Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!
General Category => Politics, Philosophy, News and/or Current Affairs => Topic started by: Zoomie on June 25, 2009, 10:11:27 PM
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So my sister often sends me these forwards, like "How to get an Iraqi to admit he's a terrorist" and such shit. She lives in the wasteland between Rochester and Syracuse, NY, two very lefty cities. The 'necks in between are gun-totin conservative assholes.
So today she sent me this lovely, sterling wit:
Don't forget to mark your calendars. As you may already know, it is a
sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked. He
must commit suicide if he does. So next Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time,
all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked
to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for
one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of
their house to prove they are not Muslims, & to demonstrate they think
it's okay to see nude women other than their wife, & to show support for
all American women. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold
6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment. The
American gov't appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists &
applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
God bless America !
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't send this to at
least 5 people you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward &
are in the position of posing as a national threat.
To which I replied:
Hmmm.. The Quran says that, you are absolutely correct. But what's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
"If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them shall be put to death for their abominable deed; they have forfeited their lives." (Lev 20:13)
"Immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be mentioned among you, as is fitting among holy ones, no obscenity or silly or suggestive talk, which is out of place, but instead, thanksgiving. Be sure of this, that no immoral or impure or greedy person, that is, an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty arguments, for because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the disobedient." (Ephesians 5:3-7)
So then, by these standards, and by the climate of religious tolerance in the US today, the following people should be immediately put to death with official saction of the current seated Pope:
Sen. John Ensign (R-NV)
Rudy Giuliani (R-NY)
Gov John Sanford (R-SC)
Gov Eliot Spitzer (D-NY)
Gov Charlie Crist (R-FL)
Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID)
Rep Mark Foley (R-FL)
Mayor James West (R-Spokane, WA)
Rep John Hinson (R-MS)
Rep Bob Bauman (R-MD)
Sen John Edwards (D-NC)
Sen Bob Packwood (R-OR)
Rep Don Sherwood (R-PA)
Gov Paul Patton (D-KY)
Sen Jack Ryan (R-IL)
Assistant Secretary of Defense Pete Williams (Dick Cheney Staff so obviously R)
Pastor Ted Haggard (New Life Evangelical Church, Colorado Springs)
Rev Jimmy Swaggart (Family Worship Center, Baton Rouge, LA)
Cardinal Roger Mahoney (Los Angeles Catholic Archdiocese)
(Does it get any more conservative than these last three?)
Should I continue? And these are the ones we know about, but we'll find more, because it's vitally important to national security of our country to know who is a homosexual and who isn't, who is cheating on their spouse and who isn't. Right?
The trend here is that the hypocritical RIGHT (Christian and otherwise) are 70% more likely to either be a closeted homosexual or to cheat on their spouses, and then scream and yell and jump up and down that such things are polluting "THEIR AMERICA".
Here's a neat idea: Love and be nice to everyone.
I get the feeling that Jesus would approve of that.
Regards
are in the position of posing as a national threat.
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I want to sit outside with a cold one RIGHT NOW
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Thank you Nick! You reminded me that I have Yuengling and Harp still cold from the beach last weekend.
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fuck
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Ephesians isnt the word of god. Just well ummm, a letter writen by Paul.....from Jail..
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Ummm... none of it is the word of God. It's the accounts written by men and it's incomplete after the editing by the Council if Nicea.
And that's not just the ravings of Dan Brown, it's a fact.
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I believe that too. I also believe you know more than I do about it all. Never thought otherwise.
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was that email tongue in cheek? Or real?
Detroit's been drinking with the asian neighbors, and they drink like fucking FISH. He was so very wasted sunday night...
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I love drinking with Asian friends. I should make some.
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Thanks Zoomie! You reminded me of what I should do tonight
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Drink or make Asian friends?
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No, get awoken from a nice sexual dream during an afternoon nap so your good friend can share his latest sexual conquest with you when you still aren't getting any sex.
Asshat.
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Dude, BEST.STORY.OV.THA.YEAR!
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No argument at all, it was. Don't call during my nap next time.
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No, get awoken from a nice sexual dream during an afternoon nap so your good friend can share his latest sexual conquest with you when you still aren't getting any sex.
especially when you were dreaming about sex.
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Especially.
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I fully support the original plan, but not for the uglies.
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No argument at all, it was. Don't call during my nap next time.
How in the fuck do I know when your old ass randomly shuts down and you go into "sleep mode"?
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I'll text you.
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*sigh*
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No really. I've saved "Dave, I'm napping" and "Dave, I'm awake" to my preset messages. Right after "I love you" "Pounding tonight" and "OMG remind me to wear a condom next time you slut. And get to a doctor ASAP".
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Well, at least I rank somewhere ....
FLAW: you answered the phone, fag!
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Yeah much like you I run a business, FAG.
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No argument at all, it was. Don't call during my nap next time.
How in the fuck do I know when your old ass randomly shuts down and you go into "sleep mode"?