"With the help of the Anne Arundel County Fire Boat Rescue crew we were able to help this distressed boater and bring him home safely,"

He wasn't distressed, he was drunk.

Not this time, sister. Not this time.

Why can't you own a boat like this?

captain jack sparrow? is that you?!

You can't run a brothel on the deck of a sailboat.... pfffffttt.

approved flotation devices for each person, some sort of hailing device, a fire extinguisher, and if you go more than 2 miles from any shore, aerial flares, the proper notification placards, and a waste management plan.

and an AMD 65.

I didn't know you had a son Zoomie, how old is he?

Twenty one. He took video of us grounded on his cel phone, as soon as he mails me the mpegs I'll get them on Youtube.

Why can't you own a boat like this?

Zooms, if you had a boat like that I'd move in with you.

You, every person registered on this board and 20 other guys. You have no idea what it takes to maintain a wooden ship. Hence I haven't just built one to my own specs.

We'll just keep it moored and bang chicks there dude.

Fuck that sailing it shit.

I now hang my head in shame....

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33306877/ns/local_news-baltimore_md/

For posterity...

The Coast Guard rescued two people near Rock Creek in the Patapsco River on Tuesday.

Rescued were Aaron Goodman, 46, and his son, according to Coast Guard officials.

...

A 25-foot response boatcrew from Coast Guard Station Curtis Bay, along with an Anne Arundel County Fire Rescue boatcrew, launched and arrived on scene at about 3:30 p.m. The Coast Guard rescue crew towed the disabled boat to the Rock Creek Yacht Club in Pasadena.

There were no reports of injuries.

"With the help of the Anne Arundel County Fire Boat Rescue crew we were able to help this distressed boater and bring him home safely," said Petty Officer 3rd Class Michel J. Hawrylak, "We value the working relationship we have with local agencies when working to save lives."

You still have to pull it out of the water every other year and repack and recaulk all the planks on the hull. Fuck that wooden boat shit.

You want something like this

No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.

We could turn it into a floating restaurant to cover the maintenance costs.

Fuck that sailing it shit.

Yeah, I heard it makes you gay.

No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.

We could turn it into a floating restaurant and casino to cover the maintenance costs.

If we put it in the right location, fuck yeah!

OK Just to clarify, after reading the MSNBC.com story of  Tuesday's events I fired off an email to WBAL TV who was the originator of the story according to MSNBC. But of course, since WBAL does very little real investigation on their own, I was informed that the story came from a press release generated by the US Coast Guard Public Affairs Office.

THis is to be expectred since the USCG, now a part of the Department Of Homeland Security has an obvious image problem.

I think you should write them a very angry letter about this unacceptable outrage ASAP, especially before you get to the part where they tell you how much your fines will be.

It's more a matter of my brother calling me last night asking me how our mother is...

I smell countersuit, over emotional trauma.

In that case,  I make some modest ship recommendations?

http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/grand.turk/index.htm

http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/pelican/menu.specs.pelican.htm

http://www.hugohein.com/classic.sail/sea.stallion/sea.stallion.specs.htm

Oh man, you can really set yourself up nice with this shit! Hello early retirement, and sailing around the world!

See if I ever go boating with you after this... unless it's on the black pearl, haha.

Oh bitch please. You'll spend your day on your knees learning why they call it the "cockpit".

Twenty one. He took video of us grounded on his cel phone, as soon as he mails me the mpegs I'll get them on Youtube.

Mine is 32. Twenty one is a special year yo?

Yes it is. But I'm blaming him for this entire episode. If he hadn't been such a pansy after we jibed in the harbor, we'd have been under sail, in deep water instead of motoring in the shallows.

Hang on, this was his first time out ?

First time on the Chesapeake in a big boat. He sailed with me many times on the lower Potomac.

No way man, the pirate ship is way cooler.

We could turn it into a floating restaurant to cover the maintenance costs.

RAPE BOAT!

Zoomie, that hat rocks!