Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!

General Category => Sex/Gossip => Topic started by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 08:25:58 PM

Title: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 08:25:58 PM: Tell me some good ones.

One time one of my coworkers and I were waiting for the elevator. He had pushed the button once. The elevator was taking it's sweet ass time. He started hitting the button over and over really hard. I said, not even thinking about it, "If you beat it harder it will come up faster." It was funny...

A couple stupid pickup lines I've used:
Do you like Ensure?
How do you feel about the U.N.?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Wozzeck on April 02, 2009, 08:30:58 PM: You steal that ensure one off of Carolyn, or are you looking for old-balls money?

I never use pick up lines for my own benefit.

For friends, however... see below.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Emperor Reagan on April 02, 2009, 08:43:42 PM: I'm pretty sure she tried to pick up C with those lines. You should try: The name's Hume. Brit Hume.

Engineering is constant stream of innuendos, since people talk about shafts, laying pipe, etc. all day.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 02, 2009, 08:46:06 PM: Engineering? Try plumbing. All the couplings and male and female adapters... and then there's "snaking out the drain".
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 08:46:55 PM: Those two pickup lines were used on guys when Carolyn and I were hanging out. They were based off of conversations we had earlier in the night. :)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Emperor Reagan on April 02, 2009, 08:49:31 PM: My latest favorite related to "green construction" is I'll develop your brown field
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 02, 2009, 09:09:20 PM: Quote from: Emperor Reagan on April 02, 2009, 08:43:42 PM
Engineering is constant stream of innuendos, since people talk about shafts, laying pipe, etc. all day.

(http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/3870/dsc04077medium.th.jpg) (http://img24.imageshack.us/my.php?image=dsc04077medium.jpg)

Emp talking about engineering around a campfire (guy next to him = another engineer).
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 02, 2009, 09:12:21 PM: Quote from: tricky on April 02, 2009, 08:46:55 PM
They were based off of conversations we had earlier in the night. :)

Ever been fucked in the ass by a girl?
Ever swallowed your own semen?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 09:32:17 PM: Those weren't pick up lines, more like "I'm trying to scare you" lines.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 02, 2009, 09:33:17 PM: Why can't it be the same thing?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 09:36:21 PM: Why can't you STOP BEING A FAG?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 02, 2009, 09:47:19 PM: Quote from: tricky on April 02, 2009, 09:36:21 PM
Why can't you STOP BEING A FAG?

That's the best pick up line so far!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 02, 2009, 10:08:16 PM: I'd totally go home with you if you used that one
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 02, 2009, 10:31:14 PM: Yeah I'd feel like you'd issued me a challenge. Sort of like "Prove your heterosexuality if you can!"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 10:39:47 PM: Ok, but why don't you contributre to this thread with your own pick up line or innuendo???

Such as, I'd like to install your plugin. I'd like to embed your youtube.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 02, 2009, 10:46:00 PM: Hey lady, can I remodel your back porch?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 02, 2009, 10:52:48 PM: The call button in elevators post '90s isn't connected to anything, the close door button isn't connected either.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 10:53:45 PM: Quote from: homeless-joe on April 02, 2009, 10:52:48 PM
The call button in elevators post '90s isn't connected to anything, the close door button isn't connected either.

OMG I just jizzed in my pants.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 02, 2009, 10:54:27 PM: Quote from: Zoomie on April 02, 2009, 10:46:00 PM
Hey lady, can I remodel your back porch?
that's awesome!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 02, 2009, 10:56:09 PM: "You're hot, lets go"

&

"I wouldn't mind seeing you again at my place an hour from now"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 02, 2009, 10:57:12 PM: Quote from: tricky on April 02, 2009, 10:53:45 PM
Quote from: homeless-joe on April 02, 2009, 10:52:48 PM
The call button in elevators post '90s isn't connected to anything, the close door button isn't connected either.

OMG I just jizzed in my pants.

It's works on female otis staff.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: psychopathetic on April 02, 2009, 10:57:37 PM: that dress is very becoming on you. of course, if i were on you, i'd be coming too.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 02, 2009, 10:57:49 PM: Quote from: underclass on April 02, 2009, 10:56:09 PM
"I wouldn't mind seeing you again at my place an hour from now"

hahahaha that's a good one
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 02, 2009, 11:04:44 PM: Pick up lines are lame. I do enjoy innuendo though. I'm a cunning linguist when I'm inspired.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 02, 2009, 11:20:40 PM: How much?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 02, 2009, 11:28:29 PM: Quote from: eitje
How much?

Learn that in Japanese
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Lothar on April 03, 2009, 04:47:34 AM: I saw a guy walk up next to a girl at some gallery hop, lean over, and ask "Did you fart?"

It was epic.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 03, 2009, 08:51:52 AM: Quote from: underclass on April 02, 2009, 11:28:29 PM
Quote from: eitje
How much?

Learn that in Japanese

I guess I'll need to learn numbers, too?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Lucky on April 03, 2009, 10:39:28 AM: Counting in japanese is very odd. The word you use for the number changes depending on the nature of the thing you are counting.

So you can walk into a stationary store and say "7" in one way and get seven pens (cyclindrical things) or say "7" in another way and get seven sheets of paper (broad, flat things).

I'm not sure how this translates into picking up hookers. But I'd be careful in the brothel. You may end up with a three-way with two dudes if you say "2 cylindrical things"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 03, 2009, 10:58:23 AM: At a party once my buddy Mike's first words to some chick he didn't know were, "So you're pregnant huh?" She wasn't, and didn't look it. I think he overheard some conversation and thought she was the subject of it.

Anyway, she had sex with him that night.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 03, 2009, 12:25:38 PM: Quote from: Lucky on April 03, 2009, 10:39:28 AM
Counting in japanese is very odd. The word you use for the number changes depending on the nature of the thing you are counting.

So you can walk into a stationary store and say "7" in one way and get seven pens (cyclindrical things) or say "7" in another way and get seven sheets of paper (broad, flat things).

I'm not sure how this translates into picking up hookers. But I'd be careful in the brothel. You may end up with a three-way with two dudes if you say "2 cylindrical things"

Koreans use count markers that way. And they have both Korean and Chinese (Sino) numbers which they use specifically but not interchangeably. The counters are different for each language. And the marker for flat things could apply to a sheet of paper or a pane of glass. But only large flat things. Small flat things like movie tickets use a totally different word, which again, is available in Korean or Sino.

It's a fuck lot to remember.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Lucky on April 03, 2009, 01:18:58 PM: yeah it is. I was doing really well in Japanese until the numbers lessons. That and all the relationals (in, at, on, of) is what killed it for me. I never made it to Japanese 3.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 03, 2009, 04:57:40 PM: Stop getting off topic in my thread.

I'd like to off-topic your thread. hubba hubba.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 03, 2009, 06:58:57 PM: Quote from: Lucky on April 03, 2009, 10:39:28 AM
Counting in japanese is very odd. The word you use for the number changes depending on the nature of the thing you are counting.

So you can walk into a stationary store and say "7" in one way and get seven pens (cyclindrical things) or say "7" in another way and get seven sheets of paper (broad, flat things).

I'm not sure how this translates into picking up hookers. But I'd be careful in the brothel. You may end up with a three-way with two dudes if you say "2 cylindrical things"

I'd imagine that with the first example you'd get a busty hooker, and in the second you'd get a flat-chested one?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: bagman on April 03, 2009, 07:46:32 PM: "Hey. I'm rich."
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 03, 2009, 08:58:34 PM: Quote from: Thrash on April 03, 2009, 06:58:57 PM
Quote from: Lucky on April 03, 2009, 10:39:28 AM
Counting in japanese is very odd. The word you use for the number changes depending on the nature of the thing you are counting.

So you can walk into a stationary store and say "7" in one way and get seven pens (cyclindrical things) or say "7" in another way and get seven sheets of paper (broad, flat things).

I'm not sure how this translates into picking up hookers. But I'd be careful in the brothel. You may end up with a three-way with two dudes if you say "2 cylindrical things"

I'd imagine that with the first example you'd get a busty hooker, and in the second you'd get a flat-chested one?

Variety, my friend, variety.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 04, 2009, 04:46:04 AM: No, just from the context ofthe question, man ...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 04, 2009, 07:21:59 AM: fuck the question...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Lucky on April 04, 2009, 08:50:44 AM: Doesn't underclass work in finance (visits brothels) and speak fluent Japanese? I'm sure he could coach Bagman in exactly which "two, please" to say to the madam so he gets what he wants.

Whether or not he'd intentionally tell him the wrong thing to say is anyone's guess.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 04, 2009, 08:54:05 AM: Kyle still hasn't messaged me with his trip details....

chickity chicken chook
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 04, 2009, 12:33:57 PM: "Is that a mirror in your pocket? Cuz I can see myself in your pants."
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 04, 2009, 12:36:30 PM: Quote from: underclass on April 04, 2009, 08:54:05 AM
Kyle still hasn't messaged me with his trip details....

chickity chicken chook
Arrested developments?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 04, 2009, 02:30:35 PM: "I found a recipe for pumpkin flan that will just melt in your mouth."
"I'll melt in your mouth. ... Oh, I'm just so bad at introductions! My name's Steve."
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 04, 2009, 09:03:24 PM: "youre ugly, wanna fuck?"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 05, 2009, 07:17:22 AM: "I WANT TO PUT MY PENIS IN YOU"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 05, 2009, 11:57:04 AM: That restraining order was cute.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 05, 2009, 12:45:08 PM: "Ever seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre?"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 05, 2009, 01:06:06 PM: "Hey, do you like candy? I have some in my van."
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 05, 2009, 01:11:40 PM: I hear that one works on C. She likes candy a lot.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 05, 2009, 01:15:49 PM: *scribbles furtively in notebook*
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 05, 2009, 01:16:10 PM: Quote from: eitje on April 05, 2009, 01:06:06 PM
"Hey, do you like candy? I have some in my van."

Puppies, too.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 05, 2009, 01:19:02 PM: Quote from: FAH-Q on April 05, 2009, 01:16:10 PM
Quote from: eitje on April 05, 2009, 01:06:06 PM
"Hey, do you like candy? I have some in my van."

Puppies, too.

Weed and beer, for you. :P
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 05, 2009, 01:21:22 PM: Candy, puppies, and funny stories.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Wozzeck on April 05, 2009, 02:28:03 PM: A friend and I have discussed putting together an all-teenage-goodtime-girl noise band to be known as "Van Candy".

We can't start auditions until we actually have a van, unfortunately.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 05, 2009, 02:31:28 PM: The girls youre looking for have cams. No need to wait.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 06, 2009, 04:54:55 AM: Quote from: Wozzeck on April 05, 2009, 02:28:03 PM
A friend and I have discussed putting together an all-teenage-goodtime-girl noise band to be known as "Van Candy".

We can't start auditions until we actually have a van, unfortunately.

With people abandoning large vehicles in droves, I'd have though van's are easy to find and inexpensive...

But for a real van, you want one of these:
(http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/crop/200603/2000-holden-sandman-conce-10_460x0w.jpg)
With its supersexy interior...
(http://img98.imageshack.us/img98/3558/holdensandmanconcept200.jpg)
(http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/3558/holdensandmanconcept200.jpg)
(http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/3558/holdensandmanconcept200.jpg)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 06, 2009, 07:05:23 AM: Something to look untill the links are fixed.

(http://g.imagehost.org/0527/pimpcar.jpg)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 06, 2009, 09:24:02 AM: That's the most flagrant display of bad taste ever.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 06, 2009, 09:46:29 AM: McCar or the Sandman?

Australians arent known for their refined tastes...
(http://www.powerstudios.com.au/images/airbrushed_vehicles/hot_cars/medium/breed1_2.jpg)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: psychopathetic on April 06, 2009, 09:47:27 AM: Quote from: Mosh on April 06, 2009, 09:46:29 AM
McCar or the Sandman?

Australians arent known for their refined tastes...

right

is this going to turn into a paul hogan thread too?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 06, 2009, 09:48:56 AM: I meant the McCar.

The Sandman car is awesome! All it needs is an atomatic ruphie dispenser and it would be perfect.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 06, 2009, 09:59:42 AM: Quote from: psychopathetic on April 06, 2009, 09:47:27 AM
is this going to turn into a paul hogan thread too?

I hope not.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 06, 2009, 12:51:09 PM: That's not a van...

THIS is a van...(http://kevinshredder.com/images/picture_of_monster_van.jpg)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 06, 2009, 01:39:14 PM: Quote from: krapsna on April 06, 2009, 09:24:02 AM
That's the most flagrant display of bad taste ever.

I have a question, and i get the feeling the answer will be "both".
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 06, 2009, 02:16:30 PM: Quote from: Zoomie on April 06, 2009, 12:51:09 PM
That's not a van...

THIS is a van...(http://kevinshredder.com/images/picture_of_monster_van.jpg)

That's not a van...

This is a van...

(http://www.databrothers.net/pages/traderconnection/hotlink/gmc_4x_van_and_sauna/01020114-00.jpg)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 06, 2009, 05:18:54 PM: PS?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 06, 2009, 05:48:02 PM: Quote from: Zoomie on April 06, 2009, 12:51:09 PM
That's not a van...

THIS is a van...

Don't laugh, it's bigger than your clit.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 06, 2009, 05:52:58 PM: W
T
F
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 06, 2009, 05:55:26 PM: holy shit, that's a van
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 06, 2009, 07:28:17 PM: Yes. That is a van.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: 13chemicals on April 06, 2009, 09:49:18 PM: That van would be the kind of tour van that had gatorade bottles full of piss in it.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 06, 2009, 11:19:49 PM: So what you're saying is that it would be a tour van?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 06, 2009, 11:40:18 PM: Oh, you're a student? How would you like to get a PHD in your spare time?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 07, 2009, 04:06:18 AM: Quote from: Zoomie on April 06, 2009, 12:51:09 PM
That's not a van...

THIS is a van...(http://kevinshredder.com/images/picture_of_monster_van.jpg)

Didnt Ted Bundy once own this?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 07, 2009, 04:30:13 AM: No, Dahmer ...
He got it at an auction from the Gacy estate ....
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 07, 2009, 04:53:43 AM: Dahmer used his apartment... and Gacy used his crawlspace. And they were fags.

Bundy was a real man.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 07, 2009, 04:54:54 AM: I'm a Ramirez fan myself.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 07, 2009, 08:22:44 PM: Of course you are. He fucked old broads too.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 07, 2009, 08:51:06 PM: Like 90 year olds.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 07, 2009, 08:55:26 PM: We know you do, dude.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 07, 2009, 09:05:11 PM: Hey, they can take their teeth out.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 08, 2009, 02:43:11 AM: GumJob ...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 08, 2009, 09:44:18 PM: Do you gag easily?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 08, 2009, 09:52:03 PM: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 08, 2009, 10:03:24 PM: Do you have a strong tongue?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 08, 2009, 11:08:07 PM: Obviously a Ramirez van. See the wheelchair lift?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 09, 2009, 09:22:28 AM: Back to the pick up lines...

"STFU bitch! If anybody hears you you're fucking dead! FUCKING DEAD!!!"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 09, 2009, 09:26:36 AM: "Ever been fucked in the ass by a girl? Ever swallowed your own semen?"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 09, 2009, 09:26:51 AM: "You remind me of fast food"
(Why?)
"Because I wanna take you out........and then I wanna eat you in my car"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 09, 2009, 09:36:28 AM: I just lost my job, and all I have left is this $20 bill. What can I get for that?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 09, 2009, 09:37:11 AM: Quote from: tricky on April 09, 2009, 09:26:36 AM
"Ever been fucked in the ass by a girl? Ever swallowed your own semen?"

That's the one that gets your clothing soiled.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 09, 2009, 09:39:29 AM: "Well now, the problem is that if you can't come up with a reason for me not to, I'm going to have to take you down to the station and we're going to have to process you, there'll be holding cells and all that, and unfortunately it all takes a looooong time. So... Got any ideas?"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 09, 2009, 09:42:26 AM: Quote from: krapsna on April 09, 2009, 09:39:29 AM
"Well now, the problem is that if you can't come up with a reason for me not to, I'm going to have to take you down to the station and we're going to have to process you, there'll be holding cells and all that, and unfortunately it all takes a looooong time. So... Got any ideas?"

THAT is a good one.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 09, 2009, 09:43:15 AM: This crazy guy at the laundromat once told me he was the son of jesus. He told me that I had AIDS and that he could cure me, but that it would be painful.
That's gotta have been an attempt at a pick up line, yeah?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 09, 2009, 09:52:27 AM: Only one way to find out.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 09, 2009, 10:12:12 AM: Quote from: krapsna on April 09, 2009, 09:39:29 AM
"Well now, the problem is that if you can't come up with a reason for me not to, I'm going to have to take you down to the station and we're going to have to process you, there'll be holding cells and all that, and unfortunately it all takes a looooong time. So... Got any ideas?"

Artie Lange's dirty cop pal:

Well, see, I can take care of you but, uh, *glances down* you gotta take care of the kid...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: katie on April 10, 2009, 09:09:52 AM: this guy came over to me wednesday night at the local watering hole, said hi and introduced himself, asked my name (which is sarah whenever a stranger asks). so then he said something like "i'm not going to play games, i want to know if you have a boyfriend who's big enough to kick my ass if i start hitting on you."
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 10, 2009, 09:17:23 AM: That's pretty funny
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: psychopathetic on April 10, 2009, 11:33:38 AM: Quote from: katie on April 10, 2009, 09:09:52 AM
this guy came over to me wednesday night at the local watering hole, said hi and introduced himself, asked my name (which is sarah whenever a stranger asks). so then he said something like "i'm not going to play games, i want to know if you have a boyfriend who's big enough to kick my ass if i start hitting on you."

Sweet. Maybe you could start giving out my number, too, and see how many are willing to go long distance for some touch.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 10, 2009, 03:51:19 PM: *Looks at Drugmoth*
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 10, 2009, 06:19:55 PM: Quote from: psychopathetic on April 10, 2009, 11:33:38 AM
Sweet. Maybe you could start giving out my number, too, and see how many are willing to go long distance for some touch.

Don't go all Hilary Clinton now, she didn't say you were Sarah Mascara from Yabo St in Jugville, MI.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 10, 2009, 06:23:21 PM: Nice yabos, can I motorboat them?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 10, 2009, 06:59:42 PM: This site has EVERYTHING, upon further inspection ...
Quote
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 10, 2009, 11:15:29 PM: Thrash looks in the correct direction.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 11, 2009, 11:36:17 AM: Quote from: katie on April 10, 2009, 09:09:52 AM
this guy came over to me wednesday night at the local watering hole, said hi and introduced himself, asked my name (which is sarah whenever a stranger asks). so then he said something like "i'm not going to play games, i want to know if you have a boyfriend who's big enough to kick my ass if i start hitting on you."

Yeah I've always wanted to go this route. Your noncommittal reporting of this incident leaves me with nothing, katie. Does this approach work?

On a related note, I asked a girl once if her boyfriend would be pissed if I brought her to a show that was coming up. I didn't actually know if she had a boyfriend, but I thought it would be a good out for her in case she wasn't into me. She said she actually didn't have a boyfriend and that she'd love to go, but then after a bit of making out at the show she tells me she just broke up with an ex and she doesn't want to get involved in anything else right now. So was my question about her boyfriend too casual and she didn't realize I was trying to pick her up or am I just a bad make out artist? I've always kind of been mystified by that incident.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 11, 2009, 12:15:22 PM: Sounds like she just wanted to hang out and go to a show, but she didn't want to get married.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 11, 2009, 12:52:11 PM: I wasn't bringing her to the show to select wedding music. I wanted a bit of friendly sex is all.
Anyway that doesn't really answer the question. Is it lame to ask about boyfriends? I mean it's a little contrived, but I think it's a pretty good way of asking "Are you available?" and saying "I'm interested" at the same time. Am I expecting too much to be read into what I'm asking?

EDIT: I haven't used this approach since that plan backfired, but I'm always tempted to.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 11, 2009, 12:56:20 PM: Friendly sex. Heh. Angry sex is better.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 11, 2009, 12:56:42 PM: Given all women have the same personality I think the answer is obvious.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 11, 2009, 01:49:52 PM: Next time just ask if you can put your penis in her vagina. Whether she has a boyfriend or not... who cares? :P
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 11, 2009, 02:01:00 PM: I agree.

"Nice ass, wanna fuck?" is about as honest and to the point as you can get. Even if she doesn't really have a nice ass.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 12, 2009, 03:14:41 AM: Then it really isn't that honest now, is it?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 12, 2009, 09:03:36 PM: Man, you gotta go into pickin up a chick in stealth mode, and askin if she has a boyfriend isn't stealth mode.

Besides, who cares if she does anyway? Chicks pretty much go from guy to guy without much time between. Even if she does have a boyfriend it doesn't mean she's not looking for something better, so don't even ask.

As for katie's pick up line, it's funny and all but in most cases it's only going to get you someone to talk to for a few minutes. Most women want to feel like shit just happened spontaneously and they got swept off their feet by some really cool guy. By the time they're fucking they want to feel like they somehow lost themselves and wound up getting fucked by accident. That way they can rationalize it as not their fault. So, announcing off the bat that you're going to be hitting on her puts her on the spot right away. They really don't want to feel like they're some slut that can get picked up in a bar. (Yeah, yeah there are exceptions, but if they weren't exceptions we wouldn't have to work so hard at getting laid, would we?)

Anyway, that's why pickup lines are shitty. They put too much pressure on the girl, and if she ends up fucking you she'll feel like a slut about it and she's not gonna let that happen. You've preemptively shot yourself down.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 12, 2009, 10:05:34 PM: Quote from: krapsna on April 12, 2009, 09:03:36 PM
Besides, who cares if she does anyway?

...unless you're interested in the boyfriend...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 12, 2009, 10:52:23 PM: Well I don't want to shut off any options.

But yeah that makes a lot of sense krsna. I'll have to fight my impulses then.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 13, 2009, 12:36:18 AM: Quote
Anyway, that's why pickup lines are shitty. They put too much pressure on the girl, and if she ends up fucking you she'll feel like a slut about it and she's not gonna let that happen. You've preemptively shot yourself down.

If you're bad at it.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 13, 2009, 01:44:50 AM: "Hey, have you ever had your penis head bitten off during a blowjob? Wanna?"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Wozzeck on April 13, 2009, 01:46:00 AM: A curt nod of the head and a politely reserved "Good evening" has worked wonders for me many a time.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Doormouse on April 13, 2009, 01:50:23 AM: good day (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDW0ZnZxjn4#noexternalembed-lq-lq2-hq)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 13, 2009, 01:52:21 AM: Ignoring a woman completely after being really polite and friendly for the first 40 seconds is another winner
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 13, 2009, 02:29:46 AM: I've found that no pick up line, as Balor said (kinda) works better ...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 13, 2009, 03:12:38 AM: Quote from: Zoomie on April 11, 2009, 12:56:20 PM
Friendly sex. Heh. Angry sex is better.

Homocidal sex is best.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 13, 2009, 03:19:28 AM: Hate-fucking rules!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Libertine on April 13, 2009, 03:27:13 AM: There's something fairly enjoyable about punching and fucking.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: underclass on April 13, 2009, 03:27:42 AM: I've been on the receiving end of that
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Libertine on April 13, 2009, 03:30:43 AM: Quote from: Libertine on April 13, 2009, 03:27:13 AM
There's something fairly enjoyable about punching and fucking.

Quote from: underclass on April 13, 2009, 03:27:42 AM
I've been on the receiving end of that

(http://www.mrskin.com/data/features/208/zima-cali-1.jpg)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 13, 2009, 09:15:06 AM: Quote from: Libertine on April 13, 2009, 03:27:13 AM
There's something fairly enjoyable about punching and fucking.

http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2009/04/thatll-come-right-out-with-a-l.php (http://celebslam.celebuzz.com/2009/04/thatll-come-right-out-with-a-l.php)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 13, 2009, 10:56:04 AM: Note to Vince: Next time get a hooker with a chin. You can knock them out with one blow.

And Madeline Zima grew up cute but she has some seriously ugly feet.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 13, 2009, 10:59:33 AM: Whew, that was one ugly hooker.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 13, 2009, 11:32:08 AM: I want to try punching and fucking. Not me getting punched though, the other person of course.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 13, 2009, 11:45:01 AM: I'll let you know when I'm that desperate.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Wozzeck on April 13, 2009, 01:15:57 PM: You don't know what your missing, Zoomie.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 14, 2009, 02:13:00 AM: Quote from: Libertine on April 13, 2009, 03:27:13 AM
There's something fairly enjoyable about punching and fucking.

Donkeypunching is my favorite extracurricular activity.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 14, 2009, 02:14:58 AM: ... and the Dirty Sanchez, however, only when done TO him!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 20, 2009, 06:56:45 PM: Quote from: ms. sarah mascara on April 20, 2009, 02:42:26 PM
Quote from: krapsna on April 20, 2009, 02:40:52 PM
Yeah, but what if it's something cool and thought provoking like goldfish in a blender that could be turned on? I mean, that's already been done, but surely there's something else artistic that could be done in less than 10 hours.
No. All great art takes exactly ten hours. Didn't you read that chapter in your art book?

Hey, babe. Did you know that I'm an artist?
Wanna help me make some great art?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: psychopathetic on April 20, 2009, 06:59:53 PM: It only takes ten hours?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 20, 2009, 07:42:45 PM: More like 10 minutes.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 20, 2009, 07:59:51 PM: "Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?"

"I was talking about my rug."

"You're not interested in sex?"

"You mean coitus?"
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: psychopathetic on April 20, 2009, 11:27:28 PM: Quote from: FAH-Q on April 20, 2009, 07:59:51 PM
"Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?"

"I was talking about my rug."

"You're not interested in sex?"

"You mean coitus?"

i just watched this movie for the first time last night!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 03:56:27 AM: Que?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 21, 2009, 05:45:43 AM: Quote from: tricky on April 13, 2009, 11:32:08 AM
I want to try punching and fucking. Not me getting punched though, the other person of course.

What about being Donkey Punched?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 21, 2009, 08:28:18 AM: Quote from: Libertine on April 13, 2009, 03:30:43 AM
(http://www.mrskin.com/data/features/208/zima-cali-1.jpg)

Who is that? I wanna suck on those mammaries hardcore.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: ttfg on April 21, 2009, 08:30:11 AM: Dude, didnt you ever watch the nanny ? thats the youngest girl.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 21, 2009, 08:39:15 AM: OMG that bitch got HAWT. She has wonderful tits, if I do say so myself.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 21, 2009, 09:30:47 AM: They're not as big or as good as mine.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 21, 2009, 09:45:42 AM: Quote from: Zoomie on April 13, 2009, 11:45:01 AM
I'll let you know when I'm that desperate.

Feeling desperate enough yet Zoomie?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 21, 2009, 09:58:06 AM: Quote from: Mosh on April 21, 2009, 09:30:47 AM
They're not as big or as good as mine.

Or mine for that matter!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 21, 2009, 04:36:52 PM: Quote from: ms. sarah mascara on April 20, 2009, 11:27:28 PM
Quote from: FAH-Q on April 20, 2009, 07:59:51 PM
"Sex. The physical act of love. Coitus. Do you like it?"

"I was talking about my rug."

"You're not interested in sex?"

"You mean coitus?"

i just watched this movie for the first time last night!

Whaddyafink?

Quote from: homeless-joe on April 21, 2009, 08:30:11 AM
Dude, didnt you ever watch the nanny ? thats the youngest girl.

I never watched The Nanny, but I did just watch the Space Ghost episode with her in it last night.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 21, 2009, 04:51:56 PM: Quote from: tricky on April 21, 2009, 09:45:42 AM
Quote from: Zoomie on April 13, 2009, 11:45:01 AM
I'll let you know when I'm that desperate.

Feeling desperate enough yet Zoomie?

I'm getting there. After the funeral I have a full bottle of Tullamore and a full tank of gas.

Y'never know :D
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 21, 2009, 04:53:55 PM: Oh shit! D Y L A N is going to break out his Tricky suit and high tail it down to NYC!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 05:07:20 PM: Hmmmm ...
I say it's a setup ...

Tricky'll lure the both of them into a dark room, get 'em started, and slip out of the room without them knowing ...

She knows that with Zoomie's alcohol intake, and Dylan's drug intake it'll actually work out for her to record her cherished man-on-man love shit ...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 21, 2009, 06:02:56 PM: I just really want to punch and fuck.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 21, 2009, 06:05:17 PM: I am so there.

I can wear my Lamellar though right?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 21, 2009, 06:06:20 PM: Absolutely not.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: taiko on April 21, 2009, 06:43:21 PM: Quote from: tricky on April 21, 2009, 06:02:56 PM
I just really want to punch and fuck.
in the face?
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Drugmoth on April 21, 2009, 07:15:00 PM: It's fun to face fuck her while she's crying.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on April 21, 2009, 08:13:06 PM: Quote from: eitje on April 21, 2009, 06:43:21 PM
in the face?

In the face would be fun but I doubt people would really be into getting punched in the face.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: psychopathetic on April 21, 2009, 09:48:17 PM: Quote from: FAH-Q on April 21, 2009, 04:36:52 PM

Whaddyafink?

I liked it! I'd tried to watch it on TV a few times but, uh, obviously it's one of those movies that doesn't translate well to the land of censorship.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on April 21, 2009, 09:53:49 PM: Oh man, I can't even imagine trying to watch a censored version.

Here's the opposite:

The Big Lebowski - F_cking Short Version (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqtgfjkB6Pg#lq-lq2-hq)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 09:59:14 PM: hahahahahaha ....
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 21, 2009, 11:26:50 PM: Quote from: tricky on April 21, 2009, 06:02:56 PM
I just really want to punch and fuck.

Eh what the hell. As long as you're dancing on my man muscle it's all good. You're tiny, what harm could you do? I'll probably sleep through the first half anyway...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 21, 2009, 11:34:02 PM: Ohohohoh, I get it ...

How tiny is she, Zoomie?

hahahaha .....
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: mosh on April 22, 2009, 05:07:15 AM: As small as your dick
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Zoomie on April 22, 2009, 07:10:16 AM: OK so now I don't have to rent TBL, I've seen the best parts.
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 22, 2009, 12:24:08 PM: I'm deflated, and on many levels at the moment ...
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: (_)_)===D on April 22, 2009, 12:37:18 PM: Si, that Big Lebowski video is great. As soon as you think it jumped the shark it just gets better!
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Thrash on April 22, 2009, 01:28:49 PM: *gleams*
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: tricky on May 08, 2009, 09:33:40 AM: this entire thread
http://loaded-gun.com/index.php?topic=536.60 (http://loaded-gun.com/index.php?topic=536.60)
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: FAH-Q on May 09, 2009, 02:48:50 PM: Quote
There's a time and a place for them. The time is never. You can figure out the place on your own.

-the Most Interesting Man in the World on pickup lines
Title: Re: Innuendos and stupid pick up lines
Post by: Vindictive89 on May 26, 2009, 12:27:39 AM: "If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?"