When you are on the toilet, what is your preferred reading material?

What are you currently reading?

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.

It's usually some fiction along those lines. Sandford or Patterson. Serial killers help me poop.

Right now - for whom the bell tolls. But I think I'll go back to The Secret Diaries of Adrian Mole

Whatever's on my laptop or cellphone at the time ...

For krsna, it's Cosmo ...

Mags or whatever book I have going.

You know what; bla, fucking, bla ...
release your anus to my custody already ....

Sheesh!

Your idea of forepay lasts too long ...

In Cold Blood by Truman Capote.

Thats ironic, so am I...

Wouldn't that be coincidence and not irony?

Wouldn't irony be if you were reading about pooping while killing someone?

What it all comes down to is that everything's gonna be fine;  he has got one hand on his cock and the other one wiping his buttcrack.

Nice job there, Alannis...

Nice job there, Alannis...

Don't you think?

Thank you India, thank you terror.

Wouldn't that be coincidence and not irony?

Wouldn't irony be if you were reading about pooping while killing someone?

Hehe, I think so...

THNAK YUO SHEEPRAPE!

My preferences run to Private, Pirate, and Bizarre.

Dear John

BASF WW2 Dear John TV commercial

I used to be in a chick band called Dear John.

It was crap. Mid-90's wanna be Belly but with a lead singer with a flat ass, screetchy voice, and played guitar like old people fuck.

I used to have a demo tape lying around, but it's gone. Just know that when I finally paid attention to what the lyrics were (for instance she wrote a whole song about catching her boyfriend jerking it from outside the window because she was stingy with it), and she tried to name a song Cathedral of Thorns, I was out.

How is this so commonplace? Everyone I know does this except me. Has the whole world gone crazy?
Pooping takes me a maximum of 60 seconds. What the hell can you get read in 60 seconds?
When I feel the urge I put my book down, go to the shitter, take care of business, wipe, flush, wash hands, and then return to my book.
I have no interest in hovering above my stinky pile while I finish the chapter or the article I'm on.

^ exactly.
I dont think I know anyone who does this in real life, well, no one that would openly admit it.



...i think the idea is that you're there a bit longer than 60 seconds though.

Maybe you have really powerful bowels or eat a much healthier diet than me (and probably most Americans), I usually spend at least 5 minutes on the toilet.

I don't think I've ever, in my entire life, taken a shit that was 60 seconds or less.  But I do have one friend who can literally do the whole business in under 30 seconds.  I've never figured out how.

Anyways, when I'm at home I usually just bring whatever school stuff I'm reading over to the john.  When I'm at work I play solitaire on my Ipod touch.  Pretty awesome.

I just timed myself.
64 seconds from entrance to exit in the bathroom.
33 seconds from sitting down to wiping.
And this was a slow one for me since last night was one of very heavy drinking...
If you factor in the time it would take to open the book up and find your place, I'm left with 30 seconds of reading time on a slow shit. That's 3 sentences maybe.

I can get through a good 2-3 articles in the WSJ in the time it takes to shit. How ironic

But I do have one friend who can literally do the whole business in under 30 seconds.  I've never figured out how.

Only way to find out:  scientific observation.

Not all of us have 12-gauge assholes.

I am also super fast.  It's probably because I eat a ridiculous amount of fiber every day and go a couple of times.  From every vegetarian website/book I've ever read that makes mention of such things, that's simply a consequence of the diet.

I also do like reading in there, though.  It's old habit - I would hide in there to read as a teenager when I was avoiding doing chores.

having lived in several countries, including the USA, my guess is that the amount of crap in your food plays a part. I was shitting 2-3 times a day in the USA. That's stupid

I go 3 times a day, usually, which is pretty normal for the veg. crowd.  1-2 is healthy on an average diet according to what I just looked up in google.

I have the runs every day.

I wouldn't call it the runs, but I have pretty loose bowels lately. I think it's stress and too much coffee.

Chitownoi would be so proud of us talking about our poops like this. If he were here he'd post pics of his, you know...

I go once a day. Even less reason for me to have reading material...

Not all of us have 12-gauge assholes.

Hahaha! Seriously!