I married a dead person.

Honeymoon must've been memorable.

SO who gets the vending machine underwear ?

Dave, of course. That's the 1/60th part.

Oh, I'll gladly add to that collection!

Not quite dead yet.
Shocking, I know.
Already tried the marriage thing. She kept making out with hot girls and not sharing.
Total weaksauce.
I am however currently dating a cute dancer of the topless variety.
And no, I'm not posting her picture.

What can I do to her, all the way from Australia?

A buddy of mine here apparently has a couple of (ex?)-peelers who are looking forward to hanging out with the two of us sometime soon. WTFN?

I married a dead person.

Don't get bitten...

jerk off to it and wish you could get into some hot strippers panties?
ah?

That's assumed ...

Came close.

On the 26th, I'd been feeling shitty and short of breath for a few days and just figured I had a cold or something.  I took some Nyquil and lay down to try and take a nap.  This just made me more short of breath until I called my mother for a ride to the doctor to see what was up.  She'd been talking to my sister who freaked out and called 911, which it's good that she did because when I tried to move I didn't make it six feet before I had to sit back down gulping for air.  They gave me oxygen and put me in the ambulance and took me to the hospital where I spent a week on oxygen while they took tests.  I had a bronchial infection, and my blood sugar was really high so they say I'm diabetic now, though I'm not sure I agree with it.  I think the high blood sugar was just from being sick because it's been fine since it came back down.

The east Indian specialist says he thinks I have a pulmonary embolism blood clot in my lung somewhere but they can't put my fat ass in an MRI to scan and be sure.  The African M.D. has me on some blood thinner called cumadin or something but they can't give be the clotbuster blood thinner because they're not sure that there's even a clot there and it's too dangerous to give it to me if there's no clot.

I'm posting this from the therapy clinic I've been in for the last couple of weeks that the social worker woman said I'd be in for three months while they watched me but now she says I'm going home on the 21st because the physical therapy people say I'm fine and mobile and breathing now.

So maybe I'll go home and be okay or maybe a clot will break loose in my lung and kill me sometime in the next month or two, who knows, who cares, fuck it all and carry on my wayward son I guess.

Don't know why I'm even posting this here, really, except for posterity or whatever, or maybe habit.  I stopped posting here because I was sitting here one day and suddenly realized that I didn't really like most of you people very much, but for some fucked in the head reason I felt it needed posting here. 

I stopped posting here because I was sitting here one day and suddenly realized that I didn't really like most of you people very much,

same.

We're addictive assholes, apparently ...

You can't fit into an MRI machine because you are too fat and you wonder why you could be dying?  Maybe I should solve the "why does Sasha have herpes?!" caper.  Oh yea, I know why!  Because I used to be a whore!  I'm going to perscribe that you stop eating cheesebugers. 

used to be? You told us you were cheating on your bf not that long ago.

You can't fit into an MRI machine because you are too fat and you wonder why you could be dying?  Maybe I should solve the "why does Sasha have herpes?!" caper.  Oh yea, I know why!  Because I used to be a whore!  I'm going to perscribe that you stop eating cheesebugers.

You can't fit into an MRI machine because you are too fat and you wonder why you could be dying?

Point.

used to be? You told us you were cheating on your bf not that long ago.

Match.

I can't wait to see "game" ...

It takes a while for the healing process to complete itself when you used to be a whore. 

Some parts of it never heal ...

Or in your case never stop being a whore.

Fuse, I hope you sort your shit out and live a normal life. Your issue with weight seems so alien to me... I think "why doesn't he just eat less, and only eat vegetables for a year" - problem solved right? But it's probably more complicated than that. For the most part what you've said over the years has been counter to how I think so I argue with you on here, but I respect that you speak your mind and not what people want to hear. So anyway, eat carrots and not tacos and don't die you moron.

It might be a little beyond that scope, bro ...
However, I truly, and always have, wished Johnny the best ...

...slowly he turned...

...into a...

...slowly he turned...

 ...step by step...

Que?

inch by inch...

... row by row
... gonna make this garden grow?

It's an old vaudeville act, done by Abbott and Costello and The Three Stooges. It would detail how Johnny goes berserk when you call him Johnny...

Slowly I turned... Step by step...