I have let go of another chapter of my life. I've turned the page and I don't feel like I have to keep flipping back to it an reading it over and over. There is a new peaceful feeling deep inside me when I end up in a conversation with my ex and I realize that I do not harbor and feelings whatsoever for him. I do not hate him, nor do I feel apprehension. Likewise, I don't feel Anything. I find myself using effective interpersonal skills with him, half smiling, being kind and ending the conversation on a positive note and walking away. My mind is full of other things now days.
Finished therapy, work out six days a week, and despite the fact that no one is hiring around here, I have a smile on my face.
I no longer sit on the floor in my bathroom crying hysterically and fantasizing about harming myself, shooting up, or harming others.
It's been years.
I no longer cleave to the idea that I can passively-aggressively get people to change and meet my needs for me.
I'm totally growing up.