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General Category => Sex/Gossip => Topic started by: Thrash on August 01, 2009, 01:49:54 PM

Title: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 01, 2009, 01:49:54 PM
http://www.efukt.com/20510_Sex_Ed_For_Dummies_.html (http://www.efukt.com/20510_Sex_Ed_For_Dummies_.html)
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: fyrenza on August 02, 2009, 01:07:18 AM
You know, sad as this is, there truly ARE folks out there that have NO earthly idea of how to take care of themselves,

HYGIENICALLY.

Believe me when i tell you,  ANY education/information is better than none.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 03, 2009, 10:54:30 AM
i am always surprised at how many young women know nothing about kegel's and how using the exercises during sex means FUN TIMES
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 03, 2009, 02:09:15 PM
Agreed ....
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Wozzeck on August 03, 2009, 05:36:49 PM
Quote
how using the exercises during sex means FUN TIMES

FUN TIMES yes, but SORE COCK as well.

Although this is only really a problem because being sore just makes it way the hell easier to get aroused again, and by then the girl is usually too sore and/or soporific herself to want to have another go.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 03, 2009, 06:27:41 PM
I dunno, man. I use it, never had a complaint or a problem but consistently get good responses... And im always up for more, unless it was too long at first (and yes, there is a too long, gentlemen)
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: underclass on August 03, 2009, 08:59:17 PM
yes, there is a too long, ladies. Go to fucking sleep already, I've got work in the morning
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: fyrenza on August 03, 2009, 09:29:42 PM
I dunno, man. I use it, never had a complaint or a problem but consistently get good responses... And im always up for more, unless it was too long at first (and yes, there is a too long, gentlemen)

For a fact, Jack.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Wozzeck on August 04, 2009, 02:39:16 AM
 Well, excuse me for liking to fuck.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 04, 2009, 03:00:23 AM
Man, seriously. What is this Goldilocks bullshit? "Oh, that wasn't long enough.", "Oh, can you finish already?"

STFU and take this dick. For however long it lasts, damnit.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 04, 2009, 03:03:16 AM
I didn't know that tightening your snatch during sex had an actual term for it. 
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 04, 2009, 03:04:37 AM
Yep. It's called "feels good".
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: (_)_)===D on August 04, 2009, 10:22:55 AM
I call it "pussy blowjob".
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 04, 2009, 10:25:08 AM
hahahaha ....
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 04, 2009, 04:29:23 PM
"Plowjob?"
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 04, 2009, 06:06:19 PM
No, that the "fucking too much/too hard" thing ...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 05, 2009, 03:06:00 AM
I'm always told how tight I am.... but it makes me wonder if guys just say that to all girls.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: underclass on August 05, 2009, 04:19:21 AM
I'm always told how tight I am.... but it makes me wonder if guys just say that to all girls.

we do
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 05, 2009, 04:30:54 AM
I'm always told how tight I am.... but it makes me wonder if guys just say that to all girls.

we do

Even if it's not true?  I would never tell a guy he had a big dick if he didn't.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: underclass on August 05, 2009, 05:24:11 AM
I'm always told how tight I am.... but it makes me wonder if guys just say that to all girls.

we do

Even if it's not true?  I would never tell a guy he had a big dick if he didn't.

Sorry to tell you this, but it could be a fall-back comment. If I can't say with a straight face that the sex was hot, wild, she has a great figure, gorgeous eyes then I can always trot out the "tight comment".

If you're getting that on top of other praise then you're all good however
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 05, 2009, 06:01:15 AM
Oh god I get at least five of the following before I get tight...., "god you are a great kisser... man your ass!... those legs make my face melt.... sexy eyes.... sexy butt.... jesus, where have you been all my life?!.... great tits... you're so beautiful... best sex ever".....

You just opened my eyes to the truth Nick, the gospel truth!
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: (_)_)===D on August 05, 2009, 03:59:06 PM
Oh god I get at least five of the following before I get tight...., "god you are a great kisser... man your ass!... those legs make my face melt.... sexy eyes.... sexy butt.... jesus, where have you been all my life?!.... great tits... you're so beautiful... best sex ever".....

You just opened my eyes to the truth Nick, the gospel truth!

The first stuff is all just gettin in the pants talk. The tight pussy remark is usually out of genuine appreciation.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 05, 2009, 04:10:20 PM

The first stuff is all just gettin in the pants talk. The tight pussy remark is usually out of genuine appreciation.

Truth. If we're talking about the pussy, we mean it.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 05, 2009, 05:13:56 PM
Yeah, conversely to your dick comment, I'd never tell a girl she's tight if she's not ...

Wait, how in the fuck are you still tight by any means without Kegels?
Do "trendy's" have small dicks or something?
I remember you saying that small dicks are the best for anal, and I get that, but ...

Or did I miss something?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 05, 2009, 08:26:37 PM
Hipsters wear tight, low rise girl jeans and rarely have moose knuckle. Therefore, I have concluded that hipster men have small, pencil dicks.
How do I know this?

Two of the most recent guys ive been with were both thin in build, with baby's arms for cocks. These men were also not even close to hipsters. They can never find jeans that fit.
They are literally stuffing the cock in the low rise pants only to be unable to zip it up. If they do get it up, the cock is glued to the leg, head in plain view, with the balls spread across like a bra, drying on a clothesline. Uncomfortable!
A size or two up does not aid this issue.

I knew the size of my current's penis as he had the unfortunate issue of Fashion not adhering to the need of the people.
Well, actually in this case it was fairly fortunate.

Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 05, 2009, 09:18:46 PM
Jeans seem to be trending that way these days. I can't wear any of the fashionable jeans, as they all seem to have a nonexistant crotch. And this isn't to say I'm hung like a moose, the jeans are just ridiculous.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 06, 2009, 01:16:21 AM
Nope, they all have nice big dicks.  Skinny tall white guy=big dicks.  Also my ex wasn't small either, which was odd because he was short and indian.  Oh and I know why I'm not all streched out, because vaginas are elastic dipshit.  It's not like a sweater where you pull on it a few times and it's stretched out for life, oh and washing it in warm water doesn't shrink your vag back to size either.  I can't believe you would think I'm all streched out.  What about people who have sex with the same person 3 times a day for years and years?  Just because they are with one person, they are going to stay super tight?  Idiot.  Refer yourself to the thread about how tight my pussy is r-tard.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: underclass on August 06, 2009, 02:02:05 AM
si - ignore fashion and wear comfortable pants. You're engaged man, you can wear board-shorts for ever
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Wozzeck on August 06, 2009, 02:33:45 AM
 Jesus, what is this, Masterdick Theatre?

Quote
What about people who have sex with the same person 3 times a day for years and years?  Just because they are with one person they are going to stay super tight?

 It should be noted that the term "loose woman" originally referred to her morals, not her snatch.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 06, 2009, 05:11:45 AM

Wait, how in the fuck are you still tight by any means without Kegels?


He's not referring to morals.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 06, 2009, 05:14:38 AM
Also, why do women have to be loose when they date and do whatever they want and men are studs.  FUuuuuucccCCCK That.

(http://www.stickergiant.com/Merchant2/imgs/250/dcb578.gif)
(http://www.secuestro-emocional.org/images/feminazi/feminazi.jpg)
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Lothar on August 06, 2009, 05:43:16 AM
Because barring violence, women hold all the control when it comes to doling out the snatch.

Guys who bone a lot of chicks have been able to conquer the denial of tang, and are therefore respected as progenitors of their seed.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 06, 2009, 08:48:23 AM
right on sasha
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 06, 2009, 03:52:53 PM
I think you mistook what I was referring to as insulting when I didn't mean for it to be that way.
I apologize if you took it as such.

What I meant was; how do you, in the same rights as the woman or women who are having sex 3X/day or so, maintain the tread on the tires without maintenance?

I've been with girls who do, and girls who don't, and there's a clear difference ...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 06, 2009, 04:26:15 PM
WHAT maintenance? Ive been having sex at the least 4x a month since I was 15 (with the exception of June 1999-March 2000 and Jan 2001 - June 2002 and all of 2006 i had a slow down) and Im not slipping bowling balls out of my vagina with ease. It's elastic, self cleaning and healing. The vagina is fucking magical. If youre not stuffing wide ass bottles up there non stop, the average fat dick wont stretch you out, einstein. Quit sex for two weeks, and watch the average woman start tearing up during entry with a large man. Kegels during sex is for pure pleasure.

Having a BABY will stretch your vagina out to where kegels is needed.
Kegels is MEANT for post-pregnancy vaginas

Dave, I love you but if you're looking for tight as a frogs ass, go fuck a cat. Other than that, I prescribe that you read this book

http://www.amazon.com/Vaginas-Owners-Dr-Carol-Livoti/dp/1568582951/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1249590283&sr=8-12 (http://www.amazon.com/Vaginas-Owners-Dr-Carol-Livoti/dp/1568582951/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1249590283&sr=8-12)






Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Wozzeck on August 06, 2009, 04:49:12 PM
Quote
Also, why do women have to be loose when they date and do whatever they want and men are studs.  FUuuuuucccCCCK That.

 Sexual dimorphism. There are hard and fast (a pun!) reasons why traditional sexual morality typically treats men and women differently. (Hint: Because men and women play different roles in reproduction.)

 The relatively modern concept of dismissing any traditional value without questioning if it might actually have come into existence (and survived for generations) for a good reason, and then turning around and acting as if this sort of knee-jerk rebellion were brilliant and daring, is pretty lame.

 That having been said, guys who go through life swinging their dicks from one floozy to another are fairly lame in their own arrested adolescent way. It's like being a twenty-five year old who still hangs out with high school kids at the mall.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: (_)_)===D on August 06, 2009, 05:12:26 PM
WHAT maintenance? Ive been having sex at the least 4x a month since I was 15 (with the exception of June 1999-March 2000 and Jan 2001 - June 2002 and all of 2006 i had a slow down) and Im not slipping bowling balls out of my vagina with ease. It's elastic, self cleaning and healing. The vagina is fucking magical.

I prescribe that you read this book

http://www.amazon.com/Vaginas-Owners-Dr-Carol-Livoti/dp/1568582951/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1249590283&sr=8-12 (http://www.amazon.com/Vaginas-Owners-Dr-Carol-Livoti/dp/1568582951/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1249590283&sr=8-12)


If the vagina is so low maintenance, then why would someone need an owners manual?

You speak LIES!
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 06, 2009, 05:13:57 PM
Ive been having sex at the least 4x a month since I was 15

A month? Not 4x a day? How sad for you.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 06, 2009, 05:27:26 PM
didnt I say at the LEAST?

as for 4x a day... i havent done that since at least October.

"Wozzy":

Quote
It's like being a twenty-five year old who still hangs out with high school kids at the mall.
You mean my brother?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 07, 2009, 12:27:36 AM
si - ignore fashion and wear comfortable pants. You're engaged man, you can wear board-shorts for ever

Fuck yeah dude. I wear nothing but comfortable jeans (now and then, mostly at night when it's cooler) and comfortable cargo shorts. In fact, I just bought another two pairs of comfy shorts today. Practical and comfortable. Fuck fashion.

Because barring violence, women hold all the control when it comes to doling out the snatch.

Guys who bone a lot of chicks have been able to conquer the denial of tang, and are therefore respected as progenitors of their seed.

Yep.

right on sasha

Yeah! Right on, sistah! Burn that bra! Let yer tits sag! Yeah! Fuck men! But don't fuck men! The male function is to produce sperm. We now have sperm banks! Yeah! SISTERS. ARE DOIN' IT. FOR THEMSELVES. YEAH! And shit.

The vagina is fucking magical. If youre not stuffing wide ass bottles up there non stop, the average fat dick wont stretch you out, einstein. Quit sex for two weeks, and watch the average woman start tearing up during entry with a large man. Kegels during sex is for pure pleasure.

Also true.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: underclass on August 07, 2009, 01:43:19 AM
I agree with every post in this discussion and you're arguing with each other. WTF?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: mosh on August 07, 2009, 07:57:20 AM
Fuckin fence sitter...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 07, 2009, 09:44:24 AM
This is what comes of being raised in a non-aggressive neutral nation.

Like France in the 1920s...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 07, 2009, 10:24:41 AM
Quote
Yeah! Right on, sistah! Burn that bra! Let yer tits sag! Yeah! Fuck men! But don't fuck men! The male function is to produce sperm. We now have sperm banks! Yeah! SISTERS. ARE DOIN' IT. FOR THEMSELVES. YEAH! And shit.[/img]

Nah. I like men too much, and I always wear a bra to keep these babies heads high and tight.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: tulip on August 07, 2009, 08:24:22 PM
a midwife once told me 'you're as tight as  a woman who's never had kids'. it was kind of an uncomfortable moment, but i was flattered nonetheless
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 07, 2009, 08:45:06 PM
It's true, she is.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 07, 2009, 10:07:27 PM
i know, I had a real hard time getting my fist in there two weekends ago
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 07, 2009, 10:12:15 PM
You really need to keep your large, bow-holding hands out of my woman's love canal.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: fyrenza on August 08, 2009, 01:50:17 AM
You really need to keep your large, bow-holding hands out of my woman's love canal.

Archer?  Fiddler?  Lumberjack?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 08, 2009, 03:38:05 AM
I disagree; after a certain age it stops being "elastic" ....
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: mosh on August 08, 2009, 04:28:13 AM
We're not talking about your dirtbox, Dave.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 08, 2009, 07:55:54 AM
You really need to keep your large, bow-holding hands out of my woman's love canal.

Archer?  Fiddler?  Lumberjack?

Cello
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Daddy on August 08, 2009, 08:00:13 AM
We're not talking about your dirtbox, Dave.

I laughed so hard reading that, I just farted.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 08, 2009, 09:22:54 AM
I work in plastics.

Dave, how OLD are the broads you are fucking? 80?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 08, 2009, 05:20:41 PM
I disagree; after a certain age it stops being "elastic" ....


So stop fuckin' old bitches!
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: fyrenza on August 08, 2009, 06:25:16 PM
I disagree; after a certain age it stops being "elastic" ....


So stop fuckin' old bitches!

<proper English :  SNIFF! >

ExCUse me?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 09, 2009, 02:15:09 PM
I've had 'em 23-33 that were so loose I stopped fucking 'em 'cause it wasn't worth it ...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 09, 2009, 02:57:05 PM
Get a bigger dick?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 09, 2009, 03:00:50 PM
No, see, that's not it ...
Why are some girls so loose?

Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Wozzeck on August 09, 2009, 04:01:25 PM
Why do some girls have different-sized noses than other girls?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 09, 2009, 04:04:15 PM
That's true too ....
But I'm saying ...
It doesn't have to be ...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 09, 2009, 05:06:33 PM
Fat girls are always tight. Cuz the sides are padded.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 10, 2009, 03:02:37 AM
This falls under the same category as the original:
http://www.efukt.com/2323_The_Vagina_Of_A_Transexual_.html (http://www.efukt.com/2323_The_Vagina_Of_A_Transexual_.html)
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: (_)_)===D on August 11, 2009, 09:42:01 AM
Can a mod please move the above post to the tranny thread?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: mosh on August 11, 2009, 09:57:46 AM
And make your post completely incomprehensible?

We dont do that sort of thing around here...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 12, 2009, 02:00:05 AM
I think that if all guys grew bigger dicks tightness would never be an issue.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: (_)_)===D on August 12, 2009, 09:38:11 AM
Now don't go confusing big vaginas with small dicks.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 12, 2009, 10:27:22 AM
yeah, youre clearly upsetting krsna. JEEZ.

Its alright, dude. All the vaginas of the world are just loose.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 12, 2009, 05:46:51 PM
hahahaha ...
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: (_)_)===D on August 12, 2009, 06:38:36 PM
It's like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: communist twat on August 12, 2009, 07:32:56 PM
Man i could have gone my whole life without seeing a close up of that dude foreskin and hot damn that was an ugly vag.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 13, 2009, 02:43:52 AM
First lesson of LG don't watch the posted video links, second rule of LG don't watch the posted video links.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 15, 2009, 04:14:31 AM
I've never had to learn those rules cuz I've never broken those rules. Wrap your mind around THAT!
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 15, 2009, 05:04:39 PM
Some shit we post is cool though ....
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: FAH-Q on August 15, 2009, 05:17:33 PM
Considering the fact that the vast majority of my time spent here is when I'm at work, very little of what gets posted is cool for me.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 15, 2009, 05:21:17 PM
hahahaha ....
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 16, 2009, 01:53:35 AM
I can't watch the videos at work anyway since youtube is blocked.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 16, 2009, 02:50:10 AM
Is eFukt?
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: bagman on August 22, 2009, 09:00:04 PM
I'm a kegeling mothafucka. For about 6 months, every time I piss I do kegels at least 10 times to stop the flow of urine. Sometimes I'll do a couple of hundred (once every few weeks) until the muscles are to exhaustion.

Right as you're about to cum it's AWESOME being able to clamp down and kegel that shit from coming out, and it really changes up the sensations of my orgasms. Sometimes I will kegel before cumming, sometimes I won't and sometimes I'll kegel, then stop, then kegel and then stop again in rapid succession as I am about to blow and haha those are the ones where I have had comments from two different women about my forceful ejaculations/amount of semen.

ALL HAIL THE KEGEL.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 23, 2009, 05:43:39 AM
That was the most homosexual thing I have ever read, and ....

I have had comments from two different women about my forceful ejaculations/amount of semen.

You're only had sex with two women and one of them is a 12 year old boy!
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: bagman on August 23, 2009, 06:00:04 AM
It's time to make a video of said forceful evacuation, just for you.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: 13chemicals on August 23, 2009, 07:09:55 AM
I would let Dylan download that video from you and tell me about it.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: tricky on August 23, 2009, 06:33:13 PM
I'm a kegeling mothafucka. For about 6 months, every time I piss I do kegels at least 10 times to stop the flow of urine. Sometimes I'll do a couple of hundred (once every few weeks) until the muscles are to exhaustion.

Right as you're about to cum it's AWESOME being able to clamp down and kegel that shit from coming out, and it really changes up the sensations of my orgasms. Sometimes I will kegel before cumming, sometimes I won't and sometimes I'll kegel, then stop, then kegel and then stop again in rapid succession as I am about to blow and haha those are the ones where I have had comments from two different women about my forceful ejaculations/amount of semen.

ALL HAIL THE KEGEL.

You're a fucking faggot.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: ttfg on August 23, 2009, 06:35:54 PM
..who is giving himself huge prostate issues in the future by the sound of it.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Zoomie on August 23, 2009, 06:46:42 PM
Uh yeah, I can't seeing a woman being turned on by a "forceful ejaculation". So you're either doing it for you or to impress the boys.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: bagman on August 23, 2009, 09:01:38 PM
Hahaha.
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: The Geek on August 23, 2009, 10:27:27 PM
whoa guys, watch out! this dude knows!
Title: Re: Who is this fucking for, anyway?
Post by: Thrash on August 24, 2009, 05:44:35 PM
W3rd ...