win

Jenny Lewis does not belong in this thread. Either force feed her or get her the fuck out.

Stop fucking up my fatty thread!

Personally, I draw the line when the girl has a butt in the front and the back.

I like keep it easy so you can still remember what the rule is when you're shit face drunk.

Also, I find a good time to end the party is when you realize that you've been letting a random behometh yammer on at you for 15 minutes and discover your inner monologue saying, "Man, this is probably the least attractive human being ev4r! I bet I could totally get a blow job off this bitch".

Yeah, time to end the night.

Alone.

Out of interest, how often do you end the night alone at that point?

100% so far.

I'm lucky in the way that when mind starts trying to convince itself to do something because it'll make a great story it also realizes that I will be the butt of the joke in said story.

Well, most of the time. But when it comes to geting sexual favors from repulsive things I've been great at avoiding the story.

Wait, except for that one time, but I struck out that night which I think makes the story even better? I know it's a personal favorite of Mellos, and one of mine too.

So I guess it's really like 97%.

Also, I find a good time to end the party is when you realize that you've been letting a random behometh yammer on at you for 15 minutes and discover your inner monologue saying, "Man, this is probably the least attractive human being ev4r! I bet I could totally get a blow job off this bitch".

Yeah, time to end the night.

Alone.

Aww hell no, that's when the party's just getting started. Party is over when you wake up wearing the ropy coils of her intestines as adornments. That's when a trusted friend with a backhoe is a good thing to have.

aahhhhh, the fugly stick rule

That is my VERY FAVORITE krsna story, well, that and the one about you nearly going home with the tranny

That is my VERY FAVORITE krsna story, well, that and the one about you nearly going home with the tranny

My stories are good enough without embellishment. No need to stretch out "holy shit, this this thing's a dude!" and beating feet into "nearly going home with a tranny". That's like turning the story about how you climbed into my lap and straddled me as I drove around your neighborhood to demonstrate that it's possible to have sex while driving into "that time Mello fucked me while I drove my car".

Krsna. You were in the cab with this woman when you finally realized what happened - so you jumped out of the moving vehicle... that's at least how I remember it.

And yeah, you can fuck in a moving car and who's to say we didn't fuck that night - and put a cucumber in your ass?

You are such a shit head!

I was talking to a tranny and was shocked to find myself thinking, "Holy crap! I think this is a tranny!".

Then I was all like, "No way her friend can be a tranny." And I talked to her.

Then I was like, "Holy crap! I think this one is a tranny too".

Now, I wasn't 100% certain that either of them were trannies on their own, but the suspicion that either one of them seperately were trannies definitely meant that both of them together were. Are you following me, camera guy?

At that point I didn't want to look like some bumpkin who just figured out they were trannies and was all like, "Yo, I gotta go catch up with my friends (I was there by myself)" and wished them a good night.

At about 4 AM they were kicking everybody out of the club, and when I walked outsied the two transformers were getting into a cab and one of them saw me and yelled, "Hey, aren't you taking us home?!?".

And I was all like, "Uh, no."

But I like the narrow escape in your version. Maybe I'll change mine to that.

And we all know if you fucked me that night you would have used your freakishly large clitoris to ram your menstrual clots into my rectum and not a cucumber.

Is it really that freaky if every single part of her is a smoking hot woman except the crotchal area?  Everyone has been telling me it's not gay whenever I pick up a tranny.   

Are you following me, camera guy?

You'll love my nuts.

Vince rules, and fucking a tranny is gay. 

Man, if you were me that night you would have had the night of your life.

krapsna, are you some kind of homo or something? why were you talking to trannies?

drugmoth, you are definitely gay aren't you.

It's why I call him "FuckedMouth" ...

krapsna, are you some kind of homo or something? why were you talking to trannies?

drugmoth, you are definitely gay aren't you.

No.

krapsna, are you some kind of homo or something? why were you talking to trannies?

drugmoth, you are definitely gay aren't you.

How have you been, Miss Viscous??

No shit?

Oraegan maneyo you unsociable bitch.

No shit?

I'm just guessing, actually.  No idea.

Who is Miss Viscous? Not ringing a bell.

Who is Miss Viscous? Not ringing a bell.

It's probably not Kid Viscous.  I was just guessing.
She was a pretty asian girl (real this time) from Cali.
I just sent a text to her LKG #; hopefully she's still there!

Ah I remember her vaguely.

See? You made me pull out the stops on my mad Korean skillz for no reason...

If KV, then hey! What's shaking?

Man, I really like that show, The Biggest Loser!
It's one of my few guilty TV pleasures.

I have KV on MySpace and I sent her a pm about this place so that's probably it. Hows things?

KV doesnt belong in this thread either... she is so not fat.

Psh. Yeah. If I remember right she's pretty small actually.