Loaded-Gun.Com - Anti-Social.Com's Rejects!
General Category => Discontempt => Topic started by: Zoomie on October 14, 2009, 07:57:23 AM
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So yesterdayday I sailed from Baltimore most of the way to Annapolis with a new acquisition. A Bayliner Buccaneer 240. Twenty-four feet of fiberglass. A freebie. It was a good sail. For a while. Then, in some semblance of chronological order:
Jibed in the middle of the Patapsco, almost capsized
Entire crew of large US Navy vessel watching and laughing
Wind and seas were twice what the NWS predicted and announced
Motor died at Smallwood Strait
Grounded at White Rocks
Towed off rocks by Riviera Beach VFD Fire Boat
Turned custody over to Coast Guard
Boarded and searched
Multiple federal citations for missing safety equipment
Looked like a moron
My son will likely never go sailing with me again
Left boat at yacht club on Stoney Creek, MIGHT go back and get it today...
Nah, I will.
But a piece of advice kiddos: Never set foot on a boat unless there are approved flotation devices for each person, some sort of hailing device, a fire extinguisher, and if you go more than 2 miles from any shore, aerial flares, the proper notification placards, and a waste management plan.
I am so boned. But all in all not a bad day! Cheers!
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y85/Zoomie/DSCF0390.jpg)
Baltimore Skyline Leaving Fells Point
(http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y85/Zoomie/DSCF0388.jpg)
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dahahahaha
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What type of fine are you looking at ?
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Dunno, they issue a boarding report and let the local Magistrate issue the citations. Could be a correct and inspect order, could be $10K and suspension of my boating license. Time will tell.
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Fuck.
Hope the magistrate doesnt have the whole trip report...and you dont have priors that relate.
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Is that a hat from Australia?
The lawmakers in your neck of the woods have no sense of adventure!
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Yup, it's a Barmah from Mosh's last trip. My favorite sailing hat. And it ain't my neck of the woods, these are Coast Guard regs. No priors so we'll see. At least they didn't randomly board me, if they had they would have terminated my voyage and pulled my card. And they were pretty cool, if it had been SoFL I'd have likely lost my boat. So I'm not too concerned.
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Well then, woods in the global sense, I suppose.
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Good luck with the fight against the man, cheese brother.
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If anyone's interested, I used Google Maps to track the roads next to what I think was Aaron's progress (http://maps.google.com/maps?f=d&source=s_d&saddr=baltimore&daddr=39.234381,-76.59977+to:White+Rocks,+Anne+Arundel,+Maryland+to:1130+Duvall+Hwy,+Pasadena,+MD+21122-1910+(Anne+Arundel+County:+Riviera+Beach)&hl=en&geocode=%3B%3BFVi-VQIdr-Jw-w%3BFcBOVQId401w-yHHSPM94fJtsg&mra=dme&mrcr=0,1&mrsp=1&sz=12&dirflg=w&sll=39.20703,-76.58504&sspn=0.200586,0.444603&ie=UTF8&ll=39.207251,-76.585007&spn=0.200586,0.444603&z=12).
How close did I get, sir?
Aaron's progress is, by the way, nothing like Pilgrim's Progress (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pilgrim's_Progress).
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I would have liked to see him sailing down Fort Smallwood Rd
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I would have liked to see him sailing down Fort Smallwood Rd
I will punch you in the face, Nick!
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made 'ya edit
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I will punch you in the face, Nick!
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Close. Start at the "Y" in "Little Italy". Follow it down the water, over the Ft McHenry tunnel, over the Harbor Tunnel Thruway, under the Key Bridge, and then to the letter "C" at White Rocks. If you follow the beach from White Rocks back into Rock Creek, the first north facing point is where I left her. If you follow the beach around White Rocks and up the middle branch of Bodkin Creek, all the way at the end on Maywood Road is where I needed to go. Basically just across Ft Smallwood road.
So close...
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When a friend of mine was in the Coast Guard his ship's crew used to receive many generous donations of freshly captured sea-life. Apparently this works wonders regarding random inspections.
...unless you're a one-handed heroin-addicted Russian, with strange ideas about how to maintain a ship's propeller shaft, I guess.
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I now hang my head in shame....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33306877/ns/local_news-baltimore_md/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33306877/ns/local_news-baltimore_md/)
My mom has been dead for 10 years, towing me off of some rocks hardly constitutes a rescue, but the rest is pretty much true...
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ZOMG! This is what the rescue looked like, isn't it...
(http://crazycrashes.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/boat_accident.jpg)
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Cant be, they have saftey gear.
Zoomie, feel lucky that that the write up does not paint you as sailing dope of the week.
or
Good thing you live in such a voilent area; on a slow day here, you would have had the TV crews waiting for you onshore and city councilors would be screaming for you to pay all costs.
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No no, go ahead everyone. I earned this. It was the supreme bonehead move to go out underpowered and without PFDs...
I've already gotten two phone calls from friends to bust my balls. That's how I found out about the write up.
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Journalism: False, but accurate.
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So if your mom is dead, who called the Coast Guard?
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Oh man. Time to start selling your asshole.
Detroit sends his condolences. Keep us updated
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Jeez Zoomie, you look like Robert Englund in that pic....cover Sakhi's eyes or take the pic down unless you wanna start giving the kids nightmares.
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One... two... Zoomie's comin' for you...
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From now on, I shall call you distressed boater.
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One... two... Zoomie's comin' for you...
Hahaha....that was pretty funny, I must admit.
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From now on, I shall call you distressed boater.
That's my native American name...
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Wow dude! First Cops, now this! You're famous!
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I was on COPS? Wow, how'd I look?
Bear in mind I have the memory of a flea...
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"With the help of the Anne Arundel County Fire Boat Rescue crew we were able to help this distressed boater and bring him home safely,"
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He wasn't distressed, he was drunk.
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Not this time, sister. Not this time.
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Why can't you own a boat like this?
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f3fTVkavMVg/SoxcZqzKFXI/AAAAAAAAChs/4Qcp-rfxOq0/s400/Pirate-Ship.jpg)
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captain jack sparrow? is that you?!
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You can't run a brothel on the deck of a sailboat.... pfffffttt.
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approved flotation devices for each person, some sort of hailing device, a fire extinguisher, and if you go more than 2 miles from any shore, aerial flares, the proper notification placards, and a waste management plan.
and an AMD 65.
I didn't know you had a son Zoomie, how old is he?
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Twenty one. He took video of us grounded on his cel phone, as soon as he mails me the mpegs I'll get them on Youtube.
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Why can't you own a boat like this?
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_f3fTVkavMVg/SoxcZqzKFXI/AAAAAAAAChs/4Qcp-rfxOq0/s400/Pirate-Ship.jpg)
Zooms, if you had a boat like that I'd move in with you.
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You, every person registered on this board and 20 other guys. You have no idea what it takes to maintain a wooden ship. Hence I haven't just built one to my own specs.
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We'll just keep it moored and bang chicks there dude.
Fuck that sailing it shit.
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I now hang my head in shame....
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33306877/ns/local_news-baltimore_md/ (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33306877/ns/local_news-baltimore_md/)
For posterity...
The Coast Guard rescued two people near Rock Creek in the Patapsco River on Tuesday.
Rescued were Aaron Goodman, 46, and his son, according to Coast Guard officials.
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A 25-foot response boatcrew from Coast Guard Station Curtis Bay, along with an Anne Arundel County Fire Rescue boatcrew, launched and arrived on scene at about 3:30 p.m. The Coast Guard rescue crew towed the disabled boat to the Rock Creek Yacht Club in Pasadena.
There were no reports of injuries.
"With the help of the Anne Arundel County Fire Boat Rescue crew we were able to help this distressed boater and bring him home safely," said Petty Officer 3rd Class Michel J. Hawrylak, "We value the working relationship we have with local agencies when working to save lives."
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You still have to pull it out of the water every other year and repack and recaulk all the planks on the hull. Fuck that wooden boat shit.
You want something like this (http://www.usyachts.com.au/Hunter-Yachts-Australia-50CC-Home-USyachts-sailboats-50foot-center-cockpit-luxury-yacht-cruiser.htm)
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No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.
We could turn it into a floating restaurant to cover the maintenance costs.
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Fuck that sailing it shit.
Yeah, I heard it makes you gay.
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No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.
We could turn it into a floating restaurant and casino to cover the maintenance costs.
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If we put it in the right location, fuck yeah!
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OK Just to clarify, after reading the MSNBC.com story of Tuesday's events I fired off an email to WBAL TV who was the originator of the story according to MSNBC. But of course, since WBAL does very little real investigation on their own, I was informed that the story came from a press release (http://coastguardnews.com/coast-guard-rescues-father-and-son-in-patapsco-river/2009/10/13/) generated by the US Coast Guard Public Affairs Office.
THis is to be expectred since the USCG, now a part of the Department Of Homeland Security has an obvious image problem.
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I think you should write them a very angry letter about this unacceptable outrage ASAP, especially before you get to the part where they tell you how much your fines will be.
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It's more a matter of my brother calling me last night asking me how our mother is...
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I smell countersuit, over emotional trauma.
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In that case, I make some modest ship recommendations?
http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/grand.turk/index.htm (http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/grand.turk/index.htm)
http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/pelican/menu.specs.pelican.htm (http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/pelican/menu.specs.pelican.htm)
http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/sea.stallion/sea.stallion.specs.htm (http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/sea.stallion/sea.stallion.specs.htm)
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Oh man, you can really set yourself up nice with this shit! Hello early retirement, and sailing around the world!
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See if I ever go boating with you after this... unless it's on the black pearl, haha.
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Oh bitch please. You'll spend your day on your knees learning why they call it the "cockpit".
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Twenty one. He took video of us grounded on his cel phone, as soon as he mails me the mpegs I'll get them on Youtube.
Mine is 32. Twenty one is a special year yo?
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Yes it is. But I'm blaming him for this entire episode. If he hadn't been such a pansy after we jibed in the harbor, we'd have been under sail, in deep water instead of motoring in the shallows.
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Hang on, this was his first time out ?
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First time on the Chesapeake in a big boat. He sailed with me many times on the lower Potomac.
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No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.
We could turn it into a floating restaurant to cover the maintenance costs.
RAPE BOAT!
Zoomie, that hat rocks!
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We're diversifying as we speak ....
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RAPE BOAT!
Dude, boats are like trains. You get women on board, grab a little wind, let them FEEL the motion of the water, the rocking, the vibration of a properly tuned rig, it like mesmerizes their gooey parts. If there's rapin' to be done, they're likely to do it.
Zoomie, that hat rocks!
Yes, that is my favorite sailing hat and I have gotten quite good at whipping it off my head and onto the galley counter in one quick motion, while diving for the foredeck... with the precision of this guy:
(http://jamesbond007.net/seconds/Oddjob1.jpg)
It does indeed rock.
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No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.
We could turn it into a floating restaurant and casino to cover the maintenance costs. And STILL have to work our fucking asses off almost constantly to keep the thing in decent condition.
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You pay people at that point ...
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That's why smart people buy land and build new, so they don't pour all their profits into maintenance. The way Eric wants to do it would entail buying TWO boats and swapping out operations from one to the other every 18 months or scuttling one and dumping profits into another every two years or so. Fuck that, too much money, too much hassle. Fiberglass is lower maintenance and you can make it look like a tall ship. But again, more money.
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As a businessman, I agree ...
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As someone who's worked extensively with varnish, I'm all about not worrying with the wooden boat snobbery rampant in my family.
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Yeah wtf is up with that? I sail past guys in homebuilt plywood mini schooners and strip kayaks and they all mutter, 'fuckin' plastic..."
I want to sail 9 months of the year, not 5 and spend 4 keeping the elements out.
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...or sail 12 months, if you live here.
Just stake yourself out a nice patch of mangroves for hurricane season!
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If only...
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Have any of you ever seen the movie "Breaking the Waves." There is a really sad rape boat scene in that movie that makes me hate fiberglass boats and makes me wish even more that Zoomie would buy a badass wooden pirate ship fully loaded with cannons!
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That's a shame but...
<-------
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That's right; he's MY dancing monkey ...
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S'right.
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Does your monkey dance for nickles? Because if he does, I have a purse full of nickles and a hankering for dancing monkeys.
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The cost for a kit for a decent wooden kayak + the time you would have to invest add up to significantly more than the cost of a pretty good manufactured kayak, as far as I'm concerned.
For lesser performance, too.
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Kits USED to save money ...
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Back when cedar, teak and holly were plentiful and cheap...
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any fallout from this yet? I mean, except you lookin' the fool
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Yeah the yacht club where we left her is probably gonna get shitty if I don't do something so Steeleye and I are going to move her down the bay this morning. Been in a gale since we tied up there until yesterday. As far as the Magistrate is concerned, not a peep. The wheels of justice grind slowly, and all...
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I have a big tub of this sitting around; I'll save some for you if you need it ...
(http://www.kinky-studio.com/sexshop/lotions/creams/anallube.jpg)
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But a piece of advice kiddos: Never set foot on a boat unless there are approved flotation devices for each person, some sort of hailing device, a fire extinguisher, and if you go more than 2 miles from any shore, aerial flares, the proper notification placards, and a waste management plan.
Did they accuse you of pooping overboard?
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No but that is certainly unlawful. They did question the overall lack of toilet facilities, I told them I'd only had the boat three hours.
We were peeing down the scuppers...
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Fish do it, why can't I?