date, i mean. not danzig.

fuck, send it to danzig, too. and dave. and kyle. somebody will pony up and pay the fucking thing.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:29:54 AM
Haha....Monica.

Actually yeah I feel similar to her right now!

way to go for the obvious joke, ziggy.

send him the bill for the dry cleaning. your date, i mean. not danzig.

fuck, send it to danzig, too. and dave. and kyle. somebody will pony up and pay the fucking thing.

I think I love you.... *swoon*
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 01:32:01 AM
Take a picture of the stain.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:34:22 AM
Ever had your ass dry humped? Ever had your date cum on your tights and get it on your dress and then leave and say "We'll talk, I'm not sure when I'll see you again."

HAHAHAHA thats the social grace of bagman. I mean fine it's not like I'm in love with the guy but if he didn't want to hang out again he could've just said something like "Have a good night, and I'll talk to you later." Not "I don't lnow when I'll see you again." Slightly a step above "Go fuck yourself, bitch."
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:36:18 AM
Take a picture of the stain.

Maybe tomorrow but it just looks clear not white or anything. Don't think it'll show up in a picture.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 01:37:00 AM
Hahaha, you got sperm p'unked.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:39:50 AM
I s'pose so, but I was pretty weird to the guy during the whole hook up. "Don't do that, do this, don't do that, can't do that, yeah I like that. What are you doing??? Ever been fucked in the ass by a girl? Ever swallowed your own semen? Do you spit or swallow when you're giving a guy a BJ? Oh, you don't like guys? Tell your girlfriend I like your valentines day underwear."

I just like fucking with people sometimes...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on March 27, 2009, 01:46:17 AM
And again, I feel dead inside reading this. So. Very. Hollow.

Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 01:50:50 AM
What? Why? I don't get it.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 02:18:55 AM
There was this one time I shot in my own mouth......by accident, let me clarify.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: underclass on March 27, 2009, 02:31:05 AM
So you wierded him out totally and he doesn't want to screw you again.... correct?
Seriously, if a chick was trying to fuck with me I'd figure out a way of fucking with her even more for being an idiot. Just leaving like that is a valid mind-game.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on March 27, 2009, 06:39:43 AM
Dry humping? In my day we'd just fuck in the car in her driveway, go out for a burger and if she liked me, and I liked her, we'd fuck again. That was a typical first date in the 70s. AIDS ruined everything.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 07:39:42 AM
Yeah... I'm not fucking someone I barely know b/c of std's. You can get them even if you use a condom.

On another note, I feel better today and am glad I had this experience because now I know 100% for sure that I do not like hooking up with someone I barely know.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on March 27, 2009, 08:04:53 AM
you need that special Mormon sex sheet.

that'll keep the diseases off.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Dixon Magina on March 27, 2009, 09:11:18 AM
I can't reply in this thread because anything I might say would surely get me in trouble with my girlfriend.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 09:42:37 AM
So you wierded him out totally and he doesn't want to screw you again.... correct?
Seriously, if a chick was trying to fuck with me I'd figure out a way of fucking with her even more for being an idiot. Just leaving like that is a valid mind-game.

If a guy can't handle my jokes, then he's not a guy I would want to hang out with anyways.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: underclass on March 27, 2009, 10:47:21 AM
yeah, but it sounds like you tried to be a smartass and are surprised that he's being impolite back. Maybe you were kidding, I dunno, just going from what you posted first up
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on March 27, 2009, 11:02:33 AM
I can't reply in this thread because anything I might say would surely get me in trouble with my boyfriend.

You homos are so repressed...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on March 27, 2009, 11:03:15 AM
FLAMINGLY REPRESSED!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: underclass on March 27, 2009, 11:29:22 AM
like a wet flannel
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Libertine on March 27, 2009, 04:19:56 PM
He was dry humping you and came?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on March 27, 2009, 04:23:34 PM
Dry hump FTW!

What do you expect from bagman anyway?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 05:07:53 PM
It wasn't bagman. He wishes.

yeah he was like dry humping my butt then I guess he whipped it out and came on my clothing.

Ugh. That guy was fucking hot but I'm way creeped out by him now...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 27, 2009, 05:08:58 PM
It wasn't bagman. He wishes.

yeah he was like humping my butt then I guess he whipped it out and came on my clothing.

Ugh. That guy was fucking hot but I'm way creeped out by him now...

wtf? was this your first date? what a creep.

but i am curious as to why you were face-down/ass-up with your clothes still on.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 05:10:57 PM
yeah it was the first date.

because i didnt wanna have sex but he kept laying on top of me, kissing me/ humping me then we started talking about butt stuff and then he asked me to lay on my stomach then he started doing various other things. i didnt wanna get naked because i totally wasnt wanting to have sex and i thought it would lead to it.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 05:12:01 PM
Yeah, me too ...

You know, if you were a wise-ass to, well ...
I'd do it back in such a way that you'd be scarred for life ...

Either way; it's so fucking H-O-T!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 05:12:43 PM
didnt wanna get naked because i totally wasnt wanting to have sex and i thought it would lead to it.

Quote Box ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on March 27, 2009, 05:13:24 PM
If he was going to soil you he could at least have done it in your hair.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 05:17:06 PM
i was messing with him in a playful way not a mean way...

i have lots off freaky interests and wanted to ensure that this guy was open to these things if there were to be some sort of FB situation with him in the future... but now i'm just creeped out and don't care.

and Thrash why is that a quote? is that silly? taking off clothes is like the gateway to sex. it's like how they said marijuana is the gateway drug to more serious drugs. taking clothes off is the gateway to more intense sexual activities. :P
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on March 27, 2009, 05:19:07 PM
But the funny part is that you seem not entirely sure getting naked would lead to sex. I'll bet you fall for that "just the tip" game too.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 27, 2009, 05:19:53 PM
hahaha
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 05:21:07 PM
But the funny part that seem not entirely sure getting naked would lead to sex. I'll bet you fall for that "just the tip" game too.

Exactly ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 05:24:42 PM
But the funny part is that you seem not entirely sure getting naked would lead to sex. I'll bet you fall for that "just the tip" game too.

Well of course I know, if he got me naked he'd try his damndest to have sex with me but I wouldn't go for it anyways if I didn't want to.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 05:53:06 PM
Why would you have been naked with him otherwise?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 05:55:06 PM
THAT'S WHY I DIDN'T GET NAKED!  :P
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 05:56:39 PM
You didn't sound convincing at first ...

You know, I'm still not sure what happened to you and how, to tell you the truth ...
I'm still turned on though, however, I'm just saying ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 05:57:33 PM
Yeah. I seem to tell stories in bits and pieces in no certain chronological order here on LG.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 06:04:38 PM
Exactly; I'm just not getting it ...
Apparently he THINKS he did ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Libertine on March 27, 2009, 06:39:37 PM
Now that I'm picturing this bizarre situation in my head I just jizzed... in... my... pants.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 27, 2009, 06:52:26 PM
But the funny part is that you seem not entirely sure getting naked would lead to sex. I'll bet you fall for that "just the tip" game too.

Well of course I know, if he got me naked he'd try his damndest to have sex with me but I wouldn't go for it anyways if I didn't want to.

You still seem like you're unsure if you wanted to; meh, he got his (and then cleared the route), that's all that matters ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 09:21:13 PM
Alright I'm getting a semi.

In some other dimension, we'd be a match.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 27, 2009, 09:22:38 PM
You still seem like you're unsure if you wanted to; meh, he got his (and then cleared the route), that's all that matters ...
No I didn't want to. Yeah he got whatever and I got him the fuck out of my apartment.

Now that I'm picturing this bizarre situation in my head I just jizzed... in... my... pants.

Hot.

Alright I'm getting a semi.

In some other dimension, we'd be a match.

Hahahaha
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on March 27, 2009, 10:13:37 PM
This is the most confusing story ever. You're like a high school girl who got all nasty but doesn't want to admit it so she makes up some nonsensical excuse for why she has jiz all over her.

Except you didn't have to tell us any of this, we never knew you had jiz all over you.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 10:32:47 PM
The dude likes to jizz on small birds, so what?  I like to jizz on large beasts.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 27, 2009, 10:34:27 PM
i know people have said it to you before but...

you are the weirdest dude i've ever not-met.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 27, 2009, 10:36:48 PM
Yar.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Wozzeck on March 28, 2009, 12:54:39 AM
What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 01:11:55 AM
Jiggling udders.....mmmmm......
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Libertine on March 28, 2009, 01:35:13 AM
The dude likes to jizz on small birds, so what?  I like to jizz on large beasts.

Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time to j/o on a Brontosaurus and see if he would notice before his species went extinct.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 01:51:26 AM
The dude likes to jizz on small birds, so what?  I like to jizz on large beasts.

Sometimes I wish I could travel back in time to j/o on a Brontosaurus and see if he would notice before his species went extinct.

Who's stopping you?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Libertine on March 28, 2009, 01:57:34 AM
Who's stopping you?

Let's go together.

(http://heroeswiki.com/images/7/79/Hiro_Ando_teleport.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 01:58:33 AM
Save the Brontosaurus, save the world!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 28, 2009, 01:59:30 AM
JESUS CHRIST WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A RAGING FAG FEST?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 02:01:10 AM
JESUS CHRIST WHEN DID THIS TURN INTO A RAGING FAG FEST?

You don't wanna time travel with us to jizz on dinosaurs?  :'(
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 28, 2009, 02:02:06 AM
yeah okay, that's better.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Libertine on March 28, 2009, 02:03:02 AM
There's a catch though, you can't come unless you can come.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 28, 2009, 02:06:00 AM
i can come! sometimes it just takes a while. but with the time traveling abilities i'm sure that won't be a problem.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: ttfg on March 28, 2009, 02:12:54 AM
Another detail thats missing is how long the dry hump lasted.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 02:13:56 AM
Wait.......are we fucking dinosaurs?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Libertine on March 28, 2009, 02:14:03 AM
When I travel back in time my ejaculation un-splatters and reconvenes to reverse enter my penis, flow into my balls, and evaporate.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 28, 2009, 02:24:19 AM
aaagh, you're like magics
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 02:32:30 AM
*claps*
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 28, 2009, 12:14:24 PM
What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.

I fully agree.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 28, 2009, 12:20:46 PM
Did you scratch the stain after it dried to see if it left a stiff spot or not?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 28, 2009, 03:21:51 PM
No.

This thread makes me wantr to shit out gold chains.

(http://www.therimbastore.com/SylvieWebPics/BAV34-1.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: katie on March 28, 2009, 03:38:32 PM
are those the ones you've shit out so far?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on March 28, 2009, 06:06:10 PM
This thread makes me want to cry.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on March 28, 2009, 07:45:38 PM
Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Which means I'll hear it chinese whispers style. The guy had a purple monkey dishwasher.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 29, 2009, 01:02:46 AM
i can come! sometimes it just takes a while. but with the time traveling abilities i'm sure that won't be a problem.

... and she's cute as heel (sounding) when she does!

What a great, jiggling mass of utter nonsense.

I fully agree.

Thrash now knows the entire story because I told him the whole goddamn thing from beginning to end over the phone. Congrats to Thrash.

Well, it was a barter, was it not?
hahaha ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 29, 2009, 01:03:47 AM
shhh, dave! don't talk about me like that now, i'm somebody's mom!

 ::)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 29, 2009, 01:27:43 AM
At my age, that's even hotter ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 29, 2009, 03:37:12 PM
Mr. Hump My Ass and Cum just texted me, "Hey whats up?"

WTF are you kidding me??? What a tool.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 29, 2009, 03:42:32 PM
oh, c'mon. if you didn't scare him off with all that weird talk about fucking him in the ass he might be worth a second chance.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 29, 2009, 03:44:27 PM
Nope. He creeps me right the fuck out.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 29, 2009, 03:45:05 PM
well, that's a valid reason. for you, i mean.

i think i tend to gravitate towards the creepy guys.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 29, 2009, 03:48:57 PM
He creeps me out in a "one step away from date rape" kinda way.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 29, 2009, 04:12:40 PM
It's a fun fine line to walk ...

Mr. DRY-Hump My Ass and Cum just texted me, "Hey whats up?"

WTF are you kidding me??? What a tool.
I fixed that for you ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on March 29, 2009, 06:01:37 PM
Well did you reply?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 30, 2009, 11:49:31 AM
I said "Not much." Then he replied and asked me what I did on Saturday. I didn't respond to that one.

It's very anticlimactic.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 31, 2009, 01:25:11 AM
W3rd ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on March 31, 2009, 03:23:50 AM
SKANK
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 31, 2009, 07:26:45 AM
DRUGGIE
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on March 31, 2009, 10:23:03 AM
If a guy can't handle my jokes, then he's not a guy I would want to hang out with anyways.

pun intended!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Doormouse on March 31, 2009, 02:08:09 PM
Well of course I know, if he got me naked he'd try his damndest to have sex with me but I wouldn't go for it anyways if I didn't want to.
I've never slept with a girl who I didn't nail the first night/first time I tried. Once they deny me sex I shut down that avenue of thought so I don't come off as creepy. There have been a few times I could tell one of these denier chicks wanted it later, but fuck that. I don't need to be jerked around. Now it's her turn to feel unwanted.

EDIT: OK there's a slight exception that's ahppened to me only once. The chick is allowed to change her mind the same night after denying me. That delights me.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 31, 2009, 02:36:52 PM
Like I said, I felt that I was being pressured. It was a turn off. I don't know why I felt like I could give myself a chance to get into it, I should've just kicked him out. And I definitely don't want to go out with him again.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on March 31, 2009, 02:47:27 PM
He was dry humping you and came?

Seriously. Especially with you telling him all kinds of stuff that clearly didn't turn him on. If he could still get himself off despite all that from just dry humping, the dude would probably last like 2.67 seconds if you actually screwed him.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on March 31, 2009, 02:51:36 PM
Maybe he's into humiliation.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 31, 2009, 03:58:59 PM
Ahhhh ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on March 31, 2009, 04:26:30 PM
...can't do that, yeah I like that. What are you doing???"

so, uh...  what WAS he doing?

I mean, I've NEVER been in a sexual situation where I was asked "what are you doing???"
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 31, 2009, 04:54:21 PM
...can't do that, yeah I like that. What are you doing???"

so, uh...  what WAS he doing?

I mean, I've NEVER been in a sexual situation where I was asked "what are you doing???"

SURPRISE BUTTSECKS
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: katie on March 31, 2009, 04:56:56 PM
"surprise! it's in your bum!"
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on March 31, 2009, 04:59:29 PM
"What are you doing"? really means "Why the fuck are you trying to undress me when I just said I wasn't going to have sex with you?"
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on March 31, 2009, 05:07:24 PM
this sounds less retarded and more traumatising.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on March 31, 2009, 05:09:04 PM
(http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/invisible_suprise_buttsecks.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on March 31, 2009, 05:09:37 PM
yep, looks pretty traumatic.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on March 31, 2009, 05:58:19 PM
That made me laugh ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: beeyot on April 01, 2009, 03:05:55 AM
premature ejaculation from dry humping and dirty talk? you fuckin' with high school boys or somethin'? you lemme know when you want a man friend.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 01, 2009, 04:40:32 AM
hahaha
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 01, 2009, 07:27:48 AM
you lemme know when you want a man friend.

Yes please!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 01, 2009, 01:54:23 PM
I just phoned this dude that's about a mile up the street; he saw that coming as well ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 01, 2009, 11:22:01 PM
(http://www.asofterworld.com/clean/airtraffic.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on April 02, 2009, 12:53:21 AM
Overused.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: 13chemicals on April 03, 2009, 05:42:07 AM
I have to say that I can relate to this thread.  When I was younger I went home with this guy and as we were making out he came in his pants.  I thought it was a joke, but it wasn't.. It was REAL LIFE.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 03, 2009, 06:45:32 AM
That happened to me once.

I was 11.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 03, 2009, 06:45:57 AM
I didn't know that actually happened.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 03, 2009, 06:47:27 AM
Maybe your nuts are non-functional due to excessive drug use.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 03, 2009, 06:52:33 AM
Maybe???
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 03, 2009, 06:53:40 AM
Yeah seriously, they probably are partially defective. 
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 03, 2009, 08:37:52 AM
I have to say that I can relate to this thread.  When I was younger I went home with this guy and as we were making out he came in his pants.  I thought it was a joke, but it wasn't.. It was REAL LIFE.

I'm glad this story wasn't about me.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 03, 2009, 03:42:20 PM
The girl you were with at that time doesn't post here ...
YET ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on April 03, 2009, 07:45:35 PM
Often, I wish I could finish prematurely.

Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 03, 2009, 08:19:07 PM
try dry-humping someone that's still in their clothes?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 03, 2009, 08:59:21 PM
Like tricky.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 04, 2009, 04:47:12 AM
(http://mediabullseye.com/mb/storyphotos/funny-pictures-captain-obvious-cat.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 04, 2009, 07:22:53 AM
well, you know, there are the less observant out there...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 04, 2009, 07:57:47 AM
huh? Who?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on April 04, 2009, 07:58:31 AM
DURRRRRRRR
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 04, 2009, 12:44:40 PM
This guy texted me last night asking me what I was up to. Emp & C very easily could've convinced me when I was drunk to message him back and say "Drycleaning my dress", but they either forgot to tell me to do it when we were all drunk or were nice and didn't make me do it.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 04, 2009, 12:49:56 PM
Damn, I can't wait to get you drunk.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 04, 2009, 07:12:58 PM
Why; do you want to do her dry cleaning?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 05, 2009, 12:03:50 AM
Ok, so as I said, that guy texted me last night asking what I was up to. I didn't respond. Then, this afternoon he AGAIN texted me asking what I was up to. Man, dry humping my ass must've been the best thing he's ever done in his life or something.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on April 05, 2009, 12:06:16 AM
Or you have a fantastic, unbelievably rotund, soft and supple, ass. I wonder if they have a clone-an-ass mold?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 05, 2009, 12:16:33 AM
I dont even want to read the preceding posts.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on April 05, 2009, 12:17:34 AM
I dont even want to read the preceding posts.

dude you wander the boards posting pussy pumping videos.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 05, 2009, 12:21:07 AM
Yeah, but I get all queasy about bagman posting about moulding ass... I really dont need to know about that. He's already moulded far more than I need to know about.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 05, 2009, 12:24:08 AM
Nono, it's tricky's ass; let he boy speak ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on April 05, 2009, 03:57:18 AM
I have to say that I can relate to this thread.  When I was younger I went home with this guy and as we were making out he came in his pants.  I thought it was a joke, but it wasn't.. It was REAL LIFE.

I sort of met this guy tonight... he was my bartender. Haha. For real.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 05, 2009, 06:22:02 AM
Wait what?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 05, 2009, 07:16:58 AM
Maybe baggy's comming to terms with the real baggy?

If you push that closet door a lil harder...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on April 05, 2009, 03:00:48 PM
Haha come on numbnuts.

When I met up with Sasha last night, she had me follow her into the inside area of the place we were at and pointed out the guy who blew his load prematurely while making out with her. He ended up being my my bartender.

I love it when you get to actually see/meet somebody out of one of our message board stories. Especially when they have no fucking idea who you are at all, and you know an embarassing secret about them. Hahaha I just smiled when I got my drink. Did give him a $5.50 tip on my $4.50 tab. 
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on April 05, 2009, 04:35:18 PM
Did it work? Did he come?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 05, 2009, 04:38:47 PM
For a $5+ tip I would have.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 05, 2009, 10:05:49 PM
For a $5+ tip I would have.

....just the tip?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Doormouse on April 05, 2009, 10:10:49 PM
Bahaha. Nice one, eitje!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 06, 2009, 02:39:47 AM
I love it when you get to actually see/meet somebody out of one of our message board stories. Especially when they have no fucking idea who you are at all, and you know an embarassing secret about them. Hahaha I just smiled when I got my drink. Did give him a $5.50 tip on my $4.50 tab. 

The question is; did he give pay for and tip him BEFORE he ordered the drink?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 07, 2009, 08:53:48 PM
Wow.  He just texted me AGAIN. I told him straight up that I didn't want to go out again. Ugh.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Doormouse on April 07, 2009, 08:56:52 PM
Did you tell him there was a new clone cock in your life now?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 07, 2009, 09:02:15 PM
Hahahaha now you are catching on!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 08, 2009, 02:44:33 AM
The question is; did he give pay for and tip him BEFORE he ordered the drink?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 08, 2009, 07:35:30 AM
Quoting yourself on LG is the new cool thing to do.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 08, 2009, 07:42:44 AM
It is, it really is!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 08, 2009, 08:08:06 AM
Quote from: Drugmoth
Personally, I love quoting myself.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 08, 2009, 09:32:47 AM
Hahahaha now you are catching on!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 08, 2009, 09:45:11 AM
It is, it really is!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 08, 2009, 10:50:38 AM
Next time he texts you, send him the URL to this thread.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 08, 2009, 11:18:31 AM
Next time he texts you, send him the URL to this thread.

You just got a cool point.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 08, 2009, 12:39:42 PM
Wow what an awesome idea! haha
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on April 08, 2009, 03:32:12 PM
Seriously!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 08, 2009, 06:57:43 PM
hahaha ....
I'm all in on this ...


EDIT: A fucking smiley face? HOW!?!?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 09, 2009, 09:53:37 PM
http://www.fmylife.com/love/836792 (http://www.fmylife.com/love/836792)

Quote
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 09, 2009, 10:01:52 PM
He missed.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 09, 2009, 11:30:34 PM
Quote from: tricky
http://www.fmylife.com/love/836792 (http://www.fmylife.com/love/836792)

Quote
Tonight, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to a bar and got alcoholic beverages. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, I put my hand on his ass and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

Fixed
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: beeyot on April 14, 2009, 03:12:26 PM
i wonder if he's dry humped other ladies butts and came on them? you could start a support group and meet at the bar where he works. that shit would be funny.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 14, 2009, 05:41:37 PM
Dude, I already fixed that one in the FMyLife.Com thread ...

Quote from: tricky
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we weere joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my ass and said, "Soon this will be stained with my seed." FML
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 14, 2009, 06:42:46 PM
i wonder if he's dry humped other ladies butts and came on them? you could start a support group and meet at the bar where he works. that shit would be funny.

He thought he could convince me to let him fuck my butt. I already said "I'm not going to have sex with you". What a fucktard that guy is.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on April 14, 2009, 06:44:41 PM
i wonder if he's dry humped other ladies butts and came on them? you could start a support group and meet at the bar where he works. that shit would be funny.

He thought he could convince me to let him fuck my butt. I already said "I'm not going to have sex with you". What a fucktard that guy is.

a dude has got to show me he's worth letting in my back door. no way he's sticking it in there before he sticks it in a few other choice spots.

that's weird.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 14, 2009, 06:46:15 PM
Well I said "I have my period" (even though I didn't) so maybe he thought he'd convince me to let him in door #2.

The thought of that guy doing anything sexual with me makes me want to hurl.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: beeyot on April 14, 2009, 07:24:08 PM
Quote
a dude has got to show me he's worth letting in my back door.

how much does he have to be worth? like .50 cents? a dollar?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: beeyot on April 14, 2009, 07:26:02 PM
p.s. i'll save your butt for last trickster.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: daisymae on April 14, 2009, 08:26:16 PM
Dating sounds so scary these days...

I can't believe a guy would think it was ok to just whip it out and hose you down. wtf was he thinking.




Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Doormouse on April 14, 2009, 08:28:13 PM
He was thinking even if I blow this I still win.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: daisymae on April 14, 2009, 08:37:32 PM
lol

Maybe he thought she'd like a nice parting gift?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: ttfg on April 14, 2009, 08:38:43 PM
Dating sounds so scary these days...

I can't believe a guy would think it was ok to just whip it out and hose you down. he was thinking with his dick.



fixed
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 14, 2009, 09:20:42 PM
Do I have to post another Capt. Obvious pic here?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: ttfg on April 14, 2009, 09:24:59 PM
I'll be good I promise.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 14, 2009, 09:27:36 PM
He was thinking even if I blow this I still win.

pun intended!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: underclass on April 14, 2009, 09:27:46 PM
he was thinking "this girls totally going to let me do whatever I want here"
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 14, 2009, 09:52:37 PM
Do I have to post another Capt. Obvious pic here?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 15, 2009, 05:27:22 AM
(http://www.gamersince.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/captain_obvious.jpg)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: 13chemicals on April 20, 2009, 12:45:10 AM
Hey tricky, my boyfriend just texted me repeatedly that he wants to break up so I guess that I will soon join you in the dating scene.  Book deal, here we come!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 20, 2009, 12:48:41 AM
Hawt!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 20, 2009, 12:53:01 AM
Come, my little sex kittens....
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: 13chemicals on April 20, 2009, 01:56:46 PM
As if....
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 20, 2009, 03:26:27 PM
Like, gag me with a spoon!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 20, 2009, 05:21:22 PM
... or a cock
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 20, 2009, 05:44:48 PM
Def a cock. Thick and veiny.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 20, 2009, 05:51:27 PM
How would you know?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 20, 2009, 05:54:16 PM
Just what I think it would take to choke him.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 20, 2009, 06:14:59 PM
Wow, you guys sure are fags.  Love talking about thick veiny cocks, eh?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 20, 2009, 06:54:55 PM
No. We love to talk about thick veiny cocks gagging you.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 20, 2009, 07:24:24 PM
We love to talk about thick veiny cocks gagging you.

....because that's much less gay.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: 13chemicals on April 20, 2009, 11:13:22 PM
No please keep talking about it, this pleases me.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 03:55:05 AM
ANNNNNND ....

Cue the downfall of her rehab ....
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Zoomie on April 21, 2009, 07:00:29 AM
Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Please don't stop your treatment Sasha.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 21, 2009, 08:21:50 AM
Sasha's daddy told her to go to rehab.....she said no, no, no.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 05:01:01 PM
Third time that joke's been used; success!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 21, 2009, 07:12:34 PM
Trifecta!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on April 21, 2009, 07:23:17 PM
More of a pick-3, really.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 09:54:51 PM
Odds, please?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on April 21, 2009, 10:08:03 PM
Not long odds, not for a fairly can't-miss cultural reference joke like that. Let's say each joke would have won it's resepective race as a fairly heavy favourite over the other, more hit-or-miss jokes. So let's take an example from today's results. Today's last 3 races at Fairmount Park were won with each of the winning horses not paying that much on a win ticket:

#2 Flying Cayman won the 6th and paid 3.40 to win
#1 Runaround Jonnie won the 7th and paid 6.40 to win
#2 Wildwood Pegasus won the 8th and paid 3.80 to win

(All based on a $2 ticket, of course.)

The winning 2-1-2 $1 Pick 3 paid $8.90.

Of course, that number varies not just by the odds of each winning horse, but by how much was bet on the Pick 3. Not being privy to their formulas, but knowing that the pool was $1057, which seems pretty standard for them (Fairmount Park isn't a very big or popular track, so the pools tend to be smaller), I reckon that the payoff of $8.90 is about right for the payoffs of the 3 winning horses. Or in other words the odds are fairly standard and not too skewed by an inflated pool on the Pick 3.

Crystal?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 11:03:27 PM
The Windows Server 2003 family supports single or multiple CPUs that conform to the symmetric multiprocessing (SMP) standard. Using SMP, the operating system can run threads on any available processor, which makes it possible for applications to use multiple processors when additional processing power is required to increase the capability of a system. New features include SMP locking performance, improved registry performance, and increased Terminal Server sessions. Designed for mission-critical applications, Windows Server 2003, Datacenter Edition supports new systems with up to 64-way SMP. The support for over 32 processors is only available with the 64-bit edition of Windows Server 2003, Datacenter Edition.
Microsoft also offers a 128-way SKU for Windows Server 2003, Datacenter Edition so Windows can run on a 128-processor computer. However, the largest partition supported would be 64 processors.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: underclass on April 22, 2009, 01:00:20 AM
I understood both posts :(
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on April 22, 2009, 01:01:19 AM
I understood both posts :(

I understood this one.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on April 22, 2009, 01:31:05 AM
I understood both posts :(

I understood this one.

I understood yours  :-*
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 22, 2009, 03:05:29 AM
I understood both posts :(

I understood this one.

I understood yours  :-*

e) all the above
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 22, 2009, 05:09:24 AM
I understood both posts :(

I understood this one.

I understood yours  :-*

e) all the above

WTF are you tools jabbering about?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 22, 2009, 12:16:02 PM
About all the above, man ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on April 22, 2009, 04:07:44 PM
WTF are you tools jabbering about?

Horse bet payoffs, server software specifications, and the usual banter.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 22, 2009, 04:51:00 PM
I'm surprised it took us this long to dislogde the thread, personally ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: mosh on April 23, 2009, 04:41:56 AM
Just not trying hard enough these days...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 24, 2009, 03:51:25 PM
We're older and more laid back now ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 24, 2009, 04:54:30 PM
Back to the topic at hand: four days ago he starts chatting with me on AIM. After a bunch of one word answers on my part he quit talking to me.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 24, 2009, 05:34:34 PM
He's STILL trying?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: ttfg on April 24, 2009, 05:39:52 PM
Tricky is the plan B.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 24, 2009, 05:59:31 PM
Apparently he's bankrupt on a Plan C ....
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: ttfg on April 24, 2009, 06:06:09 PM
Given he hasent taken the hint; no suprise.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on April 24, 2009, 06:09:16 PM
The plan B? What does that mean?

Hahaha you guys think I'm some loser, but at least my mom thinks I'm cool.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: ttfg on April 24, 2009, 06:13:57 PM
Get you mum to write you a personals add then.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 24, 2009, 06:16:15 PM
Uhm, I'm not thinking her mom knows as much as we (well I) do ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: daisymae on April 24, 2009, 06:42:26 PM
Uhm, I'm not thinking her mom knows as much as we (well I) do ...

Are you referring to the cum stain?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 24, 2009, 06:44:04 PM
I'm referring to a lot of things ....
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on April 25, 2009, 12:30:37 PM
Uhm, I'm not thinking her mom knows as much as we (well I) do ...
Are you referring to the cum stain?
About all the above, man ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on April 26, 2009, 01:48:30 PM
That too ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 18, 2009, 12:17:55 PM
What a fucking fag. This is from JUST NOW:

Jizz on your dress guy:  hey whats up?
me:  not much, working
Jizz on your dress guy:  how is life treating you?
me:  good

Why is he chatting to me??? Must be really bored.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 18, 2009, 12:19:32 PM
I think I should trick him somehow. Invite him over to my house, have another guy there already and tell him I'll fuck him if he sucks the other guys cock. But then not fuck him. He seems desperate enough that this may work!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on May 18, 2009, 12:22:30 PM
Or, if he actually sucks a cock it's because he's GAY and instead of humiliating him you just made his day!

Play her off, keyboard cat...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Lothar on May 18, 2009, 02:53:02 PM
I think to truly get revenge, you'd need the other guy to hide in the closet and twack it, then when this guy is on you again, have the other guy run in and jizz on the seat of his pants.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on May 18, 2009, 02:55:19 PM
I think to truly get revenge, you'd need the other guy to hide in the closet and twack it, then when this guy is on you again, have the other guy run in and jizz on the seat of his pants.

Now that's a plan!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: FAH-Q on May 18, 2009, 04:43:26 PM
For serious.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 18, 2009, 10:36:41 PM
I like the way you think, Lothar.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on May 18, 2009, 11:54:27 PM
I think to truly get revenge, you'd need the other guy to hide in the closet and twack it, then when this guy is on you again, have the other guy run in and jizz on the seat of his pants.

I am NOT helping you with this.
Just to be clear.  NOT.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 19, 2009, 12:00:58 AM
God damn it.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: underclass on May 19, 2009, 12:05:46 AM
I however, am all in
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on May 19, 2009, 12:09:17 AM
God damn it.
Put some thought into this from your perspective...

You want me to fix your closet door, just so that I can hide in it and watch you get hot & heavy with some dude?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 19, 2009, 12:16:44 AM
Yeah, but then you jizz on his pants, it's all good.

NIck, thanks, you're a true friend.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: 13chemicals on May 19, 2009, 02:57:20 AM
Luke doesn't move like a cheetah.  I don't think he could jizz on the guys pants before the guy notices a big and tall guy sprinting towards him in chuck taylors with his pants to his knees.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 19, 2009, 07:45:12 AM
lolz
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on May 19, 2009, 08:59:18 AM
I'd take my pants off!  duh.

IF I were going to do something like this.
Which I'm not.
I haven't even put much thought into how it could be performed successfully.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: (_)_)===D on May 19, 2009, 09:21:10 AM
You should do a dry run at your house before you do it at Tricky's place.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on May 19, 2009, 10:44:26 AM
pix plz
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 19, 2009, 11:14:16 AM
Make it your whack off regimen for a few weeks so you'll be all ready to go when the time is right. It'll be like 2nd nature...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: taiko on May 20, 2009, 12:28:21 AM
Make it your whack off regimen for a few weeks so you'll be all ready to go when the time is right. It'll be like 2nd nature...
I'm not sure what this means.  Hide in a closet while I masturbate?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 20, 2009, 03:04:29 AM
Duh, yes silly!  ::)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Lothar on May 20, 2009, 03:09:22 AM
Luke doesn't move like a cheetah.  I don't think he could jizz on the guys pants before the guy notices a big and tall guy sprinting towards him in chuck taylors with his pants to his knees.

But that's part of the fun. The guy will be all "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE HELL IS THAT COMING AT ME?!?! WHAT'S HE DOING?!?! OH MY GOD!!!"
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 20, 2009, 09:25:52 AM
I would totally make this happen just for everyones amusement.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 20, 2009, 02:46:56 PM
Tricky.. did I ever tell you I loved you??


I'm still loling here
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: psychopathetic on May 20, 2009, 10:13:48 PM
Luke doesn't move like a cheetah.  I don't think he could jizz on the guys pants before the guy notices a big and tall guy sprinting towards him in chuck taylors with his pants to his knees.

i actually laughed so hard i cried.

all i can picture is luke with one hand on his dick and the other pressing his glasses to his face, waddling as fast as he can towards a very surprised man.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on May 20, 2009, 10:15:14 PM
And THAT made me LOL.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 20, 2009, 10:20:02 PM
Me too LOLZ
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 20, 2009, 11:47:20 PM
ROFLMAO
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: bagman on May 21, 2009, 01:11:35 AM
Wow this saga is still going on? Tricky, why haven't you manned up and told the creep to go cum on somebody else's dress yet?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on May 21, 2009, 01:19:17 AM
I told him I didn't want to go out with him again. Can't get much more direct than that.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on May 21, 2009, 01:22:59 AM
You could smack him in the mouth with a tire iron, that's pretty direct.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on May 25, 2009, 05:12:23 PM
Would it get the point across to YOU, man?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on May 25, 2009, 07:43:31 PM
Nah.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on May 26, 2009, 04:07:27 PM
Hahahaha ....
That's what I thought ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 27, 2009, 12:52:02 AM
That's foreplay for Dylan.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on May 27, 2009, 12:58:36 AM
It's true.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Joygasm on May 27, 2009, 12:59:15 AM
Very.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on May 27, 2009, 02:49:29 PM
Hahahahaha ....

Page 2 of this thread is one of the best reads on this board ...
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Drugmoth on May 27, 2009, 11:03:53 PM
I know it, at one point I wanted to put the entire page in the quotebox.  By now people will have forgotten about it, perfect time to put this link in the box: http://loaded-gun.com/index.php?topic=225.30 (http://loaded-gun.com/index.php?topic=225.30)
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: tricky on September 01, 2009, 12:18:20 AM
A funny thread. Right here, people. Read it and relive the humor.

Oh yeah and that guy contacted me at least 5 seperate times asking what I was up to. Idiot.
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: fyrenza on September 01, 2009, 12:34:24 AM
What a fucking fag. This is from JUST NOW:

Jizz on your dress guy:  hey whats up?
me:  not much, working
Jizz on your dress guy:  how is life treating you?
me:  good

Why is he chatting to me??? Must be really bored.

OMG!!!  ROFLMAO,TNTPMP!!!

Jizz on your dress guy:  how is life treating you?
me:  good GR8!  Except these hose and this dress keep, like, STICKING TO EVERYTHING...

Jizz on your dress guy:  i thought you LIKED having sex?!?
me:  and i thought you were into a little more than just my fucking DRESS and hose-clad ASS, you FUKTARD!
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on December 30, 2020, 10:32:58 PM
I read this, and I thought about this thread ....
Quote
Today, my daughter admitted she struggles to keep a boyfriend because as soon as she shares with them her kink of fucking guys with strap-ons and occasionally inserting other items into them, they flee. As a father, this was way more info about my daughter's sex life than I can handle. FML
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Tru on December 31, 2020, 12:38:23 AM
Um, as a side, fyrenza as I remember was cool.
 
Back to the point;
Hahaha Did he really run away? Seriously I have no interest in being pounded by another guy, but letting a woman live out a personal ass fantasy is negotiable.

Quote from: Tricky
Ever had your ass dry humped? Ever had your date cum on your tights and get it on your dress and then leave and say "We'll talk, I'm not sure when I'll see you again."

HAHAHAHA thats the social grace of bagman. I mean fine it's not like I'm in love with the guy but if he didn't want to hang out again he could've just said something like "Have a good night, and I'll talk to you later." Not "I don't lnow when I'll see you again." Slightly a step above "Go fuck yourself, bitch."

OMG was she talking about Kyle?
Title: Re: I just went on the most retarded date ever
Post by: Thrash on December 31, 2020, 03:54:44 PM
Indirectly, I think ....
I think ...