We have three months before the upcoming transplant date.
My donor and all the adventures so far have happened, and I'm halfway to telling the guy to piss off and take his bulimic kidney with him.
For those not in the know, I had a stranger to me, acquaintance to a cousin in Michigan, step forward to be tested as a living donor for my needed kidney transplant. I was taken back and stunned by the gesture. So, I sent him all the paperwork and he went through with the testing and I received a message from HIS mother. She essentially threw down the gauntlet of how he is an alcoholic, bulimic, an attention whore... Oh, and also how she used to beat the shit out of him and his twin sister when she was a single mother. She offered her own kidney in place of her son's. She also railed on how undependable his wife is, being bi-polar, and the only reason he married his wife is because he wanted an Asian baby. His wife is Korean.
She went on to further detail my donor's reason for this is that he thinks this will bring me to find Christ as my Lord and Savior. He also intends to NOT proceed with follow-up appointments from the surgery, which could be a verifiable death sentence. He wants to be remembered for doing a great act for the glory of God. He wants to be a martyr.
We flew him down here to South Carolina from Michigan for the final round of testing. We met him at the airport, got him a rental car, and had him over for dinner. He seemed sane and reasonable. Never pressed any religious issue to my face, and seemed quite friendly. I was starting to think his mom was just looney tunes, then a month after he flew back to Michigan, IT started.
Bible verses, talk of his sacrficial "gift" to me, and then once I started looking into making his travel arrangements for him and his wife, he demands his two year old daughter must travel with and stay with him. The hospital allows no visitors under 12, let alone 2 year olds in the post-op ICU.
Every arrangement we send up that we can afford, he has disregarded. And he's not really looking pitch in since he is in Chapter 13 bankruptcy and his wife is in Chapter 7. Now, why in the world, if you are that far deep in shit would you go and put yourself on the O.R. slab (risking death, albeit a small chance), when you need to get your family out of debt and secure a future for your daughter.... UNLESS you were planning to die...
To me, it seems as he's trying to find a nice tidy way to die by martyrdom. I feel bad for his daughter. I'm already more than tempted to walk away. I have other folks who have volunteered and they are leagues more sane and live a lot closer. I'm meeting with my Dialysis unit social worker and nephrologist on April 3 to talk it over for their opinion. My Nurses and Techs simply said, "Sounds like a whackjob."
Average wait time for a cadaver transplant at my center for my blood type (O+) is 3 years. I've already been on it almost 2 years. I can deal with dialysis a little while longer.