I'm taking my boyfriend to Dallas for his birthday so that we can go to the art museum and Medieval Times.  We wanted to invite Kyle and his girlfriend.  I think kids eat free at The Times.

Hahaha!

Zoomie, you say that as if any of our food isn't laced with feces of any kind. Bring on the feces! At least you get to wear a funny hat

So this past week I have been tending to a co-worker's fish and snakes, going over every couple of days. She told me to make myself at home, so I did. It's a big ass house with a nice pool and whirlpool, a 65" TV, and CABLE tv! Anyway, so my girlfriend and I decided we wanted to stay over there last night, kinda like being in a hotel or something. We had crazy hot couch sex, and felt so naughty doing it. I hope they don't wave a black light over their TV room anytime soon.



We had our own pantless party.

ewwww you could at least clean that up! gross.

We did clean up! We tried to be very careful, but there was a little spillage on the carpet. But I found their carpet cleaner and went to town on it.

See, always classy.

Also, that is NOT a picture of our mess tricky, that is just a general picture to give an example of what a black light can show.

yeah, everybody knows his mess has my name on it.

I'd have at least put a towel down or something ...

I wish I knew how to PhotoChop; I'd take that pic and spell "Joe" out of the stain ...

Also, that is NOT a picture of our mess tricky, that is just a general picture to give an example of what a black light can show.

Wow, way to unconvincingly backpedal.

This reminds me that I forgot to feed my friends cat yesterday.  Oh well, he's back in town today.

This reminds me that I forgot to feed my friends cat yesterday.  Oh well, he's back in town today.

There are 2 brothers - Mike and John. John is on vacation and Mike agrees to watch the house. The first night John decides to call his brother and check up on things.

He starts asking how things are and finally says 'How's my cat?'

Mike replies 'I'm sorry, man, you're cat is dead'.

John says 'What?! I really liked that cat, you have to break it to me more gently.'

Mike replies 'Ok, but how do I do that?'

John answers 'Day 1 - I call, you tell me the cat is on the roof. Day 2 - I check up on things, you say that the cat is still on the roof and that you called the fire department. Day 3 - I call and you say the firemen scared the cat, the cat jumped off the roof and is at the vets and it's not looking good. Day 4 - I call and you then tell me my cat died. Understand?'

Mike says 'Ok, I think I got it.'

John then asks how a few other things are and finally says 'How's grandma doing'

Mike Replies 'She's on the roof'

Keep your day job, Chief. Whatever that is...

Not my joke.

Nothing says I love you like a handful of roofies and a length of rope.

... and/or a really sharp razor