Okay, well, i'm drinking too much and smoking too much and, it would appear, basically trying to kill myself,
in a passive/aggressive-type of way.
i AM pretty well freaking out. My 78, soon to be 79, year old mom is like, abandoned to her own devices, at the VERY time she needs company, and it's almost too sad to bear.
And, no, i'm not a big, fat liar ~ she IS in the hospital right now, but our phone had to be d/c until the 1st, so we lost that and the internet (i'm STEALING this connection from someone in the hood, right now), and no one has been able to call in, nor out, since early Son-day morning.
Yeah, stoopid as this is going to sound, a really close friend, who has kids, a hubby that has been on dialysis for about 20 years, blah, blah, blah, but anyway, she needed some extra cash, real quick-like, WITHOUT some astronomical Finance Fee, NOR a bunch of questions, and, well, we had it in the bank... It was for the phone bill, but really, we'll only "do without" for about a week, so. Just a bad timing thing.
i've been sucking up our money with cigs, herb, suds, grog, and then for me to give money "we didn't have," Dear says,
but we DID. i gave it away, and it was there, and then it was gone, so WE HAD IT. (What IS that??? Lots of peeps do that ~ they DO have it, but they can't share it. i don't get it. It isn't anything UNTIL you can share it with someone.)
Well, that's why my peeps sort of have to hate me ~ i don't care about money, even when i desperately need it. To me, whatever i need it for can wait, 'cuz i KNOW i'll live through it,
and it isn't the actual money that matters ~ it's what it can DO, for someone, you know?
Oh, and i sort of lied about that, too. i'm not actually online right now. i'm doing this in WordPad 'cuz whomsoever is paying for this connection is using it right now,
but just so you know ~ THAT's the kind of "liar" i am.
u know what? i might need to Blog this shit, instead of inflicting it upon every forum i touch... <sigh>