Doormouse: WARNING: Im going to use some "god language" (the thought makes my skin crawl), but I dont know how else to answer your questions without it, so bear with me.
I guess I'm not certain of the details but I imagine the current dogma holds that those who have not been baptized or confirmed or those that don't believe in Jesus will still have to burn off some of these sins in purgatory, no?
you're thinking of "Limbo" which isn't necessarily taught anymore. Purgatory, as it is taught post-vatican II, is a "conversation" with god - like your final confession of sin after death. According to Catholics, the merciful God forgives and you resurrect. There is no floating around or concept of time in a waiting room as was previously taught.
I mean as far as I was taught almost nobody gets directly into heaven except saints and no non-Christian is eligible for sainthood, right?
I think there's a lot you have confused here. "Saints" don't become "Saints" until well after the human in question is deceased. For example, Mother Theresa of Calcutta isn't a Saint yet, she is only "blessed". St. Katherine Drexel took forever to be canonized. There's all sorts of things that go on in the Vatican before a deceased can become a saint. Therefore, no one resurrects as a saint. The Vatican is always reviewing who is, who should no longer be, and who could become a saint. Its all very confusing. As for the non-christian and sainthood, I am not sure about that. Mahatma Gandhi would be the best candidate for that but I dont think that's on the table.
the 7th sacrament, the anointing of the sick, contains reconciliation within it which is supposed to prepare the person for resurrection into heaven. That's why it is very important for many hard-line catholics to wear a bracelet that says they are catholic, or to tell a hospital that they are in need of a priest when they are very sick. Also the catholic rite of burial contains all sorts of reconciliation references in it.
Sounds like you were taught by a very old catechist. I had the same problem in my primary years. I went to 13 years of catholic education, 4 were single sex. From grades 1-3 I was taught out of old 1950's catechism books and learned all about purgatory, not eating meat on fridays, limbo and all sorts of pre-vatican II stuff (the scary stuff) when I was very young. It really fucked me up. But then the bishop closed a bunch of schools, including mine and I ended up in a different school, taught by a different sect of nuns, and these sisters taught by Vatican II and I re-learned the faith. I relearned again when my mother sent me to high school (a liberal single sex school). I learned about myths, catholic "facts" and had an opportunity to survey Hinduism, Islam, Judiasm, Buddhism... ect. However, its important that i say my liberal education didn't keep me in the faith - But learning proper catechism helped me not to hate the faith. I found that religion was not for me after plenty of self examination and meditation in mid/late high school. I began to dislike religion after watching too many kill all in the name of something whose existence they could not prove.
And Brats soaked in Guinness, grilled over charcoal - that is Manna, bitches.