The issue at the moment though, as you can see in the above excerpt, is that I've been on a speed run and she wants me over tomorrow night or I won't be able to go over for a couple weeks.  The thing is, is that I have no fucking idea where my head will be at and if I will even have it in me tomorrow to go visit.

You're fucking kidding.

The issue at the moment though, as you can see in the above excerpt, is that I've been on a speed run and she wants me over tomorrow night or I won't be able to go over for a couple weeks.  The thing is, is that I have no fucking idea where my testicles are and if I will even have it in me tomorrow to go visit.

There's nothing like the smell of pure and unadulterated desperation in the air. This big bitch wants you over so quickly and is willing to look past the fact that you have little creatures on your dong,  because she's lonely.

Also, she does look very familiar to me too. Actually I know what it is... she looks like the Jewish girl with the enormous tits, that I took out a few times last year.

Uhm, Kyle ...
Uhm ....

That girl on the right, Kyle? Ugh. That is nasty. Her tall friend with the tattoos is hot, though. But I'm sure she's out of your league.

Danzig- hit it as many times as you can. Duh.

Dam. it's like Kyle managed to get 2 of my X's together for a pic.

That girl on the right, Kyle? Ugh. That is nasty. Her tall friend with the tattoos is hot, though.

I always knew you were a dyke at heart.

I always knew you were a strap-on wearing bull dyke at heart.

Corrected.

I'm not a dyke, however you say that as if being a dyke is a bad thing?

I agree that the tall girl is hot.  I like tattooed girls generally.

if those are the choices, I'm sitting at the bar watching sportscenter. Hopefully two buildings down the street.

if those are the choices, I'm sitting at the bar watching sportscenter. Hopefully two buildings down the street.

Well, there is that.  I see a Jagermeister t-shirt in the background, which means odds are that they're at a terrible concert.

I agree that the tall girl is hot.  I like tattooed girls generally.

dyke

Yeah there's nothing hot about that picture in any way.

I agree that the tall girl is hot.  I like tattooed girls generally.

dyke

Considering the number of dykes I end up hitting on, it's probably true.

I fucked a girl like this one time.  She was crazy.  I left her in a pile of her own tears and my own semen and never spoke to her again.

Well good fucking morning to you all.  That was a crazy 24 hours I spent over at her house.  I really don't think things could have turned out much better than they did.  Here's how things went down...

The entire time consisted of me getting to know this girl, and at the beginning I realized that this is a super cool chick.  I never got tired of talking to her once, and we talked the entire fucking time.  It was established that both of us do not want a relationship, only a close friend + benefits, and we hit it off great.  We were awake the entire time, fueled by Vyvanse, alcohol, and I also had some DXM.  Things started with lots of cuddling and making out, and it was fucking great to finally touch a female again, heh.  Slowly throughout the night I learned that this girl is a super slut extraordinaire.  A total sexual deviant that is into BDSM and much, much more.  She told me countless stories of all the crazy and nasty things she is into and has done.  Lactation is her favorite fetish.  I mean, the chick has a fucking tramp stamp that says SLAVE that she got when she was 19.  No fucking shit.  I don't even know where to begin with all the nasty shit she has done with men and women, just fucking take my word for it, she's deviant as all fuck.  She pretty much told me that she wants to find lots of dirty and creative ways that we can fuck around without having actual sex to get around the HPV problem.  She was excited at the idea of me watching her get fucked by someone else, among other things.  I ended up pounding her with a huge dildo at the end of the night while I called her things like "dirty slut" and "dumb little bitch".  She seemed to REALLY like that.

So I'm supposed to visit again next weekend.  This is the best friend with benefits EVAR.  Just look at this shit eating grin, it says a thousand words:

Good thing you havent posted pics of her then eh.

super slut extraordinaire.

high five!

she wants to find lots of dirty and creative ways that we can fuck around without having actual sex to get around the HPV problem.

huh? when you say "fuck around" do you mean you two will include other people somehow without actually fucking them? or do you mean.... you two are not going to fuck?

oh, and shave the neckbeard and get a haircut. what are you, a HF refugee?

super slut extraordinaire.

high five!

she wants to find lots of dirty and creative ways that we can fuck around without having actual sex to get around the HPV problem.

huh? when you say "fuck around" do you mean you two will include other people somehow without actually fucking them? or do you mean.... you two are not going to fuck?

oh, and shave the neckbeard and get a haircut. what are you, an HF refugee?

She loves the hair, I'm not shaving it.  And I mean that we will do everything that doesn't include sticking my dick in her.  Fact is, it could kill her if I fucked her.  Her cervix has already been ravaged by cancer, caused by another type of HPV strain.  Contracting another kind could destroy her cervix and kill her.

So that means you probably won't put it in her anywhere?

Maybe put it in her ear.

PUT IT HER COLON

tell your wife that you want to make sweet love to her colon.

I'm sure I'll convince her to let me put, just the tip!, in her ass or something.  She likes creampies.

the neck beard reminds me of the original Planet Of The Apes

Shut it up, you damn dirty ape.

So how do you get off with all this?
Stand over the sink jacking off while looking at her fuck herself and/or others in the mirror?

I agree that the tall girl is hot.  I like tattooed girls generally.

That tall girl is a guy.

super slut extraordinaire.

high five!

she wants to find lots of dirty and creative ways that we can fuck around without having actual sex to get around the HPV problem.

huh? when you say "fuck around" do you mean you two will include other people somehow without actually fucking them? or do you mean.... you two are not going to fuck?

oh, and shave the neckbeard and get a haircut. what are you, an HF refugee?

She loves the hair, I'm not shaving it.  And I mean that we will do everything that doesn't include sticking my dick in her.  Fact is, it could kill her if I fucked her.  Her cervix has already been ravaged by cancer, caused by another type of HPV strain.  Contracting another kind could destroy her cervix and kill her.

APE SHALL NOT KILL APE!

So I'm supposed to visit again next weekend.  This is the best friend with benefits EVAR.  Just look at this shit eating grin, it says a thousand words:

And where are the vagina pics? I specifically requested vagina pics!