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General Category => Discontempt => Topic started by: Thrash on July 06, 2009, 03:38:03 PM

Title: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Thrash on July 06, 2009, 03:38:03 PM
http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-experts-10_boilerplate_phrases_that_kill_resumes-97 (http://hotjobs.yahoo.com/career-experts-10_boilerplate_phrases_that_kill_resumes-97)

 
Quote
   * Results-oriented professional
    * Cross-functional teams
    * More than
  • years of progressively responsible experience

    * Superior (or excellent) communication skills
    * Strong work ethic
    * Met or exceeded expectations
    * Proven track record of success
    * Works well with all levels of staff
    * Team player
    * Bottom-line orientation

Good thing I don't have to worry about this ....
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Libertine on July 06, 2009, 03:49:03 PM
1 Way to Kill Your Resume

* Listen to dumb advice from stupid bitches on Yahoo Jobs.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Zoomie on July 06, 2009, 03:49:36 PM
Quote
* Convicted Serial Child-Molester
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Libertine on July 06, 2009, 03:57:14 PM
Quote from: Zoomie on July 06, 2009, 03:49:36 PM
Quote
* Convicted Serial Child-Molester

Too strong, try modifying to:

* Good With Children, Hands on Experience Conducting Enjoyable Activities
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Zoomie on July 06, 2009, 04:01:27 PM
Got it.

You made a good point though. I don't use Yahoo's search engine, why would I use their job advice? In my line of work I won't take a job if they require a resume.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Emperor Reagan on July 06, 2009, 05:21:49 PM
That bullshit is probably what the employer put in their ad, though, because human resource employees are typically bubbly half-wits.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Zoomie on July 06, 2009, 05:24:33 PM
Werd.

Ooooh, I feel so... urban!
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Thrash on July 06, 2009, 06:00:07 PM
W3rd ...
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: ttfg on July 06, 2009, 07:12:41 PM
I've never been to a Job interview before. Never had a resume either.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: underclass on July 06, 2009, 09:10:00 PM
I just put down what I can do, what I have done, and that I dig sports.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Daddy on July 06, 2009, 10:31:04 PM
The last two jobs I held before my present employment (my full-time job and the radio gig), there was no call for a resume. I walked into the company owner's office. He asked if I could do the job for x amount of money, I said, yes. That was it. My present contractor job was a metric fuckton more probing.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Emperor Reagan on July 06, 2009, 10:33:58 PM
I should have written, "I'm overqualified for your job but I really just don't like responsibility" based on almost every single job for which I've ever applied.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Thrash on July 12, 2009, 08:02:17 PM
Right ...
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: mosh on July 13, 2009, 04:05:21 AM
Quote from: Daddy on July 06, 2009, 10:31:04 PM
My present contractor job was a metric fuckton more probing.
(http://c1.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/81/l_8c7d90ca69ee42ef9c6044f28dd4bba8.jpg)
Like this?
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Lothar on July 13, 2009, 06:18:08 PM
I feel bad for the jizz moppers after THAT one.
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Lucky on July 18, 2009, 10:00:23 AM
Quote from: Lothar on July 13, 2009, 06:18:08 PM
I feel bad for the jizz moppers after THAT one.

Can you really imagine a scenario in which you DON'T feel bad for jizz-moppers?
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: Thrash on July 19, 2009, 04:14:26 AM
Good point ...
Title: Re: 10 Way To Kill Your Resume
Post by: FAH-Q on July 19, 2009, 04:39:16 PM
Quote from: homeless-joe on July 06, 2009, 07:12:41 PM
I've never been to a Job interview before. Never had a resume either.