Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!
General Category => Sex/Gossip => Topic started by: Emperor Reagan on June 19, 2009, 02:11:29 AM
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Even though it's quoted, I'm changing this shit.
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Let's say you really wanted to fuck one of your coworkers.
Let's say you both got wasted at the bar.
Let's also say you smelled your own fingers right now to make sure you didn't get too carried away when opportunity presented itself.
Would you call out tomorrow?
^5
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Fuck I was wasted. And today might be awkward.
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So was today awkward?
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No, because half the office called out sick.
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Damm, you really got around eh..
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Dude you're still and always my hero.
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Dude you're still and always my hero.
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Damm, you really got around eh..
If by really got around you mean...don't remember half the night and are terrified of what you'll be told once you talk to people who were there...then yes.
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A++++ THREAD WOULD RECOMMEND!
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I did really sit in a bar with my roommate prior to posting this thread and try to smell my own fingers in my drunken stupor to figure out if I had done anything.
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Meh. That's not as embarrassing as asking everyone else in the bar to smell your fingers and tell you what they think.
Uh, not that I've done that or anything...
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OMG IF SOMEONE WALKED UP TO ME AT A BAR AND SAID "SMELL MY FINGERS" YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS I WOULD NEVER DO THAT SHIT!
So, did you get lucky or what Emp? You should have gotten your room mate to smell your dick. I thought you were smart.
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GREATEST THREAD EVER!!!!!
*giggles like a child*
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So a guy walks into a bar and asks everyone to smell his finger...
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so what did your fingers smell like?
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Yes, that's what we're waiting to hear.
Did they smell like:
A) Stale beer
B) Pussy
C) Ass
d) Asspussy
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I'm scared yet intrigued about smell D.
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They smelled like perfume. And I didn't get lucky. It means my work life is slightly less awkward than I was worried it would be, which probably outweighs the other possibility.
Lately I've been pleasantly surprised the day after drinking too much. Nothing I would regret has happened. The worst this year is passing out on my stoop after stripping down to my underwear and frankly, people sitting around on stoops in various states of undress is a daily sight in my neighborhood anyway.
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Booooooooooooooooooooring!
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Ok, I'll make the story better:
I got lucky. My fingers smelled like asspussy and she's trying to clean the semen stains out of the backseat of her car.
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Ha ha@! Awesome!
Now just wait till she starts to fuck with you at work!
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she sounds like a total whore! but you sound awesome!
that's how it goes, right? double standards and all that?
i wonder if she's at home trying to sniff her bajingo to see if it smells like fingers what have been dipped in beer.
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she sounds like a total whore! but you sound awesome!
that's how it goes, right? double standards and all that?
i wonder if she's at home trying to sniff her bajingo to see if it smells like fingers what have been dipped in beer.
I don't understand the point of the first part of this, but the second part is funny as hell.
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Really?
I thought I sounded like a drunk asshole.
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oh, c'mon! everyone knows the double standard, don't they? a guy scores with a bunch of chicks and he's a hero. a chick sleeps with a bunch of dudes and she's just a slut.
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But who cares about that except for sluts?
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former sluts!
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Well, anyway, reasonable adults don't care about that kind of stuff.
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sure, in theory!
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I think Joy is a hero.
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If a chick sleeps with a ton of dudes and I'm not one of them, she's a slut.
If I'm among the tally, then she's awesome.
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If a chick sleeps with a ton of dudes and I'm not one of them, she's a slut.
If I'm among the tally, then she's awesome.
Well yeah, that still stands.
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It all makes sense now...
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Yeah, guys are SO complicated.
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There is this girl who lives here named Courtney who has fucked pretty much every guy in the scene. I mean I have seen whoreishness but she takes it to an internationally acclaimed level. I know countless people who have walked in on her blowing someone, or getting fucked behind someones barn, or peeing in someones mouth, yet I am the only one who seems to openly call her a whore. Most people I know are like, "oh Sasha, let her be, her mom shot herself in the head." I then sit there and think, "so if your mom shoots herself in the head you can be a whore and no one will hold you accountable for it? The world is a fucked up place!"
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Damm, you really got around eh..
!!!
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OMG IF SOMEONE WALKED UP TO ME AT A BAR AND SAID "SMELL MY FINGERS" YOU CAN BET YOUR ASS I WOULD NEVER DO THAT SHIT!
So, did you get lucky or what Emp? You should have gotten your room mate to smell your dick. I thought you were smart.
Also. !!!
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getting fucked behind someones barn
I always imagined sex in Texas is JUST LIKE THIS.
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Whatever happened to going INTO the Rape Barn?
Were the doors jammed again?
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getting fucked behind someones barn
I always imagined sex in Texas is JUST LIKE THIS.
Beat me to it! RAPEBARN!
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I called that girl Courtney yesterday and told her how much of a piece of shit whorebag she is. She was asking my ex for money so she could get an abortion. I called her and asked her, 1) Did you fuck Aasim? and 2) If not, then why are you asking him for money for an abortion? She said, "I asked him because he's my friend," and I said, "you can't get a pool of money going between the ten plus guys you are currently fucking to pay for this?" and then I said, "because I bet you don't even know who it belongs to you piece of shit whore." And then she cried and hung up on me. Fucking slut.
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Is there a pic of this whore anywhere?
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Here's one of her wiping the cum from the sides of her mouth.
(http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs034.snc1/4317_103046000518_548820518_3068270_2739560_n.jpg)
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Sasha is the EXACT reason I'm glad I'm not a girl, cuz going through junior high with her must have been HELL.
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I call it as I see it. I was the nice/shy/cute girl in junior high. Being called flat chested and being made fun of for being skinny turned me into the cunt you know and fear today.
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Oh, neat, you got made fun of for the opposite of what I did growing up.
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Kids are fucking assholes.
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No shit. Not wanting to go swimming at summer camp cuz kids made fun of my boy boobs was awesome. Killing something all of a sudden seems like a really great idea :D
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Deep cleansing breath, Dyl. Breast meat is breast meat, after all. Be proud of them.
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They are beautiful.
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Always look for the good, man.
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skims thread: nice tits on that one
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Ah, the traumas of childhood.
Sometimes I wonder if anyone ever really moves past their mid-late teens emotionally.
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I had a great time as a mid-late teen. it was 9-14 that I truly hated.
... and no. I don't really think anyone gets over it.
I was the tall, thin girl that listened to weird music and no one understood. I had buck teeth, long greasy hair and I was poor. That was plenty of fodder to tear me apart...
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Here's one of her wiping the cum from the sides of her mouth.
(http://photos-g.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs034.snc1/4317_103046000518_548820518_3068270_2739560_n.jpg)
I'll probably be in town next year for SXSW.
If she's not knocked up then let me know.
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I had a great time as a mid-late teen. it was 9-14 that I truly hated.
... and no. I don't really think anyone gets over it.
I was the tall, thin girl that listened to weird music and no one understood. I had buck teeth, long greasy hair and I was poor. That was plenty of fodder to tear me apart...
I was a lonely social outcast and fat to boot. I ranked so low on the social ladder that people didn't either bother to make fun of me. I had so little self-esteem and confidence that I had to get over the nervous lump in my gut each day to go to highschool for four years. I even thought about suicide a few times.
Things have changed since then.
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I don't live in my past, but memories DO trigger bad things in me. That's why I try and absorb my mind into other things, so I don't have to remember and think at all.
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yeah, because now you're hot.
and:
I call it as I see it. I was the nice/shy/cute girl in junior high. Being called flat chested and being made fun of for being skinny turned me into the cunt you know and fear today.
me too, sort of. i actually never got teased for being skinny, but in the ten years since high school, i do have people telling me i suck because i'm thin and they've let themselves go (into the abyss that is the buck-sixty plus range). all those stupid whores who peaked in high school... to them i say "ha! suck more dick and see where it gets you".
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I call it as I see it. I was the nice/shy/cute girl in junior high. Being called flat chested and being made fun of for being skinny turned me into the cunt you know and fear today.
My friend gets made fun of being flat chested too.
I'm enjoying myself right now. This last year has been the best. It's finally all clicked into place. I know who to talk to, who I get on with really well, if you know what I mean...
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I know that right when you figure it out it mostly becomes irrelevant
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I was the asshole that made all kids lives a misery in skool.
Actually, I wasnt. Nobody really fucked with the weird Irish kid. 'cept one Italian kid, who could have easily made mince meat of me, but was too gutless to, so he sent his goon friends after me. I found out where business of the parents of one of them was, and strangely it all just stopped. Being Irish (and loud about it) was good enough to keep most of the shit off.
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I know who I get it on with really well too...
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I was one third band geek, one third school newspaper photo geek and one third surfer-stoner. I didn't get tall until I was like 17 but I had some neat jobs and talents so even the cool, beautiful, sporty people were ok to me. The cheerleaders all wanted their photos taken, the sports stars all wanted to be on page one and I knew everyone from the 12th Street seawall and Canaveral Pier anyway. I was kind of like Mitch Kramer in Dazed and Confused. They gave me shit but I was accepted.
It was the rest of the world that fucked up my head...
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hahahaha Mosh is Irish?
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I've been an outsider my whole life. I was that American/non-Cornish kid in Cornwall, that white boy in Antigua, and that English guy in Catalunya. Sometimes it's been nice, sometimes not.
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Weird....I'm listening to Cornish music....GET OUTTA MY HEAD
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No shit?
What?
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The Tuss (most people have come to the conclusion that it is a side project of Richard D. James, and I believe that for sure)
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hahahaha Mosh is Irish?
Worse than just Irish... Protestant Irish.
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Meh. Could be worse. You could be a Serbian/Nazi/Hutu/Klansman...
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Or a Jew.
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...which would be awful, of course.
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cept for all that sweet jew gold
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The Tuss (most people have come to the conclusion that it is a side project of Richard D. James, and I believe that for sure)
Weird. He's from nearly where I grew up:
(http://www.cornwallandislesofscilly.nhs.uk/CornwallAndIslesOfScillyPCT/Images/GeneralSiteImages/MapDental2.gif)
He went to school in Redruth, I grew up in between Hayle and Penzance.
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I hear there are pirates there.
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Yarr!
Cornish people sort of are pirates, anyway. Or at least they sound like it.
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W@rrrrrrrd ....
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When I was a wee lad I got along with everybody but didn't particularly care for anybody. I fit in well with any crowd and then dispersed and fit in with another. Same in high school pretty much.
Girls are definitely way more hardcore in the teenage years than guys.
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Cunts ...
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"Oh my god, did I make you cry? That's so sweet."
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I got along with, and was friends with everyone ...
My high school years rocked ....
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I'm going to the psychW@rrrrrrrd .... see you in a week
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It's about time ...
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Yeah, I haven't had a psychward trip for almost a year!
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Almost due, however, the full moon's still a few weeks off ...
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That explains the neck beard .
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Dude, I haven't had a neckbeard for like 6 months
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~shrug. For some reason I dont go around asking guys for recent pics.
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I have neck-shadow ...
I didn't feel like shaving yet this week ....
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Its hard to get the razor between your ass cheeks by yourself...
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I could prove you wrong on that. The key is to shave side to side, not up and down.
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Ok, then ...
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I rest my case!
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I more than believe you ...
Do you have a large problem with hair on your taint?
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No, I don't. I have a normal bush. I never get hair in weird places either, like on my boobs or on my nipple... etc
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But you shave your taint ...
Why not?
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Taint shaving sounds fun.
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I shave everything, because it's all connected. Do you think that hair grows in your bush area, then stops and starts again at your asshole... Seriously, you're that naive?!
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No, I just never really thought about it ...
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You should teach Dave a lesson by making him shave you from belly button to coccyx.
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I'd do it ...
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Not if I do first!
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Hey, I just noticed option 3!
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And?
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I'm just saying ....
Hey, I just noticed option 3!
I'm also surprised there's only one vote for it ***ahemIanahem** ...
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Fixed.
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HEY!
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The first step to wellness is admitting you have a problem, Dave.
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It's not like my colon is hanging out of the left side of my shorts, down to my knees, like a sick baby elephant's trunk .....
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quotebox
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I like to call that the pink sock, Dave.
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Oh, yeah ....
"Pick Sock" ...
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_RmJGC-W5pf4/Rfk48FvHfUI/AAAAAAAAANQ/5AUg1a50kXw/s400/ruffled+pink+sock.jpg)
(http://cdn-2.muchosucko.com/production/asset/thumb/023/843//redsock.jpg)
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Congrats. Few things make me want to vomit. That and the bottle breaking in the ass gif did it.
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I was just demonstrating your reply ...
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oh my. in all my years posting with you people, that's the first pink sock photo i've ever seen. yuck yuck yuck.
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Really??!?!?
I'm actually surprised by that ...
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Congrats. Few things make me want to vomit. That and the bottle breaking in the ass gif did it.
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It's not like my colon is hanging out of the left side of my shorts, down to my knees, like a sick baby elephant's trunk .....
quotebox
*accepts award*
"I'd like to thank ....."
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Holy shit... how can I avoid ever having to deal with a pink sock scenario?
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lube, lots of lube
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Take one Aleve, before bed, while drunk, and awaken, feeling FAB!
edited for succintness
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Uh yeah, Fyre ixnay on the ystalcray ethmay...
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Did someone say crystal meth?
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Oops.
edited for succintness
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It's like saying dxm in RT.
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My attention, you has it.
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they don't know
who we beeeeeeeeeee
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Oh, FUCK!!!
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They smelled like perfume. And I didn't get lucky. It means my work life is slightly less awkward than I was worried it would be, which probably outweighs the other possibility.
Lately I've been pleasantly surprised the day after drinking too much. Nothing I would regret has happened. The worst this year is passing out on my stoop after stripping down to my underwear and frankly, people sitting around on stoops in various states of undress is a daily sight in my neighborhood anyway.
This is why you stay sober and let them drink it up. It can't go wrong, if you're in control.